Hero
I PULLED MY pillow tighter to my chest as the tears still flowed. I was certain I couldn’t cry anymore and then BAM more came out of nowhere. I needed to be over Ranger Bronson, but my heart couldn’t let go. He said he wrote back every time I wrote him. He had to have been telling the truth because he wouldn’t have sworn on Grammy’s grave. I knew she meant a lot to him and he wasn’t one to just throw around those words. But why had I only received a few of the letters he claimed to write me? Could they really have gotten lost in the mail? Was that even possible? No…it wasn’t possible – he had to be lying.
I made myself get up out of bed and go down to the kitchen. I had skipped dinner because my emotions were making sure I didn’t leave the bed. I flipped the kitchen light on and saw a note from Grammy on the counter. She went to help out one of her church lady friends who recently broke her hip and she would be gone all night. Wallace, Bryson, and Gramps left after dinner to sell off some of the cattle. I was alone in the house and thankful for it. My family has been dealing with me a lot lately and I was certain they were sick of it. I was sick of hearing it, but I didn’t know what else to do. My heart belonged to Ranger, but he wouldn’t reciprocate.
I filled a glass with water and listened to the whipping rain outside. It was going to be a muddy mess in the morning...well, in a few hours...when I have to feed the animals.
“It’s going to be a long day.” I sighed.
My alarm went off way too early. Certainly my eyes were going to be bloodshot and puffy. Not to mention the dark circles I’ll be toting all day. Of course the animals wouldn’t care as long as I fed and watered them.
I slipped on my extra tall rain boots and added a sweatshirt to my morning outfit. I could feel the coldness seeping through the windows.
I decided the few head of cattle we had left should be fed first. Taking the horses out there with would be a muddy nightmare later and I didn’t want to add more chores to my list today since I was going to be alone doing them.
I used the four-wheeler to ride out to the back forty and was thankful I didn’t bring the horses. As I approached the gate I noticed something was off. Normally, the cattle would be closer and ready for their food, but now all I saw…
“Oh no.” I gasped and jumped off the four-wheeler. I stared in disbelief as a large portion of the fence was knocked over. Was it from the wind? Where were the cattle? “Oh my God.”
There was no way I could fix this on my own. I looked all around me for the animals and for someone to magically appear to help. But there was nothing in sight and I had no one to call.
Ranger.
My heart twisted thinking of his name. My lips were still on fire from our kiss. I had wanted him to kiss me for the longest time, but not in the manner he did. I needed my Ranger back. The kind, joking, and loving man I remember. Not this person he’s become. I understand people change, especially those who go off to war. Deep down, I loved him and I wanted my old Ranger back. I had to be the one to remind him who he was.
I pulled my cell phone out of my back pocket and called him.
“Hero?” He sounded almost out of breath.
Was he with someone?
“Hero, are you okay?”
I shook my head and focused on the task at hand. “The wind knocked down the fence.” I couldn’t bear to say I needed his help.
“I’ll be over in ten.” He ended the call.
I surveyed the damage and realized I’d need some supplies. I hopped back on the four-wheeler and drove like a bat out of hell to the shed. Gramps kept spare wood pieces and tools in there. I gathered everything and tied it down. As I was about to head off, I heard Ranger’s truck pulling up. He waved at me and I drove over to him.
“Let me drive,” he said firmly.
Without hesitation, I moved back enough for him to climb on. Memories of when we were kids flashed through my mind. Ranger and me on one and Garrison on the other. We’d race around the empty fields. I could still hear our laughter and taunting of each other. It was amazing we were never seriously hurt.
The muddy ground made it hard for me to hold onto anything but Ranger. I didn’t want too, but I held tight to his waist. He still smelled like him. The mixture of sandalwood and fresh cut grass. It matched him. I inhaled him and it took me back to our first kiss. It was quick but memorable.
It was our first date. Ranger didn’t go all out like boys do. He didn’t need to impress me. Heck, I’d been in love with him since we were little. I just wanted us to be alone for once.
He’d brought me out to his place and planned a nighttime picnic.
It was perfect. And it was there, under the moon and stars that he became my whole universe. His lips were gentle and whispered across mine. It would be the first kiss of many that we shared.
“The cattle are gone.” I told him as we stopped by the fence.
“I’m sure they’re just on the other side. We’ll find them.”
“Great.” I rolled my eyes.
“Look, I’m here to help you. I’m sure the cattle are fine.” He pulled a pair of gloves out of his back pocket.
“It’s simple for you to say.” I grumbled as I opened the small tool chest with nails and hammers. “That’s our money.”
He stopped for a second. “Where’s everyone else?”
“Selling some of the cows.” I stomped over to the first fence post, being sure to kick mud around him. He just had on his cowboy boots.
His shoulders deflated. “We’ll find them. Let’s get this fixed.”
I nodded handing him a hammer. For the next couple hours, together, we mended the fence. It wasn’t the greatest job, but it held. We locked up the gate and began to walk the pasture and tried to find the cattle. As we strolled silently, Garrison’s voice filled my head. He constantly told me I had to be happy and live my life. I couldn’t without Ranger, and I’m not sure if I ever would be able to move on.
“Look.” He pulled on my arm and stopped me in my tracks. “There.” He pointed to the left. “Told you so.”
There, in the furthest point of the field, the cattle were grazing happily, without a care in the world. The smaller calves running and hopping with joy. I watched them intently wishing for the carefree existence. I had those feelings once before but not anymore.
“Don’t you just hate it when I’m right.” He bumps my shoulder.
“Yes.” I spun around and stormed off toward the gate.
“I came to help you and now you’re mad at me?” he shouted.
I was mad at myself, not him, but he’s going to feel the brunt of it. I scooped up some mud in my hands and with all my might flung it at him. My intentions were to hit his boots or lower legs, but Grammy taught me how to aim and it landed right in the middle of his chest.
“Are you kidding me?” He grunted.
The laughter bubbled up from the pit of my stomach and kept coming until I leaned over grasping my side.
“You think this is funny?” I heard him say and then a slap came against my side.
I looked down and saw a massive blob of mud on the side of my sweatshirt. “What?” I gasped and glared at him.
“Aw, did the little princess get dirty?” He singsongs his words.
He knew how much I hated to be called princess. Wallace and Bryson would call me that to make me mad when we were fighting. The word reminded me of my parents. I didn’t have many memories of them but there were a few that stood out. The day I received Donut, a Christmas celebration when I got a pair of pink cowboy boots, and the night I heard the doorbell. The police were outside and Grammy was crying. They came to inform them about my parents’ accident.
I shoved him with all the strength I had. He barely moved. “Don’t call me princess.” I hissed at him.
“Then don’t sling mud if you can’t handle it being thrown back.” He gritted.
“I can handle anything you sling, soldier. I’m much stronger than I look.” I gathered another handful of mud and tossed it at him.
He dodged my throw but grabbed some of his own and hit my shoulder as I turned away. Then the mud began to fly everywhere. It was in my hair, all over my clothes, and it almost hit my face. I began to run away but he tackled me causing us both to hit the ground. I rolled, or at least tried, to get him off me. Every move he was able to counter it until pinning me to the ground. He wrapped his hands tightly around my wrist.
His green eyes lit up with delight. The way they used to when he looked at me. When he was my Ranger. My breath caught in my throat, thinking he would kiss me again.
“Get off me.” I bucked my hips. “Get off me, Ranger.”
His eyes lost the spark and he released me. “You always hated fun.” He rolled off me and stood up.
“I don’t hate fun. I hate you.” The words tasted like poison in my mouth knowing it was a lie.
“Really? Pretty sure you were the one who was off having a life when I left. Hard to hate me when you didn’t care.”
“How dare you?” I lunged for him, but he held me in place. “You know my feelings were true. Unlike you, I can’t just turn them off.”
“I guess your feelings ran deep for a lot of people then.”
If I had the ability to I would have punched him square in the jaw. “Get off my property.”
“Gladly.” He let me go and bolted away from me.
This time there were no tears – only anger.