X
A loud buzzer signaled the start of dayroom.
Things had been quiet in here since I’d been accosted by Callum and his friends in the shower. Their silence worried me more than if they’d been threatening me. I’d tried to call Vee, but she hadn’t answered the phone. She also hadn’t been back to visit, and her absence gnawed at me. I’d told her she shouldn’t come here, but deep down I wanted to see her again. She wouldn’t normally have listened to what I told her, and would do what she wanted. It worried me that she hadn’t come back and that I hadn’t been able to contact her. Had Callum and his crew done something via contacts on the outside? They hadn’t threatened me again, which made me wonder if they’d already gotten what they wanted. The thought caused dread to settle thick inside my veins, and I carried it around with me at all times.
I was still trying to keep to myself, though I’d struck up an unlikely friendship with Eddie, and also with the older Jewish guy, Gil. We were outsiders, not affiliated with any of the gangs that existed in here. The racial groups stayed together—the blacks with the blacks, Hispanics with Hispanics, whites with whites. Each group seemed to hate each other as much as the next, with them continuously antagonizing everyone. The low-lying tension was constant. Most people inside here held themselves with an aggressive swagger. Those who didn’t were either the older members, like Gil, or those who didn’t fit in, like Eddie. It was like being in a more violent version of high school. They’d call Gil ‘old man’ and laugh at him, but it was worse for Eddie. They’d stamp on his glasses, or knock something from his hands, and when he bent to pick it up, they’d kick him in the back and send him sprawling. Eddie never fought back. He kept his head down, but that didn’t mean people ignored him. But a guy like him was never going to be able to fight back in a place like this.
I walked into the dayroom. Prisoners played cards or dominos, while others sat back and watched the small screen television. I planned to sit in front of the TV for a couple of hours, pretending I was watching while I was actually absorbed in my thoughts. One thing in plentiful supply was thinking time. The usual suspects were around, sitting playing cards—Callum with his friends, Shawn and Clark, the same guys who had attacked me in the yard and threatened Vee. They all glanced up as I walked in, exchanging a knowing smile between them. I didn’t like that smile. It made me think they were up to something. I spotted Eddie sitting alone at a corner table, playing a game of solitaire. I debated going over and asking if he wanted to play something else, but turned away at the last moment. I didn’t think me befriending him in front of everyone would do him any favors. I was poison in here, and if Callum decided Eddie was with me, it wouldn’t work out so well for Eddie.
Instead, I slumped down into one of the plastic chairs, folding my arms across my chest. I fixed my gaze on the screen, though I could feel people’s eyes on me, hear their low mumbles to each other and the sudden burst of laughter. My muscles were always tense in here, my neck and shoulders so tight I had an almost constant headache. That was nothing compared to my constant worry about Vee, however. I was desperate to get out of here and find out she was okay. Not being able to do anything for her, especially considering her pregnancy, was killing me inside a little more each day.
“Hey!”
The shout came from behind me. I struggled to ignore it, staring resolutely at the television screen.
A bellow of laughter followed, then chair legs scraped the ground. A bang and a flutter of paper. The commotion came from behind me. For once, it wasn’t aimed at me.
A yell and a grunt. The smack of flesh on flesh.
Fuck.
Unable to ignore things any longer, and with gritted teeth, I twisted in my seat.
Callum, Shawn, and Clark were standing around the table where Eddie had been sitting. He was on the floor now, the cards he’d been playing with scattered all around him like confetti. Callum pulled back his foot and delivered a swift kick to the fallen man.
I slowly got to my feet.
I glanced toward the door, trying to spot one of the C.O.s, but for once, no one seemed to be around.
The other guy, Shawn, kicked Eddie. Eddie curled into a ball, his arms over the top of his head to protect himself. His glasses, which were already held together by tape due to the last time Callum decided to have a little fun with him, were skewed on his face. The sight of it caused rage to rise inside me.
Though I knew it was a bad idea, I took several strides toward the men. “Move away from him.”
Callum glanced over his shoulder with a sneer. “You worried we’re going to leave a mark on your boyfriend?”
“Step away,” I said again, keeping my voice level. I wanted to reach out and snap this man’s neck in two—something I was capable of—but I kept my fists gripped at my sides. I wasn’t sure if there was a way of doing this without resorting to violence, but I planned on trying. Not that I had any problem with violence—not if it was directed at the right person—but I didn’t want to end up in the hole for interfering with a fight that wasn’t even mine.
Callum obviously didn’t share my train of thought. He lunged for me, swiping with his right hook.
I stepped back and he overcompensated, his motion sending him spinning past me. He hit one of the tables, sending a game of checkers flying. The two guys playing got to their feet, hands raised in gestures of anger.
Callum rushed at me again, taking another swing. This time I ducked and came up from below, punching him in the solar plexus.
Inmates around us started to join in, either shouting in encouragement, or trying to get in a few punches of their own. The tension in this place meant we were only ever a single action, spoken word, or wrong look away from a brawl. A fight was a release of stress, whether there was a problem with the other person or not.
I didn’t want to fight. I stepped to one side to avoid yet another thrown punch. These men were bulky from too much weightlifting, and I was on the leaner side, which made me faster on my feet.
A shrill blast of a whistle cut through the air. One of the C.O.s, Bernard Wyber, who was a decent guy for a guard, burst in, shortly followed by several of the others. They needed to come down on this hard, before it turned into a full-blown riot. Luckily, there were a number of prisoners fighting now, with too much carnage going on to figure out where the fight had originated. Callum glared at me, but he didn’t want to end up in solitary any more than I did, so he kept his fists to himself. For the moment. I didn’t doubt he’d find a way to get back at me. I’d made him look weak and clumsy in front of a lot of people, and he didn’t like that.
Eddie was still on the floor, sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees. He’d pushed himself right into the corner, away from the fighting. His glasses were still at a strange angle on his face, but he did nothing to straighten them.
I pulled the table out of the way, the legs squeaking against the floor. He flinched.
“It’s okay. Come on.”
I offered a hand to him. He looked at it nervously, and then reached out and took my grip. I hauled him to his feet, where he finally straightened his glasses.
“You all right?” I asked him, keeping my voice low.
He just nodded, not speaking, his gaze on the floor.
The C.O.s approached us. “Down! Down! Everyone on the floor!”
I’d just pulled Eddie up, but now we had to get back down again. Gradually, each of the prisoners dropped to the ground. Eddie and I joined them, lying on our stomachs, our hands locked behind our heads. The guards walked between us, making sure everyone was behaving themselves.
“We’re gonna find out who started this,” one of them yelled. “And whoever is responsible will find themselves in the hole for a good long think about what they did.”
Everyone remained silent. Snitching was never a good thing.
“And until we find out. Yard time has been revoked.”
A collective groan rose around the room.
“Shut it. The only noise I want to hear from you is a name.”
No one said a thing.
“Right, everyone up. Back to your dorms. Dayroom time is over, too.”
There were a few grumbles, but people knew when their luck was up. Besides, the buzzing tension in the room had evaporated from the air. All except from one area—Callum and his crew eyeing me as though I’d just stolen their final meal.
We all started to get back to our feet, the C.O.s shoving us back in the direction of the dorms. The last thing I wanted to do was lie down on a bunk with Callum right below me, so I slipped away and went to the bathrooms and shut myself in a stall.
There were few opportunities to be alone in this place. I put my arm against the side of the stall and rested my forehead against it. What would happen if I ended up convicted for Harvey’s murder? I wouldn’t stay here, I’d be moved to a higher security prison, but I would end up with exactly the same shit on my hands, only it would be for years rather than months. Did I have the strength for that? If I was convicted, I’d have to set Vee free. I wouldn’t have her wasting her life with me in here. I’d take her name off the visitor’s list, and not open any mail she sent me. Doing so would kill me, but it would be the only way she’d eventually move on. She’d find someone new, and he’d take on my baby as his own. Maybe the child would never even need to know who his or her real father was.
Yeah, I was feeling sorry for myself.
I needed to shake myself out of it. I wasn’t going to help anyone by wallowing.
I opened the door of the stall to find Callum, Shawn, and Clark all waiting outside.
“Hey, pretty-boy,” said Callum, stepping forward. “What the fuck do you think you are, some kind of karate expert?”
“Simple self-defense techniques,” I replied, trying not to react to them. I stepped to the right, hoping to move around them and put an end to this conversation.
“Shame you can’t use them to protect the little lady on the outside.”
My head snapped around. “What?”
“You heard me. I had some of my guys pay her a visit the other week. Man, they think she’s fine. That sister of hers, too.”
“They’d better not have touched her,” I snarled.
I thought about Vee putting a knife through my thigh the first time I met her, and I’d been armed at the time. Good luck to these guys if they tried anything with her. They wouldn’t have a clue what hit them.
“No need. They just told her what we’d do to you if she didn’t do what she’s told.”
“And what the fuck was that?”
“Relax. We want business, that’s all. A way to earn some decent money for once, instead of pulling a bunch of punk-ass armed robberies to fund us.”
“Fund you for what?”
“We gotta mission, you know,” he said, straightening his shoulders and puffing out his chest in self-importance.
“A mission?”
“Yeah, making America white again.”
I wanted to point out how America hadn’t been white to begin with, that it had been the Native Americans who had originally owned these lands, but I clamped my mouth shut. There was no point trying to have a discussion with these people. They’d been raised by parents who probably felt the same way, brainwashed into thinking anyone different was automatically bad. The fact they were the bad ones completely went over their heads.
The thought of Vee being forced to work with these assholes made my blood boil. I wanted to fix things, but I didn’t know how. Was that why she hadn’t been in to visit? Had she not wanted to tell me what was going on? Or did she hold me responsible for this newly messed up part of her life? I wanted to help her, but all I ever seemed to do was bring even more of a nightmare into her life. She’d have been better off if she’d never met me. It was too late for all that now. She was pregnant with my child and being forced to deal with all this bullshit. It wasn’t as though I could run anywhere—not that I had any intention of doing so. I wasn’t the type of guy who would leave a woman pregnant and run, even if I thought it might be best for her in the long run. Vee was capable of making her own decisions on that front.
“Tell your guys to back off.”
“And why would I do that? What the fuck can you do about it?”
He was right. It was the most frustrating thing ever, but there was nothing I could do. I needed to get out of here.
Movement came at the entrance of the bathroom and Eddie walked in. He frowned and pushed his glasses higher up his nose. “Hey, what’s going on in here?”
“Mind your own business, you little bitch.”
Eddie squared his narrow shoulders. “You’re making this my business.”
I admired Eddie for standing up to Callum for once, but I didn’t think things were going to go well for him.
Callum swaggered toward the smaller man, puffing out his chest like a goddamned peacock. “I think someone is stepping way out of line. You been to tell the C.O.s you were the one to start the fight?”
Eddie scowled behind his glasses. “No, because I didn’t.”
“Of course, you did. Now do as we say, or you’re going to have bigger problems to deal with.”
I stepped in. “Come on, Eddie didn’t do anything, and there’s no way the guards are going to believe for a second he was the one who started it.”
“Mind your fucking business,” Callum snapped, glaring at me. Something dawned across his face. “Actually, if you care so much about this little bitch, you go to the guards and tell them you were the one to start the fight. We want our yard time back, right boys?”
His friends all nodded in agreement, not that they had enough brains between them to actually make a decision for themselves.
“You don’t have to do that,” muttered Eddie, glancing away.
I felt bad for Eddie, but I couldn’t be the one to take the blame. I needed to think about Vee. If I was down in Solitary for a matter of days, and she came to the prison, needing something from me, and I was unable to see her, I’d never forgive myself. What if I got out of the hole only to learn something terrible had happened to her and I’d have been able to do something to stop it? I had to put her and the baby above Eddie. It was as simple as that.
With my stomach twisted in turmoil, I shook my head. “Sorry, Eddie. You’re on your own with this one.”
A smile of triumph spread across Callum’s face, and I wanted to punch him in the mouth and relieve him of his teeth. That son-of-a-bitch thought he had won, and in a way, he had. Disappointment hung from Eddie’s features, but he shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”
Callum gave Eddie a shove. “Go on then. Go and see the C.O.s.”
Eddie stood his ground. “I’m still not doing it.”
“What?” His lip curled in anger.
“No. Do what you want. Say what you want. I don’t care. I’m not doing it.”
“Just go, Eddie,” I said, hating the words coming from my mouth, but worrying about what Callum and the others would do more.
“No.” And he turned and walked away.
“You’re going to regret this,” Callum yelled after him.