All eyes are on me, but the deepest intensity bores through me from across the fire. Diesel’s ice-cold stare penetrates me to the core. I don’t know what’s more troublesome … when he’s ignoring me or when I have his undivided attention.
“Lil. Truth or dare?” Of course, I turn to my only ally.
“Dare.” She grins devilishly.
I could dare her to do something out of character, but like I said, she’s my only ally. Although it would be fun to see her let her hair down, so to speak, I don’t want to set the tone for what she retaliates with.
“I dare you to straddle Xander’s lap …” I watch her mouth drop open in anticipation for what I may have up my sleeve. “And kiss him for ten seconds.”
She lets out a relieved breath. She quickly fulfills her easy task. The game is pretty tame with mostly truths until it’s Keyser’s turn.
“Truth or dare, Diesel?”
“Dare! Time I show you pussies how this game is played.”
My stomach trips on itself. Who in the hell in their right mind taunts the person issuing the dare? Keyser’s nefarious smirk is telltale of what the hell he is about to unleash.
“Okay. Just remember you asked for it, pretty boy.” His grin widens with satisfaction. “I dare you to give Lourdes a lap dance for an entire song. A real one too. No half-assing. I’ll pick the music.”
I suck in a strangled breath. His eyes meet mine, and for a second, I wonder if he’ll go through with it. Keyser cues up the song “So Far Away” by Martin Garrix, and Diesel rises from his spot next to Melissa. Her face distorts in obvious disapproval, but this only gives me a small sense of satisfaction.
Apart from Xander, the guys hoot and holler, egging him on. Diesel walks stealthily toward me, and I have to look away. That damn swagger of his gets me every time. With a single unspoken nod, Gable gets up from the chair next to me. Diesel reaches down and pulls me up to him in one tug. I stumble, courtesy of Jack, but his other hand wraps around my waist to steady me.
He lowers me to the chair like he’s lowered me to the bed so many times. I suck in a nervous breath, willing my heart to remain strong. More memories of our off-the-charts sex flood my mind. My skin heats under his touch, and I hate my body’s betrayal. God, how much time do we have left with this song? My will is holding on by a thread. The minute he straddles my thighs, my pussy aches with recognition. His thick pink cock is mere inches from where I need him. He shamelessly places my hands on each of his hard thighs. I can feel his muscles flex beneath my palms.
“Relax, princess,” he whispers before he begins to roll his hips above me.
“Don’t be so full of yourself,” I retort. “I’m fine.”
“Fine, eh?” He rolls his hips more slowly this time, causing my breath to become even more labored. “Is that why your pussy is soaking wet for me?”
My cheeks heat as I look around to see if the others can hear him. Before I can assess further, he stands. I foolishly think it’s over, but then he drops to his knees and spreads my legs. He makes exaggerated movements with his head, pretending he’s going to go down on me without committing to the actual act. His face remains a foot away, but his inhalation is unmistakable. He just sniffed me, and now he knows. He winks, and my throb becomes more pronounced. He crawls up my body, and I try to squeeze my legs close.
He shakes a lone finger at me as he pries them back open. He rises to stand between my legs while lifting his shirt ever so slightly. He pretends to stroke himself through his jeans, and the guys make barfing noises in the background. The song is ending, and I’m desperate for the reprieve. Then I see it. The view that’s meant just for me. The tip of his dick protrudes from the top of his jeans. He was rearranging his package to give me a sneak peek.
“Okay, perv. The song is over.”
He moves the game along to Gable, but his eyes hold mine for a beat as he mouths, “I smell you.” I reach down to retrieve my Jack. I’m flustered and need something to do with my hands so I don’t pull him back on my lap. Maybe if I’m intoxicated enough, I won’t feel the guilt when I come to the thought of him tonight. This time, I’ll finish.
He dares Mitch to make out with Melissa. I’m guessing to even the score for her or to show how little she means to him. Either way, Mitch doesn’t hesitate and neither does Melissa. She gives quite a performance at sucking his face. It’s just too bad Diesel looks unfazed. If she was hoping to get back at him, I’d say it was an epic fail.
This whole ordeal is pretty juvenile with no point. Several sex-related questions are tossed around, but none are shocking or eye-openers. The guys seem to respect Xander enough not to delve into his sexual history, so Lily is spared. The dares are somewhat tame—no nudity or overly sexual acts. To err on the side of caution, I’ve chosen truth and then opted to take a drink instead of answering the question on the rest of my turns. It’s quite a clever concept until Jack knocks me on my ass.
I stumble away from the group, informing them that I’m going to take a piss. Sure that I’m not being followed, I walk farther down the beach and then onto a vacant property with unkempt trees and tall grass. I’m sure in the light of day, it’s an eyesore, but the abandoned property is away from the main roads. The path blurs before me as the liquor takes me further into drunkville. I manage to squat against a tree to do my business, but my attempt to drip-dry by shaking proves to be a step too far for my equilibrium.
I fall on my ass with my shorts around my ankles—not my finest moment. The ground around me swirls as I work to slide my shorts back up. Shit. I’m cutting myself off. When I get back, I’ll tell them I’m out.
I head back in what I think is the right direction until I realize I can no longer hear the music blaring. Did someone turn it off? How long have I been gone? Surely, they wouldn’t leave me. I scan the trees around me, but I’m bathed in complete darkness. I pat my jeans pocket, but my phone is back where I was sitting.
Twigs breaking in the distance give me pause. I want to alert to my location so I can be found, but what if it’s a wild animal. Okay, maybe not at the beach, but you never know. Should I run? A flashing light causes me to hold up my arms to shield my eyes.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, wandering off like that?” It’s Diesel, and he doesn’t sound amused.
“I said I was going to pee,” I murmur.
“Yeah, and the house Reckless Ambition is renting was maybe ten yards from where you were sitting.”
“Well, I didn’t fucking see it. You didn’t have to come searching for me.”
He’s on me in seconds. “Yeah, ‘cause it’s not like you were lost or anything.”
I inhale his scent, picking up on what must be a new cologne. My pussy clenches for the millionth time tonight … traitorous bitch. I tug at his shirt, desperate to have him closer.
“What are you doing?”
“Smelling you,” I admit. “Like you smelled me earlier.” I inhale once more, the effect just as dazzling as the first sniff.
“I was smelling the sweet essence of your pussy. Made me unbelievably hard. I wanted to pull those tease you call shorts aside and bury my dick deep between your thighs.”
“So why didn’t you?” I ask audaciously. I could bring up the fact that he said he wasn’t planning to ever fuck me again, but I keep that to myself.
“You’re drunk.”
“I’m horny.”
“Obviously.”
“So what are you going to do about it?” I palm his dick, and the hardness spurs me on. I feel powerful. “You know you want to fuck me.”
“Not a chance, sweetheart. My cock doesn’t have a say in who I fuck. I meant it when I said I wasn’t fucking you again. Especially not this drunken version of you. The alcohol is fueling this assertiveness.” He leans closer so that his mouth is grazing my ear. “You’d regret it in the morning, and Melissa is waiting back at the campsite for me.”
The mention of the pawn’s name is like splashing ice water on my libido. The verbal slap is sobering and hurtful. I push him off me, ashamed at my lapse in judgment.
“Noted. We better get back then. Wouldn’t want to keep your girl waiting.”
Something indiscernible passes over his stupid face, but it’s gone in a flash. He shakes his head before turning to head in the direction he came. I follow in silence, pieces of my heart disintegrating with each step. The power I felt just seconds ago has withered into oblivion. I’m desperate to have it back. How could he be so dismissive?
I plot my revenge as we get closer to the group. I will make him feel the hurt that I feel—to know what that other shoe feels like. The guys are almost all packed up when we return. Lily runs over and gives me the biggest hug.
“You scared the shit out of me. I was only a few minutes behind you so imagine my fear when I went to the house, and you weren’t there. Drunk and wandering off don’t mix. What if a serial killer had gotten to you?” Lily rambles when she’s nervous, but it’s part of her charm. It seems her imagination is just as creative as mine, too.
“I’m fine, Lil.”
She looks over at Diesel, and I follow her gaze. He has his arm wrapped around a pouting Melissa. I look away. Game on.
“Psst.” Mitch summons me over as I wait for Keyser and Gable to pack the cooler and blankets. I assume he wants to hit on me although he doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell with me. I’m not prepared for his advice.
“You’ll never get what you want standing on the sidelines, love. You have to show up, make your presence known, and take what you want. If not, the one willing to do what you aren’t gets the fish.”
He looks over at Diesel and Melissa before walking away. The fish reference is peculiar, but I get what he’s saying. Somehow, he was able to piece together my feelings for Diesel. In short, if I don’t put my bait on the line, Melissa will get the fish. Well, something along those lines. The question is … is he worth it? I’m not even sure what the hell I did wrong … Why should I put forth all the effort?
My stomach picks this moment to purge Jack. I bend over and hurl into the sand until dry heaves wrack my body. Lil is there in seconds to hold my hair, leaving a disapproving Xander to shoot daggers at me. I’ve managed to ignore him all night—too preoccupied with Diesel. I wonder what he thought of his little lap dance. Xander walks over and hands me a paper towel he dipped in the ice water left over from the cooler.
“You need to learn your limits,” he suggests coarsely.
I wasn’t the only one drinking, so for him to single me out is progress. Minimum but noteworthy. His brother instincts are hidden but still intact. The coolness from the paper towel is refreshing. I nod Xander’s way but don’t answer as I walk back slowly to the house with Lily by my side. The moonlight reflects off the ocean and is so serene to look at. The stars twinkle in the sky, and the breeze coming off the water feels nice. I wish I could just continue to take it all in and not have to think about the obvious. I have a lot to think about once I’m sober. I need to decide how to move forward with Diesel. I have to choose to fight for us or let him go for good. Either way, I have to be realistic about what each path will look like, and I need all the clarity in my favor. I only hope I don’t lose myself in the process—that I have the strength to follow through. I will not be the girl he first met back in Alabama. Mitch is right about one thing; I can’t stand on the sidelines and let life happen to me. I have to be an active participant in the outcome. Cliché as it may be, tomorrow is a new day.