Chapter Ten

PAIGE

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When Jules and I arrived at Avery and Mel’s apartment I was both excited and nervous. I wanted to expand my social circle and make new friends, and Avery had been nothing but nice to me the few times we’d spoken, but I was still nervous that she and Mel wouldn’t like me.

I’d been afraid for nothing.

The moment we’d gotten there Avery had invited us in and given us each a glass of sangria. I’d never had it but the mix of orange juice and red wine was surprisingly delicious and we fell into easy conversation.

At first we talked about school and our families, just getting to know each other, but after our third glass of the very delicious sangria, the topic turned to sex.

“So Matt really was your first?” Jules asked, staring at Avery.

She nodded, her cheeks flushing. “My first everything.”

“Like kiss, everything?”

“Well, Logan is the first guy I hugged or cuddled with, but Matt was first for everything else.” She grinned and pulled her phone out of her pocket to check the time. “Oh, and speaking of Logan, he’s going to drop by soon. Is that okay?”

“A gay man at girl’s night? Of course we don’t mind.” Jules laughed and raised her glass in cheers.

“I’m sorry if I’m being pushy, but what’s going on with you and Jay?” Mel asked, looking right at me.

“Um, we’re friends.”

I saw Jules shoot me a look and I gave a subtle shake of my head. I didn’t want to talk about Jay and whatever the hell we had going on yet.

“But you’re not together?”

“No, not like that.” At least that wasn’t too much of a lie. We were together in a weird friends-who-fuck way, but we weren’t dating.

“Oh, so do you mind if I make a move on him?”

“You like him?” I tried to keep my voice neutral.

“Yeah.” She grinned. “I’ve never kissed a guy with a lip ring, and it makes me wonder what else he might have pierced.”

“You think he has his dick pierced?” Avery giggled as she looked at Mel.

“I’ve heard stories about him. Chicks say he never disappoints and he’s a bit of a freak.” She grinned devilishly. “Even if he doesn’t he’ll still be a good ride.”

The wave of emotions that washed over me was so strong and complicated I almost dropped my glass of sangria.

Jealousy tore through me at the thought of Mel even talking to Jay, and then hit me again when I thought about all of the girls Jay had been with. Anger hit like a brick wall at my own possessiveness, and then deep longing blindsided me. Jay wasn’t mine to be possessive over. He could talk to or fuck anyone he wanted, and his past had nothing to do with me or whatever we were doing.

As Avery and Mel giggled and wondered what Jay’s dick would look like I turned and found Jules staring at me with a sympathetic look. I just shook my head at her and sneaked a glance at Mel.

She was just as gorgeous as Jules with her tall, thin frame and her long silky hair. Her features were beautiful and she moved with the same grace that Jules did. If Jay had someone who looked like her, had been with as many guys as she’d bragged about being with, hitting on him, how could I compete?

I’d slept with two guys in my life and Jay was the only one where it had been more than just okay. He’d rocked my world and opened my eyes to what sex could be like, but I was as naïve as a virgin when it came to being able to do anything for him.

Why would he want me when he could have someone like her?

“So which of the brothers do you think is the hottest?” Mel asked with a laugh.

“Matt.” Avery grinned and picked up the jug of sangria.

“Jay, obviously.” Mel grinned.

“Um, Jay or Jax,” I said in what I hoped was a casual tone.

“Logan.” Jules grinned. “Even though I’m not his type, he looks like mine.”

“Paige, you want more?” Avery asked, nodding to my cup. I looked down and was very surprised to see it was empty. When had I finished it?

“Please.” I held the cup out and when Avery had filled it for me I drank down about half of it.

Even if Mel didn’t make a move on Jay it was only a matter of time before someone like her did. He might be having fun with me now, but he’d get bored, realize he could do better and I’d lose him.

I was just the body he fucked. He’d get bored and move on while I tried to put the pieces of my heart together.

The only thing worse than falling in love with your fuck buddy is them not falling for you.

I was still in a downward spiral of self-hatred and deprecation when Logan arrived, and the moment he came in it was as though the energy changed and he brought happiness and exuberance with him.

“Ladies, the token gay is here to make your girl’s night that much more fabulous,” he announced as he flopped on the couch beside Avery and gave her a big kiss on the cheek. “Darling.”

“You’re such a goof.” She giggled and patted his cheek affectionately.

“So, are we talking about dicks yet, because I really need to talk about dicks.”

“We’re definitely talking about dicks.” Mel laughed and handed him a full cup of sangria.

“Great. So,” he looked around the room with a gleam in his eyes, “biggest one you’ve ever seen?”

“Matt’s,” Avery said promptly, laughing when Logan winced.

“Duh?” he rolled his eyes at her. “I was talking to the ladies who aren’t currently seeing cocks attached to my brothers.”

“This guy named Drake I used to hook up with.” Mel grinned wickedly. “He was hung.”

“Details.” Logan leaned forward.

“About seven inches, uncut and holy fuck he was wide enough to almost split me in two.”

“Wow.” Logan blew out a breath and looked at Jules. “You?”

“This guy I hooked up with at the end of last term. I’d say just over seven inches, but uncut and not too thick.”

“Nice.” He looked at me. “Paige?”

“Um, the last guy I hooked up with.”

“Details, please,” he prodded.

“Maybe closer to seven and a half.”

“Cut or uncut?”

“Uncut, and not too thick.”

“Just thick enough?” he winked.

“Exactly.” I felt my face flush as I remembered how Jay felt when he was inside me.

“Now you.” Jules moved her hand in the universal sign for ‘details please’ as she grinned at Logan.

“Eight inches, uncut, thick and curved down.”

“Down?” Mel grimaced. “Ouch.”

“Not for a bottom.” He grinned and drank down some sangria. “Trust me when I say he hit all the right places.”

“Is there a difference between messing around with a cut and uncut guy?” I asked suddenly.

“What do you mean?” Logan asked, giving me a smile to show he wasn’t making fun of me, he was just wondering what I meant.

“I mean, do you do anything different? In foreplay?”

“When a guy is cut you have to use lube if you’re going to get vigorous at all, and since the skin doesn’t move too much you kind of have to be careful not to pull on it. In my experience uncut guys have a more sensitive head and cut guys like it a little firmer around the shaft.”

“And it doesn’t hurt, when you move the skin?”

“As long as you don’t tug it. Why do you ask, you planning on playing with an uncut one again soon?”

I blushed and shook my head. “I’ve only seen one of each before. I was just worried I’d done something wrong by assuming they’re the same.”

“You’ve only seen two dicks in your life?” Mel glanced at me, an amused smile on her lips.

“I’ve only seen one,” Avery cut in. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Yeah, only two.” I was embarrassed because everyone was staring at me but I wasn’t ashamed for only sleeping with two guys.

“I’ve seen a lot more than that,” Jules chimed in, saving me from having to say more.

“Oh yeah.” Logan laughed. “Me too.”

“How old were you when you lost your virginity?” Mel asked everyone, but I could tell the question was directed at me.

“Nineteen.” Avery grinned.

“Fourteen.” Jules reached out to fill her cup.

“Seventeen.” Logan answered.

“Sixteen.” I looked at Mel.

“Thirteen.” There was a challenge in her voice but I didn’t even blink.

“So, let’s talk about blowjobs,” Logan said loudly, breaking the tension in the room.

As Avery and Jules started giggling I drank down the rest of my sangria. I didn’t like the way Mel was challenging me, and I couldn’t figure out why. Was it because I was friends with Jay and she saw me as competition?

All she would have to do is smile and let him know she was interested and he’d be all over her. Any guy would. Why would she care if I was friends with him, and why would she even see someone like me as competition?

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JAY

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“What the fuck?” I blinked my eyes open as something pulled me out of sleep. I was about to close my eyes again when I heard three distinct knocks on the front door.

Fumbling I reached for my phone to check the time. It was three in the morning.

“Dude, get the fucking door!” I shouted, hoping Jax was home and he’d get up and tell whoever was knocking on our door at three in the morning to fuck off.

When there was no answer from his room I figured he must be out, and wondered if I could ignore whoever was there and hope they went away.

I was still trying to figure out if I should get my ass out of bed when they knocked again.

“Persistent fucker.” I climbed out of bed and made me way out of my room and to the door, not bothering to put on a shirt, pants or slippers. It was a bit cold in the apartment so a chill brushed over my skin, but the boxer briefs I was wearing were going to have to do.

“Paige?”

I actually shook my head and blinked to make sure it really was Paige on the other side of the door.

“Hey, baby.”

“You’re drunk.”

“Maybe.”

She grinned and gave me a pouty smile that was both hot and a little amusing. Her hair was messy, her clothes were a little askew, I could smell wine even though she was at least two feet away from me and her eyes were a little unfocused.

“Did you walk here?” I moved aside so she could come in. I didn’t like the idea of her walking around at night sober, by being drunk she might as well have slapped a target on her back.

“I called a cab.” She toed her shoes off, almost falling in the process, and I grabbed her arm to help keep her standing.

“Does Jules know where you are? I thought you were going to girl’s night?”

“We went. We drank. I snuck out,” she said with a giggle.

“Where’s your phone.”

“Why?” she asked, even as she handed me her phone.

“I’m going to text Jules to tell her you’re here so she doesn’t wake up and wonder where you are.”

“You’re so smart.” She pulled off her hoodie and dropped it on the floor.

“Go into my room, I’ll be right there.”

“Okey dokey.” She gave me a mock salute and stumbled toward my door.

I quickly sent Jules a text then went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and made a stop at the bathroom to get a bottle of acetaminophen for her. Paige didn’t drink a lot so this hangover was going to hit her pretty hard.

“I thought you ran away.” Paige was sitting on my bed in her t-shirt and panties looking irresistible, but very drunk.

“Just getting you a few things.” I climbed into bed with her and handed her the water bottle.

“I’m not thirsty, not anymore.” She giggled and shook the bottle.

“Trust me, you want to take these.” I shook two pills out of the bottle for her and after a moment she took them and put them in her mouth. I watched as she drank down half the water and handed it back to me.

“Come on. Get under the covers.”

I wanted to ask her what had prompted her to come to my apartment at three in the morning while she was drunk out of her skull, but now wasn’t the time. We’d talk tomorrow when she was sober.

“Your bed is super comfy,” she said with a sigh as she slid under the sheets. “You going to sleep sitting up?”

Having Paige half naked in my bed usually meant sex, but at the moment I wasn’t thinking about fucking her. I was thinking about how soft and wonderful she’d feel if I could hold her all night, and amazingly that made my cock thicken and gave me an honest-to-goodness stiffy.

I took a second to adjust my boner so it wouldn’t be obvious and slipped under the covers with her.

She immediately snuggled up to me, putting her head on my chest as she held me close.

“You feel so good,” she almost purred as she ran her hand over my chest.

“You feel pretty good yourself.” I bit back a gasp as her hand brushed over my nipple, and when she did it again I knew it was on purpose. “Paige?”

“Does this feel good?”

“Yes, but you have to stop.”

“Why?”

“It’s late, we should sleep.”

“You don’t want me?” She pushed herself up on her elbows and looked down at me with sad puppy eyes.

“Of course I want you, but not like this.”

She was drunk. It didn’t matter if we’d hooked up a hundred times, I wasn’t going to take advantage of her in this state. I had very few rules when it came to sex, but not hooking up with anyone drunker than me was a big one.

“Why not?”

I could see tears shining in her eyes and felt terrible. I wasn’t rejecting her, I was trying to respect her, but in the moment all she could see was a rejection.

“Paige, baby.” I leaned up and pressed my lips against hers in a chaste kiss. “I want you, I always want you, but not while you’re this drunk.”

“You want me?”

“Of course. What’s wrong? Why are you crying, sweetheart?”

Large tears were slipping down her cheeks as she stared down at me, looking completely heartbroken.

“Why do you even want me?”

“What?” I pushed up so I could look into her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I’m a mess. I’m not tall and gorgeous and slutty—”

“What are you talking about?”

“At girl’s night, Mel said she was interested in you.”

“Really? What did you say, about us?”

“I said we were friends.”

The word friends echoed in my mind but I brushed it aside and tried to focus on the conversation.

“She said other girls have told her how good you are, how you’re freaky and a guaranteed good time.”

“Paige, I’ve never hidden my past from you, but it’s in the past—”

“I know. I don’t care about them.”

“Then what is it?”

“If Mel makes a move on you, then this is over and I don’t want to lose you.” Her face crumpled and she dissolved in tears.

“Shhhh.” I pulled her down so she could lay on my chest as I stroked her hair. “Paige, baby. It’s okay.”

“I can’t compete with her. She’s everything I’m not and—”

“Paige, please. Listen to me.”

I waited until she stopped crying and then tipped her face up so I could look into her eyes.

“You’re perfect, just the way you are. I’m not interested in Mel that way, I’m only interested in you. I care about you.”

“How can you care about me?” she asked softly as she searched my eyes.

“Because you’re you.” I tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and tried to keep my face neutral. I really wanted to tell her I wasn’t interested in anyone else because I was in love with her, but this wasn’t the time. She was drunk and she needed to sleep it off.

“I’m a mess,” she whispered.

“I like it messy.” I gave her a gentle smile and a sweet kiss. “Come on, let’s lay down and get comfortable.”

She chewed on her lip for a moment and then nodded. “Will you hold me?”

“Of course.”

I wrapped my arms around her as she put her head on my chest. I’d never fallen asleep holding someone before. When I did sleep with someone it was always on my side of the bed, with as little of us touching as possible because I needed my own space At that moment, though, I didn’t want anything separating us.

Holding her felt right. I could smell the lingering scent of her shampoo mixed in with the wine and her body curved to perfectly mold around me. She was warm, soft and perfect, and everything about it felt natural, as though she’d been made for me.

“Paige, baby. Stop.” I almost groaned as her hand brushed over my dick and I instantly started to grow hard. “Not now, not like this.” I reached down and gently gripped her hand to stop her. My body wanted her and my mind craved her, but it wasn’t right when she was in this state.

“I want you, Jay. Please.” She tried to wriggle out of my grasp. “I’m so horny.”

“Lay back.”

“Please, fuck me.”

“I’m not going to fuck you.” I shook my head and gently pushed her on her shoulder until she was laying on the bed beside me.

“Don’t you want to fuck me? Your cock says you do.”

God damn she was hot when she talked dirty. I was having a really hard time remembering why I wasn’t balls deep in her at that moment.

“I want you, but not like this.” I bent my head and ran my fingers up her thigh and over to her wet panties. I couldn’t help groaning against her lips when I felt how ready she was for me.

“Please, Jay. Please love me.”

I knew she didn’t know what she was saying, but I could feel her arousal. I wasn’t going to fuck her, that was a rule I wasn’t willing to break, but I’d help her out so she could sleep. She was feeling rejected and unsure of herself, I wanted to make her feel better.

I slipped my fingers under her panties and gently traced them over her slit as I bent to kiss her. She parted both her lips and her legs for me and I slid my tongue and fingers deep inside her, fucking her with my hand and mouth as I kissed her.

She whimpered under my lips, her hips arching slightly. She was tight and I could already feel her walls starting to contract, she was close.

I shifted my hand so I could tease her clit, making sure to kiss her through her pleasure. I wasn’t getting her off to ease her arousal, I wanted her to feel special and cared for.

After only a few moments she cried out under my kiss, her hands gripping at my arms as she gave into her orgasm.

I pulled my hand away from her but didn’t stop kissing her, I needed to feel her for just a little bit longer, to pour every emotion I couldn’t say into her through my kiss.

When I finally did pull away she blinked and gave me a lazy and satisfied smile. I could see sleep clouding her eyes and gave her one final kiss before pulling her down so she was laying on my chest again.

“What about you?” she asked sleepily.

“I’m fine. This was about you.” I kissed her hair and pulled her even closer.

I had a raging boner that was trying to tent the heavy sheets and comforter on my bed and I was so fucking turned on my balls were aching, but I did my best to ignore it. A part of me wanted to go to the bathroom and jerk one off just to relieve the pressure, but I didn’t want to leave the safe cocoon of my bed. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d gone to sleep horny, and it wouldn’t be the last.

* * * *

I woke up feeling warm and comfortable with a soft and small body nestled in my arms. It took me a second to remember the events of last night and how Paige had ended up in my bed at all.

At least she was sleeping soundly. I had a feeling she was going to have one hell of a hangover so I adjusted my arms so they wouldn’t fall asleep and enjoyed lying in bed with her.

Waking up with her in my arms was...perfect. There was no other way to describe it. Sex with Paige was amazing and spending time with her was always fun, but this moment was perfect. I knew right then I needed more with her. I couldn’t just be her fuck buddy anymore. I couldn’t keep my emotions separate and I didn’t want to only have the physical with her. I needed the emotional side. I needed to have all of her and give her everything I had.

For the first time since I was seventeen I wanted a girlfriend.

I felt her stirring in my arms and waited for her to wake up.

“Jay?”

“Hey.” I shifted so I could look down at her. “You look confused.”

“I am, a little.” She swallowed and blinked a few times.

“What do you remember?”

“Drinking, a lot. Then cabbing here and throwing myself at you. A lot of the details are gone, but I remember enough to be embarrassed by how I acted.” She blushed and looked down at my chest. “I remember you touching me, but then nothing.”

“Well, we went to sleep after so that’s probably why.” I grinned. “How do you feel?”

“Not as bad as I should.”

“I got you to take some pills and drink some water before you fell asleep.”

“Thanks for that. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I came here at what-the-fuck o’clock drunk off my ass and babbling like an idiot about stuff I can’t even remember. Then I begged you to fuck me even though you were trying to do the right thing...I’m humiliated.”

“Paige, sweetheart. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Consider this an extreme drunk dial.” I grinned, trying to make her feel better. “We all do and say stupid things when we’re drinking. I’m just glad you came here instead of going somewhere else where something could have happened to you.”

“I was stupid, I know.”

“Do you remember any of what you were upset about?”

She blushed and looked away.

“It’s okay, we don’t have to talk about it.” I tried to sound casual but a part of me really needed to know why she’d been so upset about the idea of me hooking up with Mel. Was it because she felt as strongly about me as I did for her, could she maybe be on the way to loving me? Or was it simply that she didn’t want to lose what we shared physically.

I vividly remembered the last time we were together. It had been hot and sexy as fuck, but then she’d dismissed me. Almost as though I’d scratched her itch so my role was over. When she hadn’t wanted to hang out I’d worried she was pushing me away and was trying to put some distance between us. I’d thought she was trying to end things.

Then last night happened.

“I’m sorry, and that’s the last time I’m going to apologize,” she added quickly before I could tell her she didn’t have to be sorry. “But this is nice.”

“Waking up together?”

“Yeah. I could do without the hangover and the whole getting wasted and showing up here unannounced, but this is nice.”

“Nah, that part made it interesting.” I kissed her temple and gave her a quick squeeze. “Are you hungry?”

“Surprisingly.”

“Why don’t you take a shower and I’ll make us some breakfast.”

“Really? You want me to stay?”

“You were the one who said we could hang out on Sunday. It’s Sunday so why not start now.”

She smiled, her eyes sparkling slightly as she looked up at me. “I’d like that.”

“Great. Red towels are mine, and you can use the new toothbrush that’s on the shelf. How does bacon, eggs and fried potatoes sound?”

“Beyond amazing,” she said, her stomach growling softly.

I laughed and bent my head so I could give her a quick kiss before letting her go so I could climb out of bed.

My boxer briefs couldn’t hide my morning wood but Paige politely kept her eyes above my waist as she swung her legs out of the bed and stretched.

“Jay?”

“Yes?” I turned, pulling my pajama pants up as I did.

“Thank you, for being so amazing.”

I smiled and nodded. She had no idea how such simple words could hit me so hard and I didn’t trust my voice not to crack if I answered her.