Chapter Four

 

I had no sooner emailed Ellie back and relaxed into my pillows with my book, when there was a knock on the door. I glanced at the clock and saw it was a little after nine, which seemed unusual.

“Hang on,” I called, as I swung my legs over the pillows carefully and grabbed my crutches. I hobbled to the door and peeked out, resting my forehead on the wood when I saw who it was.

“I know you’re in there, Rose,” he said through the door. “Open up, I brought a surprise.”

I sighed and unlocked the door, throwing it open wide to face him. “Hi, Sawyer. It’s late,” I said as way of greeting.

“I know it’s late, but I brought,” he whipped his arm out from behind his back, “champagne! We need to celebrate.”

He bent down and picked up a box from the floor then strode past me as if he’d been invited. I closed the door and reset the alarm, though I figured it useless considering I just let the most dangerous guy in the hotel into my apartment. Dangerous to my heart, at least. He was on a mission to make me like him. It was too late; I liked him, but I couldn’t take it any further than like.

He was at the kitchen counter taking things out of the box and arranging them on the table. “I brought leftover fish tacos,” he said and I made a gagging sound. He put his hand on his hip. “Whatever Miss Mahi-Mahi. I want you to try them at least. If they’re a no go, I brought chicken tacos, too.”

I had to admit the food smelled good. “I already ate with Kate and Gideon, remember?”

He nodded as he set two wine glasses on the table. “I remember, but you need a snack before bed, and it’s wise to eat when you’re drinking.”

Without thinking I set my hand on his shoulder. “It’s really sweet of you to bring all of this, but I shouldn’t mix alcohol with my medication, Sawyer.”

He paused and looked at my hand on his shoulder, which I immediately dropped to my side. “You were drinking wine at the bar,” he pointed out.

I rubbed my temple. “I was, but I needed some liquid courage before I talked to Gideon.”

He held up the small bottle. “Then one small glass of champagne to celebrate your new job won’t hurt either. It’s also why I brought food. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, Rose.”

I leaned heavily on my crutches and held his gaze. “Why do you call me Rose instead of Rosie like everyone else?” I asked.

He set the bottle down and approached me, holding my shoulders as he gazed into my eyes. “For that very reason. Everyone calls you Rosie, but when I see you walking toward me, you’re as beautiful as a rose. One day, I’d like to see you blossom and share your beauty with the world. Right now, you’re closed up like a rosebud. You’re not ready to show everyone who you are and what you can do. I want to be the one to give you the confidence to be yourself and take control of your life again.”

I struggled to find words and make my lips form them. “You—you think I’m beautiful?” I whisper-asked, my knees weaker than usual.

His hands moved to my face and he grasped my cheeks, his warmth soothing me as I gazed into his entrancing blue eyes. “Oh, sweetheart, you caught my eye the first time I saw you and I can’t get you out of my head,” he whispered.

His lips lowered to mine and he rested them there. He gauged my reaction, and when I didn’t push him away he angled his head, digging in deeper for a kiss that convinced my lips to fall open. I waited for him to take advantage, but he didn’t. Instead, he ended the kiss, lifted his lips to my forehead and kissed me there, leaving them to rest against my flushed skin.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first day I met you. I’m sorry if I was out of line, but I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed your lips on mine.”

I was finally able to pull air into my lungs before I spoke. “You didn’t like kissing me or you would have gone for more,” I pointed out.

He moaned softly and lowered his head to make eye contact. “Just the opposite is true. I enjoyed kissing you so much I forced myself not to take it any further. It’s not my intention to scare you or push you too far, too fast. I can tell you’ve been hurt, both physically and emotionally. Maybe I don’t know how or by who, but I want to be the man to heal you, slowly. I’m a patient man. I’ve waited to have all your attention for the last six months. I can afford to take things slowly now that I have it. I do have it, right?”

As much as I hated to admit it, he did. I nodded slowly, his hands still holding my face. “I’m not happy my heart isn’t listening to my brain, but it’s not. My brain isn’t ready to be involved with someone again, but I can’t seem to resist you.”

He smiled and caressed my cheek with his thumb. “The way I see it, you’re ready to be involved with someone who won’t hurt you, scare you, or ask more of you than you can give, right?”

I nodded and shrugged at the same time. “It’s a big order to fill. I’m better off alone right now, Sawyer. My leg is bad. Like wheelchair bad. I’m not dragging anyone else down in my own rendition of the Titanic.”

He grasped my face tighter and held me nose-to-nose. “Stop. Right now, stop pretending you can do this alone. You can’t do this alone. Everyone in this hotel would do anything to help you, but you have to start trusting people. Personally, I don’t care if your leg is bad. I don’t care if you use crutches or a wheelchair. Your leg is the least important part about you. Is it inconvenient for you? Yes. Is it painful for you? After last night, I know the answer is yes. Is it scary? I can’t even imagine how scared you must be all the time. Give us, give me, a chance to help you walk this rocky path you’re on until you get to level ground. Okay? That’s all I’m asking for. A chance to prove I’m not like the guy who hurt you.”

I snapped my head up and almost broke his nose. I rubbed my temple as my breathing picked up and I fell to a sitting position on the bed. “How do you know a guy hurt me?” I asked, my voice shaking. “Did you talk to Kate?”

He took my crutches and laid them aside. “I didn’t talk to Kate, but I don’t need it spelled out for me, Rose. There’s a look of fear in your eyes every time I get within a foot of you. It’s like a punch to the gut because I wouldn’t hurt you, but you can’t trust me not to. It’s obvious another man did this to you. It’s all I can do not to find him, and kill him. I want you to know I would never hurt you, Rose. I pray every night there will come a time when I gaze into your eyes and there’s no fear there. You need someone to lean on when you’re going through this. I know you have Kate and Gideon, but I hope, no I pray, I fit in the picture somewhere. Even if all I get to do is bring you healthy, life giving food to strengthen your body, then I’ll be happy with my role, as long as you’re feeling better.” He reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “Can you accept those conditions?”

I raised my head from where I stared at the floor to meet his eyes. “You’re right, I am scared. Petrified, actually. The last man I trusted almost took my life. I know you’re not like him. I know how much Kate and Gideon trust you, but I’m still scared.”

He smiled and rubbed my shoulder. “It’s not me; it’s you, right?” I shrugged in answer because I wasn’t trying to be secretive, but I couldn’t tell him everything. “I didn’t mean it in a negative way. I mean I understand you’re scared of everything right now, not just me.”

I rubbed my forehead. “I don’t like to admit it, but yes. I need time.”

“You can have all the time in the world, beautiful,” he promised. “I also think you need a hug. Am I right?”

I raised my arms and threw them around his neck, his arms coming around my back as he rested his head on mine. We didn’t speak, but we held each other with a new understanding of what we each wanted out of whatever this was.

“I wish like hell I could take your pain away, Rose, but I can’t. I promise you tonight, I’ll be here to hug you, distract you, feed you, or make you laugh whenever you need it. Do you believe me?”

I nodded and he lowered his arms, kissing my cheek before he stood. “Good, because I have some tacos getting cold. Let me pop them in the microwave and heat them up, then we’re celebrating!”

He swiveled to the counter and opened my microwave, but I remained on the bed waging a war in my heart, and in my mind, I wasn’t sure could ever be won.

 

 

I laid my fork down and leaned back in my chair, my stomach full. I kept my eyes focused on him, learning his little idiosyncrasies. The way he hummed a little with each bite as if he found food to be a truly life-changing experience. The way he used a fork instead of his hands to eat tacos, after he broke up the shell. The way he kept his plate neat, as though the habit of keeping the kitchen in order was impossible to break.

“You can say it,” I said, when he finished his last bite of taco.

“Say what?” he asked, laying his napkin on the table.

“I told you so.”

He laughed, deeply amused by my answer. “Rose, I’m the head chef at a five-star restaurant. I don’t need to say I told you so. The only satisfaction I need is what I get from watching you clean your plate of my icky fish tacos. Nothing else matters to me.” I tipped my head to give him the point as he cleaned up the plates, and stacked them on the counter. “Now then, it’s time to break open the bubbly and celebrate!”

He lifted the bottle out of the sink where he had it sitting in cold water while we ate. I stuck my fingers in my ears and he paused, his eyes focused on me, but an amused expression on his face. “What are you doing?”

“I’m waiting for you to open the bottle. I don’t like it when it pops, it scares me every time,” I explained.

He motioned for me to take my hands down. “You’ve clearly been hanging out with people who don’t know how to open champagne bottles.” He held it up. “A bottle of champagne has three times more pressure than a car tire, which is why there’s a metal cage around the cork. How do most people open champagne,” he asked as he took the top seal off, holding onto the metal cage.

“They twist the cork until it pops off and champagne goes everywhere.”

He held up a finger off the cage. “Exactly, but I don’t think you want champagne all over your kitchen, do you?” I shook my head no. “I didn’t think so.” He removed the wire cage and I scooted backwards unconsciously. “What you do is twist the bottle while holding the cork. Then you don’t get the pop because the air escapes slowly,” he explained, twisting the bottle. Sure enough, the cork came out in his hand and the air vapors escaped into the air. “Voila.”

I clapped a couple times. “I’ll have to remember for next time.”

He poured two glasses and handed me one, clinking mine as soon as I took it. “To Rose, may the new job be everything you hope for, and may it be a new beginning for your life as well.”

I held up my glass and took a sip. “Mmmm, so tasty,” I said. “The bubbles didn’t tickle my nose either. Does the wine glass prevent it from happening?”

He sat next to me and leaned forward. “This isn’t a wine glass. It’s a Reidel Veritas Champagne glass. They’re made to give the champagne room to breathe while still trapping the flavor.”

I took another sip. “You know a lot about champagne.”

He shrugged. “Comes with the job. I have to give the bar manager a list of wines and champagnes to pair with each dish.”

“Huh, I had no idea that was a thing,” I admitted.

“Definitely a thing in a restaurant like Kupid’s Table. From what I hear, we’ll be working together a lot more now.”

I lowered my glass to the table and leaned in. “Where did you hear that? And how did you know about my new position?”

“I talked to Kate and Gideon after my shift. They told me they’ll be deciding in a few days what direction to go with, regarding the center. Once they’ve decided on where it will be, they’re giving it to you to run with. You’ll need my help with kitchen planning and menu planning.”

“I will, but it will be weeks before we come up with a solid plan, most likely. If you’re too busy, I can always work with one of the other chefs. I know you’re always slammed with your own work.”

He set the glass down harder than necessary. “Like hell you will. I’ll find the time. I don’t start cooking until noon anyway. We can meet early in the morning once you’re not in the daycare center anymore. We’ll make it work.”

I twirled the glass by the stem, avoiding sipping too much of it considering how late it was. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to work with me on this. You’re an executive chef of an award-winning restaurant. There are more important things than feeding children macaroni and cheese and apple slices.”

He folded his arms over his chest. “There are? Tell me what’s more important than feeding children.”

I was flustered by his question. I rubbed my temple and couldn’t come up with an answer. I stood and picked up my crutches. “I’m tired and not thinking clearly. Maybe you should go,” I said as I sat on my bed. I laid the crutches down and swung my legs over the pillows, being careful of the left one as I situated myself.

He kicked the chair back and stalked to the bed, sitting by my knees. “I wasn’t trying to upset you, Rose. I wanted your insight into what you thought was more important. In my opinion, without kids I don’t have a job.”

I rested my hand under my cheek. “I don’t understand.”

“We are kids before we become adults. It’s my job to teach kids early on how to eat food that’s good for them, but also tastes amazing. It’s my job to teach them to try new foods and keep their palate open to new experiences.”

“Hmmm, you’re right. I never considered kid’s palates as canvases before, but I guess in a way they are.”

He rested his hand on my leg and rubbed it up and down carefully, but when I grimaced he stopped. “Did I hurt you?”

I closed my eyes when I swallowed. “The nerves are still a bit aggravated.”

“Enough said,” he promised. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

I opened my eyes and gazed into his. “What you said earlier at the bar,” I started and he cocked his head. “About Kate knowing me before I got here.”

“Oh. It was only a thought. You don’t have to explain anything,” he said, smiling and taking my other hand. “I wasn’t trying to pry into your life.”

“I know, but I talked to Kate tonight and she thinks since we’ll be working together I should tell you the truth. If you did a search on Kate the truth would probably pop up anyway, so I’d rather you hear it from me.”

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. “Only if you want to. I’m not going to go Googling anyone.”

I sighed. He was giving me a way out, but I knew I couldn’t accept it. Telling him was the smart, and right, thing to do. Pretending to be someone else can be exhausting when you’re working closely with someone, and I would be working with him a lot.

“I used to work for Kate’s law firm in Snowberry. I was her secretary. Kate, Winifred, and I became good friends when my mother was a victim of a bad car accident. Winifred paid for my mother’s care at home, and Kate gave me the time off I needed to take care of her. She also took the other driver to court and helped get my parents a large settlement.”

He squeezed the hand he still held. “Thanks for telling me. I can see the history you have with them when you’re together, but I didn’t want to stick my nose in where it didn’t belong. How’s your mother now?”

I smiled, thankful he asked me about my mother and not about what brought me here. “She’s healed and living in Miami with my dad. The accident left her with arthritis in several of her joints and she couldn’t handle the cold of Snowberry any longer. They plan to come here sometime in the next few months.”

“Good to hear. I’ll look forward to meeting them. I can’t wait to tell them I got their daughter to eat fish, twice. Who knows, by the time they get here, you might like all kinds of seafood.”

I laughed softly and rolled my eyes. “You’re gloating. What happened to you didn’t have to be right?”

He laughed and leaned down, kissing my cheek. “I don’t have to be right, but I’ll still enjoy telling them about my accomplishments.” He winked and I blushed, my cheek warm on my hand. “Now then, I appear to be boring you to death, since your eyes keep closing. I’ll clean up and let you get some rest. We can talk shop once you’ve got replacements for the center and you’re squared away in your office. Okay?”

I took his hand, the smile lazy on my face. “I didn’t think about having my own office. Do you have an office?”

He stroked my hair a few times as my eyes grew heavy. “I do, it’s between the grill and the ovens. Sleep now, I’ll let myself out.”

He kissed my cheek again, then my forehead where his lips lingered. I wanted to stay awake and keep talking to him, but the medication and good food were too much for me. I snuggled down under the blanket he put over me and heard him clanking around in the kitchen, but nothing more once the darkness claimed me.