Chapter 22
The scent of cinnamon wafted through the Ferris house as Jenna sat in the living room with her feet perched on the coffee table and a plate of cookies resting on her budding baby bump. Her dad would smile every time he walked by, simply happy to have her home. If it were up to him, she’d quit school and move back to Doveport forever. It was a 180-degree turnaround from his summer rants a few months ago.
He was rushing around the house getting ready to head into The Wheel for the night. Jenna wanted to simply snuggle with him on the couch, drink some white hot chocolate from Mr. Donner’s and watch old movies on TV.
She feigned the whiniest voice she could muster. “Come on, Daddy, just put a sign on the door and tell them you’ll be back January 2nd.”
He bent down and kissed her on the forehead. “Now don’t be that way. I’ve been slaving away at the bar trying to stop the wannabe librarians and cobwebs from coming back. The least you can do is not make me feel guilty about it. And go upstairs to take a look at the work and let me know your choices for the floor and everything else the contractor left a sticky note on. We want to be sure all of this is ready come March.”
“I don’t want to do that. You bulldozed my room and yours, not to mention that loft space in the garage. It’s all too much, Daddy, and if you say you got that money from You-Know-Who I’ll never talk to you again!”
“I didn’t. Now relax, but go look at the sticky notes,” he told her again.
“I wanted to spend tonight with you! Forget it, I’m coming to work then.”
“Sit down, no you’re not!” he laughed.
“You can’t tell a pregnant woman no. It’s bad luck, Daddy,” she said with her hands on her hips.
“Fine, hurry up and get ready, but you’d better have a decision for Mark by tomorrow. I want this room done and over with before Christmas. It’s almost winter, and the longer we wait the longer it will take to get supplies and orders in. I don’t want there to be eight feet of snow on the ground while they’re trying to deliver changing tables and flooring.”
Jenna waved away her father’s chatter about design decisions as she grabbed her coat and threw some heavy boots on. Christmas was her favorite time of year, and she glowed under the lights of the tree and the festive decorations that hung around the living room. She snuggled in close to him as they made their way through the snowy Doveport streets to open up the bar for the night.
She volunteered to work the register while Paul sat at a table watching a TV that was installed in the corner. There weren’t a lot of people, but that was to be expected on a Wednesday night the week after Thanksgiving. She’d negotiated to take her finals early so she wouldn’t have to burn two weeks at school slaving away in the computer lab with the rest of the anxious, homesick students.
The quiet time at the bar was nice, as it gave her an opportunity to do some planning for the holiday party. It was going to be the week before Christmas and the last party before New Year’s Eve. In fact, her father had told her that if they pulled in enough money from the first event, he’d celebrate New Year’s at home with her and Hannah, drinking sparkling apple cider and watching Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. She was looking forward to that more than anything else.
The thought prompted her to send Hannah a text inviting her over to The Wheel. Having been cocooned in the house, she hadn’t seen her friend since she’d been back, and this would be a good chance to catch up in person. Hannah texted back right away: Be there in 15. Got news!
As Hannah walked up to the bar, Jenna tried to read her expression. She seemed pleased with herself but at the same time slightly nervous, as if she relished the thought of delivering her scoop but wasn’t sure how it would go over.
Jenna hazarded a guess. “Don’t tell me you’re pregnant too!” she giggled.
The joke fell flat as Hannah looked back at her sternly. “No chance of that, but we’re here to talk about your love life, not mine.”
“We are? And what love life?”
“The one with Tanner. Brandy’s gone for good. She moved out of Doveport with that hipster guy the day after Thanksgiving. I’m not exactly sure where they went, but it was out of state. I just found out today from Gary.”
Jenna was stunned. She’d assumed that, with her out of the picture, Tanner and Brandy had been enjoying an ‘on’ phase of their on again, off again relationship. But Brandy had obviously moved on, and Jenna couldn’t believe she would have done that unless Tanner had first.
“Why, is Tanner seeing someone else?”
“No! Gary said he’s just been working himself to death, taking extra shifts whenever he can get them, and not talking to anyone about anything except the job. Said he was getting kind of worried about him, actually. Jenna, he’s probably heartbroken over you. You have to tell him now!”
As if on cue, the door opened and Tanner walked into The Wheel.
“Um, I didn’t mean like now now, but—ooh, this is so exciting!” Hannah whispered gleefully as she backed off to give the pair some privacy.
Jenna didn’t dare move out from behind the bar as Tanner approached her with a scowl on his face. “So you’re back? Why do I have to find out like this? Well, I guess it figures. You left without saying goodbye, why would you tell me you’re back? Anyway, it doesn’t matter.” He produced an envelope from his coat pocket. “I just came in to give this to your dad, but since you’re here I’ll give it to you.”
Slapping the envelope on the bar, Tanner turned on his heel and walked straight back to the door.
“Tanner, wait—”
The only response was a blast of snow and the bang of the door as Tanner walked out of The Wheel for what looked certain to be the last time.
Hannah had watched the scene unfold in silence, her face falling as she realized that the storybook reconciliation she’d hoped for wasn’t in the cards. Now she stood up and approached her friend with her arms open, pulling her in for a hug. “Jenna, I’m so sorry. Are you going to read that letter or what?”
Jenna sighed. “I want to read it later. If it’s anything like my mother’s letters I don’t have the energy for my ugly cry face.”
“Okay then, what else do you want to do?”
“I’m pregnant and I don’t drink, Hannah,” Jenna said matter-of-factly. “I want to eat.”
“Let me see what I can find in the kitchen.”
As the kitchen door swung closed behind Hannah, the front door swung open again. Jenna thought it would be Tanner, back for another round of yelling, but it turned out to be someone she wanted to see even less. A familiar face still, that broken nose unmistakable. Jenna wished she’d never come into work with her dad for the night.
Sean Hannity walked around The Wheel with a giant smile. Paul was the first one to greet him, leaning over the bar to shake his hand. Grabbing an envelope, he handed it to Mr. Hannity with a smile. Jenna was so mad she was shaking. Her heart felt like it had risen to settle inside her throat. Her eyes welled, but she refused to let tears fall. Anger radiated from every pore of her body, and she couldn’t wait for Mr. Hannity to leave so she could unleash her fury.
“You are looking very well, very healthy these days,” Mr. Hannity said to Jenna with chuckle.
“Please, just take it and go,” Paul told him with a slight nod to the door.
“I don’t want to start any trouble,” the gangster smiled, “I’m just here to collect what’s mine. See you next week, Paul. Nice doing business with ya.”
And just as quickly as he’d come in, he walked out. Jenna was certain that smoke was billowing out from her ears. “Are you nuts?!?” she cried out.
Paul grabbed her by the arm and pulled her toward the office. Once they were inside, he closed the door behind them. “I’m not back in business with Hannity. I’m doing a favor for a friend, and that’s all I can say about it right now. Please understand that I know what I’m doing. Trust me, okay? There’s no way in hell that I’d let us work as hard as we did to pay it all off just to go back under.”
Jenna forced herself to take a few deep breaths. She nodded. “Okay, but please don’t lie to me. I’m going to tru—”
That was when the layout of the office caught her attention. It was rare that she went back there. What was even rarer was when her father implemented change, especially when it came to her mother’s belongings. Her desk was gone.
“Where’s Mom’s desk and all of her things?” she said, clutching her chest.
“I’ve been doing some cleaning. I decided that your Mom’s stuff, the big items, could be used elsewhere instead of just sitting here like an exhibit in a wax museum.”
“Elsewhere like where?!?” she questioned, fanning herself to prevent the oncoming panic attack.
“Like your new office at the house,” he said.
“What?”
“It was supposed to be a surprise. I guess it was; you look like you’re about to go into early labor. I took the desk and your mother’s furniture and put it in the house. I keep telling you to answer the sticky note questions, because once you pick the colors they’re going to paint and refurbish the old stuff to make it like new but with a piece of your own history attached to it. I wanted to have it done by Christmas, but you’re so doggone stubborn it’s probably going to have to be a late Valentine’s Day gift,” he laughed.
“Aw, Daddy! That sounds like a great Christmas present!” she cried and rushed into his arms, hugging him tight. Even though she was a few months away from becoming a single mother, even though she’d made a complete mess of things with Tanner, even though she was worried about Hannity—she knew she had at least one person she could count on for Christmas and for always.
Later that night, as Jenna got herself ready for bed, she left Tanner’s letter on top of the blanket as a reminder to read it before she dozed off. Cracking it open, she got a whiff of his scent, and it made her heart swell. She missed him so much now, but his letter shredded any hope she had of seeing him again:
Jenna Marie Ferris,
I don’t know what I did to you, but whatever it was, I’m sorry. I don’t like apologizing for stuff in writing, but you’ve given me no other option. I feel like you’re hiding something from me, and the way we feel about each other, the least you could do is be honest. When I knew we were going to lose touch, I told you and I told you why. I always hoped that you’d show me the same respect I’ve given you.
If you had another guy waiting for you, then you should have told me. I don’t want to find out when you come home for Christmas and you’re engaged or something like that. I just needed some answers. I think that for all we’ve been through, I deserved that much, right?
I just wish I knew what I did or didn’t do. When you said you weren’t coming back to Doveport, I knew you were serious. But you neglected to mention that you were cutting me off, or why. I put up with Brandy’s drama for far too long, but at least I finally learned my lesson. I’m not going to put up with yours for another minute. We’re done.
Goodbye, Jenna Marie Ferris.
Love always,
Tanner D.
That night, Jenna cried herself to sleep wondering what Tanner would think of her once he found out why she had stopped talking to him. She didn’t deserve him. She didn’t deserve the way he loved her—or had loved her.