Chapter Thirty-Six
Bree
When I turned over the TV remote dropped to the floor. I woke up and wondered when Nathan had turned it off. Who knows how long I had been watching; all the news stories had started to blend together.
Poor Nathan.
I sat up in our motel bed and looked at him. He was rumpled and irresistible in his sleep. I brushed his stubbled cheek, and that's when I saw the book of matches.
It wasn't a surprise, Nathan always seemed to have matches though he didn't smoke. Except these were new. I didn't recognize the logo and not a single match had been struck.
"Dino's Bar," I read underneath the logo.
Even without leaning down, I could smell the whiskey on his breath.
It wasn't fair for me to be angry with Nathan. There was no reason for him to sit around with me in the motel room if all I did was fall asleep in front of the TV.
Then I remembered the last time he had gone and left me waiting for hours.
I shook my head and slipped out of bed without waking him up. We were in so deep, together, that I couldn't believe Nathan would lie to me anymore. I was the only one who knew his real name now.
So what if he went to the little dive bar we saw down the road and had a night cap? It was probably safer for him to go out on his own. Just because I hadn't been feeling brave enough to do the same by myself, didn't mean I should be mad at Nathan.
I pulled on my jeans, the last pair that hadn't been picked for Mrs. Cramer, and tugged a t-shirt over my head. I could have woken Nathan up and let his hangover be his punishment, but I had been too hard on him lately. Ever since we had pushed that old sedan over the cliff, I’d felt adrift. Nathan was the only person I had to cling to, and I was almost drowning him.
So, instead of waking him up, I decided to go out and get us bagels and coffee. Delicious, strong coffee. Nathan would feel great after a cup of any coffee not made in a motel room.
I put one hand on the door then clenched the other in a fist. I couldn't leave. I hadn't done my hair or makeup or put on the three chunky layers that were now Mrs. Cramer. Just the thought of it suffocated me. It took a long time for me to drag my hand off the door and head back to the bathroom.
I scrubbed my face clean then wanted to cry as I slathered on foundation that was one shade too dark for my complexion. Then I swiped thick eyeliner on with a now-practiced flick of my fingers. The mascara took longer because I had to apply multiple layers in order to get Mrs. Cramer's desperate look.
Next came her hair. I brushed it out and then covered it with mousse. I flipped my head over, ratting underneath until my scalp hurt. Then I whipped it back up, smoothed it down with little spritzes of hairspray. By the time I was done, I could hardly breathe in the bathroom.
I peeled off my nice lacy tank top and prepared to put on my new identity's multiple layers. I still couldn't breathe, and I had to grip both sides of the sink while I tried to suck in more air.
"Mrs. Cramer, you are one hot piece," Nathan said from the doorway.
"You're not funny," I said, still struggling for a deep breath.
Then I looked up and saw what Nathan saw: me posed over the bathroom sink in nothing but a lacy bra and my nice-fitting jeans. My hair was soft and shiny, though a bit overblown. And my eyes were huge with graceful, long lashes.
"See?" Nathan came into the bathroom and snaked his arms around my waist. "Sure, you look a little different, that's the whole point, but I still see my gorgeous Bree."
It felt so good to hear him say my real name. "I'm glad I'm still alive sometimes."
Nathan dropped a light kiss against the back of my neck. His hands grew soft and started to drift up and down my bare belly. "You are very much alive, Bree."
I wriggled my bottom against him. "You going to help me feel alive?"
He groaned as he devoured my neck with kisses. I leaned into his hands and one drifted higher to tease my sensitive breasts.
"Fair warning, Mr. Cramer." I spun around and caught him in a deeper kiss. "I might call out the name Nathan while we're in bed."
"Oh, Bree." His tongue savored my name and turned my blood to molten lava. Then he pulled back. "Bree, there's something I have to tell you."
"Now?" I decided to keep my early deductions to myself. I nuzzled his chest. "Are you sure?"
Nathan let his head drop back as my tongue explored his hard pectorals. Then he gritted his teeth and took another step back. "Yes. I'm sure. I have to tell you now."
I fluffed up my hair and batted my thick eyelashes at him. "Sounds serious. Like a confession."
"It is," Nathan said. "I went to the bar last night. You had already fallen asleep, and I didn't want to wake you. I know you haven't been feeling so great lately."
I tried out a pout and Nathan looked ready to fall to his knees and beg forgiveness. So, I laughed. "I know about the bar. Might want to use mouthwash next time."
"Bree, I'm sorry. I should have told you I was going out. I didn't mean to worry you," he said.
"You didn't worry me. I slept the whole night. And, you're right, I've been feeling… I don't know, kinda hopeless lately." I turned to the mirror, struck a pose, and fluffed my hair again. "Though I think I'm starting to like my new look."
Nathan came back to admire me closer, his body pressed to my back. His hands swept up my bare stomach, skimmed over my lace bra, and brushed my hair up so he could kiss my neck. I reached behind and pulled his hips closer, rubbing against his growing hardness.
Sparks of desire crackled through my blood as Nathan's hands drifted back down to gently cup my breasts. He turned me so our lips could meet then squeezed me tighter against his chest. His tongue teased me in the same rhythm as his thumbs brushed my nipples to attention.
"Not here," I said.
I led Nathan out of the bathroom and across our small motel room to the hard, armless chairs at the table. He sat down, grabbed my waist, and kissed the butterflies in my stomach. Then he peeled off my jeans and hooked his fingers in the waistband of my lacy panties.
"I feel like I'm cheating," Nathan said. "Poor Mrs. Cramer."
"Hi, my name is Bree." I leaned down and gave him a long look at my breasts before I caught his lips in mine.
Nathan pulled me closer and nudged my legs apart. His breath pumped hard against my lips and his kiss became wild and rough. I loved when he lost control and took me but today I wanted the power, I wanted control.
I stepped back and knelt, my fingers unbuttoning his pants. Nathan's hands hovered then reached for the chair seat. He clung to it, his body rock hard, as I slowly dragged his jeans and boxers off. His impressive erection widened my eyes even as it made my mouth water.
I leaned forward and licked upward. Nathan's body rocked with pleasure and I smiled. Then I slowly kissed the engorged tip, letting my tongue taste until Nathan's breath was ragged. One slow, twisting plunge, then I dragged my lips back up his shaft and felt him pulse with barely restrained passion.
Nathan grabbed my arms and lifted me up in one swift move. I straddled his legs and he yanked my panties out of the way before plunging me down onto him. So deep and every inch of him throbbing inside me. My body took over, and I rode wildly. Nathan bucked off the chair as we both came together.
He fell back in the uncomfortable chair with a look of complete bliss, and my heart was so light it floated up. For the first time in weeks, I felt carefree again.
I was even able to think ahead and see the fun and adventure in our life on the road. "I think I'm starting to like the Cramers. They could be fun people. Don't you think?"
"I'll think whatever you think if that can happen again," Nathan said.
I got up and pulled my jeans back on. "You know what would be fun?"
"Doing that again?"
I slapped Nathan's bare knee. "I'm going to go to the motel lobby and get every hokey, crazy roadside attraction brochure they have. The Cramers would stop at every one."
He chuckled. "And we should go to county fairs and rodeos, all the way from here to El Paso."
I stopped and studied him as he pulled his clothes back on. "El Paso?"
Nathan frowned. "Did I say El Paso?"
"You still want to go, don't you?" I felt a chill and pulled on a sweatshirt.
He pulled on his boots. "It's just something the bartender said last night stuck in my head. He was from around there and remembered the cartel grabbing people off the street. Anyone."
"Even kids?" I asked.
"I don't think they care as long as the person does what they want."
I wrapped my arms around me. "And you think that has something to do with Maggie?"
Nathan gave me a pleading look. "All I'm saying is that I don't think I can just leave the Maggie thing the way it is. I have to know what happened and what part I might have played. I mean, we're not really doing anything else, are we?"
"Kind of kills my stupid roadside attraction idea." I sank onto the edge of the motel bed.
Nathan knelt in front of me and took both my hands. "We'll start at the largest jar of jam. I saw the brochure when we checked in."
I let him kiss me and whisper silly little assurances against my lips. Nathan was right and the sense of purpose that came with his plan slowly seeped into my chilled body. It gave shape to this new life, and I realized that was what had been missing.
"We can talk about going to El Paso." I put my hands on Nathan's shoulders and kissed him again. "But first we're going to get pancakes."