Chapter 10
MAX ENDED UP DOZING. He hadn’t meant to, but being emotionally spent had a lot bigger toll on his mind and body than he was giving it credit for. He startled at the sound of someone knocking on his door. He hesitated a moment, face still planted in his pillow. It couldn’t be Ava. She wouldn’t have come back.
“Come in,” Max said, lifting his head enough to make his voice not muffled, and then dropping his face back into his pillow. He left the door unlocked, so he didn’t have to get up to answer it. He turned his head when he heard the door open to see Willow’s worried face. She was breathing heavily, too.
“What’s wrong?” Max asked, feeling suddenly awake.
Willow wrung her hands. “I was going to come over to get Ava’s things. I mean, that’s why I came over, but Derek stopped me before I got here. Ava ran away. He’s tracking her now. I think he’s probably right on her tail. I guess he was expecting her to do something like this and gave her the ‘opportunity to escape.’” Willow shook her head. “I don’t know! I just know you need to go to her, Max. Ava’s always reeking of fear. I’m worried about her.” She locked her brown eyes, glowing a subtle amber, on him. “I don’t know what happened with Ava during class, but I know you didn’t hurt her.”
“I didn’t,” Max said quickly, reaffirming her words. He was out of bed and itching to go. “I don’t know what happened back there, but I didn’t do anything to hurt her.”
I have to save my mate.
A growl ripped out of Max’s throat. He didn’t want to waste any more time. He was out the door as soon as he had boots covering his feet.
“Howl for Derek, Max! He’ll point you in the right direction!” Willow yelled.
Howl. He needed to shift. Max had never shifted on the run before, but there was a first for everything. So much for boots and clothes. The change was seamless, the smoothest shift he had ever had. One minute he was running on two legs, the next he was running on four. He missed the sound of snapping bones entirely. There was nothing but pure energy pumping through his veins. The sky was already darkening, the days growing shorter all the time. The Moon was shining down on him, lighting his path.
He howled when he dashed past the blue spruce tree line and into Blue Forest. It was starting to snow again, but it was light. There weren’t enough clouds in the sky for heavy precipitation. His howl faded from the forest, greeted by silence. He held his ears up, desperate to hear the sound of Derek’s reply. Another impatient howl was about to emerge from his throat when he heard it, Derek’s answering howl. It was soft, distant, but he could bridge that distance in no time.
Max ran faster, bounding gracefully out of the snow with each powerful kick of his legs. He was a large wolf, made even larger because he was a shifter, and he was built for the snow. Arctic.
Max howled once more to let Derek know he was on his way. Ava would know he was coming now, but he didn’t care. She should know because he deserved answers. Most importantly, she needed to know because he was going to save her whether she asked for his help or not.
Shifting wasn’t going well. The she-wolf was fighting her. She didn’t want to help Ava run faster. Ava didn’t think the creature had a mind anymore, and maybe she didn’t, but she was fighting tooth and nail to stay inside of Ava now when all she ever wanted to do before was rip out of her skin.
She was freezing. She would have kept her clothes on if she had known this would happen. Her feet were well passed numb. She didn’t know how she was still upright let alone running. Her fingers were frozen around her phone, her lifeline.
“I don’t want to die here,” Ava said with a whimper. She’d be damned if the feral animal inside of her actually gave a shit, but she was desperate. “I don’t want Max to kill me. Anyone but Max.” Tears fell from her eyes and froze on her cheeks. The only warmth around her was the steamy clouds that expelled from her mouth every time she exhaled, but that heat was quickly fading away, too. Maybe she would freeze to death in the forest.
Ava stopped running. Freezing to death didn’t sound like such a bad idea. It would hurt for a little while, but she was already halfway numb. It wouldn’t hurt for much longer, and then she could drift off into a sleep she’d never wake up from. She was done fighting, done searching for a love and acceptance she would never have.
Then she heard a howl. She didn’t know how she knew, but it was Max. His wolf voice was somehow very similar to his human one, something about the tone, the timbre. Another howl, much closer, answered a moment later. She was being followed, and she had been oblivious. She ghosted a glance behind her and saw a flash of black fur. She stood there waiting for the wolf to fully reveal himself. She’d let this black wolf kill her. Anyone but Max. But the black wolf backed off into the trees. Her vision was better in the dark since taking the broken wolf, but she still saw better in the Moonlight. Because of that, the black wolf all but disappeared into the shadows of trees.
Another howl sounded from the distance.
Ava stood still, frozen. She wanted to collapse onto her knees, but the black wolf was making no move for her. If he wasn’t going to finish her, that meant he was leading the White Wolf to her. Max.
“Shift,” Ava gritted out. She could barely feel anything, but she wasn’t asking anymore. She wasn’t begging. She wasn’t pleading. She was giving a command, and the broken animal inside of her would obey her. Ava found the will, the strength, she needed to regain control. But that didn’t mean the broken wolf would make the shift easy on her.
Screaming, Ava fell to her knees and dropped the one thing she was carrying, the burner phone, as pain exploded all over her body, from the inside out. She dug her bandaged fingers into her skull as her bones popped out of place and started to reshape. The rest of her body followed suit, one broken piece changing at a time. Slowly. So slowly. The bandages fell off her fingers as they morphed into large brown paws, red and swollen at the tips of her toes where her claws stemmed. Her fingers would be even worse when she shifted back again. But she couldn’t think about that now.
Ava looked behind her to make sure she was all wolf. Brown fur, a tail tucked between her legs, standing on all fours, the swish of her ears on top of her head. She took the burner phone carefully in her mouth, ignoring the bite of cold snow on her nose, and took a tentative step forward, but it felt all wrong. She had only been in this body once since she stole this wolf, to make sure she had succeeded. She never learned how to pilot it. Since the shift brought the broken animal to the surface, it made it difficult for her to learn. Each step she took was a fight against the animal’s wild and broken will. Who would have thought a broken piece of a single shifter would give her more trouble than the souls, the entire free will, of over a hundred shifters? It was because they were so intimately combined, she and the broken wolf. That had to be it.
I am in control.
Ava fought through the broken wolf’s protests and began moving faster. This wasn’t so hard. Soon she was running on all four legs like she had been doing this her entire life. Her sense of smell was off the charts now. Mostly the world smelled like decomposed plant matter, cold, dead earth, and the blue spruces. She checked behind her, but she didn’t see the black wolf. She smelled something else though. It was a familiar masculine scent, a hint of cologne, that was slightly different because of all the fur. She saw a flash of white, the burn of orange. The White Wolf was running behind her like in her dreams—except she was a wolf too.
Panicked, she pumped her legs faster. She wasn’t gaining much speed. Either that or Max was damn fast. The anxiety she felt destroyed her composure, and the broken wolf inside of her took advantage. Ava tripped over her rebellious wolf legs and slid face first into the snow. She put her paws out to stop herself, and she managed to, but by then it was already too late. Max hovered over her. She saw his big white head slightly cocked when she turned to look. His orange eyes were piercing, and she had to look away as her ears reflexively flattened against her skull. She whimpered, dropping her burner phone from her mouth and into the snow. She was waiting to hear the snarl on the White Wolf’s lips, but all that greeted her was silence.
Confusion washed over her in a rush as she chanced another look at him. The upper part of her left inner thigh started tingling, the Lunas Sigil on her leg reacting. Max was still hovering over her as she lay in the snow. There was a glint of silver peeking out of his fur. He wasn’t snarling. His eyes weren’t glowing with the promise of death. They were soft somehow, like a real sunset, a slow welcome into night. Now she couldn’t look away.
This was nothing like her dream.
Max blinked slowly. The simple gesture made her relax like Max turned off her anxiety with the flip of a switch. Slowly, gently, he held her gaze as he began to shift. For some reason, she followed him. The sound of their bodies reshaping was muffled by the snow, and all traces of wolf faded away. Human again, Ava lay naked underneath him, her back to his chest, her head turned to look at him because she never took her eyes off him once through the whole transition. Now his eyes were blue. He wasn’t touching her, but he was so close, the heat from his naked skin sinking into hers made her feel like he was. She felt so safe. His warmth eclipsed her fear of him, though a small sliver of it remained buried in her heart.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said simply. There was a small frown on his face. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, and I have no idea why you’re so scared of me, but I just want to help. So do the others. You’re running from something, but you’re safe in Moonwatch.”
Carefully, he moved to stand, making sure not to touch her as he did. Ava blushed when he was upright because she could see everything. Max was much more handsome than she had imagined him. His muscles were huge and defined across his entire body. He could snap her like a twig if he wanted to. The way the shadows played off the ridges of his muscles had her entranced. She had been numb a moment before, but now her core was filling with lava. Her eyes went to his narrow hips and the defined V that led to his half erect cock, thick and long, a perfect match to the rest of his body. She breathed in deep to scent his desire for her. She liked that part about having a wolf inside of her. The smell was intoxicating and even tasted sweet on her tongue.
Max held out his hand to her. She was feeling the cold again, so she took his hand. His comfortable heat dripped into her one drop at a time, clearing away the numbness in her body. What kind of magic did Max have? This had to be magic. He pulled her out of the snow and onto her feet. She trembled as she stood in front of him. Her legs were weak. Heat was pooling in between her thighs and right on her mark.
“What did I do to upset you?” Max asked, earnest. There was hurt in his eyes. They were gentle and pleading. He was kind. She couldn’t picture him ever harming her—but that didn’t make sense. The Moon cursed her, and Max was supposed to be the one to carry out that curse.
Sweet wolf. Soft wolf.
Max watched her for a moment longer, probably waiting for her to say something. When she remained silent, he lifted her hand and studied her ruined fingertips. They were bleeding. “We should get these cleaned up, and you’re freezing.”
He cared. He did. He wouldn’t say things like this. He wouldn’t treat her so gently. He wouldn’t be so warm. This was what she had wanted her whole life, but she never believed she would feel it one day. She had seen it passing by on the streets when she was alone and unwanted, before Beatrice. Last night, today, Max had changed everything. She was disobeying Beatrice. She wanted to turn on her completely and stay in Max’s warmth. Maybe she wouldn’t mind if Max killed her. She would get to experience his warmth until it happened. The Moon was a cruel mastermind.
She was tired. So tired. Ava stopped trying to fight the trembling in her legs and let herself fall forward into Max. He wasn’t ready for her, so he couldn’t hold her at arm’s length. She fell right into his bare chest, and he wrapped his arms around her to steady her. There was something pressing against her cheek as she rested against Max that wasn’t his skin. It was the silver cross he always wore. It was something that didn’t fall off when he shifted. He sure was attached to it. She had never met anyone nice who had anything to do with a church. They were some of the most awful people when it came to her own pain and suffering on the streets, but Max was different.
Until he found out what she was.
She closed her eyes as she felt his skin. She rested her cheek near his heart. Warmth. Warmth all around her like a blanket.
Max’s breath hitched as his fingers pressed into her back. His erection was hard at her stomach. She wondered what it would be like to have him inside of her. He must have thought she was pretty if he reacted this way to her. He, a good and kind man, thought she, the ugliest girl of all, was desirable. She felt like crying.
Ava forced herself to speak. “I am scared, and I am running. For my entire life.” She pushed back from his chest far enough to see his eyes. “If you knew what I was, you wouldn’t be so kind to me. But you won’t have to wait much longer.”
Max furrowed his brow. She wanted to run her fingers along his golden blond eyebrows and straighten them out. “What do you mean?” he asked.
She squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face back into his chest. “I’m okay now. I won’t run away again. Can I still stay with you?”
“You can stay wherever you want.”
He couldn’t know how big of a relief it was to hear him say those words. One thing was for sure, Blue Pack and the Awakened Wolves they cared for in Moonwatch, were genuine—at least with those of their own kind. Why hadn’t she been born a wolf? Why couldn’t this be her life? For some reason the wild animal inside of her was calm, but it was another part of the Moon’s curse.
She wished her Lunas Sigil meant she and Max were Fated Mates like in Nick’s lesson. Max did have a matching mark, didn’t he? She moved away again to take a look at his left thigh, and then to his right. Yes, the mark was there, on his right. It was a mirror image of her own mark. She reached down and brushed her fingers, tracing the half-moon shape.
“God, Ava,” Max pleaded. “I can’t handle you touching me like that.” He grabbed her wrist to stop her, but he kept holding her close. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “Did you learn about Lunas?” he asked, working to steady his voice.
“Yes,” she whispered. “We have a shared Lunas Sigil. Mirror images.” She tried to swallow the dryness in her throat, but it didn’t work. “What does it mean?”
“I… I think it means the Moon picked you for me and me for you.” He placed his hand under her chin, guiding her to look up at him. “You feel it too, don’t you?”
Ava wanted to say yes. It wouldn’t have been a lie, but Max thought she was his Fated Mate, and that wasn’t what the Moon had planned at all.
Her hesitation hurt him. He flinched and looked away from her. “You shouldn’t feel pressured into anything,” he said. “The Moon may have its own ideas, but it’s still your choice. You know?”
Choice. Ava never felt like she had much choice in her life. She never felt like she had any control. Maybe with Max she could. For a little while.
“I want to go home,” she told him. And those words were true. The motel room with Max, anywhere with Max, was where she belonged.
He swept her off her feet and carried her against his chest, taking them back toward Moonwatch. “Home it is.”
Ava wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself into his hard body. She was going to stay as close to him as she could for as long as possible.
“Ah, Max.” Ava was almost forgetting something that she couldn’t afford to forget.
“Hm?”
“Do you see a phone back there in the snow?”
Max backtracked, bent down with her still in his arms, and snatched the phone from the snow. She took it from him as he stood back up.
“Willing to leave everything behind but a phone, huh?” he commented.
She held it to her chest. He’d find out soon enough, but she wasn’t ready to talk now. He’d learn the truth about everything, and then their time would be over.
Just a little longer. That was all she asked.