CHAPTER 7
(KAGE)
It was the seventh night of camp, and my training partners and I were all lounging in the living room like we did every night. I never drank, but the rest of them usually had a beer or two. A couple of times one or the other of them had a little too much and ended up making a scene, but for the most part the camp had been productive and uneventful.
I’d just come down from my post-run shower and was kicked back on the sofa with a bottle of water, wearing only a pair of workout shorts and no shoes. My hair was wet and loose, and the occasional water droplet fell onto my shoulder and tickled its way down my chest. For the moment at least, life was good.
The other guys each had a girl, either in his lap or at his side, and they were all laughing and talking animatedly. Earlier in the day, two of the other girls, who were sisters, had to leave due to a family emergency. That left one girl out in the cold.
Chelsea was a nice girl, and just as hot as the others in the house, but for whatever reason she hadn’t hooked up with anyone. It had been fine when she was one of three unattached girls, but now that the other two were gone, she had no one to talk to.
I was lying on the sofa, and she came and sat near my feet. She put her hands primly in her lap and sat there, looking about as uncomfortable as a person could, and I felt sorry for her. She was stoic and proud, like a cat hoping for attention. The other girls were engaged in conversation with the guys, and she was alone. Everyone was used to me being quiet and aloof, and I was okay with it, but Chelsea clearly felt awkward without the sisters to talk to.
As she looked at the other couples, glancing at me every now and then, I could see her questioning herself in her mind. She was wondering why she hadn’t been chosen, and probably why there was a perfectly good man on the sofa with her who would rather be alone than show her some attention.
I hated to see someone hurting and questioning their own worth for no reason, and I was certain that’s what she was doing. I wanted to explain to her that the hookups in this house had been arbitrary, that there had been two more girls than guys, and that the reason I wasn’t interested had nothing to do with her personally. As I studied her dejected profile, I made a decision I hoped I wouldn’t regret.
“Psst.” I got Chelsea’s attention, and when she looked my way I smiled and patted my chest.
At first she looked at me like she didn’t understand what I wanted, but then she gradually realized that I was inviting her to lie down with me. She hesitated, then climbed warily up between my legs and rested her back against my belly, her head resting on my chest. She was stiff as a board, like she didn’t trust me one little bit.
I glanced over at the others and noticed that Jason was watching us, which was amazing because he was deep into a kissing sesh with the girl he’d been talking to. He had his hand wound into her long hair while his tongue worked lazy circles against hers, but his eyes were fixed on Chelsea and me. Jesus Christ, couldn’t he just forget about my sex life? It was as if he had appointed himself my official matchmaker, and it was his sworn duty to make sure I got enough action.
I knew he meant well, and he worried that I was lonely, but the fact that I had shit to hide made his concern feel more like prying. Already I was dreading the third degree I knew was coming, because there was no way Jason would just let a thing like that pass without comment. He’d make a big joke out of it, rag me hard, demand details of a hookup that wasn’t actually happening. But I’d deal with that when the time came. Right now, this had nothing to do with Jason, so I looked away from him and continued bonding with my fellow outcast.
Without saying anything, I pulled out my phone and circled my arms around Chelsea so that the phone was in front of her face as she lay against my chest. Then I navigated to my photo album. I had to scroll through a number of photos of the mansion and the gym, my training partners, the girls including Chelsea. I’d chronicled every significant detail of camp so that I could blog about it like Jamie had encouraged me to do.
I flipped through those images without pausing until I found what I was looking for. The first image was a selfie I’d taken of Jamie and me at the airport in Vegas, getting ready to board our flight to his parents’ house. We were both smiling and happy, but just looking at the picture no one would have guessed we were anything more than best friends. I paused on it long enough for Chelsea to get a good look, then I moved along through several random shots of Jamie. I had captured him eating, working out, flushed and sweating just after a run, delightedly flipping me off, sexy and freshly washed in nothing but a towel, and working at his computer wearing his glasses.
And then I hit pay dirt: a photo I’d taken of him sleeping. He looked so damn young, his lashes dark against his smooth cheek. The sheet was pushed back until it barely hid the goods, showing off the mouthwatering ab muscles that had really begun to emerge.
There was no mistaking the sentiment behind the photo. It was a glimpse into the heart of my attraction for Jamie, and the memory of the feeling was so powerful that it made my heart skip a beat. Chelsea sensed it, too, because she cranked her head around and looked at me, searching my eyes. Then she smiled, letting me know that she understood. In that moment she and I were friends. We’d never spoken a word to each other, yet we’d probably communicated more in those few silent minutes than our housemates had during the entire week.
Exposing myself to help someone else’s feeling felt good, and I decided that no matter what happened, I was glad that I did it. She and I lay there on the sofa for a while, taking turns playing mind-numbing apps on my cell phone, content in the knowledge that we may have been outsiders, but we were outsiders together.
Eventually, she and I both got up and shuffled off to bed at the same time. Let the rest of them speculate if they wanted. I was beyond caring. Chelsea left early the next morning, but before she did, she found me and gave me a big hug.
That night, we were in the living room again. Same scenario as the night before, minus Chelsea. I watched the couples interacting and found myself wondering if they would keep in touch after camp, or if the entire thing was just a matter of convenience. I really wondered who the girls were, if they’d been hired, or if they were just fighter groupies, friends of Ray… I had no clue, and I wasn’t about to ask.
I was getting used to the sounds of the house, the laughter of the girls, the low murmur of the guys talking, the splashing when they decided to take it out to the pool. We’d settled into a routine, and I suspected I might miss it just a little bit when it was over.
Earlier in the evening, Jason had ribbed me about Chelsea just like I’d expected. “Dude, I saw you two getting cozy on the sofa, and then she took off this morning. What happened? She couldn’t handle that monster dick?”
I shrugged. “I think she left because she was bored. You guys already hooked up, then those other two girls left. Can’t blame the girl for feeling a little like the odd man out. What was she supposed to do, sit around and watch you guys having a good time? I’m too focused on training to be much company to anyone.”
“You mean you didn’t hit that?” he prodded. “You both got up and went upstairs at the same time.”
“Nope. We just went to bed. Separately.”
He shook his head and regarded me with disbelief. “I don’t know if I believe that shit, man. You’ve got to be hard up with all these half naked girls running around here. Watching me and the guys get our freak on. That doesn’t make you crazy?”
“We already had this discussion. You know I’m not doing anything until after the fight.”
“I told you that no sex before a fight is just a crazy superstition. There’s nothing to it.”
“And I told you I don’t care if you believe in it or not. I do. I think different people’s bodies work differently. I need to keep my edge, and abstinence works for me.”
Jason shook his head. “You’re Michael Kage. You could bang a bus load of NFL cheerleaders an hour before a title fight and still have your edge.”
“I don’t need sex,” I said.
“Well you damn sure need something. You’re a walking timebomb, Kage. I know you better than most people, and I’m used to your moody ass, so I know something’s off. I love you, man. You know that. But Brody and Sam are a little freaked out by you.”
“I don’t give a fuck what they think. I’ve been perfectly nice to them, so if they don’t like me, that’s on them. Now I have to take a shower. So unless you want to take it into the bathroom, this discussion is over.”
Jason cursed under his breath and stalked off. I heard a crash.
“Speaking of a walking timebomb…” I yelled after him. Then I went to my room, climbed into the shower, and let the water spill over my sore muscles.
By ten o’clock, I was drifting off to sleep on the sofa. Hip-hop music thumped on low volume through the central stereo speakers, providing a backing track to the laughter of the girls, and all was right again.
I’d never admit it to him, but I understood what Jason had been trying to tell me. During practice, I was more aggressive than I’d ever been— more like when I was in an actual fight. He could recognize the difference. I was high during the workout, lost in some alternate universe where nothing else existed but me and whoever was in my face trying to hurt me. I was a junkie, and my drug of choice was adrenaline. That was no mystery to anyone who knew me, including Jason. He was just worried because it had never been this bad. I knew it, and he knew it, but sex with some fighter groupie wasn’t going to help me.
The only thing I could do was exhaust my body so badly that I could barely move. Only then could I feel peace.
On this particular night, my peaceful slacking off on the sofa only lasted for a total of about forty minutes before the buzz of my cell phone jolted me out of it. Strange, because it was a message from Steve, and he almost never texted me. Sheer curiosity had me opening it without a second thought.
“This happening now,” it said. The cryptic message had me scratching my head until a picture message came in behind it. I clicked on it.
I had to blink several times to get my eyes to focus on the image, or maybe it was just that my brain couldn’t comprehend what I was seeing. It was Jamie standing in a nightclub, looking more precious than ever, and the sight of him made me feel all soft and vulnerable for a second. But that was before I noticed that some big roided out fucker had his hand resting on Jamie’s hip, and he was standing way too close. I almost couldn’t believe it.
Jamie was looking up at him— giving him one of those looks that belonged to me now— and suddenly I was on fire.
“What the fuck!” I yelled, unaware that I was even doing it. I jumped up off of the sofa and called Steve, walking out to the empty pool area to get some privacy. “Steve, what the hell?” I demanded when he picked up the phone. “Who is that guy?”
“I have no idea,” he said, the slur in his words giving away the fact that he’d had far too much to drink. “Jamie asked me to take him out tonight. We hit a few clubs, everything was going good. Then he asked me to take him to a gay bar.” He groaned. “I had too much to drink, Kage. Please don’t kill me.”
“Stop whining and tell me who the hell that guy is and why he’s got his hands all over Jamie. This is not fucking cool.” I was yelling, and my nosy housemates had all come outside to hear what the commotion was about. Now I was going to have to watch what I said. Jamie was a unisex name, so I figured it was okay to use it, but I sure as hell couldn’t let on that he was a guy unless I wanted my secret to be out before the sun came up. There wasn’t a soul I could trust in this house except Marco and Jason, and I wasn’t even a hundred percent sure about Jason. “Steve… I’m on my way down there, but it’s gonna take me fifteen or twenty minutes, okay? Go over there and tell that fucker to get his hands off Jamie before I kill him.”
“Are you crazy?” Steve asked. “I’m not a fighter, Kage. I can’t just walk up to a guy that big and order him to do anything. You do understand that, right? I would literally be dead before you got here.”
“God, just do something!” I was frantic, screaming into the phone as I shoved past the others and ran upstairs to get dressed. “Help me out, Steve. Tell Jamie nobody fucking cheats on me. Say anything you have to, just don’t let this happen.”
“I can’t clean up your mess for you, Kage. Maybe you should have called him. He’s so down about you breaking up with him. He doesn’t want to admit it, but you really did a number on him. I was only trying to cheer him up, but he got a couple beers in him, and next thing you know, he’s asking to go to the gay bar. He said he just wanted to flirt, but now I’m not so sure I believe that. I think he’s going for the whole enchilada.”
“What makes you think that?” I asked, pulling on a pair of jeans. If it did come to blows, I didn’t need to risk bloodying my knees on concrete. I also slipped a hoodie over my head, since my being seen in public wasn’t as simple a thing as it used to be now that my face was plastered all over the UFC website.
“Because he’s trying to find someone like you, idiot. Said he was gonna find the biggest, strongest guy in the place.”
“So he wants to find someone who looks like me. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s gonna fuck him.” Or at least I hoped it didn’t.
“He said he wanted a top who would get rough with him. Does that sound familiar, Romeo?”
“Oh, shit.”
“I know, right?” Steve slurred. “For real, though. I would love to know what goes down in your bedroom, cause you have done turnt that boy over to the dark side.”
“Focus, man. This is serious. How much alcohol does Jamie have in his system?”
“Um…” Steve paused for a minute. “Two or three beers. And he just went and got a mixed drink from the bar.”
“So he may have a buzz, but he’s not drunk, right?”
“I don’t think he’s wasted, but I doubt he’s eaten. He’s so skinny, if he sucked on a helium balloon he’d probably float away. And he’s flirting like hell, so you’d better hurry up. That man is definitely interested, and I hate to worry you, but it looks like he’s got a friend.”
“A friend like how?”
Steve sent another picture. In it, Jamie was flanked by the first guy and another guy who was almost as big. They were both good-looking, both large. God, Jamie, what are you thinking? He was a lamb sandwiched between two salivating wolves, and I couldn’t get there fast enough. What if they took him out of the club and I couldn’t find him?
“Steve, I swear I’m holding you personally responsible if anything happens before I get there.” I grabbed my car keys and headed for the front door.
Jason came running up behind me. “Kage, what’s up? Where are you going?”
I didn’t slow down. “It’s none of your concern, Jason. Back off.”
“No, I won’t back off. I’m your friend, and you’re really upset. You look like you’re about to do something stupid. Tell me where you’re going.”
“Somebody’s messing with what’s mine, that’s all. I’m going to take care of it.”
“What is it, a girl? I heard what you were saying out there by the pool, about the cheating and you killing someone. Please don’t do anything crazy, Kage. If she’s cheating on you, cut her loose. You don’t need that shit. You’ve got a fight coming up, with a contract on the line. You’re about to score what every one of us would kill to have. Don’t blow it over some cheater. Get that contract, and then you can have anyone you want.”
“It’s not like that. Anyway, don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself. I’ll be in and out of that club in ten minutes, and those guys will be sorry they ever woke up this morning.”
“Guys?” Jason asked, alarmed. “There’s more than one?”
“Only two. I said don’t worry about it.”
“I am worrying about it, and I’m coming with you.” I glanced back at Jason and discovered that while I was getting dressed, he had also gotten dressed.
“Jason, you can’t, man. You’re one of the closest friends I have, but I can’t let you come with me.”
“Why, too dangerous?” he asked.
“No, too complicated.”
I hurried to the circular drive and unlocked the doors of my Vette with the remote. Before I could stop him, Jason had climbed into the passenger seat and shot me a look that dared me to make him get out. “I’m going,” he said.
I sighed and slammed the door. “Alright, man. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. There’s just some stuff about me that maybe you don’t want to know.”
“Quit talking shit,” Jason said as we hurtled down the highway toward the club. “You knocked my fucking tooth out of my head, Kage. That’s the only thing I wish I didn’t know about you. Everything else I can handle.”
The drive only took fifteen minutes, but I knew a lot could happen in that amount of time. I was worried for Jamie, and I was also worried for Steve. Now that there were two guys involved, things had officially moved to a whole new level of fucked up.
As we neared our destination, I started mentally preparing Jason. “Okay, when we get in this club, I want you to stay focused. Don’t let any personal feelings get in your way, okay? I’m counting on you. Hopefully, I can take care of the situation myself, but there are two roid heads involved here. We’re talking big guys who probably have egos as big as their biceps. No telling if they can fight, but they’re enormous. They dwarfed Jamie in the pictures.”
That thought of those two big guys getting hold of my little Jamie made me sick to my stomach. God knows what they might do to him. He was just so fucking naive, so willing, and so eager to please.
Why hadn’t I called him? A little hurt pride wasn’t worth all this. What if something really bad happened to him?
“They probably can’t fight if they’re that big,” Jason pointed out. “Probably a couple of muscle-bound gym jockeys.”
“Well, just be prepared anyway,” I told him, sounding a lot calmer than I felt. “They may not want a fight, and even if they do, I can probably handle it on my own. I really don’t want to get you involved, but since you forced yourself on me, I guess you can make yourself useful as backup. But only just in case.”
Jason rummaged around in the duffel I kept in the floorboard with an extra set of workout clothes. “You don’t have another hoodie in here?” he asked.
“No, sorry. But there should be a beanie in the center console.”
“Alright, it’ll have to do,” he said, pulling the black beanie all the way down to his eyebrows. I brought my hood over my head, hiding my face in shadow. If we’d walked into a convenience store looking like we did, the clerk would have hit the silent alarm.
“Bet you’re rethinking that tattoo on your neck right now, aren’t you?” I asked.
“Shut up.”
I paid for valet parking as close as we could get to the club, and we hopped out and ran the rest of the way. I’m sure Jason thought I had lost my mind, but he hung with me. I couldn’t help wondering how he was going to react when we got inside that club and he learned my secret. Would he still have my back?
The club was dark and cool inside, and I had to wait for my eyes to adjust before I could see well enough to make out individual faces. I scanned the walls first, because Jamie had been standing near the wall that separated the dance floor from the private rooms. I’d been in the club plenty of times, so I’d recognized his position from the photos Steve had sent.
“Kage!” Steve’s voice rang out from a corner booth, and I rushed over to him.
“Where is he?” I demanded.
He pointed toward the private rooms. “All three of them are back there. Third door. I followed them and tried to stop them, but they just pushed me out. It’s only been a few minutes. I’ve got a bad feeling about—”
But I was already running. I could sense Jason close behind me. So far, so good. I wondered fleetingly if he’d noticed yet that we were in a gay bar.
I hit the third door running. I had no idea what I’d find on the other side of it, but I wasn’t going to wait one second to consider it. I knew from experience that the rooms were just glorified cubicles, each containing a bed-like platform with a waterproof mattress. They were designed for privacy rather than security, so the door gave easily with a loud pop.
What I saw inside made my vision go dark.
One of the guys was sitting on the bed. He had a thick arm wrapped around Jamie’s chest beneath his arms, holding him close to his body, and his other hand was covering Jamie’s mouth. His buddy was standing in front of them, holding Jamie’s legs and trying to pull his pants down. Jamie was struggling and kicking at the guy.
When I burst into the room, all eyes fixed on me. Jamie’s in particular went very wide, and he started trying to squeal through the meaty fingers clamped over his mouth.
The guy who was trying to take Jamie’s pants down scowled at me. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Get your own room.”
“This is my room,” I told him. “You know why? Because that’s my boyfriend right there, and if you don’t take your fucking hands off of him, you’re gonna lose some fingers.”
I glanced behind me to make sure my backup was still backing me up. To his credit, Jason was there. He was a little green around the gills, but he was there, and that was all I needed to know. I silently thanked Jason for insisting on coming along, because standing there facing those two giants, I realized that his presence would probably help to defuse the situation. I wasn’t scared to fight them alone, but Jamie was right there in the mix. If things got rough he could get hurt, so it was better to avoid fighting in the first place. The best way to do that was to even the odds as much as possible so that they didn’t get too cocky.
It didn’t seem to work that night. The standing guy— the one who had been in the original picture Steve sent— apparently felt he had first claim to Jamie, even over me. He dropped Jamie’s legs, turned to face me, and smiled. “He said he doesn’t have a boyfriend, and he came onto me first. In my book that’s fair game.”
Jamie made noises again through the guy’s fingers.
Jason stepped closer to me and said, “Looks to me like you’re doing something against his will.”
The guy laughed. “Nope, he said he liked it rough. Wanted to get fucked good and hard. I’m just trying to help the guy out.”
Jamie groaned and struggled against the arm banded around his chest. His eyes were full of misery and embarrassment.
I looked reluctantly away from Jamie and met the guy’s gaze. “I understand that, and I take full responsibility for it. It’s not his fault. He’s going through some stuff right now because of me, and he doesn’t understand how to deal with his feelings. I’m sure he didn’t mean to lead you on.” I sounded like Dr. Phil, but what I really wanted was to go all Bruce Lee on his ass.
“No leading on to it,” the man said. “You fucked up and lost your boy, and we found him. End of story.”
So much for rationalizing. The guy was obviously going to keep pushing until I had to drop him. I didn’t want to fight while Jamie was in the other guy’s clutches, but I didn’t know how much more I could take of looking at him with his mouth covered up and his eyes frantic.
I turned to the standing man, looked him straight in the eyes, and tried one last time to reason with him. “Don’t let your ego get you into trouble. I’m afraid if I get started on you, I won’t stop until you’re dead.”
“Oh, God,” Jason whimpered from behind me, and that was a good thing. If they saw that my friend believed the threat, they’d be more likely to believe it, too.
The man laughed. “You aren’t gonna kill anybody.”
“Don’t fuck with me,” I growled, feeling the last thread of control unraveling in my head. “You won’t be the first person I’ve killed, but you’ll be the first one I enjoy killing.”
He huffed out a nervous laugh, the first sign that I was getting to him. It was about time. Most guys were easier to intimidate, but this one had a lot more muscle than sense.
“Man, this little piece of ass isn’t worth it,” his friend said. “There’s plenty better out there. Just give him his cheating boyfriend and let’s go. They deserve each other.”
His friend gave him an incredulous look. “What? Don’t listen to this bullshit. He’s not gonna hurt anybody. I could crush his skull with one hand.”
Jason laughed from behind me. “Dude, you have no idea what you’re stepping off into right now. My friend here is the best MMA fighter I’ve ever seen in my life. You’re lucky he’s being so patient with you. If he gets his hands on you, I’m actually scared of what he might do, and that’s no lie. I’m betting you’ll be unconscious in less than ten seconds, but if by some fluke he can’t handle both of you on his own, I am his backup.”
The guy twitched toward me, and I settled instinctively into my fighting stance. Talking was officially over. Ignoring every warning I’d given, the idiot made the first move. He swung at me, but I ducked it easily, then caught him with a powerful uppercut. He wobbled on his feet but didn’t fall, which surprised me enough to let him land a sloppy but hard kick to my stomach. It knocked the breath out of me, but I couldn’t let a little thing like the inability to breathe stop me. Instead I used the fear I felt for Jamie, the hatred of the two men who were trying to take him from me, and the anger toward myself for ever letting him out of my sight. I took all of that emotion and channeled it into my fist as I blasted the man’s temple. He crumpled to the floor, and I didn’t hesitate. I mounted him and bashed his face over and over with my fists, a mindless slave to the blood thirst, until Jason finally pulled me off of him.
The other guy had released Jamie and was cowering instinctively away from me. “You’re smarter than your friend,” Jason told him. “This didn’t have to happen. He tried to walk away.”
The guy nodded, but wisely kept his mouth shut.
I couldn’t speak for myself. I crossed that line, and I was doing my best to reel my emotions back in. My breaths were coming strong and heavy, not because I was out of shape, but because I was just that mad.
I turned toward the door and found Jamie, Jason, and Steve all staring at me, waiting to see if my tantrum was over. It was. It was also time for us to get the hell out of that club before anything else could happen. I motioned for them to follow me, and we escaped through the front door and into the night.