I just couldn’t sleep. As the night grew darker and darker, I realized just how much I’d missed over the past several years. He’d been right in front of me this entire time. Turning toward the closed door, considering the man that lay on the other end of the house, a tremble ran through my body. Why hadn’t I seen the way he looked at me before now?

We had spent the last several years bumping into one another at function after function. Talking, laughing, joking around. All this time? He’d wanted to be with me all this time? It dawned on me at that moment that while I had been trying so hard to close myself off, the right man had seen past all that to see the real person I was.

The fact that Zack saw me for me was something beyond scary. He was definitely someone I couldn’t hide from. No matter the walls I erected around my heart, he would penetrate everything to find me without even breaking a sweat. That was something that frightened the daylights out of me more so than anything else.

I knew he had brought me here to keep me safe and protected, but I felt so alone right now, sitting in this empty room, staring at the walls that were closing in around me. So I stood up from the bed, making my way to the balcony overlooking the lush gardens below, even though at this hour all you could see was the silhouette of the flowers in the beds resting their blooms for the evening.

Hugging my stomach, wishing for some kind of comfort to help me sleep, I welcomed anything that would give me some reprieve from the constant mental anguish I kept putting myself through. Light sounds began to make their way through the room, but it was only when the tap tap tap against the wood echoed again that I realized what it was. As the door opened slightly at first, I was startled until I caught the scent of him waft into the room, announcing his arrival.

“Katie.”

He said softly, trying not to wake me, not realizing I was already wide wake.

“Katie.”

This time the door opened a bit more than before. With his hand curling around the edge just before, his profile slowly came into view. The smile that spread across my face made my cheeks ache. It was only then that I realized that this was just what I was waiting for—comfort from the one person who was able to give it to me.

“Kat…”

He didn’t get to finish. Headed in his direction, I leave my perch in search of his warmth.

“Zack, I’m up. Come in.”

He laughed as he made his way into the room, stumbling on his own feet at the realization that he didn’t need to stalk in like a prowler in his own house.

“Crap! That was graceful.”

He rubbed his shin with a grin.

“Hehe, you okay?”

I was glad to see I wasn’t the only klutz in this relationship.

“Yes, thank you. Are you okay?”

I didn’t fall, so why was he asking me? Oh, wait!

“Just can’t sleep.”

“I thought you might be having some trouble with that. How about some hot tea to sooth the nerves a bit?”

“Darjeeling?”

“Of course. Is there any other kind?”

“You seriously have Darjeeling tea? No one has that specific kind of tea. I usually have to bring my own.”

“I pay attention, you know. Like I said, I’ve been wanting to ask you out for some time now.”

“Should I get the restraining order together?”

“It’s not like that, smart-ass. The tea is your fault. You introduced it to me a few months ago at your mom’s picnic, and I just had to have it for myself.”

“Twinings?”

It’s the only brand I liked or would even drink.

“Why don’t you come and find out for yourself, since I’m not doing such a great job convincing you.”

Narrowing my eyes and contemplating my alternatives, I watched as he waited patiently for me to make my next move. I felt as though this was a test of sorts. Something monumental in our relationship hinged on this moment. Panic shot through me, but it was more a reaction with my head than my true reaction to the situation. I wasn’t necessarily panicked, but my mind felt as if I should have been, so I responded that way anyway. As soon as I realized this, the panic eased.

I wasn’t actually panicking. For the first time in years, the pressure someone else was putting on me hadn’t caused me to panic. I wanted to go with him. I didn’t have to tell myself to feel this way or another. I just wasn’t concerned about something so trivial as having tea in the middle of the night at someone else’s home.

The smile that reflected back at me from Zack’s face confirmed that he too knew how monumental a moment this was for me.

“Thank you, I would love some tea.”

My hand brushed against his before he enveloped his much larger hand around mine. Sparks flew between us immediately, and it seemed as if I was not the only one that felt it. The electric zap danced across our sprawled fingers as we tested our connection, not wanting to pull away. Driven by the desire to feel more, I never wanted to let go.

“Wow,” we said at the same time. He held on to my hand until we made our way into the expansive space he called the kitchen. To me, it looked like a buffet area that would serve a hundred people at least, but to him it was just a normal part of his place.

“This is your kitchen?”

“Oh, that’s right, you haven’t seen the house yet.”

It wasn’t a question, but a fact. Zack had moved into this home only two months before, after his last house had burned down in an electrical fire. With most of his possessions destroyed in the process, everything he now owned was brand-new.

“I love the space. It was the main reason I decided to purchase this place.”

After I found my seat at the island, I heard him say, “Hopefully you do, too,” under his breath.

In my limited knowledge of men, both good and bad, I’d become quite good at discovering hidden agendas when I saw one, but this didn’t feel like one to me.

“What are you up to, Zackary?”

With my hands resting on my hips, I gave him the most authoritative stance I could muster at two in the morning.

He actually had the gall to stand there silently, trying not to smile or say a word. Unfortunately, he couldn’t hold onto it for long, since the corners of his mouth began to lift into a grin.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I just want you here with me, for however long I can have you.”

“You really are incorrigible. You know that, right?”

“Aw, see? You do know me so well.”

We laughed as we both poured ourselves some tea. Then he pulled cream from the fridge and sugar from the cabinet, handing me a spoon in the process.

“Okay, now I’m getting nervous. How closely were you paying attention?”

He just laughed it off, even as I was beginning to think that a restraining order might need to be readdressed.

“It’s my job to watch things closely. You never know when you may need the upper hand in a situation.”

“Upper hand, huh? And why would you need the upper hand with me?”

“You’re impressed. Admit it.” He watched as I took a long sip of the tea, drawing out the uncertainty I hoped he was feeling. “I caught you off guard, and you’re impressed. Admit it.”

His smile grew as he looked into my eyes. Seeing whatever he was looking for, he shook his head and took a sip of his tea.

I couldn’t hold off any longer, however, and decided to admit it to him—but with a bit of work first.

“It’s two in the morning. At this point, the kitchen alone would have been impressive.”

“Nope, you’re not getting out of this one. I’ve impressed you with my moxie and keen abilities. Admit it. You’re done in. I got you.”

Placing the cup on the counter, he took me into his arms and wrapped my pliable body into his, crushing away all the angst of the day. My worries faded into the background as his arms circled around, squeezing the loneliness away as he crushed his lips against mine in the sweetest kiss I’d ever received in all my life. We stood this way for what seemed like hours as his mouth molded to mine, his tongue caressing my bottom lip, seeking an entrance I was all too willing to give.

“Yes,” I whispered as he took control of my body. His tongue glided across mine, tangoing his way into my heart with every stroke. He was flicking his way into my soul, and we hadn’t even made it past our first official date. Then, abruptly, he pulled away, holding me so I didn’t fall over.

“God, I want you so much.”

“Don’t stop.”

Chuckling, he just held my arms, keeping the distance between us an arm’s length away.

“Not yet. We need more time to get to know each other better.”

“Shouldn’t that be my line?”

“Too bad, it’s still true. I don’t want to mess this up. We’re good together, and I think we can be great together. I want us to always be together.”

“Why is it that when you say it, I believe you?”

“Gifted politician.”

“No, I don’t think that’s the reason.”

Without missing a beat, he replied, “I don’t either.”

But I was so busy trying to stay awake, suddenly tired after our excursion. A yawn snuck up on me, making me gasp for breath and lose focus.

“I should go back to bed.”

“I’d say the tea helped plenty. Looks like a success.”

“Okay, crazy.”

In that moment, the loneliness was completely gone, as though a weight had lifted off my shoulders. The cloud that had haunted me for so long was just gone. For how long, I couldn’t say, but I felt it all the same. A new lightness was reawakening my senses, making me feel everything again. Making me feel free, at last.

“Good night, Katie. Sleep well.”

When we made it back to the guest room, I felt more relaxed than I had in years, the stress of the day completely forgotten. It seemed as if Zack did that for me; he simply replaced all the bad in my life with…himself.

“Night, Zack.”

His lips kissed my forehead before he made his way back down the hall. I could only stare back at him, watching his rear end sway as he walked away. Taut buttocks bounced with each step he took.

I was captivated by it until he suddenly turned around to see what I was doing.

Busted!

“Night, Katie.”

He said it again quietly, so as to not startle me out of my trance.

“Oh, yeah.”

I shook my head, trying to clear out the cobwebs.

“Night, Zack. Thank you for letting me stay the night.”

“Weekend, Katie. Week…end.”

He purposely extended the last part. And with those words, he was gone.

Shit! We had three more nights before I had to leave to go back to my place. It was definitely going to be the longest three nights of my life.

 

***

 

“Morning, did you sleep well?”

Zack wasted no time scooping up some scrambled eggs onto a plate, with a few strips of bacon decorating the edge.

As tired as I was from my restless night, the smell of bacon, eggs, toast, and coffee woke me right up.

“Toast will be ready in a few seconds. Go ahead and start eating.”

“Aren’t you joining me?”

The crease from his dimples formed as his smile extended from a slight, panty-dropping grin to a sexy, broad—oh yeah, you’re mine—cocky nostalgia.

“Of course, just let me grab our toast first.”

“If it’s all the same, I’ll just wait until you join me.”

“I’d like that.”

He grabbed my hand, which was tiny in comparison to his, as he pulled me to his chest for an earth-shattering kiss. It left us both breathless until we heard the toast pop. With that, he was off, leaving me standing next to the counter, wanting more of everything he had to offer.

“Sit,” he commanded as came back with the toast in hand.

I was awestruck at how much this man had affected me in such a short amount of time. We just started dating yesterday—heck, last night for that matter—and already I was staying at his place, having breakfast and agreeing to spend the weekend with him.

“I, uh…”

The words just didn’t come out as I contemplated the situation further.

Twisting his head to one side and studying my face, it was as though he could read my every thought. It had always been like that with us, actually. It felt natural for him to know what I was thinking. I had no idea how he did it, but I found it comforting. Well, most of the time.

“Relax, it’s just breakfast. We both need to eat, so whatever that brain of yours is trying to decide, we can figure it out after we eat this delicious meal I made just for you.”

Somehow, he was able to put all my worries aside with just a few words. Then he watched as the turmoil broke and I was finally able to expel the breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding.

“Yes, of course. You’re right, we need to eat.”

As though on cue, my stomach let out the loudest growl I had ever heard escape my body. Embarrassed, my face turned bright red.

Zack just turned his fork toward me, laughing as he chewed through bites of food. “See? Now have a seat and join me before your food gets cold.”

Resigned to the situation, I sat next to him, brushing my leg against his as I climbed onto the stool. The action drew his attention as his fork stopped in midair, just inches from his mouth. The move had been unintentional on my part, but the reaction I got out of him gave me a whole new shot of confidence. Eliciting such a response from a gorgeous man like him caused my ego to swell, just a little bit.

“After we eat, I’d like to talk with you.”

“I’d like that, too.”

“Katie, you don’t have to worry about whatever it is that you have to say. It will change nothing between us.”

“I don’t know about that. Given your career, I worry that it may change everything between us.”

Just as he was about to say something to persuade me otherwise, his phone vibrated on the counter. He reached for it reluctantly, with a sympathetic look in my direction.

“Sorry, I have to get this.”

“This is Zack.”

Watching him take the call when I was just about to ’fess up to a life I no longer lived had me second-guessing my decision to tell him everything about myself. About my previous life. About who I was.

“No, I can come into the office for a few hours to get it done. That shouldn’t be a problem.” Our eyes met as his anguish became apparent with every word. Mouthing the words I‘m sorry, he listened intently to the person still talking on the other end of the line. As soon as the caller finished, Zack hung up the phone without saying another word. It was kind of abrupt and against his usual nature, and this caused some alarm bells to go off in my head.

“Bad call?”

“Katie, I’m so sorry, but it looks like I need to be in the office for a few hours. I hate to do this to you, but apparently pipes burst down Main, and the businesses in the area can’t afford to shut down while we make the repairs. I’m going to have to work with the contractors, as well as the business owners, to try and figure out a feasible solution. I promise, once I’m finished, we’ll have the entire weekend to ourselves to talk about everything.”

“Zack, it is okay. You had no idea pipes would burst. Go.”

Scattered and trying to find his satchel with his office laptop in it, Zack scurried around the living room as I finished my breakfast. The show he was putting on in an effort to find everything while getting dressed in work clothes had me rather worked up, to say the least. I wanted to launch myself into his arms every time he passed, just to feel that security from last night all over again. The conversation we were going to have had my skin crawling and hairs standing on end. But it looked as though this time apart would be a good thing, since it would give me a chance to get the distance I needed to better prepare for our discussion.

I must have been in quite a fog during his last efforts to get ready, because his peck on my cheek barely registered. His parting words were to make myself comfortable while he was gone. It didn’t take long for the silence to become deafening, so I decided to explore the house and nearby grounds I had seen last night.

The house was enormous, and the furniture was typical Zack, surrounded by rich leather and dark woods. Even though I worried that we might not know each other well enough, I found little things that reminded me of him throughout every corner of the house. The railroad stake paperweight on his desk was just like the one in his office. It was from the early days, when the town was just forming and his great-great-grandfather had had to work with the railroad to bring more people in for what we now called tourism. At that time, they just needed the influx of traffic to keep the restaurants open and the town going. Zack always cherished stories like those; he said they kept the past alive. According to him, remembering where we had come from is what made this town so majestic in the eyes of tourists and residents alike.

I could see his rationale when we first came to town. My family and I had fallen in love with the stories of the past that made for the town’s upbringing. To me this place just felt right—like home. It was somewhere I could make roots and be part of the bigger picture of things in the community. I’d always wanted to live in a place I could not only enjoy living in, but that I could fall in love with. Meadow Pines was that place, and so much more. I’d come to realize this in just a few short years.

When I’d first met Zack at the Thomas’ summer picnic, I’d had no idea that he was the mayor. After we’d arrived, I was drawn to Zack as he recanted a story his father had once told of hikers getting trapped on the side of the nearby mountain. They’d wandered into the woods late one afternoon, only to be stranded for the night after walking in circles for hours. It had taken rescue works almost eight hours to find them huddled against a tree, right next to the ranger station. They had been so tired that they’d never even ventured past the tree. If they had just turned around the oversized trunk to the other side, they would have seen the ranger station just a few hundred yards away.

Laughing at how insane a story it was, Zack’s attention had zeroed in on me as I’d tried to take a sip from my glass of wine. He never broke eye contact with me as he continued the tale. To everyone else, the story was what had their attention; to me, though, it was the man telling it. I was still drawn to him in this way. He had become the one constant in my life that I’d never realized I was growing to depend on. Us finally ending up together just turned out to be the natural next step in a long, drawn-out affair that had started with a story at a picnic. It had never really been a true affair in the sense of the word, but an affair it had been by its mere definition.

I felt peace in his presence—well, most of the time anyway. He was the light in a dark room at every function we’d find ourselves both attending. I was still amazed that I’d never thought of going any further with him. Maybe if I had sooner, we would have been much further in our relationship than we were now, or maybe we would no longer have been in a relationship at all, since I most certainly would have ruined all my chances with him.

Stop it! Stop it right now! I told myself as doubt crept in, clouding all reason and stealing any chance I felt I had with Zack. I just didn’t know if I had it in me to be the person he needed in his life. Don’t you think that’s for him to decide? My conscience grated at my nerves. It was true I may not have been the person he thought I was, but I knew I was still the right person for him. I could tell when he’d had a stressful day. It usually didn’t take long before all the worry lines would fade from his face.

I believed in my gut that he would understand and not judge me for the decision to keep my past from him until now. He might become angry with what I have to say about the life I once led and the way it ended, but I know for certain that he would be glad I was here with him.

Looking at the clock on the wall, I realized it had been an hour since I’d walked into this room. An hour of musing that led me to conclusions that I would much rather not face. But I had to for us to start off our relationship the right way. Leaving the room to continue my exploration, I forced my thoughts aside for the short time left before he returned. I was dumbfounded at how fast the time went once I made my way back inside from the gardens. It was amazing how much the fresh air relieved the stress weighing on me. As I entered the living room, I saw Zack’s back to me, but he turned on his heel when he heard the door close.

“There you are! I was about to send out a search party for you.”

Chuckling at his own playfulness, he welcomed me with open arms that I was more than willing to enjoy as they wrapped around me.

“I was just finishing up my own tour of your place. Zack, I love this house!”

“Oh good. I’m so glad you do. It was hard to find a place after the fire, but this house drew me in right away.”

“I can see why. Do your parents like it, too?”

His last house had been the one his family had lived in for over fifty years. It was hard to reconcile the loss of everything in the fire with how amazing this place was in comparison.

“They do love it, but they miss some of the history associated with the old house.”

“I’m sorry, Zack. I forgot how much you and your family lost in that fire. You grew up there, and your parents lived there for most of their lives. It must have been like losing a loved one.”

A tear slipped down my cheek, and Zack softly brushed it away with his thumb.

“You remind me of myself when the fire just happened. I was a basket case just thinking about how my parents would react. But do you know what my mom said?”

Puzzled, I just held onto him, watching as he remembered her reaction.

“She said, ‘Zack, it’s just a place. The memories we had there cannot be destroyed by anything, let alone a fire. Stuff can be replaced and houses can be rebuilt, if that’s what you want. You being safe is all that matters. Not some silly place with walls and stuff inside.’”

My tears began to fall again just thinking of her response. Zack’s mother was one of the bravest people I had ever had the fortune of getting to know.

“She’s amazing,” I said, before realizing I had spoken aloud.

“That she is. Plus, she’s right, so that helps a lot, too. It was just a house with stuff inside. Thank goodness no one was injured—or worse, killed. I still wonder how the fire started, though.”

“I thought you said it was an electrical fire, an accident?”

“That’s what the fire department said, but I’m not so sure. I had the wiring checked regularly. The place was old and repairs were getting out of hand, so I made sure to have all the fixtures, panels, and outlets checked regularly for any issues. Old wiring is tricky at best, but with the new upgrades I had done to the place a year before, I found it best to try and avoid any issues from happening in the first place.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Zack. Things like that just happen.”

He didn’t look convinced at what I was saying, and I wasn’t sure I should keep trying to convince him, so I decided to let it go—for now.

He pulled us both from our internal turmoil by changing the subject.

“How was your tour? Tell me all the places inside and out that you explored while I was gone.”

“Before I do that, how did it go?”

I wanted to make sure everything was okay with the situation he had left to deal with.

Zack pulled back to get a better look into my eyes.

“You really want to know, don’t you?”

“Uh, yes?”

Alarmed by his reaction, I found myself a little taken back by his bewilderment.

“I’m sorry, I just never thought to tell you about what happened.”

“Why? You know how much I love this town. I want to help however I can to keep it such a wonderful place.”

“You really mean that, don’t you?”

“Of course.”

My brows furrowed in indignation at his words. I’d thought that he knew me better than this. He’d been the one saying, I know you better than you think. I pay attention, Katie. Had all that just been a line to get together with me? Suddenly questioning his sincerity, I took several steps back to get away from his touch.

“Shit, Katie, I’m so sorry! Wait a second, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I just didn’t think about telling you what had happened, that’s all. Please forgive me, I’m such an idiot! I’m just not used to having someone to share my day with is all.”

That made sense. He was not used to having someone to share his burdens and successes with. It made me think that he was probably just getting his footing with us, like I was.

Once he was within reach, I pulled him in for the kiss I’d been dying for since he’d left earlier. As our mouths touched, I couldn’t help but pull him closer still. I wrapped my legs around his waist as his hands cupped my ass to keep me right where he wanted me. I was snug-tight against the bulge outlined by his jeans. As I twisted into a more comfortable position, his gasp made us part, eliciting a drawn-out fuck from him. Usually not one for such brazen language, he claimed my lips again at an angle that allowed his tongue to delve deeper into my mouth.

“Jesus, Katie!”

We gasped for breath as he continued pressing his fingers into my ass, keeping me wrapped around his waist.

Half-lidded eyes stared back at me as we panted, trying to catch our breath. Once we found ourselves starting to regain our composure, he lowered my legs down to the floor, still holding on tightly as I slid down his body.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I just don’t want to go any further until we’re ready.”

As I looked down at the bulge threatening to escape its confines, I giggled.

“He may have other plans.”

Looking at the tight material against his erection, I couldn’t believe how he was able to get that inside those jeans.

“It’s not always this hard, but you seem to do that to me whenever we are together.”

Giggles escaped my lips again as Zack tried to adjust himself to a more comfortable position.

“Stop giggling, little girl, or I may have to make you sorry.”

“How would you do that?” I responded, not missing a beat.

“Oh, I have my ways. Don’t push me.”

I gave him a little wiggle with my shoulders, my breasts swaying back and forth just enough to elicit a moan from him.

“Stop it.”

He twisted again in an attempt to regain some composure and relief.

“Maybe I want to see how you’re gonna stop me from giggling.”

Before I was able to turn on my heel and run across the room, Zack picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder, smacking my ass as he made his way to the couch.

“Ow! You big brute! Put me down.”

“You done giggling, little girl?”

“Yes! Put me down, Zack!”

But a rogue giggle escaped anyway, and I’m promptly rewarded with another smack against the other cheek.

“O! Damnit, Zack! Put me down.”

“Nope. I quite like smacking your delicious ass. Now, be a good little girl, and I won’t have to torture you anymore.”

I was hardly able to breathe from all the laughing and the angle he now had me in. Then he flipped me onto the couch, making me bounce onto the cushion.

“Are you ready to surrender?”

Scooting back only to find myself pinned between him and the armrest, I smiled as I watched him stalk his prey.

“Um,” I hummed as my breasts swayed back and forth as I rocked from side to side.

“Nope, can’t say that I am ready to surrender.”

When I turned to make my way off the couch, Zack grabbed a hold of my legs to keep me still and quickly eased his way up my body. He was covering me completely, pinning me down with his weight.

“Now I got you.”

Just as he was beginning to kiss his way up between my breasts, I experienced a flashback of Randall pinning me down to force himself on me. I screamed as the vivid images suddenly surrounded me.

“Fuck, Katie!”

Zack quickly got off of me, but it was too late. I was stuck in the flashback, once again enduring all that had happened to me. Tears streamed down my face and I clenched my legs against my chest, unable to get the memory to stop playing. Rocking myself into the fetal position, I simply waited for the scene to finish playing itself out.

“It’s okay, Katie. It’s just me, Zack. It’s okay. Whatever is happening right now, I’m here for you.”

As the rocking began to subside, I felt his arms around me, pulling me into his broad chest. He stroked and soothed me with his words of love, engulfing me in his protective arms. I was stunned at how quickly he could talk me out of the flashback that had invaded our special moment.

“Shush. Relax, and just let it play itself out. Everything’s alright. I’m right here. I got you, babe. I got you. You’re safe.”

He chanted it over and over, as though I could hear him through the nightmare playing before my eyes.

“Zack.”

The tears continued to fall, but I wanted to accept the lifeline he’d given me.

“I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Shush.”

It was all he kept saying as I hiccupped out the words, over and over.

“Zack, I’m so sorry.”

“Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for, so please stop. It’s killing me that you’re apologizing to me for something you have absolutely no control over.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, apologizing for apologizing.

Zack just chuckled and held me tighter.

“Is this helping, or am I making it worse?”

“It’s helping. I never had anything help me before during a flashback. Thank you.”

“Baby, you don’t need to thank me. I will do anything in my power to keep you safe and protected. This is just the perk of the job I have.”

I laughed at the way he could turn a horrible situation into something completely natural.

“That’s my girl. You doing okay now?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Katie, I swear, if you don’t stop apologizing, I’m going to call your mother.”

That did it. I sat up so fast that his arms fell to his sides.

“Now that I have your attention, are you ready to talk about it?”

The look of horror on my face must have taken him back, but he was too determined to change course now. Instead, he decided to distract me by finishing our earlier conversation.

“Well, in the meantime, yes, we had a very productive meeting with the business people and the contractor. We even worked it out so that the pipes get fixed starting today. They should be done by Monday.”

I was trying to remember what he was talking about when it dawned on me that the reason he left earlier was to come up with a solution for the broken pipe down on Main Street.

“Good, I’m glad it all worked out. I knew you’d figure something out.”

I was finally able to regain my composure and catch my breath. I stared into his eyes, waiting for him to say anything to push me into talking. Instead he just waited, patiently. It was kind of uncanny how patient he was. For a politician, you’d expect that instant gratification would be a strong motivator, but not Zack. His patience was legendary.

“Can I get a glass of water?”

“Of course. Wait here, and I’ll grab you one.”

He left me just long enough to grab the water and return. I figured this was his way of ensuring that I didn’t try to escape.

“You’re not leaving me yet.”

He watched me as I took several sips.

“I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

He just smiled, waiting.

“I tend to do that around you, don’t I?”

“What?”

“Say whatever pops into my mind.”

“Not everyone hears it. Just me. I think it’s because I pay attention to you more than most people.”

“I think that’s it, too.”

“Are you ready to tell me now?”

“Zack, I never intended to hold anything back. I just spent so much of these last several years trying to forget. I didn’t want to let my past interfere with the future I so desperately want.”

“Baby, I can understand that, but after what just happened, I’m certain that unless you talk about it with me, the past may never be laid to rest. You need to do this so you can move on with your future. With me.”

How could I not have loved this man when he gave me so much, not only with his words, but his actions, too? I wanted to explain everything to him. Tell him all that had happened to me. Show him my scars, so he could heal them for both of us.

“Promise me one thing.”

“Anything.”

“Promise me that what I tell you doesn’t change the way you look at me. I don’t want us to change. I think what I need to say will change a lot of things about your ideas of who I am.”

“Sweetheart, did you ever think that the change in my feelings will actually be so much better than you imagined?”

“How do you mean?”

“If I understand correctly, something bad happened in your life to give you these flashbacks, and you’re concerned that when I find out what happened, I will see you as what—a victim? Damaged in some way from the circumstances you had no control over? That’s what you’re worried about, right?”

I once thought it was his ability to read people so well that made him a fantastic politician, but this trait was actually what made him a wonderfully supportive boyfriend. Yep, I said it. Boyfriend.

“That’s right, baby. Your boyfriend.”

As he emphasized the word, it righted my world in a way no therapy ever could.

“I was in my early twenties, in my last year of college, when I met Randall Kirkland.” As soon as I spoke his name, Zack went white as a sheet.

“Did you say Randall Kirkland?”

Oh fuck! That was not good.

“Yes?”

I barely got the word out, trying to brace myself for whatever he was about to say.

“Shit, Katie, I know him.”

I launched from my seat as though the devil himself had touched me, clearing half the room before Zack was able to pull me into his hold.

“What did he do to you, Katie?”

Sobs broke the silence. I felt like a wreck, and I needed to get out of there. I needed to find my safe place. If Randall knew I was here, it was only a matter of time before he came for me. No amount of time, distance, or a divorce would stop him from taking what he felt was rightfully his.

“Jesus, Katie, I wouldn’t let that happen! Just talk to me, and tell me what happened. We can figure this out. You and I can get through this together. I know we can. But you have to talk to me!”

My world felt like it was coming apart, but Zack kept his arms tight around me. For security or to make sure I didn’t run, I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that when I was in his arms, I felt safe and protected in a way I had never felt before. I liked that feeling. I never wanted that feeling to end.

“Come back and sit down, and tell me what happened.”

He guided me across the room to the sofa, then kept me in his arms as I began to tell my story.

“I was a waitress at this restaurant Randall frequented. We would flirt, but it was all so innocent. When he asked me out on a date, I didn’t hesitate, but I said yes to him not knowing who he was, or what he was like outside of the occasional encounters at the restaurant. I was so naïve. I played right into his charm and good looks.”

Zack just continued to hold me, not commenting or saying a word.

“We got married at the courthouse shortly after we started dating, surrounded by most of my family and some of our friends. I didn’t know until a few weeks later he had kids.”

Surprise flashed on Zack’s face, but he remained silent as I continued with my story.

“At first I was shocked. There were so many of them I couldn’t even keep their names straight in the beginning, but eventually I decided that his kids were now my kids. Even though that wasn’t what I had been expecting, I realized we’d probably just been too overwhelmed with each other and let some things slip through our minds.”

I looked over to see his expression, but Zack stayed his stoic self, patiently listening and offering support by tightening his hold on me.

“Randall’s work also took him around the country at a moment’s notice, so we really didn’t have the luxury of talking about our lives a whole lot before the wedding. I was so in love with the idea of being in love that I overlooked a lot of things that normally would have raised a lot of concerns in me.”

“Like what?”

“Like my mom not liking him from the get-go.”

“Really?”

Shocked was the word I would use to describe his face at that moment.

“But your mom likes everyone!”

“Obviously not. She always hated Randall. He would try to charm her by taking her out, buying expensive meals, treating us to the spa. Nothing worked. For some reason, I decided that it wasn’t a big deal that she didn’t care for him. I was the one marrying him, not her, so what did it matter in the end?”

“Uh-oh.”

“Yeah, uh-oh is right. After she found out we got married, she was livid with me for making such a bad decision. She refused to allow him to step through her door. I was still able to go to her place, but not Randall or the kids.”

“The kids, either?”

“My mom just said that something wasn’t right with this whole situation, and refused to be sucked into the drama of it all. She insisted I come over every week to see her, but as for the others, she put her foot down.”

Zack shook his head, not believing that this was the same woman he knew from the community center. The same woman that had regularly invited everyone over for cookies afterward.

“Oh, she was right to be. I learned this after a few weeks living at Randall’s house, where I cooked all the meals, tended to the children, and took care of all the ‘womanly tasks,’ as he liked to call them. Randal also insisted I quit school at the time, as he said it was getting in the way of our life together.”

“You were how close to graduating?”

“About a year away.”

“And he insisted that you quit?”

I nodded, blanking out when I recalled the argument that had erupted into our first fight.

“When I said no, that we could use the additional income for when we had more kids, he backhand-slapped me so hard across the face that I fell to the floor.”

Even now I could feel the pain that had radiated from his slap, and I unconsciously brought my hand over my cheek.

Zack broke at this; he couldn’t help it. The woman he loved had been hurt so badly by this man that she’d carried all of this torment with her, even all these years later. How could he listen to the horrors she had endured when he was already so wound up he wanted to punch something? Or better yet, someone in particular. Trying to not give into his rash feeling of anger, he took several steadying breaths.

“I don’t have to continue with this, Zack.”

“What? Why?”

“You look like you’re about to kill someone, and I’d rather it not be me that gets into that particular line of fire.”

“No, no, no. I would never ever do that to you, or anyone. You know that, right? Well, how could you after what you’ve been through before…”

He just kept rambling on after that. Most of the things he said made no sense, but other things were clear. He was pissed as hell, and he wanted to kill Randall for hurting her.

“Zack, please calm down.”

“Calm down? How can I calm down when I just found out that someone brutally hurt the woman I love and I can’t do anything about it? I assume there is much more to your story, too. That son of a bitch should be in jail for what he did.”

“Zack, stop it, or I won’t be able to tell you the rest.”

I could tell he wanted to know, but he wasn’t sure how much restraint he had to keep from going off the rails. He wouldn’t care about his career. Someone had hurt the woman he loved, and in his mind, they would have to pay. After taking several deep breaths and counting to ten a couple of times, I was relieved when he came back to sit on the couch beside me.

“Okay, please continue.”

I was unsure I should after his reaction, so I just waited to see if he meant it, or if he would change his mind.

“It’s okay, go on.”

“After he hit me, he apologized profusely, saying he’d never do it again. That I just made him so upset that I would put my needs ahead of our family’s needs without even discussing it.”

“Oh, he’s a real piece of work. Blaming you for him hitting you. Piece of shit!”

“Zack! Maybe we should forget talking about this right now.”

“No! You need to get this out. I’ll listen and try not to react anymore, I promise.”

“You sure? Because I really don’t think this is a good idea anymore.”

“I’m sorry. Please continue.” His patience was wavering; she could see it on his face, hear it in his tone.

“If you’re sure.”

“Yes, please continue.”

“Afterward I decided to quit school and concentrate on our family. He was making enough money for us to live comfortably, so I also quit my job.”

Zack kept his mouth shut, but his eyes gave away his distain.

“It wasn’t until the office Christmas party a few months later that we had the chance to take our honeymoon. I set it all up, thinking it would be a wonderful surprise. With it being the main ball room, I thought this would give us a chance to really enjoy the festivities. Did I ever tell you what I wanted to be when I graduated college?”

“A few times. You said you wanted to work with professionals as their assistant, helping them by being the go-between that enabled them to have the freedom to work unencumbered by the plights of the world surrounding them, or something like that.”

“Yes, exactly! Wow, you really have been listening.”

“Well, when it comes to you, I waited with bated breath for your next words.”

We laughed together at this. I felt more relaxed already, and since he needed to know the rest of the story, she continued.

“I went to the Christmas party with the intention of showing off my ability to work the room. I figured Randall would be pleased that the woman he’d married could handle herself, unlike the other wallflower wives that just sat in the corner. We had decided to meet at the party, since he had so much work to do. I just figured that his friends would tell him about how well I fit into their circle.”

“When he arrived and slipped an arm around my waist, I was pleased to see him smiling down at me. He came in close for what I thought would be a…”

“Why’d you stop?”

“Do I tell you about these parts? How does this work, exactly? Do you want to know all the details of when we were together?”

“Well, I don’t need to know all the details, but the picture you paint does help me understand more about how you were feeling at the time, so I guess yes, continue. But if it’s about sex, I don’t need to know unless it’s specific details about him hurting you.”

“That makes sense. Anyway, I was expecting him to lean down and kiss me, but instead he leaned in held me tighter, threatening to hurt me once we got upstairs.”

“Wait, he knew about your plan to stay and go upstairs?”

“That’s what I didn’t understand at the time. I never told him anything about my plans. In fact, I had just booked the room a few hours earlier, and we hadn’t talked before the party.”

“So, he knew about the room before you got to tell him.”

It wasn’t a question, but a statement. It was as if Zack was putting the pieces of a puzzle together, only the puzzle was my old life, and the pieces he was putting back together were me.

“We continued on with the party since we had to keep up appearances, but all the while he held me close, no one questioned it any further.” Pain coursed through my body at the memory. “It hurt, Zack. He pulled me so tight to him, and at some points he actually choked me with his arm around my neck.”

“Jesus, honey.”

He held me as though I was most precious package in the world. Realizing I could be to him, I squeezed his arm for reassurance and continued telling my tale. After a few hours recounting my horrors, I was finished.

"He never wanted a mother for his children. He wanted a servant for them. All of this was so he did exactly as he pleased.”

“My God, honey, what you went through. You were so worried when you first started telling the story that it would change my mind about you, and I’m sorry, but I have to tell you that it has.”

Crushed and defeated, I fell back against the couch, but he wouldn’t have any of it. Shaking me and forcing me to look into the bluest eyes I had ever seen, he pulled me forward as he sat on the coffee table in front me.

“You are without a doubt the bravest person…” Kiss. “Strongest person…” Kiss. “I think I ever had the privilege to know.” Kiss. “I was falling in love with you before you told me all this, and now I’m certain of it. I love you, Katelyn Elizabeth Shephard.”

“Yeah, about that…”

“What?”

“My last name isn’t actually Shephard.”

“Of course, you changed it back to your maiden name after you left that bastard.”

“Well, not really.”

“I know.”

“You know what?”

“I know it’s not your real last name.”

“How?”

She just blinked as a tear slid down her cheek.

His thumb brushed the tear away.

“I’ve known for a while that Shephard wasn’t your last name.”

“Oh, God.”

“It’s okay, Katie.” He took my hand between his much larger ones. “I understand now why you had to lie.”

There it was, the ugly word lie.

“Zack, you don’t understand.”

“I do understand.”

“Wait, how did you know it wasn’t my real last name? When did you find out?”

“I’ve known for a while now.”

“How?” I asked again.

But he just remained silent, running his hand anxiously through his hair.

“Damnit, Zack! How did you find out?”

Startled by her shouting, he blurted out the answer I didn’t want to hear but needed to, all the same.

“My security detail told me about six months ago.”

“Oh, God! I’ve got to go.”

“No, it’s okay. You explained why you did it. I understand now.”

“Who you told, exactly?”

Silence.

“Who, Zack? Who knows that Shephard isn’t my real last name?”

“Only my security detail knows, and…”

Stumbling backward, Zack suddenly realized his mistake.

“Randall. Katie, wait!”

“No! Six months! Six months Randall has known where I was, and I had no idea! Do you know what he could have done during this time? To me? To my mom? To my family?”

“It’ll be okay! We’ll figure it all out together.”

“No! Nothing is okay!”

I ran to the guest bedroom and slammed the door, then threw all the clothes she had taken to stay the weekend back into the satchel she had brought. With garments not even folded properly, the zipper wouldn’t close, and she was trying to force it by simply holding it together.

Then Zack burst through the door.

“Where are you going?!”

“I’ve got to leave right now!”

I saw him coming toward my side of the bed and decided to just leave the zipper.

“I can’t stay here.”

“Don’t go Katie. We can figure this out. Together, remember? You’re not alone anymore.”

“Shit! Did Randall ever go to your house?”

“No, he’s never been here before. I concluded my business with him a few months ago. Why?”

“Not this house, your other house. Did Randall ever spend time in that house before the fire?”

“Why yes, he did come by for a few drinks once…You don’t possibly think?”

“Why not? If you told him who I was, then he would have seen you as a threat against his plan.”

“Oh shit. Wait, my security detail…”

“Wouldn’t have known to watch his every move.”

“But the electrical fire…”

“Started in what room?”

“The office. I just assumed the old wiring couldn’t hold up.”

“Did they check the outlet to see if anyone put anything in with the plug?”

It was a thing that Randall had always worried about with his kids. That they would wrap tiny pieces of paper around the socket before plugging it into the wall. And then, when someone put the light on, a spark would pop out as the breaker flipped. He had become obsessed with unplugging cords from walls.

“You think he burned my house down because I mentioned who you really were?”

“Did you?”

Scared and worried, she waited for his answer.

“No, I didn’t mention you to him. He may have seen your picture on my website, though.”

“What picture? I don’t remember taking a picture for your website.”

“You wouldn’t. It was from a community center function, and we were in the distance, chatting away. It was such a wonderful photo of the community coming together that I displayed it on the site for everyone to see.”

“Oh, God! Don’t you see? He burned your house down because we were talking together! He’s crazy!”