Lauren
Anxiety: a feeling of nervousness or worry
Lauren walked into the garden room where her mother was reading. “Have you seen Mack?”
Her mother glanced up from her book. “Not since last night. Why?”
“I can’t find her anywhere.”
“Have you tried her room?”
“Yes. She’s not there.” In normal circumstances she wouldn’t have worried, but circumstances hadn’t been normal in a long time.
“Maybe she has gone for a walk.”
“It’s the weekend. She doesn’t normally get out of bed until eleven, but I checked her room at eight and it was empty.” Where would her daughter be going at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning?
Nancy put her book down. “Call her. One of the advantages of today’s technology-addicted youth is that you can always contact them.”
“I tried that. Her phone is switched off.” And she was trying not to panic.
There was no reason for anxiety.
Mack was probably with a friend.
Except she didn’t have any friends.
The anxiety was louder now. More insistent.
Mack was unhappy. She didn’t have anyone to turn to. And Lauren hadn’t managed to persuade her to open up and talk. Her mind raced ahead.
What if she’d done something awful?
Nancy removed her glasses. “Could she have gone to see Jenna?”
Lauren frowned. “How?”
“The same way she gets everywhere. On her bike.”
“That’s a long cycle. It would take her hours.” Still, Lauren texted her sister. “Did she seem quieter than usual to you last night?”
“Not that I noticed. She never says much.”
She used to talk all the time.
Lauren’s phone pinged. “She’s not with Jenna. I’m going to see if her bike has gone.” She hurried outside, trying not to let herself overthink.
Mack’s bike wasn’t there.
So she’d gone for a bike ride. That was fine.
But why hadn’t she told anyone where she was going?
Lauren tried calling again but it went to voice mail.
“What can I do?” Nancy’s voice came from the doorway. “Do you want to go looking for her?”
“Where?” Lauren’s mind was blank. She had no idea where her daughter was.
She could have been knocked off her bike.
She could be lying dead in a ditch.
Why hadn’t she at least left a note saying where she was going?
This was all her fault. She’d known Mack was miserable, and had failed to reach her. She should have tried a different way. She should have tried a million different ways.
“I’m a bad mother.” If someone had warned her parenting was this hard she would have insisted on using ten condoms every time she had sex.
“Stop it,” Nancy said. “Stop beating yourself up. You’re the best mother any child could have.”
“My daughter left the house without telling me where she was going. I have no idea where she could be. What does that say about me?”
“It doesn’t say anything about you. It says she’s a teenager going through a tough time.”
Lauren thought about all the things she and Jenna had done as children.
But they’d done them together.
That was different. Mack was alone. Grieving. Confused. Depressed?
“I’m going to look for her.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know, but I can’t sit around here doing nothing. Can I take your car?”
“Yes. But, Lauren—”
“Keep your phone on. If she comes home, call me.”
She tried to think about all the places Mack liked on the island. There was that little boutique close by. She liked the beach. But which beach?
She drove along the road that bordered the cycle trail, looking for signs of her daughter. It was still cold and the beaches were empty apart from a couple of people walking their dogs.
She slowed as she passed the entrance to one of the large houses.
Could Mack be on one of the private beaches?
The houses rented for exorbitant sums during the summer, but were often empty at this time of year.
She drove on, occasionally glancing at the beach when the road allowed.
Mild anxiety thickened into dread.
Should she call the police?
What would she say? My daughter got up unusually early. I think something is wrong.
They’d think she’d lost her mind. And then they’d want to know all the reasons she was scared for her daughter, and Lauren would have to relive the horror of the last few weeks.
Still, better that than find Mack’s body washed up on the beach.
She reasoned with herself as she drove. Mack wouldn’t have hurt herself. If she were that unhappy she would have said so.
Wouldn’t she?
Just how well did she know her daughter these days?
She wasn’t sure whether it was instinct or impulse that made her drive to the marina, but as she drove through the entrance the first thing she saw was Mack’s bike propped against the wall.
What would she be doing here? Flooded with panic, Lauren started to shake so badly she almost drove the car into that same wall. She pulled up and was out of the car in a flash.
The bike was there, but there was no sign of Mack.
Her imagination was already in overdrive, and she glanced at the water, terrified of seeing clothes floating or, worse, a body.
And then she heard the sound of an engine.
A boat was chugging into the marina. Scott was at the helm and there, sitting in the front, laughing as if she didn’t have a care in the world, was Mack.
A sweet rush of relief—thank you, thank you—turned to anger.
She strode down to the jetty on legs so shaky that she stumbled twice.
The moment Mack noticed her, the laughter stopped.
Lauren struggled to speak. She couldn’t get air into her lungs.
Finally she managed to make a sound. “Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”
Mack stepped out of the boat cautiously. “Worried?”
“You weren’t in your room. You didn’t say where you were going. You didn’t answer your phone.”
“Okay, calm down.” Mack backed away but her escape was blocked by Scott.
“She called you, Lauren. I heard her do it.”
“Is that what she told you?” Lauren stuck out her hand. “Give me your phone, Mack.”
“But—”
“Now.”
Mack handed it over and Lauren checked the calls and held up the evidence. “She hasn’t made a call this morning.”
Mack shrugged. “I wanted to go on the boat with Scott and I thought you might say no.”
“Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?” She was shrieking. She knew she was shrieking but she couldn’t control it. Worry had ripped through the last layers of control, exposing everything she was feeling.
Mack shifted uncomfortably. “Calm down.”
“I’m angry, Mack.”
“Yeah, I’m getting that.”
“Do not use that tone with me. You can’t do this! You can’t wander off, not come home and not say anything about where you are, not call, not text—” She snatched in an unsteady breath. “It is selfish and thoughtless and—cruel.”
“Cruel?” Mack stood frozen to the spot. “How is it cruel?”
“I thought you might have done something, Mack. I thought you might be lying dead in a ditch or drowned or—”
“Dead?” Mack gaped at her. “Why would I be dead?”
“You’re unhappy! I know you’re unhappy.”
“Maybe, but I don’t want to be dead. You know that.”
“No, I don’t know that because you don’t talk to me. All I know is that every day you vanish to your room and slam the door. You’re upset about Dad—Ed—but you won’t talk about it. I know you hate school but you won’t talk about that either. You don’t talk about anything. If I had facts to go on I might not have been so anxious but you don’t give me facts so my imagination is all I have left.”
“I didn’t think.”
“Then it’s time you started thinking, Mackenzie!”
Mack pressed herself against Scott. “Okay, but could you calm down? You’re going to blow a blood vessel or something.”
She wanted to calm down, but she couldn’t.
Scott stepped forward and closed his hands over her arms. “It’s my fault. I should have called you myself. I should have known.”
“Why would you have known? You don’t have any experience of teenage girls.”
“She’s okay, Lauren. And she’s learned a lesson. Enough now.”
“I decide when it’s enough. You don’t get to tell me how to parent my child.” She stepped away from him and looked at Mack. “I know you’re sad. Confused. Grieving, but there still have to be boundaries and today you stepped right over that line. From now on I want to know where you are and who you’re with at all times. If you’re going to be late home from school, I want to know. Is that clear?”
Mack’s eyes were swimming. “What’s clear is that my life sucks.”
“Maybe, but it’s going to suck in a place where I can see you.” She turned to Scott. “And The Captain’s House is no longer for sale.”
“Because I took your daughter out on the boat?”
“Because we have other plans for it.”
He raised an eyebrow. “We?”
“The Stewart family.” She turned back to Mack. “Get your things.”
“I’ll cycle home.”
“I’m putting your bike in the trunk.” She jerked her head toward the car. “Move!”