Chapter Thirty-Five
Nathan
"If you're going to doze off then I'm going to check the score of the game," I told Bree.
She snapped awake and held on to the TV remote. "What game? Since when do you care?"
There were shadows under her eyes, and I knew she hadn't been sleeping. Little naps here and there in the car did not count.
I reached for the remote. "Why don't you just turn it off? We can relax a little bit, take a hot shower, then go to bed."
She shook her head and changed channels. "I just want to see the headlines.”
It had become a nightly ritual for Bree to search all the news stations. It only made her more stressed as she searched for any mention of us. Things had been quiet, and I didn't know whether that was good or bad for Bree. If we heard a story about our supposed crash, then she fretted about all the small details. If we didn't hear anything, then she had to start accepting the fact that our old lives truly were gone.
I leaned on the bed and tickled her neck with my lips. "A nice hot shower together is much more relaxing."
Bree leaned away from me and changed the channel again. I went to the bathroom myself but I was too antsy to get in the shower. We had been holed up in the car or in a motel room for way too long, and it was starting to drive me crazy.
When I came back out, Bree had dozed off again. I turned the volume down low but kept the TV flickering in the hopes she wouldn't wake up. Then I slipped out our motel room door and headed down to the parking lot.
Like always, I took the long route and kept my eyes sharp. We hadn't seen any signs of the gunmen, but now it was easy to imagine other people in the shadows. There was a national bulletin about the couple from the car crash, and anyone could be looking to make some money from the tip line.
Everything was quiet but I decided to leave the car anyway. It was a nice night, and I really needed the fresh air to help me think. Around the corner and about a mile down from the motel was a little dive bar. I turned in that direction and set off slowly so I had time to breathe and relax.
I felt guilty leaving Bree behind in the motel room but she was so exhausted. Every day she sat upright and tense in the car, no matter how many miles we covered. When she slept, it was in little doses that she burst out of with a frightened look. I hoped the droning of the TV would let her sleep for a few hours all together.
And, to be honest, I needed some space.
Bree was trying to be helpful but her worry and her constant nagging about our new clothes and looks and names was getting to me.
Life on the run was wearing us both down.
With that in mind, I stepped into the dive bar and ordered a shot of whiskey. "Thanks," I said when the bartender poured it right away.
There were only a few scattered people in the place, mostly people passing through. The regulars sat at the bar. I hesitated to join them but then remembered my new look.
"Busy night?" I asked the bartender as I sat down.
He snorted. "Non-stop around here."
I ordered another whiskey and a beer chaser. "Don't worry, I'm not driving."
The bartender nodded. "Good. We get too many people around here that think they can handle the corners of these mountain passes."
"Like that couple in the mountains." The words popped out before I could stop them.
The bartender took a shot of whiskey himself. "They still haven't found the bodies. Bet the wild animals around there took care of what was left."
I shuddered over that gruesome alibi, then took a sip of my beer. "You heard anything else about it?"
"Just that they are winding down efforts. Guess if there's no big outcry from the family, these things just kind of fade away." The bartender headed over to pour someone a draft beer.
"Don't worry, sweetie. I bet you're a good driver." The older woman's lipstick was fresh but her breath smelled of gin and stale cigarettes.
"Thanks."
She was clearly a local, a heavy drinker, and looking for a lot more than I was willing to give, but it felt good to have an easy conversation for once. Everything with Bree lately had been laced with worry and regret.
"What's your name, handsome?" the barfly asked.
I chuckled. "You can call me darling."
The older woman smiled. "Where you from, darling? Where you heading?"
The questions were simple, asked as a lightweight small talk, but they made my stomach sink like a stone. "Sorry, I came here more for the drinking than the conversation."
"Well, excuse me," she said and moved on to the next man at the bar.
I watched her go and wondered if I would ever be charming and relaxed around strangers again.
"Don't feel bad." The bartender poured me another shot. "She hits on everyone and then forgets that no one was interested. She'll be back around if you're not careful."
"Thank you, sir." I raised the shot and then slammed it back. "Do I hear a little Texas in your talk?"
The bartender grinned. "Not many people catch it anymore. We get all kinds here in Utah and everyone just starts to sound the same."
I nodded, glad for a casual conversation. "Where in Texas?"
"Little town, no one knows the name of it. Just outside of El Paso," he said.
The mention of El Paso had me grabbing for my beer. I took a long, slow drink to calm myself down. "Bet that's a nice place to be from."
"Now that I'm here, yeah," the bartender said. "It's not so nice down where I'm from anymore."
"Yeah, yeah, isn't that another headline I keep seeing? Something about a drug cartel." I concentrated on my beer, acting as casual as I could.
He moved off to pour a tray full of drinks for his bored cocktail waitress. Then he came back. "Sorry. What were we talking about?"
I shrugged. "Just something I heard on the news. The New Mexico City Cartel."
The bartender grimaced. "Yeah, I know them. They have a tendency for making tourists disappear."
"So, you're saying I should skip El Paso," I said.
"Nah. You'll be fine. It's just the cartel is famous for grabbing people off the street and making them do their dirty work," the bartender said.
I took another sip of beer. "Dirty work?"
"Mostly, they just turn people into drug mules, make them smuggle stuff across the border." The bartender poured another gin and tonic for the barfly.
I should have just sat quietly but the whiskey was working through my system. My tongue was on fire to talk about the drug cartel. All I wanted to do was see if I could stick together some of the odd pieces Bree and I had picked up.
"I met a guy who might have been in that cartel once," I said.
The bartender raised an eyebrow at me. "They don't usually talk about their work."
I shrugged and found it easy to play drunk. "He was a tall guy, really well-dressed, and he always carried a gun. I think his name was Aidan? Adrian? I don't remember, but he was definitely connected to the New Mexico City Cartel."
"Then you got lucky." The bartender shifted away from me, down the bar.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because you're still alive." With that ominous comment, the bartender moved to the far end of his bar and turned the TV on to sports highlights.
I took the hint and finished my beer in silence.
The barfly came back around but I stood up when she reached me. "Sorry, gotta go check on the Mrs."
"She like it when you come back smelling like booze?" the older woman asked. She waved a hand and answered her own question. "Guess it doesn't matter as long as you come back."
I walked back to the motel, feeling guilty for leaving Bree there without a note. The last time I had disappeared for a while was when I found out about the New Mexico City Cartel; the information that I still hadn't shared with Bree.
The worst was that Bree knew I was hiding something from her. Ever since that day I skipped out to the library, Bree had been watching me like a hawk. She always talked about how we were in it together.
I rubbed my chest but the guilt there was like a knife. I marched back up to the motel, determined to tell Bree everything. I didn't know what she would say when she found out how much I had been keeping from her, but I had to do it. If we were going to start our new lives together, it had to all be out on the table.
Bree was still asleep when I slipped back into our motel room. I let out a big sigh of relief before realizing I had been holding it in. I couldn't add to her worries. Instead, I tucked her farther under the motel bedspread and finally shut off the TV.
Then I climbed into bed and gathered Bree into my arms. It was hard not to think about puzzle pieces when we fit so well together.
"Don't worry," I whispered in Bree's ear. "I'll put all the pieces together and figure this out soon."
I fell asleep hoping that was possible.