CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Ice
FUCK, HOW DID I end up in this position again? She was wearing her skimpy tank top to bed and a fucking thong. She was sleeping, not on her side of the bed, but over on my side. Her ass was snuggled right up against my cock and my hand was draped over her stomach. It was so wrong, but felt so fucking right. I couldn’t go back there with her. I had done a lot of thinking while I was on the job and I came to the conclusion that I needed to let her go. She had walked away from me way too easily and she didn’t even give me a chance to fucking talk it out with her. That wasn’t the kind of relationship I wanted to be in. Hell, before her, I hadn’t wanted to be in a relationship at all. Then, when she was in the hospital, I just wanted to be there for her. I thought that because she had called me that she needed me. Well, she had, but it turns out that she only called me to help her out. She didn’t actually want me, which she made perfectly clear in the hospital when she told me to leave. I wanted so badly to go find those assholes that hurt her and kill them. But if I did that, I’d be ruining my life. As much as I wanted to stay and protect her, I knew that if I hung around, I wouldn’t be able to get any clarity on our situation. I would try and insert myself into her life again. Sebastian would protect her. He told me he would watch out for her, and I trusted him completely. When he called me and told me that Lindsey couldn’t go back in her house, it was an easy decision to have her go stay at my place. It hadn’t been the same without her there and even if I wasn’t with her, I knew that my place would be an easy adjustment for her. I didn’t like the idea that she would be alone and probably having a shit ton of crap going on in her head, but she hadn’t asked me to stay. Now, she was tucked in right next to me, where she belonged. And it was fucking killing me. I wanted to hold her all morning. I wanted to make love to her. I wanted to believe that it would be us in this bed again, no anger between us. I pulled myself from her warm body and headed out of the bedroom before I got lost in the daydream. After making coffee, I stared out the window, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to have her stay with me and not fuck her. I heard her shuffle in behind me and really looked at her. She looked a hell of a lot better than the last time I had seen her. Looking at her now, I wouldn’t have known that she had been assaulted if I hadn’t see it for myself. “Morning,” I said gruffly. “Morning,” she mumbled. She grabbed a cup of coffee and walked away, heading to the back door to sit in the back yard. She looked so at peace out there and I couldn’t help but wish that this could be our morning every morning. I went out, sitting beside her on the swing, figuring now would be as good a time as any to figure out where we went from here. “So, what are you thinking?” I asked her. “About what exactly?” So, it was going to be like that. “About what you’re going to do. Are you sticking around?” “I don’t know. I don’t know if I can stay in that house now. I’ve been back there a few times and it gets easier every time, but staying there is a different story.” “You could always hire a manager to stay there.” “I don’t know if that’s possible right now. Start up costs alone are going to be pricey. I’ll just have to see once I get the place furnished.” “Well, you can stay here as long as you need,” I said, hoping to reassure her. “Thanks, I…I didn’t know if you would be okay with it. I mean, Sebastian said you would be, but I mean, after everything that’s happened…” “Yeah,” I said, understanding what she was saying. On the other hand, she was the one that asked me to go. “I’m sor-” “I want-” We both tried to talk at the same time and then laughed at how awkward all this was. “You go first,” I said. “I wanted to say thank you for letting me stay here and I’m sorry about before.” “Before?” I wasn’t sure what she was referring to and I didn’t want to guess. “You know, with the whole running away thing. You were right. I should have stayed and talked with you. Which is probably why I was so mad when you left.” “When I left?” I asked in confusion. “What are you talking about?” “Well, if you truly loved me, you wouldn’t have walked away. Just like I shouldn’t have walked away from you.” “What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked, more than a little pissed off at the moment. “I didn’t walk away from you.” “Well, you weren’t here,” she snapped. “I was lying in a hospital bed and you ran off to play with your guns.” “First off, I don’t play with guns, and second, I wouldn’t have walked away if you hadn’t practically spit in my face when I showed up.” “Well, I wouldn’t have acted like that if you hadn’t shoved your tongue down some trashy actress' throat!” “Fuck, are you gonna bring that up every time we talk? Cuz that’s gonna get really fucking old really fucking fast.” She stood, glaring at me with her arms crossed over her chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that shoving your tongue down another woman’s throat wasn’t really that big of a deal. Maybe I should just go find Jake and do the same!” “Why don’t you?” I snapped. “I’m sure he could find you a matching plaid shirt and matching plaid pajamas. He probably even has a plaid comforter!” She bit her lip and looked away. “He does,” I shouted, throwing my hands up in the air. “That’s just fucking perfect. I’m sure you’ll live a happy plaid life and you can even find some fucking plaid wallpaper for you house. You can be the fucking Waltons!” “The Waltons didn’t wear plaid,” she yelled back at me. “What the fuck ever!” I stomped back into the house, slamming the door behind me. So much for a calm, decent conversation.
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“What the fuck is your problem?” Cap asked as I stalked into his office. “Nothing. Everything. I need another fucking job.” “You just got back yesterday.” “Yeah, and I’m fucking ready to go again.” Cap snorted, laughing as he threw his pen down on the desk. “I take it things aren’t going so well with the misses?” “Let me see if I can sum it up for you. She beat me with a bat when I walked through the door,” I said, ticking off my fingers. “She stole my side of the bed. And this morning, she basically said that I ran off on her when she was injured. Then she threw it in my face that I kissed that actress.” Cap cringed. “Have you actually told her the whole fucking story about what happened?” “I would if she ever shut her fucking mouth. I swear, I don’t know if I want to fucking slap her or kiss her just to shut her up.” “Right, well, maybe slapping her isn’t the best option.” “You think?” I asked sarcastically. “She’s just so…infuriating. I was there trying to make peace with her and she just has to go bring up shit from the past. She doesn’t want to hear my side of things. She just wants to be fucking right.” “I think maybe you two need to sit down and hash this out.” “Fat fucking chance of that happening. The only way she and I are going to talk it out is if we’re stuck in the same fucking place together with nowhere to go.” Cap nodded in understanding and I finally took a seat. “Look, I just gotta get out of here. I can’t live with her, but I can’t kick her out either.” “Well, I don’t have anything right now. Let me see what I can do.” “I’d appreciate that, Cap.” He nodded at me as he picked up his phone. I took that as my cue to leave and headed for the training area. Technically, I was off work for the week, but there was no fucking way I was staying around the house.