Jenna
Acceptance: an attitude or feeling that you
cannot change a difficult situation and that
you must get used to it
“We saw the doctor.” Jenna pressed her hands to the floor, wondering why she’d agreed to yoga. “Is this something I should be telling you while I’m doing downward-facing dog?”
Ungainly: lacking grace when moving.
Lauren glanced at her. “You’re not supposed to be talking,” she whispered. “You’re supposed to relax.”
“Talking relaxes me. She wanted to know everything about our sex life. It was a bit kinky.” She stopped talking as the yoga instructor came up behind her.
“Press down into your hands. Keep your breathing steady.”
Jenna’s legs were starting to cramp.
No matter how hard she concentrated, she always seemed to be half a move behind everyone else. She was only here because she’d promised Greg she’d give it a try, and she enjoyed spending time with her sister.
As the instructor moved back to the front of the class, Lauren turned her head. “Have you lost weight?”
Jenna eyed her reflection in the huge mirror. “I have.”
“Diet?”
“No. I stopped comfort eating.” She gave a wicked smile. “I’m finding comfort elsewhere.”
“Shh!” The woman closest to them sent them an incinerating glare and Lauren rose elegantly out of the position she’d been holding.
“Let’s go.”
“Go?” Jenna’s untangling was less elegant. “Go where?”
“We’re breaking out of here.” Lauren gathered up her mat, sent a look of apology to the instructor and strode out of the room.
Torn between embarrassment and relief, Jenna grabbed her things and slunk out behind her. “I can’t believe you did that. You love yoga.”
“But you hate it and life is too short to spend it doing something you hate. I couldn’t bear the look on your face. It’s not supposed to be torture.”
Jenna slung her bag over her shoulder. “For a moment there you actually sounded like my sister. Do you want to go skinny dipping? Or we could help ourselves to strawberries from Mrs. Maxwell’s garden?”
“Don’t push me. We need to take this a step at a time.” Lauren pulled the band off her ponytail and let her hair flow. “Let’s go for a walk on the beach. You can tell me about your appointment.”
“Nothing to tell. They’re going to run some simple tests first, so we have a long way to go before we have to start making decisions about anything. But I’m glad we finally went.” It had made her feel less helpless. As if they were doing something. “Greg handled it well.”
“If Greg can’t handle stuff like this, there’s no hope for the rest of us.”
“It’s different when you’re dealing with your own problem.” She understood that now. “It’s personal. You can’t be neutral when it’s personal. I promised I’d relax more and go to yoga, but yoga doesn’t help me relax.”
“But eating ice cream on the beach does, so let’s go do that.” Lauren slipped her arm through Jenna’s and they walked across the parking lot.
Jenna thought about all the times they’d done this as kids. “Thanks for helping me escape. If you ever get put in prison, I promise to dig a tunnel and get you out.”
“You’d probably be the reason I was in there in the first place.”
Jenna tugged at her sister’s arm. “Hey, you’re the ringleader, not me.”
“If I were to ever find myself in prison, I’m sure it would be because I was covering for you, but don’t worry. No matter what they did to me, I’d never give you up.”
They were both giggling. “They’d find a way of making you talk. They’d wave a pair of great shoes under your nose and you’d yell, ‘Hell yes, she’s guilty now give me those Jimmy Choos.’”
“I would not give you up for great shoes. I’m not that cheap.”
“Lipstick?”
“No way.”
“Salted caramel ice cream?”
“That’s not fair.” Lauren stopped dead. “No one can resist that.”
“So if I was standing on the edge of a cliff with a tub of salted caramel ice cream and you could only save one of us, it would be the ice cream?”
“I’d push you off to get to the ice cream.”
“How did I get stuck with you as a sister?”
Lauren grinned. “I guess you got lucky. But now you’ve made me think of salted caramel ice cream. Where’s the nearest source?”
“We’ll pick some up on the way to the beach. But don’t you need to get back to spend time with Mack?”
“She’s sailing with Scott.”
“Again?” Jenna unhooked her arm from Lauren’s and stooped to tie the lace on her running shoe. “Is that a regular thing now?”
“Yes. Turns out she’s pretty good at it. She’s inherited Scott’s feel for the sea. And she’s been helping him in the boatyard, too.”
“And how about you? Are you seeing him?”
“He loaned me the money, so naturally I feel an obligation to keep him updated on my business.”
“When I asked if you were seeing him, that wasn’t what I meant. I meant, are you seeing him? As in, are you having clothes-ripping, breath-stealing sex?”
“Of course not.” Lauren walked away from her toward the car.
“Wait!” Jenna sprinted after her. “Why ‘of course not’?”
“It’s only been six months since I lost Ed.”
Jenna stopped dead. “Lauren Stewart, what is this crap?”
“I’m not Ste—”
“You broke me out of a boring yoga class and threatened to push me off a cliff. You’re definitely a Stewart. So what I want to know is how my ballsy, adventure-seeking sister who has basically been in love with the same guy her whole life, isn’t having sex on every available flat surface. It doesn’t matter that it’s only been six months. Where’s the rule that says you have to be miserable for a certain length of time?” Across the parking lot a couple climbed out of their car and glanced in their direction.
Lauren rolled her eyes. “If you speak a little louder they’d maybe hear you on Nantucket. It would save me sending out a bulletin. I definitely think you should repeat the part about sex on every available flat surface.”
“How long are you going to wait? Ed wouldn’t want you to wait, I can tell you that.”
“It’s not only that I feel guilty about Ed, there’s Mack to think about.”
Prevaricate: avoid giving a direct answer or firm decision.
“Mack is doing great. She’s in better shape than you are. So tell me the truth. What’s the real reason you’re holding back? Because I’m sure this is your decision and not Scott’s.”
They’d reached the car and Lauren stopped.
“I guess I’m scared.”
“Scared of what?” For a moment Jenna couldn’t breathe. This was her sister. Her sister who never used to be afraid of anything. “Scared you might lose him the way you lost Ed?”
“No. Well, maybe a little—” Lauren bit her lip. “It’s more that I’m afraid to let myself fall in love with him again. Or maybe I’ve always been in love with him and I’m afraid that if I admit it, I won’t be able to handle what happens next.”
Jenna hesitated. “You’re worried he might walk away like he did the first time?”
She saw the flash of anguish in her sister’s eyes and wondered if she’d been wrong to encourage the relationship. What if Lauren became involved with Scott and he let her down again?
Lauren gave a wan smile. “I guess that’s part of it. I’ve taken all the emotional battering I can take for a while. Oh—” She broke off as Jenna wrapped her arms around her. “What’s that for?”
“For love. For protection. For courage.” Jenna held her sister tightly. Love was all about risk, wasn’t it? And some risks were worth taking. “Remember when you used to drag me on all those adventures when we were young? I was terrified! I always tried to stop you doing it, but when that didn’t work, I went along anyway. And I did it because it was my job to look out for you, the same way you looked out for me. No matter what trouble you found yourself in, I was there for you and I still am. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. None of us does. But I’ll be there for you the whole way. That hasn’t changed. The only thing that has changed is that this time I’m the one urging you to take the risk. You’re holding back from the one thing that’s going to make you happy, Lauren.” And if Scott hurt Lauren again, she’d kill him with her bare hands.
“I’ll think about it.”
“You’ll do more than think about it.” Jenna nudged her toward the car. “Go, before that serious-faced yoga instructor with the incredibly annoying voice comes and drags us back. Given my track record behind the wheel, you’d better be the getaway driver.”