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“Hey, Mason, you’ve got a visitor.”
Sometimes I had to remind myself of my other name, so it took me a moment to realize he was talking to me and respond.
“I do? It’s not a lawyer again, is it?”
“No, it isn’t. Don’t just sit there. I’m not waiting around all day for you.”
There was only one person who’d visit me here. Only one person who even knew I was here, that I was aware of, anyway. The thought of seeing Vee filled me with mixed emotions. I longed to see her more than anything, to touch her skin, to taste her mouth, to try to remember there was a life outside of this place, but at the same time, I didn’t want her to see me like this. My whole body ached from the beating I’d taken, and the hole in my hand throbbed and was crusted over with a thick, dark scab.
I couldn’t just leave her sitting out there. It would break her heart if I didn’t visit with her. She wouldn’t take my excuse of wanting to protect her from my injuries, even though that was the truth. Vee wasn’t a woman who would appreciate being protected from anything.
Ignoring my pains, I got to my feet and followed the corrections officer out to the visitors’ room. I did my best not to limp or hold myself at an angle. It would be a sign of weakness, and I already had enough problems. I kept my chin up, staring directly ahead so as not to catch the eye of anyone—prisoner or guard. The floor squeaked beneath my shoes, my prisoner’s uniform rough and scratching the skin of my biceps, chest, and thighs as I walked.
She was already in the room as we approached, looking out for me, anticipation lighting her eyes. Other visitors were sitting at tables around her, some already sitting opposite the prisoners they were visiting, while some had come in pairs. The atmosphere in the place was a mixture of over-emotion, people hugging and crying, while others sat back with cold indifference.
Vee was sitting taller than anyone else, her shoulders down, her neck lengthened as she watched out for me. My heart swelled with love for her, but then she caught sight of me and I watched dismay flood over her features, dimming the light in her eyes. The guard pushed me into the room, and she got to her feet and reached for me.
I pulled her into my arms and held her tight. Her presence filled my soul with the nourishment it needed to keep going in here. I pressed my nose against her hair and inhaled deeply, committing the scent of her to memory. I reached down and gently pressed my palm against the swell of her stomach, a moment to say hello to our baby as well. She’d grown bigger in the last few weeks, though the loose shirt she wore covered her bump.
Though I didn’t want to, I had to let her go. We were only allowed a brief hug hello and goodbye, and I didn’t want to do anything to give the C.O.s any more reason to act like total jackasses, even though they didn’t seem to need a reason.
We both took our seats opposite each other at the small table. She reached out to take my hand, and noticed the large blackened scab in the center of it.
She looked into my face with anger and despair. “Who did this to you?”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter.”
I noticed a couple of the other prisoners looking over at her and sudden realization twisted my gut. “You shouldn’t have come here.”
Lines formed between her dark brows. “What? Why not?”
“Your family is notorious in New York, Vee. You don’t want people seeing you here.”
She shook her head. “If you think there’s any way I’m not going to visit you, you can think again.”
“I just don’t think it’s safe.”
“I don’t care. Since when has anything we’ve ever done been safe?”
She had a point.
“What about you?” I asked. “Where are you and Nicole staying?”
She pressed her lips together, her gaze shifting away from me. “We’re back at the house.”
“The house? You mean your father’s house?”
“Yeah. I can do more from there.”
“That sounds like a really bad idea, Vee. Everyone will be able to find you.”
“I’m aware of that. Don’t worry. I’m covering my back.”
“How? How could you possibly be doing that?” Fear for her safety filled me. Sure, her father might be off the scene, and we’d taken out several of the big players here in New York, but that didn’t mean there weren’t plenty of smaller guys trying to move through the ranks. They wouldn’t be happy with Vee getting in the way.
She leaned forward slightly so she could lower her voice. “You talk about staying safe, but this is the only thing that’s going to do it. If I try to hide out and people—the wrong people—start to realize something has happened to my dad, they’ll track me down and kill me. Them thinking I’m back, and with my father’s forgiveness, is the only thing that’s keeping me alive right now.”
I pushed a hand through my hair. “Jesus, Vee. You need to get away from here. You know where the lockup is. Just take the money and go.”
“No, I’m not leaving you here. And I am using the money—it’s paying for your lawyer.”
“The one you sent here?”
“Yeah. He’s the best. If anyone’s going to get you off this charge, he will. He managed to free my dad, after all.”
“He’s the one who got your father off the charges?” I wasn’t sure I liked this new piece of information. “How can you be sure we can trust him?”
“Because if he doesn’t do a good job, he knows what will happen to him.”
“Jesus.” I’d thought her visit was going to make me feel better about things, but instead I felt like a dangerous web was being woven around us, and we were going to end up struggling to break free. “I didn’t want the money to be spent that way, Vee. It’s supposed to be there so we can start a new life.”
“We can’t start a new life if you’re locked up for murder.”
“This is killing me. I hate not being with you. I feel so fucking useless in here.”
“We’ll get you out. I promise.”
I nodded and cast my gaze downward, taking a breath. I didn’t want for us to fight. We were all we had, and the idea of us leaving on harsh words was more than I could stand.
I reached out and touched her fingertips with mine. “And how have you been?” I said, changing the topic. “How’s the baby?”
She smiled and her face became radiant. “I’d show you my bump, but I’m trying not to let anyone know. I figured they’d see my pregnancy as a weakness, and I didn’t want that.”
It was a smart move, but I didn’t expect anything less from here. “You won’t be able to hide it for much longer. You’re what, four months now?”
She nodded. “Yes, a little over.”
“You’re going to start showing soon.”
She shrugged. “Maybe not. It’s my first pregnancy, so it’ll take longer to get real big, plus I’m tall, so that’ll help hide it.”
“I need to be out of here when the baby’s born. This is hard enough, but it’ll kill me if I can’t be with you during that time. I want to see our son or daughter born. I want to be one of the first to hold him or her, and I don’t want to do it in chains.”
“You won’t. We’ll get you out before then.”
“But what happens in between? How long are you going to be able to pretend your father is only away? People are going to start getting suspicious when they have no contact with him.”
“I don’t know. I’m hoping to be able to win a little of their fear and respect before that happens. If they think they might be better off with me at the helm rather than my father, they might decide to accept things as they are.”
“And what happens when the baby is born? Or when you’re so pregnant, you’re struggling to act normal? They’re going to take advantage of that, Vee. These men, they’re not going to go all soft on your because you’re a mom. They’ll see it as an opportunity to push you out of the way.”
“I’m hoping you won’t be in here long enough for us to reach that point.”
Sudden anger boiled up inside me and I lifted my fist and slammed it down on the table. The couple of C.O.s seated around the visitors’ room glanced over at us and frowned. One rose slightly from his seat, but I lifted both hands and shook my head as a way of telling them everything was okay and I wouldn’t be causing any trouble.
“God dammit. I feel so fucking useless in here. Your father certainly got the last laugh, didn’t he?”
She fixed me with her dark eyes. “No, he didn’t, because this is just a blip. We’re going to get you out, and then we’re going to go on and live a long, happy life, the three of us—Nicole, too.”
God, I loved this woman. Admired and respected her, too. Where others would have been crying and lamenting about how shitty life was, she was focused and determined. After everything she’d been through, she still hadn’t given up.
“What are you thinking?” she asked. “You’re staring at me.”
I allowed myself a small smile, though it hurt the injured side of my face. “I was just thinking how much I love you, and how fucking lucky I am to have you in my life.”
“I’m not sure I’d call having me around lucky. Your life was a hell of a lot simpler before I came along.”
“Maybe, but I didn’t have anything to live for back then. I was only existing. Now I have everything I could ever want—you and the baby. I don’t need anything else.”
She nodded, her lips pressed together, as though she couldn’t quite bring herself to smile. “I feel the same way. We’ll get through this, just like we’ve gotten through everything else.”
I hoped she was right.