Chapter Forty-Three
Nathan
I turned around and watched Bree from the deep shadows inside the mission church. The sunlight played on her hair, making her look bright and warm, like honey. I wanted to go back outside and gather her up in my arms. Just beyond where she sat was the interstate highway that would take us to California.
Bree stood up and stretched. I was glad she didn’t turn around, because I would have lost my nerve. Instead, Bree bounced down the steps and found herself a more comfortable place in the shade. It was farther from the mission steps, closer to the small crowd milling around the flower garden, but it was far enough away she wouldn’t hear me question the security guard again.
My stomach cramped, and I knew it was because I could already see the hurt look in Bree’s eyes. I just didn’t want to worry her any more than I already had. When we had first heard of the cartel, Bree was terrified. So, I hadn’t told her that the more I thought about the connections, the more worried I was that the cartel had something to do with Maggie’s disappearance.
It was enough that Bree knew about my crazy dreams and my blocked memory. She didn’t need to know my paranoid conspiracy theories on top of all of that.
So, I slipped back into the mission sanctuary and then down the hallway to the gift shop. The security guard saw me coming and met me at the door.
“Lost?” he asked.
“In so many ways,” I said. When he smiled, I took a chance. “I just realized how close we are to the border, and I wondered if you’d had any trouble like we’ve seen on the news lately.”
The security guard’s face turned stony. “This is a place of God. Usually pretty peaceful here.”
“So, you’ve never heard of the New Mexico City Cartel?” I asked.
His eyes narrowed. “And you heard about them on the news?”
I gestured to the window where we could both see Bree stretched out on an old bench. “We were thinking of heading along the border, but I don’t want to put her in any danger.”
The security guard didn’t believe my bullshit any more than Bree, but he was a polite Texan. “Everyone around here’s heard of the New Mexico City Cartel. Kind of like the Bogeyman. They operate this stretch of border.”
“What does that mean, exactly?” I asked.
He tipped back his hat and scratched his forehead. “You know these are fool questions to ask around here, don’t you?”
“That’s why I figured you’re the only one I can ask,” I said. “A good army man would let me know if I was heading the wrong direction. Right?”
“Then I’m gonna tell you: take that pretty girl and head straight to Vegas. You’ll live a lot longer there,” the guard said.
“What does the cartel do with tourists? I thought they would want to avoid contact as much as possible,” I said.
The guard waved me into the gift shop so we couldn’t be overheard. “Tourists are the exact contact they want. Distracts from all the different ways they have to move product over the border.”
“Drugs? How?” I asked.
“Boy, you best let off this train of thought,” the security guard said. “This cartel you are so curious about is dangerous. They’ll kidnap a pretty girl and make her boyfriend carry kilos of uncut cocaine through the airport. If he doesn’t make it, the girl never comes home again.”
“Has anyone ever gone missing from around here?” I asked him.
“It’s not exactly headline news in these parts, and, if it is, you think those cartel men let it be broadcasted?” The security guard pulled out a chewed cigar but did not light it. “Hell, I know a man was thrown into a van, not three miles from here. Last anyone heard of him, he’d been thrown in San Quentin for drug smuggling. God knows what the leverage was, but it couldn’t have ended well.”
I shifted my weight from foot to foot, then decided I had to ask. “I think I met one of those cartel men once.”
I started to describe the man who had recognized me but the security guard held up both hands. “Now you’re just talking crazy. If you’ve had so much as a brush with one these people, your luck has run out. Best get your girl and get out of town.”
“What if I’m done running?” I asked.
The security guard took his hat all the way off and laid it on the counter. “What exactly are you asking me here?”
“I’m asking if you’ve ever heard of a man named Adrian being connected with the New Mexico City Cartel.”
“Oo, boy, you have got a serious death wish,” the old guard said. “You be smarter to head north.”
“And if I was stubborn?”
The security guard pulled his hat back on. “Then you’d go get a drink at La Puerta Roja. Be careful what you ask for around there, though. You might just get it.”
He refused to say anything more. I wanted to buy something, make a donation, anything to show my gratitude, until I realized all he wanted was me as far away from him as possible.
I had to pause on the steps of the mission because the afternoon sun was blinding. When my eyes finally adjusted, I saw Bree sitting in the shade. She looked even prettier there, a cool breeze lifting her hair, the shadows and sun glimmering over her face.
Then the breath left my body. All I could imagine was her being whisked away in a van. They would tell her I was in danger and make her carry drugs into a crowded airport. And Bree would do it. I was starting to realize she would do anything for me and that scared me most of all.
Even more terrifying were the lengths I would go to in order to get her back alive.
I walked toward her slowly, taking the time to mentally destroy all the gunmen we’d run into, anyone who might want to harm Bree.
As soon as Bree saw me, she glared up at me. “What took so long?” she asked.
It was there, the suspicion and betrayal in her eyes. The one thing that Bree had asked of me, complete honesty, was the one thing I couldn’t give her. It didn’t matter that I had convinced myself it was for her own safety. I was holding back and it hurt her.
“You found a nice spot in the shade. Almost makes me like Texas weather,” I said.
Bree popped up as soon as I sat down. “You were gone a while. What were you doing?”
“Praying?”
“That would have been more convincing if you didn’t ask it like a question,” Bree pointed out. She crossed her arms in front of her. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. It won’t change anything. I’m still here for you.”
I wanted to kiss her but settled for catching her hand. “I haven’t remembered anything. You’ll be the first person I tell.”
Bree yanked her fingers free. “So, what were you doing in the mission?”
There was no way I could tell her. It was impossible to explain that the only way I knew how to keep her safe was to find out everything I could about the gunmen we’d crossed paths with. I had no hard evidence there was a connection, so it was just speculation. Bree didn’t need to get scared over some silly conspiracy I had cooked up in my damaged head.
“I just wanted to see if there was any other clue,” I said. “I wish we knew for sure if Maggie had been here or not.”
Bree was torn. I could see in her eyes that she wanted to comfort me but that she was still upset. Even though she could tell I was holding something back, she still wanted to make me feel better. Her struggle tore a hole in my chest.
“Nathan, you said you would tell me everything.” Bree started toward the car and didn’t look back.
She didn’t even glance over when I started the car and headed us in a new direction. Bree looked out the window, and I wondered just how far away her thoughts were. Farther than Topeka.
I wanted to tell her everything but, more than that, I wanted to keep Bree safe. I cared for her too much to share all my fears. So, instead, I drove us toward La Puerta Roja in silence.