Aubrey
I wake unrested and impossibly more tired than when I arrived yesterday. Removing the sleep from my eyes I blink, wide-eyed and slowly, working to bring the room around me into focus. The room, although designated a guest room, has been specifically decorated for me. Something Dad would have hired someone to do for him. While the neutral base of the room is obvious, splashes of color bring the space to life. Throw cushions, a large armchair and a soft rug brighten the room with their red hues. Pictures I’ve taken cover a large portion of the walls. All scenery, some subdued by grey scale, others vibrant in their color.
I take so much comfort in this room. Appreciating that while it’s not my dad’s style, he’s always done his utmost to make me feel at home. Both emotionally and physically, all the minor touches adding to his effort.
Patting the softness of the comforter, I search for my phone and am relieved that even at eleven in the morning, David has not attempted contact. He would have definitely seen the note, a creature of habit, he would have come home to eat and sleep before heading back to work this morning.
Disappointment also sets inside of me. Ridiculous as the hope may be, my phone is empty of calls and texts. Meaning nothing from Jake.
Switching the phone off, I throw it back into the mess of the bed and move to get up. I sit along the edge for a few minutes, letting the softness of the carpet massage my toes. Finding a robe in the bathroom, I wrap the thick material around my frame and slowly make my way through Dad’s home towards the kitchen and the smell of waffles moving through the house.
“Sweetheart, was just going to wake you. Sleep well?” Dad greets, moving to blanket me in his warm embrace.
“Morning, Daddy. I slept fine,” I lie. “Even better, woke to the smell of waffles.” I pull back slightly to smile up at him, and he squeezes my shoulder before moving to the table.
“Come, eat.”
Settled at the table, Dad pours us both coffee, as I begin eating. I love Dad’s waffles, always made from scratch, their soft and fluffy on the inside with the right amount of crisp on the outer layer. Freakin’ delicious.
“Noticed all the bags in the entryway, Aubrey, seems you’re not just crashing for a few days,” Dad prompts, lips to his coffee, eyes to me.
For such a serious and guarded man, his eyes are uncharacteristically kind and approachable. They project a warmth I’ve never let myself appreciate until this moment. They’re set behind a thick-framed pair of glasses, somewhat shielding them from anyone that may try to read further into him. I guess they’re a mechanism of defense, an additional form of armor against people wanting to know him more. This used to make me sad, but now I see a contentment in his gaze, and for the first time in my life, I consider that maybe he’s happy enough in life to want to keep strangers at a distance.
He lets me contemplate him for a few quiet moments as he drinks his coffee. His dark hair shows more greys than I remember, offering an air of notability, distinguishing him as a gentleman. It’s neatly trimmed, his face clean-shaven, of course. I actually can’t recall a time I’ve ever seen my dad sport facial hair. He’s too modest, too clean cut for that.
His posture is strong, almost rigid, but he’s fit and considering he’s nearing his late fifties, he’s still kinda got it.
He shifts in his chair, his dark eyebrows rising above the frame of his glass. Offering him a tight smile, I nod a few times, moving to grab my coffee cup. “David proposed… I think that’s what it was, anyway. More suggested we get married,” I start and I watch my dad place his mug back onto the table and rest his jaw in the palm of his hand, focusing his attention solely on me.
“I gather by the bags it didn’t work out best… for him.”
“Daddy, I’ve done something and I think that you’re going to bear the brunt of it. I just… God. I tried to leave David months ago. You know, I tried for so long to find happiness with him, but it took so much effort that it started diminishing who I was. The last few years have slowly eaten away at me until... I don't recognize myself anymore.”
Concern pours from the kindness in my father’s eyes, and I force a weak smile.
“David threatened me, or more he threatened you.”
“Excuse me?” The menace in his tone is not something I’ve ever heard.
“Daddy,” I placate, but he shakes his head.
“Tell me. He threatened you how? Physically?”
“No,” I force out quickly, seeing his shoulders relax somewhat. “He explained that our relationship looked good for him. He alluded to the fact that he pursued our relationship in the beginning to further his career.”
The look of shock and disbelief crosses his face and I feel for him, how foreign this feeling of uncertainty would feel to him.
“His threat came about when he told me that he had the power to vote you off the board. He told me he could destroy your position in the company if I left.”
He laughs, the sound scornful and angry. “God, Aubrey. Why didn’t you come to me?”
I shrug. “I knew you’d always choose me. You’d forgo your career to give me happiness. I wanted to do the same for you.”
“You’ve been living this way for months? What type of father am I that I didn’t notice.”
“Daddy—” I start, but he cuts me off.
“Aubrey, David has as much power to have me voted off the board as I do him. Nil. Our board consists of over twenty people, Aubrey. Both inside directors as well as shareholders. He just can’t have me voted out because he feels like it.”
“But he said you were pushing back on ideas, you said that to me yourself.”
“Aubrey, sweetheart. That’s business. Motions are passed. Others are not. He holds none of the power he alluded to.”
He seems sad. His hand covering his mouth in worried contemplation. “We should go to the police.”
“No.” I lift both my hands to stop him continuing. “Honestly, apart from the threat, he basically left me alone. I actually think in some warped part of his mind he didn’t see the blackmail as significant as it was. He truly thought we’d go on with our lives, get married, have children.”
“Good God.” He looks so broken down. So lost and I know he’s punishing himself for introducing us in the first place.
“Daddy, I am fine. Better than. Truth is, I would’ve gone along with David’s plan, but something pretty big happened to make me realize that I couldn’t do it. Even if the fallout hurt you, I couldn’t do it anymore.” I bite my lip, struggling to check the emotion I suddenly feel at admitting that out loud.
“Something or someone,” Dad queries, and I feel sick.
Dropping my head into my hands, I begin to cry. For what, I’m not sure. Dad’s chair shifts closer, his hand rubbing along my back as he makes soothing noises.
“Do you hate me?” I ask, lifting my head slightly.
His hands stop abruptly, and he looks at me completely confused by my words. “Hate you? Why…?”
“It was someone… I fell in love with someone else. I cheated. I lied. I did wrong, by not only David but I also hurt Jake… I… God…. I’m such an awful person. Please don’t hate me,” I cry again, and my sobs come louder as thick drops of salty water drop from my eyes.
“Hey, hey, sweetheart,” he soothes, pulling me forward and I bury my face into his neck. “Aubrey, sweet girl, I would never hate you. It’s not possible. I want you happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, surely you know that. Maybe lying and cheating isn’t the best way to find your place in the world, but you were pushed into a pretty tight corner. I don’t blame you for finding comfort elsewhere. Your happiness is what’s important to me in life. Nothing else compares.”
Moving back, I scan his eyes. “You’re not disappointed I couldn’t find happiness with someone like David?” I ask, using the back of my hand to wipe my nose.
I watch Dad’s eyes flick to my hand before he moves to grab me a tissue, rolling his eyes affectionately. “No. Frankly, Aubrey, I hope something hideous happens to the man. He never seemed to suit you anyway… how can I….” His eyes scan my face before he offers a soft smile. “You’re so much like your mother, Aubrey…I…”
“I was afraid you would think that,” I hiccup and he recoils, completely taken aback by my words.
“Afraid? Why in God’s name would you be afraid of that?” he questions, brow furrowed.
“You’re such a good man, Daddy and I know that you could’ve made her happy. But she left you, never gave you the chance to prove that to her. I hate that you think I could never love someone like you,” I answer, eyes downcast to the table.
“Aubrey,” he breathes. “Trust me when I tell you that Clarah tried, sweetheart. By God did she try and we did love one another, at least a little. But truth be told, your mother burns incredibly bright, much like you do,” he smiles at me. “While I loved Clarah, probably always will a little, we were ill-suited. Clarah needed a man to love her completely and passionately. Me? I…. Well…. As much as I tried, I will always be married to my career. I live for my work, Aubrey. As much as it pains me to say, I couldn’t give Clarah the life she deserved, she knew that and I’m not stupid, Steve always owned her heart. I just borrowed it for a little while. I’ll never regret what she and I shared though because above everything, she gave me you.”
I return his smile and reach out for his hand, squeezing tightly. “So you don’t resent them? Not even a little?”
Taking a deep breath, he gives my hand his own squeeze before speaking. “Aubrey, you haven’t given me enough credit in this story. Your mother and I separating was a joint decision. She did not run away with her high school sweetheart like people like to gossip happened. I don’t resent them, I’m happy Clarah found her way back to someone who could give her a life she deserves. I’m not lonely, Aubrey, I have female acquaintances I spend time with. There are no complications, and I’m happy, sweet girl.”
“Good,” I breathe out, blowing my nose and wiping away stray tears.
“Aubrey, when I say you’re like your mother I mean that you’re bright and not just intellectually, you shine so effervescently, sweetheart. You bring such happiness to my life and I love seeing you take after Clarah. Trust me when I tell you it’s a good thing.”
Patting my cheek, he moves his chair back and points to my food indicating I should eat.
“Love you, Daddy,” I offer quietly before taking his instruction and eating.
Thoroughly stuffed from breakfast, I lean back in my chair, mirroring Dad’s position, resting my hands upon the small swell of my belly caused by the excess consumption of waffles.
“By Jake, I assume you mean the young fellow that works alongside Steve, Annabelle’s brother-in-law?”
Nodding softly, I confirm Dad’s thought, and he smiles across at me. “I’ve always liked him. Colorful guy, he suits you.” He shocks me with his admission, and it must show on my face. “What? I think he does, soft-spoken from memory. Balances you out,” his smile widens, and I laugh. It feels nice.
“Will you go to him from here?”
My laugh dies out at his question, and I shake my head quickly. “I don’t know if that can be fixed. I caused a bit of damage with Jake through everything. I was so scared to let David go… afraid of what the fallout would be.” I laugh sarcastically at how easily David played me. “But through it all, I couldn’t let Jake go. I knew he loved me and in the end keeping him close hurt him too much. Enough that I’m not sure there’s any going back. I’m gonna try, eventually. I… first I… I need to fix me. If that makes sense?”
Sitting up straighter he squeezes my hand again. “It makes complete sense, and if Jake really loves you and you love him, you’ll find a way to make amends. You just need to speak to him his way. Make him understand,” he finishes, moving to stand and clean away our dishes.
“Next month I’ll be traveling a bit, just around the country, meeting with a few clients. You should come, see a few different states. Take some pictures, spend some time with yourself,” Dad offers, packing the dishwasher and I turn my head towards him and offer a small smile.
“Thanks, Daddy, I’ll definitely think on it.”
“You should call your mother, update her on what’s happening and where you’re staying for the time being,” he catches my attention one last time before I leave the room.