Grandpa’s Hot Chocolate
Ingredients:
About 4oz bittersweet chocolate (Perugina or Lindt 70% cocoa)
2 tbsps cornstarch
1½ cup milk
½ can condensed milk
1 tbsp vanilla (Eyeball it; I’m sure Grandpa uses a dash more)
Ladyfingers
What to do:
Stir all ingredients except the ladyfingers together over medium heat until it becomes thick.
Serve nice and hot.
Probably don’t need biscotti with it as it’s quite sweet but as Grandpa says, ‘A biscotti or two won’t hurt.’
The moonlight cast a sublime glow across the sea below it. Once again a stillness descended on the Amalfi Coast. Nowhere in the world could you hear your own thoughts or feel the power of your existence like you could in Orzoro. Standing at the top of this mountain with nothing but sky and sea around her Sabrina thought of how love brought them here, of how the love she felt for her grandpa and her family felt as powerful as the view she was looking out to. Its magnitude was breathtaking and the strength of the love in her heart often took her breath away.
Staring at the creamy pizza pie in the sky, Sabrina thought of their grandpa and how she missed him so. ‘Well, it’s not exactly how I envisioned coming back to Italy would be after all these years,’ Sabrina professed.
‘I guess you truly never really know what the future holds, do you? Grandpa always told us that – and that we must live each day to its fullest, thankful for the moments and memories it provides. I think I may have lost sight of that a little bit since attempting uni. You were right, Brina, I didn’t enjoy being a receptionist. I stopped believing in my dreams. Italy has given me a new life at a time I needed it most,’ Louisa said.
The three of them were sat on the balcony staring out in the same direction, the moon bright and full, reflecting in the deep blue of the sea. Louisa’s words comforted Sabrina. Not just her acknowledging their argument a mere few weeks ago, but in that her baby sister was listening to her advice.
‘God, it’s going to be tough being away from you all again. I don’t even want to think about it,’ Sabrina said, pulling her red zigzagged collar tighter around her neck. ‘But at least it won’t be too long this time,’ she added airily, scooping up a plump marshmallow from her mug and popping it whole in her mouth.
‘What do you mean?’ Amanda asked, turning to look at her and choking on her hot chocolate.
‘I’m coming home,’ Sabrina said, smiling. She turned to look at her sisters. Both Amanda and Louisa’s eyes glistened in the beige moonlight, their pupils dilated and twinkling under the fluorescent glow.
‘Are you being serious?’ Louisa said, not taking her eyes off her.
‘Yes, I mean it won’t be right away. I think at least two to three months while I get everything sorted with the apartment and tie up all the loose ends with the boys. There’s a few gigs I want to put together for them in the US before I leave. But yes, I discussed it a little with Levi this evening and he doesn’t see why I can’t base myself in Manchester. Plus he knows we have quite the respectable music scene, so he thinks it will be good for the band,’ Sabrina explained, playing with the second marshmallow that was swimming atop her hot chocolate.
‘That’s amazing news, Brina,’ Amanda said. ‘Are you happy to be coming home?’
Sabrina shuffled in her chair so she was no longer twisted, but instead facing Amanda and Louisa.
‘Of course I am, I wouldn’t have said it otherwise. California isn’t really for me – all that talk of yoga and smoothies; a girl needs her fish and chips every now and again. And in light of everything that’s happened, I want to be closer to you all and spend more time with Mum and Dad and Nanna,’ she replied, holding her head up, determined not to cry and instead thinking of the positives to moving home now.
Grandpa had been proud of her and her job. He wasn’t mad at her for being away and he would be happy that she was going home now to spend time with the family. She fought with the anger that bubbled inside her – he was supposed to be there too when she finally moved back. She tried to dispel those negative emotions. It would not do well to dwell on the past. Besides it was now that mattered – the minutes in front of her. Her grandpa would always be with her. She needed to keep living and make him proud. Italy had given her that time for pause and she knew she was making the right decision.
‘About that, I’m super happy that you are moving home but I was thinking … Do you think we should suggest to Mum that Nanna stay here?’ Louisa asked, twiddling her thumbs together around her mug.
‘But we’d miss her. She can’t stay,’ Amanda said quickly, causing a silence to wash over the girls. They sat in this silence for a minute, staring out across the water. Occasionally a car could be heard on the roads miles below them, the engines wheezing up the steep paths or the horn sending out a warning to cars coming round the bends. ‘I’m sorry, that was selfish of me,’ Amanda continued, with a heavy sigh. ‘You’re right, she’s been so happy with her sisters. Two and a half weeks is hardly enough time to catch up on the last twenty years. It would break my heart to separate them again now.’
‘That’s what I was thinking, Amanda. I know you’d miss her, but well, I thought I might stay here for a little while too. I know fashion week isn’t until next year, but I feel content here and there’s so much of Italy I want to see. Giulia’s shop is gorgeous and she says I can work there; plus she says I can go home whenever I need to as I can sketch from home too, so it wouldn’t be too much of an interruption. It would be nice to get my bearings here and get some inspiration. And that way if Nanna does want to go back to England after a few months, I can bring her back. And if she does stay, we know she’ll be happy: she has me and it’s not too far for you to travel,’ Louisa said, with optimism in her voice, though she was looking at the floor.
‘Hey, I think that’s a wonderful idea for Nanna, but are you sure about staying?’ Sabrina asked. Amanda took in Louisa and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. She didn’t want to cry. She felt so proud of her baby sister for being brave and saying yes to such a wonderful opportunity, even when it meant completely shattering her comfort bubble. Italy wasn’t too far away and besides she would need to visit more to visit Grandpa and pick up produce. She smiled and listened to Louisa.
‘Yes, I’ve been thinking a lot and we have so much history here. I want to see it all, learn more about where Nanna and Grandpa came from. I think it will do me some good. Plus, now with this incredible opportunity I think it’s the best place for me to start drawing again. Italian fashion inspires me like nothing else and Giulia is like a goddess; so really, this is the perfect place for me to be. I can work with her at the boutique and get a feel of her style, all before fashion week is upon us. It’s exciting,’ Louisa said, holding her head high with a clear determination in her eyes, as though if she said the words aloud and repeated them a few times she would start to believe in herself and be one hundred per cent confident in her huge decision. ‘And, that way I can spend more time with Luca and see how long this holiday romance lasts,’ she then added with a chuckle.
‘That will be amazing, Lou – I’m so happy for you. And you do know you are capable of anything. You’re insanely talented. You have to stop being so hard on yourself and letting those niggling worries get you down. Giulia is going to love having you around. I will want front row tickets to that catwalk show too,’ Amanda said, a sly smile spreading across her face as she looked down at the Robin onesie she was wearing. ‘I’m not sure if these onesies should grace the catwalk though. I should have known better than to make fun of your Olaf outfit,’ she added, patting her fluffy red chest.
‘I thought you would love them,’ Louisa said poking Amanda in the ribs, with her hot-chocolate-free hand.
‘I love mine – it’s super cosy and perfect for sleepovers,’ Sabrina said, wiggling her toes to make the bells on her elf onesie chime. She really did love it. It was doing a hell of a job keeping her toes from being frost-bitten in the Italian outdoors. ‘But onesies aside, you are one hell of an artist, Lou. I’d wear anything you designed providing it’s floaty and not too abstract,’ she said with a wink. ‘Giulia is going to see that she hit the jackpot having you on board,’ Sabrina added and Amanda nodded in agreement.
‘Thank you both – that means a lot. Speaking of being talented and not putting yourself down, this hot chocolate is giving me life. When are you opening up your own place?’ Louisa asked, very matter-of-fact, turning the tables on Amanda.
‘OK, I know, I need to start listening to my own advice, with everything it seems. I’ve been giving it some thought and yes I would very much love to open my own place. It seems like the right time and it would be a wonderful way of carrying on Grandpa’s legacy. And from the texts and voicemails I have been getting from Anthony it seems Jeff has done a fabulous job of destroying my reputation at Rusk so I’m going to need to look for a new job anyway,’ Amanda replied with a sigh, a note of defeat in her voice mixed with an air of confident determination.
‘And, after spending so much time with Zia Sofia I have created a list of recipes to share on my blog and I think now is as good a time as any to really see what I can do with that too. Grandpa’s recipes deserve to be shared with the world.’
‘Yay. I couldn’t agree more. Your blog will be amazing if you believe in it and you know your place will be the best in town. Grandpa would be so proud. You have nothing to worry about. And, Jeff, well, Jeff can suck it,’ Louisa said, causing them all to double over in their chairs laughing. Through chuckles Louisa added, ‘How could a snake like that possibly ruin your impeccable reputation?’ Her brows crinkled with curiosity.
Amanda sat up. ‘I have no idea. Something to do with food critics, false accusations and tampering with my whole routine and ordering system.’ She shrugged, sipping her hot chocolate. She stared out across the shimmering water, lost in thought. The Mediterranean Sea went on for miles, a faint line in the foggy distance. Only where the wispy cloud plumes danced on the water’s tip did it give pause, like maybe there was an end. Either way the sea of Amalfi made you believe that anything was possible.
***
Amanda felt a strange calm at the idea of leaving the safety net of her job. She had security there and Anthony, her boss, had been good to her over the years, but she knew in her heart that this was what she was destined to do. The thought that he, her grandpa, was guiding her was strong. She simply had to follow her instincts and let him lead the way.
‘Forget about Jeff, your place will be the cream of the crop. Oh and, Amanda, you do know that when I move home the chances are the boys will be around a lot more,’ Sabrina noted, gently nudging Amanda in the shin with the bells on the end of her elf shoes.
‘And …’ Amanda said, rolling her eyes and pulling the robin’s hood of her onesie down over her face.
‘Well, it seems to me that the fates have aligned, and you and Dan can actually be together,’ Sabrina replied with a casual wink.
‘Uh you guys are not going to let me live this down, are you? I’m boycotting the love thing. Forget I ever said it, please. We make for tremendous friends and I’m not about to mess that up,’ she whined from underneath her yellow beak. Sabrina pulled her elf hood over the ears. The wind was starting to pick up outside and the moonlight was being compromised by the grey clouds that had appeared in the sky.
‘You are such a drama queen and since when do you use words like tremendous?’ Louisa said, licking the whipped cream off her fingers and then wrapping them tightly around the mug for warmth. ‘You should be singing from the rooftops. He’s an amazing guy, seriously dreamy,’ she added, nodding her head.
‘What a splendid idea, Lou. I agree you should be singing about your love for the world to hear,’ Sabrina teased, her voice growing louder. ‘Besides, I’m one hundred per cent certain that that man loves you too,’ she added. Just then a snowflake landed on the tip of her nose.
‘And what makes you think that?’ Amanda replied, playing with a snowflake that landed on top of the marshmallow that was floating in her mug.
Suddenly, Sabrina and Louisa hopped up from their chairs, jingling as they did so. They both had grins sprawled across their faces to rival the cat who got the cream. They pointed towards the kitchen door and promptly ran past a nervous-looking Dan, and then into house, without answering her question.
***
Amanda shot out of her seat. ‘Hey, how you doing? Do you want some hot chocolate?’ Her words betrayed her, coming out high-pitched and in no way casual. She rocked back and forth between her toes and her heels. The sprinkle of snowflakes was getting heavier. She squinted to look at Dan, trying to study his facial expression to see what he was thinking. It was no use. Dan rarely gave anything away. His eyes were usually his weak spot but now they were murky and Amanda couldn’t figure out if it was the nerves in her stomach that were making it so hard for her to read them. His wavy hair was slightly damp and his plump red lips were rosier than normal. A few snowflakes had settled on his long lashes, reflecting in his dark pupils.
‘Can we talk?’ Dan asked, his face still not giving anything away, his voice making even the marshmallows in Amanda’s hot chocolate melt. He rubbed his hands together and pulled the collar of his thick grey jumper tighter around his neck. There was definitely going to be a snowstorm tonight.
‘How long have you been standing there?’ Amanda whispered, pushing the marshmallow around the maze of snowflakes in her mug and cringing at the thought of Dan hearing her mushy conversation with her sisters.
‘Long enough,’ Dan said, tilting her chin up with his hand so she was looking at him. Meeting his soulful brown eyes made her insides squirm. They were not telling her anything right now and despite the cold she could feel herself starting to sweat. This worried her.
‘Look, Dan, don’t you worry about me. I will be OK. I’m not going to start being clingy or anything. I don’t expect you to feel the same and I’m not upset that you don’t. It’s probably just a phase or miscommunication.’
Dan’s eyes bore into hers. He placed a finger on her lips in an effort to gently shush her and calm the words tumbling out of her mouth. For Amanda it did nothing but cause her lips to tingle at his touch, making her more flustered.
‘You’re calling me a phase – really, Amanda?’ He tilted his head to one side and let out a gentle laugh. ‘Aren’t you the charmer?’ The top of his jumper, atop his broad shoulders, was now covered in delicate snowflakes. Amanda’s onesie was no longer keeping her from the cold. The heavy snow mixed with the heat of her body was starting to make it damp.
‘You know what I mean?’ she retorted, rolling her eyes and shuffling her feet in an attempt to keep her blood flowing and also to distract herself.
‘It’s my fault,’ Dan began.
‘Whoa, OK, has all that media been getting to your ego? I’m not just another girl falling at your feet. Don’t think your good looks and rugged sensitivity is all that, mister. Like it’s so obvious that I’d just fall for you like every other girl you meet,’ she huffed and caught the marshmallow with her forefinger and thumb and popped it into her mouth, looking away from Dan and feeling irritated that she was having this conversation. This was so unlike her independent, confident self.
‘You are making it incredibly difficult for me to be nice to you right now. Will you just listen?’ Dan continued, with a smirk. He moved a flyaway piece of hair out of her face, sending a shiver over Amanda’s body. ‘As I was saying, it’s my fault. And, you are right – you are not like other girls. From the moment I met you, I was yours and I never said anything. At the time, you had just come out of a bad relationship and I was in a relationship. I didn’t know what to do. I knew you needed to experience the world, figure out who you were without me hovering over your every move.
‘You came alive in San Francisco. You saw what you were capable of. The strong, independent woman blossomed, and I didn’t want to get in the way of that. I kept telling myself it was nothing – you had a whole other life in England and I couldn’t take you from your family and ask you to stay. That would have been selfish of me, especially with the band always on the move. I can’t say that we wasted time, for we are the people we are today because of what we have been through. You needed that time on your own and I needed to figure myself out too.
‘But, in light of recent events, I feel your grandpa is letting me know that it’s time. It’s time to grab hold of the things that are most important to us and make the most of every second with them.’ Dan paused and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, Amanda’s heart gave a jolt. ‘I love you, and not just love you, I really love you, like I am in love with you, Amanda.’ Dan held his breath as his eyes searched hers.
Amanda was at a loss for words. Was this a dream? She didn’t know what to do. Would it be strange to kiss him? But that’s what it felt like she wanted to do. Could she say it back? Would he know how much she meant it? She swallowed the marshmallow with a gulp.
‘I love you too, the “I am really in love with you” one too, not just the little I love you.’ She laughed and punched him in the arm, feeling her cheeks glowing pink.
Dan let out a breath and his eyes sparkled even more beautifully than Amanda had seen before. They were clear now and she could see him, truly see him once more. Before she had any more time to think about kissing him and if it would be weird or odd to kiss her best friend, Dan’s gentle hands cupped her face, and he pressed his perfectly soft lips to hers.
For the first time in her life Amanda wished she wasn’t holding a mug of hot chocolate. She held the mug firmly, for fear of breaking her aunties’ fine pottery or ruining the moment and spilling hot liquid all over the sexy lead singer of the world’s hottest rock band who was currently kissing her like she’d never been kissed before, despite the fact that she really wanted to grab hold of Dan’s biceps and kiss him with all her might.
As though he had read her mind Dan released her head from his tender grip and keeping his eyes firmly on hers he took the mug out of her hands and bent down slightly to place it on the low wall. Amanda felt the absence of his touch at once but with her hands relieved of the hazardous liquid, she placed a finger to her lips and smiled, not taking her eyes of his either.
As Dan straightened back up, she had to tilt her head back to keep his gaze, with him being a head taller than her. Breaking eye contact she looked to his delicious lips, watched as they curled into a shy smile that made her knees wobble, reached out and grabbed his broad shoulders to pull him closer to her and kiss him with everything she had. She could get used to this, she thought, not wanting to pull away. She would be happy if this kiss lasted forever. That was the moment Dan chose to soften the kiss and part their lips. A little whimper escaped her. She didn’t want it to end. He smiled, keeping their noses touching.
‘You know, I think you were right,’ he said, a little hoarsely. ‘I found that someone I was looking for.’ She feathered his nose with light kisses. The snow was falling heavily now. Her lips were wet from the snowflakes that had melted against the heat of his cheeks.
‘Well, that makes two of us. Since meeting you, through all the good and the bad, the travel and the experiences, I’ve managed to find that something I’ve been searching for.’