Chapter 7
SLEEPING WAS A JOKE. Max thought his body and mind would tire out eventually, but all he could think about was the beauty sleeping in the bed next to his. She was so close, but not close enough. He wanted her in his arms. Her scent made his cock half erect the entire night. His wolf side was grumpy because he hadn’t taken her in his arms like he wanted. His right inner thigh started bothering him as he lay in bed, too—really bothering him. It was an itch that wouldn’t go away.
When he checked the time again for like the billionth time, he decided five was as long as he could wait. He wasn’t going to try to sleep anymore. He turned over in his bed to get a look at Ava. She was curled up in a ball, blankets all around her like a cocoon. When she took off her hat to sleep, he saw her black hair was almost shaved down to the scalp. He didn’t know if it was a fashion statement or what, but it wasn’t typical. Did it make her any less attractive to him? A hard no. He had never been more attracted to anyone in his life. She was so gorgeous. The tangled mess of blankets she was buried in made him crack a smile. She hadn’t slept any better than him. He heard her every movement during the night. She seemed to be sleeping now, though. Her breaths were long and deep, a subtle rise and fall in her chest.
Max sat up, grabbed his laptop, and made some progress on commissioned work, coding for various things. It kept him busy for a couple hours, and Ava continued to sleep soundly.
Busying his mind sort of made him forget about the itch, but it never went away. Enough was enough.
Quietly, he closed his laptop, got out of bed, grabbed some clothes for the new day, and padded with light steps to the bathroom. He shut the door for privacy—though his wolf thought that was stupid and unnecessary especially considering Ava wasn’t even awake—and stripped his sweats. He touched his right inner thigh. There wasn’t a bump. His skin was smooth as ever, so the burning wasn’t because of a bug bite. He moved and looked down at the skin. An area close to the size of his palm reflected the light at a certain angle. His heart sank and swelled at the same time. That was the Moon. He had a Lunas Sigil. He was afraid of this. That was why he hadn’t checked it last night between being frazzled and not wanting to deal with it. But how? Why did he have a Moon Mark?
You know how. You know why, too.
“Fffffuck,” Max gritted out. Swearing be damned. Derek swore at least one hundred times a day. The words were just kind of stuck in his head at this point, and they seemed to relieve tension, but it wasn’t by much. Nothing made him feel better—until Ava. This could not be happening.
Max needed to ask for advice.
You already know what it means.
But he really wanted to talk to someone about it, and not a Fated Mates pair of wolves. Nick, Gwen, Willow, and Derek were out of the question. They would tell him what he already knew. Julie didn’t have a Lunas Sigil but she was mated. She and Howard went through a rocky spot, but they were okay now. She was happily mated. She was the history keeper, too. She knew all the stories surrounding Lunas. What did a Lunas Sigil actually mean? Maybe there was more to it.
Now you’re making excuses.
“Shut up, stupid wolf,” Max hissed as he pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead. He was going to talk to Julie. He made his decision.
You’ll give in eventually.
Max tried to ignore it, but that thought held truth. The wolf side of him was being patient—patient—for now, but if he started warring with himself again, he’d do… something. He thought about Ava sleeping all curled up in a mountain of blankets. Warm and safe like he wanted her always. If he could only make her smile and smash those fears he kept smelling in her scent, everything would be perfect. A smile tugged at his lips again. He caught the stupid face he was making in the mirror and composed himself.
Once he was presentable, ready for the day, he emerged from the bathroom to see Ava awake. She was sitting up in bed, her many covers pushed to the side. She was wearing a large t-shirt, but the fabric was thin and the way her back was curved as she stretched made it impossible not to see her small breasts through the fabric. Her nipples were perky and showing through. Max went weak in the knees. He righted himself when she stopped her stretch and looked at him inquisitively. He was hard again. She knew. She knew how she turned him on. That was one of the “benefits” of being a wolf after all. She didn’t have to look at his pants to see his boner. She could smell the desire on him just fine.
God, he was embarrassed. He could smell her arousal too, and it made him worse. It was painful to be wearing jeans when his dick pressed so hard against them, begging for freedom. Begging for Ava. Dammit. He had lost all of his goddamn sense. He should at least take her on a date first? A date? How long had it taken him and Lizbeth to get to the sleeping together part? Forget that she cheated on him. Feeling this unbearable attraction for someone wasn’t like him at all. Call it a low libido or whatever, but he never looked at a woman before and immediately thought sex. He didn’t want to start with it now. It was too weird. He should get to know her first. He wanted to get to know her first.
You do know her.
That was a mega huge lie. He didn’t know anything about her.
Ava’s brown skin flooded with red, especially on her cheeks. She averted his gaze and grabbed the clothes she had spread out on her bed. She ran past him to the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. She was skittish—not that he blamed her. She was a new wolf. Knowing his desire for her had to be unnerving.
Max shook his head forlornly. This sucked. Maybe he should leave so she could have some time to herself. He could slip outside right now. That would be rude though, wouldn’t it? Leaving without a word?
Sighing, Max walked up to the closed bathroom door and knocked. “You can grab breakfast at the cafe. It’s easy to spot. I’m heading out.”
“You’re heading out?” she repeated.
“I gotta do something.”
“Eat breakfast first. I… could use an escort.” The anxiety in her voice rang in his ears like warning bells. She didn’t want him to leave?
“Sure, okay. Breakfast first,” he agreed.
“I-I’ll be quick.” The anxiety in her voice disappeared, washed away by a wave of relief.
Max didn’t know what to think. He went back to his bed, sat down, and pulled the cross outside of his shirt so it could be seen hanging around his neck. He held it in the palm of his hand and silently asked God for help.
A moment later, Ava stepped outside of the bathroom. She was wearing a warm sweater and jeans, a lot like what she wore yesterday. She went to the edge of her bed to pull on warm socks and boots, so Max started doing the same so they could leave as soon as she was ready. He took another peek at her face because something seemed different. She applied makeup. That’s what it was. It was light and not very noticeable, lip gloss and mascara. Not to point fingers, but it was obvious she wasn’t a makeup guru—unlike Lizbeth. The mascara was a hasty job that didn’t look bad, but makeup was something she did not have a lot of experience with. She hadn’t worn any yesterday. Was she dressing up for him? His little sister got obsessed with makeup when she started junior high because she said she wanted to catch the boys’ attention.
The thought of his little sister brought a frown to his face. He missed his family. He would have to suck up the hurt and confusion soon. He needed to talk to them and tell them what was going on. Adopted or whatever the case was, he had stayed away from them for too long. They would love him no matter what, right? The fact that he was unsure made him feel sick. He had never doubted his family’s love before, but the wolf thing was kind of a big thing. How would they react?
You won’t know until you tell them the truth.
When the hell did his inner wolf become so sage-like? Where was the wild animal he had been fighting with for two months?
Max watched as Ava donned a scarf, a coat, and a hat. She was really bundling up. Yeah, it was snowing and cold, but wolves ran pretty hot. All he needed was a long-sleeved shirt or jacket, jeans, and a pair of boots, and this weather didn’t seem to bother him much usually.
Ava caught his eyes, but she didn’t hold his gaze. Her eyes went to the cross dangling from his neck. “What’s that?” she asked as she fidgeted with her fingers.
Max shrugged. “A cross. My mom gave it to me years ago. I wear it all the time because it helps me feel closer to God. It reminds me to stick up for what I believe in.”
Ava went silent. Her scent soured. For whatever reason, it seemed she didn’t like what he had to say about the cross, or maybe God. Fear was interlaced in her scent. Strange. She was the one who asked. Didn’t a cross usually have something to do with God?
Trembling, Ava hid her hands behind her back. A pair of gloves were sitting on her bed, but she made no move to put them on. Then Max smelled it, the iron, the blood.
Without thinking, acting on nothing but instinct, Max snatched one of Ava’s wrists. She whimpered as he held her hand and saw the fresh blood seeping from the wounds on her fingertips. She just barely ripped them open again, and he hadn’t noticed. That was what she did when she fidgeted with her fingers. It wasn’t simple fidgeting. She picked at the scabs.
Ava tried to jerk away from him, but he was stronger than her and had no intention of letting go. “Why’d you do it?” His voice was low in his throat, quiet.
“I-I don’t know,” she whispered as she looked down at her boots. Shame. He sensed shame.
Max decided not to press. He moved his free hand to her back and guided—sort of forced—her into the bathroom. He walked her to the sink and trapped her against his chest and the sink. He turned on the tap and made sure the water was the perfect temperature before putting her hand under the steady stream. He gently washed all her fingers on one hand and then went for the other. He could feel Ava’s fluttering heartbeat through her back and into his chest. She wasn’t fighting against him anymore, but he was afraid that if he didn’t act like a wall to keep her here, she’d dart away from him. God, and he still had a wicked boner, but that wasn’t what this was about. He wanted to take care of her. He wanted to make sure her fingers were allowed to heal all the way this time. Maybe if they healed and there were no more scabs to pick at, she’d be able to curb this habit.
After her hands were clean, he grabbed a couple paper towels and dried them thoroughly. His touch was light. He was determined not to make her hurt any more than she already was. The constant shake in her hands had him worried.
“I’m putting more of that ointment on your fingers and then I’m wrapping them up,” he told her.
“W-why?” she asked in barely a whisper.
“So that they’ll heal faster, and maybe the bandages will remind you not to pick at them.”
“You don’t have to.”
He didn’t have to what? Take care of her?
“I want to,” he said. His words were followed by a slight growl. He wasn’t angry, but his wolf and human sides were connected on a high of emotions.
“There’s no reason to fuss over me,” she insisted.
Max turned her around to face him and cupped her cheeks in his hands to make sure she looked him in the eye when he said, “Of course there is. And I don’t mind. I want you to be comfortable in Moonwatch. The shifters here are good people. They won’t hurt you. They’ve been doing their best to help me for two months even though I’ve made it really damn hard on them because I never cooperate. They haven’t given up on me. They won’t give up on you. I won’t give up on you, and I’m not going to stop fussing.”
Wow, did he really just say all of that? He clenched his teeth, afraid of what Ava would say in response. He meant every word, but wasn’t it too much all at once?
To his surprise, she smiled. It was a small, shy smile, but it was there. Her eyes were glossy with the threat of tears. He sensed relief from her. Pain too. The pain stretched far and wide. It was rooted deep inside of her.
“Ava,” he said her name softly, uncertainly.
“Thank you,” she said. “No one’s ever done anything like this for me before.”
Max cocked his head, confused, but he didn’t press for more. He needed to get her patched up and then he was going to take her to breakfast. As he wrapped her fingers up tight, he said, “If Nick tells you guys to shift in class today, tell him you have to wait for your fingers to heal.”
“You make it sound like you aren’t going to be there,” she commented.
“I’m not.”
“Why? You’re an Awakened Wolf too, right?”
Max grimaced. “My wolf doesn’t play well with others. I get solo classes.” Well, he did. He hadn’t gone to classes or let his wolf out once since he almost killed Nick a week ago. He still didn’t want to let that side of him out either. For now, his wolf was okay with that. He was allowing it. The wolf would never go away, though. Today, the idea of accepting his wolf didn’t seem so bad. Since Ava arrived last night, something inside of him changed. He was calmer, more himself—his whole self. Wolf included.
One thing at a time.
When Max finished bandaging Ava’s fingers, wrapping them up in gauze so she wouldn’t be able to pick at them so easily, he asked, “How do they feel?”
“Better than they ever have,” she said with a shy look up at his face.
Max grabbed a pair of gloves peeking out of the bag on her bed. She hadn’t worn them yesterday because the fabric probably agitated her fingertips. Now it wouldn’t. He took her hands and slid the gloves on, careful with each finger. Her cheeks were a constant deep red. Her arousal was thick in the air. The moment he stopped touching her, she grabbed his hand. He didn’t know how much more of this tension he could take. His body had never ached so much, and that stupid Lunas Sigil on his thigh was burning its way into his flesh.
“What’s up?” Max asked like a dumbass, like he didn’t know.
Ava pressed her forehead into his arm as she continued holding his hand. He tried to stop a helpless sound from escaping his throat, but he did a miserable job of it. She was pressing herself again him, allowing him to feel her body. It didn’t matter that she was dressed in layers of warm clothes. She was being vulnerable in front of him, touching him when she drew away from him in fear last night.
“How are you so warm?” she asked.
He could ask her the same thing, but he didn’t. “We should get going if you want breakfast before class.”
Ava nodded, her face burning red. She let go of Max’s hand and followed him out of the motel. Max shoved his hands in his pockets so he wouldn’t get any ideas.
The cafe wasn’t too far away, and Max’s Volvo was gathering dust in Boise, so walk was what they did. It bothered him when he saw Ava shiver, though. He slowly took his hand out from his pockets and wrapped an arm loosely around her, resting his hand on her waist. She didn’t pull away. She snuggled closer to him and they fell into step easily.
Mate.
Max ignored the thought. She wasn’t his mate. They weren’t married. He hadn’t claimed her.
The rest of their walk was quiet, but the warmth between them spoke volumes.
The cafe was busy this morning like it was most mornings. All the guests in Moonwatch ate here regularly for breakfast and many of the residents did too.
“Hey, you two,” Willow greeted them with a big smile. She liked working at the cafe whenever she got a chance to. It was her regular job before becoming one of Nick’s Betas.
“Window booth?” she asked.
“Like always,” Max replied.
She led the way to a secluded booth in the corner of the cafe. It had a great view of the rest of downtown. Max always ate breakfast alone, but he liked watching outside, seeing what everyone else was doing. Seeing their smiles. Maybe he did it to torture himself with his own loneliness.
“The usual?” Willow asked as she held out a little notepad with a wolf on the cover.
Max nodded his head. “Yep.”
“What about you, Ava? Need a minute to look at the menu or do you want to leave your meal up to me?” She winked, brown eyes sparkling.
“I don’t have much money,” Ava said quietly.
“I’ve got you covered,” Max replied.
“Even if he didn’t, we could open a tab. You’d pay us back by working for a while.” Willow shrugged. “It’s pretty laid back here. It’s not like we don’t have enough to share. We’re providing for all our guests.”
Yes, Moonwatch was small, but they didn’t lack for anything. Blue Pack had become self-sufficient generations before. Max was paying for everything because his pride wouldn’t allow anything less, but it was nice Blue Pack could provide for Awakened Wolves who weren’t as well off financially as he was.
“O-okay,” Ava said uneasily. “Pick for me.”
“You got it.” Willow flitted away, weaving through the busy cafe with ease.
An awkward silence settled between Max and Ava. Neither one would look at the other. Max forced his eyes to the window while Ava stared at her lap. The hair on the back of Max’s neck prickled as he thought about her picking at her fingers again, so he tore his gaze away from the window and watched her instead.
“I’m not picking,” she said like she could tell what he was thinking. “I almost did, but then I touched the bandage and I remembered.” She ran her hand across the burgundy colored wood table separating them. “I like how all the buildings here look like a set. The woodwork is so pretty. I like the wolves carved in places you wouldn’t expect.”
Max was intrigued by the architecture when he first arrived too. Every building was made with so much care. It extended to the motels as well. No building was complete without burgundy wood and wolf carvings. It was a tradition through and through.
“Yeah, they put a lot of heart into their home,” Max said. “Everyone’s united here, working toward the same goals. It’s nice.”
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Ava told him.
“Me neither.”
Willow returned in what seemed like no time at all. She had two plates of steaming hot food on a tray as well as two mugs of coffee. She set everything down with a grace Max had never seen in a human woman.
“Enjoy!” she announced, walking away almost as soon as she came.
Ava’s eyes were round like marbles. “This looks delicious.”
Max had to agree. She got a pastry that looked a lot like a croissant drizzled with chocolate. She had some hash browns on the side as well as some bacon and eggs. He had his typical stir-fry chock-full of four different kinds of meat.
“Ahhh,” Ava exclaimed as she carefully picked up her sweet pastry. Her eyes were as big as a kid’s in a candy store. Max was wearing a grin. He couldn’t help it. She was too cute.
Her cheeks reddened again when she caught him grinning at her. It was then he noticed the shake in her hands as she took a careful bite of the pastry. Max grabbed her fork, scooped up some eggs and held them out to her. She set down her pastry and gave him a questioning look.
“Take a bite,” he said.
Her face turned so red Max had to stifle a laugh. He talked in a soothing voice, “Nothing to worry about. No one’s looking. It’s just me and you.”
Ava’s lips quivered. Max thought she might turn down his offer to feed her, but she surprised him by slowly wrapping her lips around the fork and claiming the eggs he dished up for her. She chewed quietly, never taking her eyes off him. The way her eyes dilated got to his dick, but the way she shyly smiled at him warmed his heart. He never felt this way about anyone before. Not even Lizbeth, the woman he thought he wanted to marry.
He wanted to get to know Ava. He’d be her friend and make her as comfortable as possible. It didn’t seem smart to try to jump into anything more too fast. It couldn’t be that easy to move on. Could it?
Just as they fell into step on their way to the cafe, they created a smooth rhythm here. Max dished up her food, she took small bites. It was silent, but this was a comfortable silence.
“Your food is probably cold,” Ava told him after he fed her everything but her pastry. She picked up her pastry and took another delicate bite out of it as if to show him she could feed herself just fine. Holding a fork was just a little bit of a challenge with how her hands trembled in pain. Pain. Max hated that she was in pain. He’d take it away in an instant if he had the power to.
He proceeded to scarf down his food so he wouldn’t keep her waiting. He’d walk her to the Alpha Den and then go to Julie’s. Okay, fine. He probably knew exactly what she was going to tell him, but he needed to hear it from her anyway. He would try to deny it. One more time at least.
He was already losing the battle.
Maybe Julie would tell him Ava was his Fated Mate, and he would be able to accept it. The more time he spent with her, the closer he was to her, the more he felt like being with her like this for always was what his future entailed. He wanted it. He admitted it. He felt good around her. He felt whole. His wolf was calm, and every time she looked at him he got these crazy flutters in his stomach. His wolf side had already decided. He decided Ava was his the moment he laid eyes on her. The wolf side was being patient. The human side of him was coming around.