Mack
Pressure: trying to persuade or force someone
to do something
Mack slammed her locker shut and wished for the millionth time that they’d never left London. The other kids streamed past her in the opposite direction, leaving her feeling like a lone salmon swimming downstream.
If she could have picked a superpower, it would have been invisibility.
It was her third week at her new school and so far it had been a disaster. In London she’d managed to blend, chameleon-like, into her surroundings but here she didn’t know the people or the rules well enough to do that. She was terrified of doing something wrong and making herself a target.
They were studying totally different stuff, and the other kids were already in friendship groups. She knew from experience that breaking into those groups and being accepted would be a nightmare. The girl who had been assigned to show her round and support her had vanished back to her friends as soon as her job was done.
The worst thing was lunch in the cafeteria. It was a huge open space where the strong flourished and the weak and vulnerable were exposed. Mack felt like a lone gazelle grazing on the savannah in full view of a pride of lions.
Her mother had encouraged her to join after-school clubs to meet people, but so far she hadn’t spoken more than a few words to anyone and all she wanted to do at the end of the day was go home and escape to her bedroom. The thought of extending the torture wasn’t appealing.
Across from her a lanky dark-haired boy was pinning up a poster advertising the Coding Club.
Tuesdays and Thursdays from 2:30 to 4:00 p.m.
She felt a thrill of excitement. In London, the focus had all been on traditional subjects and cramming for exams. There was no coding club.
Mack checked no one was looking and glanced again at the poster.
Could she go?
No. Excitement gave way to gloom. She knew from experience that to express interest in computer coding would be social suicide, especially when she was so new.
First impressions counted.
She turned back to her locker, ignoring the yearning inside her. Whatever label she managed to earn in these early days would stick. She didn’t want it to be nerd or geek. Bad things happened to nerds and geeks.
She dragged her heels to English. She loved reading, but the essays they were set were so boring.
If she’d been a teacher she would have made it more fun.
On a scale of one to ten, how much do you want to strangle Anna Karenina?
She grinned to herself and then saw a student looking at her and quickly wiped the smile off her face.
She tried not to think about Phoebe back home in England.
Without making eye contact with anyone, she slid into an empty seat and pulled out her books.
She’d already read the book the class was studying. Was she supposed to say so? Or pretend to be stupid?
“Hi.” The girl next to her flashed her a smile that almost blinded. “I’m Kennedy. And you’re new. I’ve seen you in some of my classes.”
Mack was so relieved that someone had finally spoken to her, she almost melted with gratitude. “I’m Mack.”
“You’re British? Oh my God.” Kennedy pressed her hand to her chest. “I love your accent. Where are you from?”
“I lived in London, but my mom is from here. I’m only half-British. She was born on the Vineyard.” And if it was going to make her more popular she would be as British as possible.
“But now you’ve moved back? From London? Why?” Her tone suggested she couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to do that.
“My—” Mack stalled. No way was she ready to divulge personal details. “My dad died.”
“Oh, that’s too bad.” Kennedy’s brow creased. “So tough.”
“Yeah.” Mack felt emotion rush at her and dipped her head in horror. If she cried now it would all be over. She leaned down and pulled her pens out of her bag, giving herself a moment to recover. Breathe, Mack, breathe.
“So do you want to hang out some time?” Kennedy was open and friendly and Mack had to fight even harder not to cry, but this time the emotion was driven by relief.
It was all she could do not to hug Kennedy.
She’d hoped that she might find some friends eventually, but she hadn’t expected it to be so soon. And she hadn’t expected the overture to come from someone like Kennedy, the coolest girl in the year.
“Thanks.” Humbled and touched, she tried not to choke on the word. “I’d like that.”
“Great.” Kennedy’s smile widened. “A bunch of us go to the beach most days after school. In the summer we swim and stuff, but while the weather is cold we mostly just hang out, chat and do things to keep warm.”
Mack wondered what “things” were. “I don’t have a car or anything.”
“No worries. My brother and a couple of his friends have cars, so we’ll give you a ride.”
Mack shifted uncomfortably. There was no way her mother would want her to climb into a car with a bunch of older boys she’d never met before.
“I have my bike at school.”
“Mitch drives his dad’s pickup so you can sling the bike in the back of that. Come this afternoon. We’ll meet at the front entrance. It will be good for you to meet a few people.” Kennedy’s eyes narrowed. “Unless you need to check with your mom or something.”
Mack was torn. Now that the first thrill had faded, she was starting to feel uneasy. But Kennedy’s smile was like a flickering torch in a dark tunnel and Mack didn’t want that light to go out.
She had a feeling this was some sort of test and she was determined not to fail.
It wasn’t as if her mother was likely to check up on her. She had too much on her mind to be a helicopter parent right now. And she’d wanted Mack to make friends, hadn’t she?
“My mom is cool with whatever I want to do,” she said.
“Great.” The smile was back to full wattage. Kennedy had perfect teeth, blue eyes and that groomed all-American look that Mack knew she’d never be able to achieve.
Across the room, Mack noticed the lanky, dark-haired boy who had pinned up the advert for the Coding Club. Their eyes met. He gave her an awkward smile and she looked away, embarrassed.
“Ignore him,” Kennedy advised. Flicking her hair back, she took her book out of her bag and slapped it on the desk. “He’s probably just looked up from his keyboard and discovered girls exist, but he wouldn’t have a clue what to do with one of them so don’t worry. He’s a coding creep.”
Mack didn’t think he looked like a creep, but to say so would sentence her to a life in teenage exile so she kept quiet.
At that moment the teacher arrived in the classroom and attention focused on work.
Mack kept her head down and said very little.
When they went to the cafeteria for lunch, this time she sat with Kennedy and her friends.
It was obvious that they were the golden group, the elites that others watched with envy.
They laughed loudly and were confident.
Mack saw a few kids sitting alone, and was relieved not to be one of them.
During break she sneaked a text to her mom.
Staying after school with friends. Home late.
The reply came moments later.
So proud of you joining a club and making friends so fast. Go you! xx
Mack felt a twinge of guilt but told herself it was just some lighthearted fun with a bunch of cool people.
What could go wrong?
During the drive to the beach she was squashed in the back seat between two girls she didn’t know and a boy who obviously thought it wasn’t cool to shower. There weren’t enough seat belts for all of them, but they’d joked that if they had an accident they’d be wedged too tightly to be thrown anywhere.
Mack laughed, too, although it took effort. Some of the roads on the island were single track and bumpy. She would have felt better having a seat belt.
Kennedy’s brother, Nick, was driving and during the general chat Mack discovered he was a senior and off to Harvard to study medicine in the fall.
Medicine. He was going to be a doctor. That had to make him sensible and responsible, didn’t it? Mack relaxed slightly. The feeling lasted until he parked at the beach, popped the trunk of his car and she saw the booze.
Panic lodged itself in her chest.
If there was one thing that freaked her mom out, it was underage drinking. The drinking laws were more lenient in the UK but that hadn’t helped her when she’d had her vodka moment.
The other kids all seemed so confident and comfortable, and she felt horribly out of place. She didn’t want to be here. She didn’t want to do this.
She watched as Nick tossed a beer to one of his friends and grabbed one for himself.
Her mom had drilled into her that she should never get into a car with someone who had been drinking, but to refuse a ride home would risk alienating her new friends. It would also mean she’d be stranded at the beach.
She had no idea how to get back to The Captain’s House from here and it would be dark soon.
It seemed she was stuck with her new friends.
She glanced desperately at Kennedy, but the other girl was busy laughing and flirting with one of the older boys.
“So, you’re Mack?” One of Nick’s friends strolled over to her. He was good-looking and his smile was friendly. “I’m Mitch, and you must be new. I haven’t seen you around.”
Mack relaxed slightly. “I just moved here from London.”
She allowed herself a small smile. Mack and Mitch? That was never going to work.
“London, England?” He took a swig of beer. “You ever see the queen?”
Definitely never going to work.
“No,” she said. “I never saw the queen.” She lives in a palace, dumbass.
She glanced across the beach and saw Nick making out with someone she recognized from her English class, a girl who sat next to Kennedy. Even as she looked, the girl fumbled for the zipper of his jeans and Mack looked away quickly.
“Ignore them,” Mitch advised. “They need to get a room. Which they probably will later. Help yourself to a beer.”
Mack hesitated. If she refused, she ran the risk of being teased, and if she accepted she ran the risk of being caught drinking under age and that wasn’t good either.
In the end she accepted and decided to find a way to spill some of it.
She half wished her mom would call to check where she was, but for once her phone was silent.
Mitch lit a cigarette, took a long drag and then offered it to her.
Mack shook her head. Not even to fit in was she prepared to inhale that noxious stuff.
He shrugged and smoked it himself instead.
She glanced round to see where Kennedy was and caught a glimpse of her blond head inside one of the cars. The windows were steamed up so you couldn’t even see inside.
Mack decided that was probably a good thing.
She shouldn’t have come.
She definitely shouldn’t have come.
The wind was cold and she shivered.
“You’re cold?” Mitch crushed the cigarette under his boot and pulled her against him. “I’ll warm you up.”
She wanted to push him away but she was so cold she was grateful for any warmth she could get.
“How long are we staying?”
“We only just got here.” He pressed his mouth to hers and she tasted cigarettes and almost choked.
It was gross. How could anyone think this was fun?
She tried to shove him away, but his arms were like bands of steel.
For the first time since she’d agreed to this stupid trip, she felt a flash of real fear.
Mitch grinned down at her. “You could be a little more friendly.”
“I need to get home.” She tried to push him away again but the more she pushed the more he tightened his arms.
“Hey, relax. We’re having some fun, that’s all.”
She knew this wasn’t fun and she also knew she was in serious trouble. If she ever found a way out of this, she was never, ever making a bad decision again. “Let me go!”
“You heard her.” The voice was deep and came from right behind her.
She recognized it instantly. It belonged to the same person who had come to her rescue last time she’d been in trouble.
Scott Rhodes.
Relief flooded through her. She knew that later she was going to feel humiliation along with a whole lot of other uncomfortable emotions, but right now all she cared about was that she was safe. It didn’t occur to her that Scott might not be able to handle this group. He looked like the kind of guy who could handle anything.
Mitch obviously agreed. He recognized Scott and promptly let go of Mack, thrusting her away from him so roughly she would have fallen if Scott hadn’t caught her.
He steadied her, his hand firm on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”
There was a big wedge of tears lodged in her throat but she managed to nod.
Scott’s mouth tightened into a grim line. Mack quailed. He was obviously really mad at her.
Mitch must have seen it, too, because he took a step back.
“Hey, she got in the car. She chose to come. There’s no law against that.”
Scott paused. “Maybe not, but there are laws against underage drinking, drinking and driving, and driving without seat belts, not to mention laws about consent. She told you to let her go. You need to work on your listening skills.” Dangerously calm, he glanced at Mack and jerked his head toward the car. “Get in.”
“But my bike is—”
“I’ll deal with it.”
Head down, she walked to Scott’s pickup and slid into the front passenger seat. It had started to rain and through the misted windshield she could see Scott talking to Mitch. The boy had his head dipped so Mack couldn’t see his face, but his body language told her it wasn’t a comfortable conversation.
Something licked her hand and she almost jumped out of her skin.
She turned round in her seat and noticed the dog in the back seat.
She hadn’t thought anything could make her feel okay ever again, but the sight of the dog lifted her spirits.
The car door opened and Scott slid into the driver’s seat.
Mack swallowed. “I didn’t know you had a dog. He’s gorgeous.”
“Fasten your seat belt.” He checked his mirror and reversed down the track until he reached a turning spot.
Mack reached out her hand to the dog, who leaned forward and licked it again.
“What’s his name?”
“Captain. He’s a Chesapeake Bay Retriever.”
The light was fading fast. His headlights picked out the track as they bumped their way to the main road. The landscape around them was indistinct. In London the streets were illuminated so brightly it was like sleeping with the lights on. Here on the Vineyard there was nothing but stars.
Mack closed her eyes for a moment, relieved to be safe.
She’d worry about the impact of it all tomorrow. For now she needed a rest from it all.
“Thank you for rescuing me. How did you know where I was?”
“I was on the beach with Captain and saw the cars drive past. I recognized that boy you were with.” He tightened his grip on the wheel. “It didn’t take you long to find the wrong crowd.”
“I didn’t know they were the wrong crowd.” But she had known, hadn’t she? Deep down she’d known, but she’d been so grateful to be included she hadn’t cared.
She was pathetic.
Scott’s gaze was fixed on the road ahead. “Over here, underage drinking is an offense.”
“I know.”
“That guy who had his hands on you—”
“I met him an hour ago. He’s a friend of Kennedy’s brother.” She glanced sideways and saw that his jaw was tight.
“You do know what he wanted, don’t you?” In the fading light he looked rough and a little dangerous. She could understand why Mitch had decided to back away without a fight.
“Yes. I’m not stupid.” Or maybe she was. She slumped in her seat. “I don’t blame you for being mad. That’s twice you’ve had to rescue me.”
“I’m not mad. I am concerned that you didn’t know how to deal with him.”
“I would have been okay.” She tried not to think about that disgusting kiss or those arms like iron bars, locking her body against his. She also tried not to think about what rumors Kennedy and the others were going to spread about her in school, but that was harder.
“You need to learn to take care of yourself and we’re going to deal with that, but the first rule of self-defense is not getting yourself into bad situations in the first place.”
Mack gaped at him. “You’re going to teach me how to fight?”
“Fighting and being able to defend yourself aren’t the same thing. Did you ever do any martial arts? Self-defense?”
“I’m not what you’d call a sporty person.” Mack kept her hand between the seats so that she could stroke Captain. “If I was, I wouldn’t have had problems. Sporty people don’t usually get bullied. Don’t tell me—you were captain of the football team.”
The corner of his mouth flickered. “No ball skills whatsoever.” It was only a hint of a smile but it was enough to make her feel better.
“I bet you have like fifteen different black belts and can throw a ten-ton man onto his back with a flick of your little finger.”
“No belts of any color. And I was a scrawny kid.”
Mack eyed the bulk of shoulder muscle under his jacket. “You’re not scrawny now.”
“I filled out some, that’s true. But it’s not what you’re like on the outside that stops you being bullied, it’s what’s on the inside.”
“My insides are a mess, too, so I guess I’m doomed.”
“It starts with your brain. First you do the thinking. Is this a good situation? Does it feel right?”
Mack huddled in her seat. Nothing about that situation had felt right. “You make it sound easy, but it’s not so easy when you’re friendless.”
“A friend is someone who cares about you. What you had back there was a bunch of teenagers who didn’t give jack shit about you.” His bluntness made her eyes fill.
“Thanks for not making me feel better at all.” If she had another way of getting home, she would have taken it. She was already feeling raw. She didn’t need any more abrasions.
“You want me to lie and pretend those kids are your friends?”
“Okay, enough! Stop! I don’t need this.” Mack put her hands over her ears and then let them drop into her lap. “They all hate me. I get it. I’m never going to make friends now and I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.”
He frowned. “All I’m saying is—”
“I know what you’re saying! There’s no need to hammer it home. Is this what you would have been like if you’d stuck around?”
“Honest, you mean?”
“I was going to say tactless. Unkind.”
“We have different definitions of unkind.”
“Whatever.” She leaned her head back against the seat, wondering if life could possibly get any worse. “Are you going to tell my mom about tonight?”
He slowed down as they approached an intersection. “Why would I do that?”
“Because I made a stupid choice. You probably think I need discipline.”
“I think you had a nasty moment and that’s going to stay with you longer than anything I, or your mom, might say. If you want to tell your mom, that’s your decision.” They’d reached Edgartown and he drove slowly along the narrow streets.
She was so relieved to be home and safe she almost cried. Instead she stroked Captain. He licked her palm again and again, as if he knew she needed comfort. “I love your dog. How long have you had him?” She hoped he’d stick with the subject of the dog. It seemed the safest thing to talk about.
“Couple of years. I found him washed up on the beach.”
“Washed up?”
“Someone tried to drown him, but Chesapeake Bay Retrievers are great swimmers. He managed to haul himself as far as the dock and then collapsed with half the ocean in his lungs.”
“That’s terrible.” Mack was horrified. “How can people be so cruel? And he has the nicest face of any dog I’ve ever seen.”
“You don’t have a dog?”
“No. I would have loved one, but we lived in London and our house wasn’t exactly dog friendly. We didn’t have a big yard or anything.” But if they were staying on the island, maybe they could get a dog. The thought cheered her, until she remembered that her grandmother was selling the house. To Scott. She decided that wasn’t a topic she wanted to raise. She’d had all the stress she could handle for one night. “Dogs are always pleased to see you. You don’t have to pretend to be cool. You don’t have to try and fit. You can be yourself. You probably have no idea what I’m talking about.”
“I know exactly what you’re talking about.”
He pulled up outside her grandmother’s house and Mack found herself wishing the journey had been longer. A few moments before she’d been ready to jump from the car, but with the dog’s warm nose nudging her sympathetically she was in no hurry to move.
“When you were my age did you have to move and change schools?”
He stared straight ahead. “All the time.”
“How did you make new friends?”
“I got to like my own company.” He turned his head to look at her. “That’s usually better than the wrong company.”
“I know I try too hard, but I want to feel accepted. I guess because things are a bit rough at home.” She leaned her head back against the seat, braced for him to say something that would make her feel worse.
“Have you told your mom how you feel?”
“No. She’d worry, and believe me she has enough to worry about. I may not be the daughter of her dreams, but even I’m not going to dump another load of crap on her head. You want to know something crazy? Sometimes I lie there at night and imagine I have superpowers like in the movies.”
“Resilience is a superpower.” He leaned across her and opened the door. “You have that.”
“You think so?” She wasn’t sure. She would have liked to talk about it some more, but he’d opened the door so presumably he was done with her. “Are you sure you don’t want to come in? The fact that you saved me probably gives you plenty of plus points. I’ll be the one in trouble, not you.” She shrugged it off, pretending to not care even though she cared very much.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He sprang out of the car and Captain jumped out after him, tail wagging as Scott unloaded her bike. “Do you have a phone?”
“I’m a teenager. My phone is the equivalent of life support.”
He held out his hand. “Give it to me.”
Was he going to confiscate it? Wary, she handed it over and he tapped the screen and entered a number.
“You’re giving me your number?”
“In case you’re ever in trouble and you don’t want to call your mom.” He handed the phone back to her. “I can’t guarantee not to say the wrong thing and upset you, but I can guarantee to come when you call.”
She felt as if someone had thrown a warm blanket around her shoulders.
For the first time since she’d arrived on the island, she didn’t feel alone. There was someone she could call. Worried she might burst into tears, she bent to kiss Captain on the head and then straightened. “Thanks.”
Scott reached out and squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up. There’s not a person alive who hasn’t made bad choices at one time or another.”
“Did you?”
“I made more than most.” With a brief smile he whistled to the dog, climbed back into his pickup and disappeared down the street.