Mina
Another week went by, and as I was forced to take a week off work (doctors orders), I spent every waking moment with Mirella and Lidiya, learning as much as I could about the little girl’s likes and dislikes.
Turns out, Lidiya loved only one of her dolls. She was extremely attached to the Cabbage Patch Kid named Ivy Gail.
I didn’t know this. I thought she liked Cabbage Patch Kids in every way, shape, or form. So, early in the week, when Nas and I went to the mall, I bought Lidiya a new Cabbage Patch Kid, called Annabel Cherish, with some of my tip money. I got this one, because it looked a bit like the chubby little cherub. I also bought a tiny doll stroller so Lidi could walk her new friend around.
When we brought it home, I showed it to Mirella who, through a grimace, told me that although it was very sweet of me, Lidiya would likely not take to it and that she was very particular.
I was slightly devastated. And I moped.
Why would she not like my doll? I bought it just for her. She should like my damn doll! I spent fifty dollars on this freaking doll and stupid stroller.
But when Lidiya woke from her nap, I handed her the doll, and sulked all the way upstairs without waiting to see her negative reaction. I threw myself under the covers and was rudely interrupted from my pouting when Mirella called for me.
Flipping the covers down off my face, I called out, “Yes?”
I could hear her smiling. “Lidiya is asking for you.”
My feet shuffled the entire way down, but when I entered the living room, my attitude changed.
Lidiya sat in the middle of the floor with Annabel Cherish, hugging her to her side and muttering, “Eena, pay. Mine.” Then she spotted me and smiled. “Eena. Lookit.”
She stood and rushed over to me on her little legs, showing me her new dolly. I beamed, “You like it?” She thrust the doll at me and I gave it a little squeeze. “Her name is Annabel Cherish.”
Lidiya took the doll, hugging it around the neck. “Eena.”
I shook my head. “No, angel pie,” I corrected. “Annabel.”
“Eena,” she muttered as she walked the doll over to meet her kin, Ivy Gail.
Mirella chuckled. “I don’t believe it. She’s had other Cabbage Patch dolls. She never took to them. Only to Ivy.”
I smiled at the woman. “Now she has Annabel.”
Mirella shook her head lightly. “No,” she observed. “Now she has Mina.”
And that was how little Mina came to be.
Lev would come down on occasion and thoughtlessly interrupt my time with his daughter, often times sneaking in lunch or snacks with us.
A nice man with a pockmarked face and glasses who the guys called Pox came down every day that week to check on me. When I asked if he was a doctor, everyone seemed to avoid the question.
He told me it didn’t look as if there would be any lasting effects from being drugged. I was glad to hear it, not that I was worried. I took Lev by the uninjured hand and sat him down, forcing Pox to look at his finger. Lev tried to argue, but I wasn’t hearing it.
Everyone seemed stunned that Lev was allowing the man to look over him, including Sasha. But he sat in silence with my hand on his shoulder and let the doc splint and buddy tape his fingers, leaving me satisfied.
I asked for a moment of privacy with the doctor and, reluctantly, Lev watched me walk him to his car. As soon as we were out of hearing distance, I cleared my throat. “I want to thank you for checking me over that night.”
He smiled lightly. “You’re welcome. But I have a feeling you didn’t call me out here to thank me.”
“No.” I chuckled nervously. “I guess I didn’t.”
He spotted my discomfort and tried to soothe it. “Mina, whatever you tell me will be kept in confidence. Lev could beat the shit out of me and I’d never tell.”
I chuckled for real then. “Sounds like something he’d do.”
His smile fell. “Mina, when Jeremiah…” He cut himself off and spoke quietly, “Did he hurt you?”
“No!” I gasped, placing a hand to my chest. “Not in that way, no. But that’s sort of what this is about actually.” I scratched at my arm, embarrassed. “I haven’t had my period in months.”
He leaned back against his car. “Any possibility that you could be pregnant?”
“No,” I muttered. “But what if Jeremiah did hurt me? Could I have gotten pregnant?”
Pox made a hmmm sound. “Well, I’m guessing you stopped menstruating, because you were emaciated quite a while. But sometimes, on the rare occasion, women who haven’t been spotting at all can get pregnant, so although I’m not inclined to give a definite yes, I wouldn’t give a definite no either.”
It was enough beating around the bush. “I’m not on birth control.”
“Ah.” He smiled. “That’s what this is about.” He stood. “There are a handful of options. However, if you’re a little scatterbrained or work nights at a gentleman’s club and would forget to take the pill,” he winked at me, “I’d recommend an implant. There’s one—a small bar—that’s injected into the arm after it’s been numbed, and it’s good for around three years. It’s extremely popular amongst young women.” At my hopeful look, he shook his head. “I would not recommend getting that until you’ve had a chance to gain some more weight.”
I immediately argued, “I’ve already gained ten pounds!”
Well, almost. Nine-point-three pounds, to be precise.
He smiled kindly. “I’d like to see you add another ten to that.” At my glare, he caved, “Six more, at the very least.”
He handed me his card and told me to call when I was ready. I took the business card eagerly, stuffing it into my bra.
Later that week, I was undressing for the shower when Lev walked in on me.
At the look of shock on his face, I doubted it was deliberate. I didn’t judge the slack look on his face. I was shocked too. Being caught in nothing more than your plain white panties did that to you.
I opened my mouth to yell, “Get out!” but only a squeak came forth. When his cool brown eyes roamed my body, I lifted my arms to cover my bare breasts, having momentarily forgotten about the dark red hickeys all over them.
I was embarrassed. My cheeks flamed. My boobs were tiny. I looked like a young boy, rather than a young woman.
I would never—not ever—be one of those women who were comfortable in their bodies. I always had self-confidence issues. They had not improved with age.
He spoke then, and it was deathly quiet. “He did hurt you.” It sounded like an accusation. Aimed at me.
Reached for the towel, I draped it over myself. “It’s nothing.” I didn’t sound convincing.
He reached up with both hands, closed his eyes, and ran his hands over his face, slipping back up to massage his temples.
He looked ready to lose it.
“I’ll kill him,” he muttered. Then he threw his hands down, punched the door with his good hand, and snarled, “I’ll fucking kill him!”
“Lev,” I whispered fearfully. When he stormed out of the bathroom, holding the towel up, I took chase. “Lev!” My legs shook at the fear I’d felt then, but I made it down the upstairs hall and caught up with him. I stood in his way. “Lev, stop!”
He tried to move around me, but I held out the hand that wasn’t holding the towel. “Please, stop it.” He growled aloud and I shrank back, my quiet voice shaking as hard as my hand. “Lev, you’re scaring me.”
That seemed to hit home. His eyes regained focus and, panting, he looked down at my wide eyes and trembling body. His fists loosened and his face became pained. “I’m sorry.”
He was back.
My Lev was back.
My heart raced and I rushed over to him, wrapping my arm around his middle, placing my head on his heaving chest. I squeezed my eyes shut and hugged him tight. “I don’t need you to beat up every person who does something shitty to me, Lev.” My hand, behind his back, gripped his shirt, pulling him even closer. “I just need you to be Lev, okay?” I spoke into his chest, “When people do shitty things to me, that helps.” I looked up at him, my eyes shining. “You help. Just you.”
He peered down at me, confusion marring his beautiful face. “I won’t let anyone do shitty things to you, Mina.”
“No.” I shook my head. “You can’t stop people from doing what they’re going to do, sweetie.” I swallowed hard. “But after, if you could hold my hand, that would be nice.”
He did not delay.
Reaching down, he unhooked my arm from around him, led me back to the bedroom, lay on the bed facing me, and held my hand for the better part of an hour.
And something told me Lev needed it more than I did.
I was becoming bored at the house. It had been five days since I’d been at the club, and after hours of incessant begging, Lev granted me a boon, letting me come to work on the condition that I sat with him all night.
It was better than nothing. I didn’t even have to think about it. I jumped at the chance to leave the house. I was getting stir crazy.
Dressing in black jeans and my white tee with the golden elephant printed on the front, I slipped on my flat strappy sandals, grabbed my coat and met him in the kitchen.
Anika and Vik were already there, waiting for Lev. Vik came around and wrapped me in a bear hug, his enormous frame cocooning me. From the look of him, you would never guess that Viktor seemed to be the needy guy of the bunch, with all his tattoos. His body was his very own canvas to decorate.
Anika, however, eyed me as if I were ready to break at any moment. “You’re working tonight?” she asked anxiously then added in a cautious but patronizing tone, “Are you sure you’re ready?”
I wanted to bitch slap her.
Instead, I smiled. “No, I’m not working tonight. I’m just getting crazy being locked up in the house. I’ll just be observing tonight.” I added for Anika’s benefit, “Don’t worry. Lev will look after me.”
Vik grinned. “I’ll look after you, Mina.” He winked. “Hold your hand and everything.”
I tilted my head to the side, pouted my lips, cupped his cheek, and cooed, “Aw, Vik. Now why would I want you to do that?” I winked. “Who knows where that hand has been?”
Nas happened to walk in the back door at that very moment. And for some reason, I felt caught. She made me feel caught. Like a naughty child doing something I wasn’t meant to be doing. Especially when her eyes flashed at my hand on Vik.
She covered herself quickly, sneering at Vik in the way she normally would. “Ewww. Don’t touch that, Mina. You don’t know where it’s been.”
But Vik clearly wasn’t in the mood for Nastasia. I knew this, because he grabbed me around the waist, pulling me back into him, making a show of his hand being low on my hip. He stared right at her then lowered his mouth to my ear and mock whispered, “Don’t listen to her. We’ll run away together, fuck on every beach in every country, and have beautiful children together.”
Anika gagged in disgust. “Jesus Christ, Vik. Watch the shit you’re talking. My mouth was open and everything.”
Nas, however, looked hurt. I didn’t understand why. She sort of had it coming, what with the way she talked to him.
But Nas was my friend, and that meant taking her side, even when she was wrong. I could cut a bitch without a crowd, but in front of people, I had her back.
Bumping my butt into his thighs, I scoffed. “I’ve gone through trash, Vik. I’m not picky when it comes to food.” I turned to him and uttered, “And I still wouldn’t eat your dick.”
I heard Anika bark out a laugh and Nas snort at that, and Vik smiled proudly down at me. “That’s what you call a burn.”
The unfortunate thing was that as Vik bent down to kiss my forehead, Lev walked in. There was a tense moment of pressure building in the room as Lev’s eyes flashed at Vik’s hands on me. He had that look in his eye, the one that I’d met a few days prior, and I knew I’d have to intervene. Otherwise, Lev would rip his childhood friend a new asshole. He was protective of me. I got it. I understood it. That was what friends did.
Taking a moment to gather my thoughts, I removed myself from Vik and quietly made my way over to Lev, lifting my hand, palm out, and communicating with him in complete silence.
He looked down at my hand then up into my eyes. The sharp edges of his face softened and he took it without a word, holding it tightly. The gesture said so much more than words could have. I would be his rock when his reason floated away. And he would be the person I needed to remind me that I was no longer alone in the world. A perfectly imperfect friendship had somehow formed, and losing Lev was not an option.
He found me, and whether he knew it or not, I was his, in a way.
You know what they say…
Finders keepers.
The club was not very busy for a Friday night.
It was unusual since Fridays had been a major moneymaker in the past, according to Lev. Men who were finished with the work week came to Bleeding Hearts to unwind, drink in good company, and treat themselves to a private dance or four.
Lev and I sat in the far corner on the left side of the stage. It was the perfect place to watch the room with a view of everything and everyone.
I watched in curiosity as Lev pulled something out of his pocket and showed me an earpiece before he put it on. He spoke into it, “Cam, you ready?”
From the right-hand side of the stage, a young man in a suit raised his hand to show Lev he could hear him.
Lev sat back, turned to me, and stated, “Tonight will be a good night.”
Was he trying to reassure me? I was convinced that the safest seat in the house was sitting next to the hot guy in the suit, giving orders over an earpiece. I didn’t need reassurance.
The girls took to the stage. First, Lana, doing a pole routine, then ChaCha with her slow striptease, then Birdie came by with a glass of soda and a hug for me, telling me she’d been so worried about me.
A feeling of warmth bloomed inside of me. Yes, I was sitting in a gentleman’s club, watching women take their clothes off for cash, knowing the man by my side would hurt anyone who looked at me funny, but I had never felt more at home in a place apart from my family home, when I lived with my mother.
Lev spotted a man sitting on his own, looking forlorn. He spoke into the earpiece. “Cam. Table twelve. Send him a whiskey neat on the house.”
My brow rose. “He looks pretty down. You sure you want to liquor him up some more?”
Lev kept his eye on the floor, but tilted his head toward me. “Free anything makes people happy. Watch.”
Sure enough, the man watched as Anika smiled seductively, placing the drink on his table and leaning down to whisper something in his ear. The lonely man smiled immediately.
Impressed, I asked, “What is she saying to him?”
“That we appreciate his business and loyalty.”
I nodded. “Right. Okay. You clearly know your shit. I bow down to you, oh great one.”
His eyes smiled in that way I loved, and I almost slid down the front of my chair, sighing dreamily.
I asked Lev if he wanted his drink topped off. He said no. I didn’t think he realized I wanted to go visit Nas behind the bar. I kept hinting, saying how thirsty I was. He kept frowning, telling me to signal Anika.
There was no being inconspicuous with Lev. It was all or nothing. I finally blurted out, “I really want to talk to Nas.”
His brow furrowed. “Why didn’t you just say so?”
“Because I’m grounded,” I muttered and slumped lower into my chair.
He snuffled, and I liked to believe it was Lev’s version of a laugh. He nodded to the bar. “I can still see you from there. Stay in sight.”
I perked up, leaning over my chair and showing my enthusiasm. “Really, Pop? No foolin’?”
“Go,” he murmured in a bored manner, but his eyes were laughing.
“Neat-o!” I cheered as I rushed over to the bar. I wanted to fuck with Nas. I’d been planning it for days. Tonight’s episode with Vik fit in perfectly with my devious plan.
Strolling up to the bar, I sat in the hidden corner and waited. When she approached, she mumbled, “What a shit night. Not even worth having full staff for this measly crowd.”
“Yeah, I know.” I got right into it. “So, what can you tell me about Vik?”
She turned to me, her eyes narrowed. “Why do you want to know about Vik?”
“I don’t know.” I purposefully acted aloof. “He’s hot, no doubt.” Then I planted the bomb. “And there was that thing tonight. I don’t know, but I think we’ve got a bit of chemistry going on.” I leaned forward and grinned. “I think he’s into me.”
I wanted to burst into laughter at the way Nas’ face turned bright red. She gritted her teeth and spoke through them, “He’s not all he’s cracked up to be, Mina.”
I shrugged. “Who am I to judge?” I pointed to myself. “Homeless girl…hello!”
Her nostrils flared. “He’s not your type.”
“Who’s to say what’s my type? Besides, we don’t need to be each other’s type to scratch an itch.” I used my elbow to nudge her and finished off with a lewd wink. “Know what I mean?”
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Nas planted her palms on the bar, leaned forward, and snapped, “You stay away from Viktor!”
My mission complete, I quickly got out of character, threw my head back, and hooted with laughter. Nas stared at me, confused for a second before she caught on.
Looking mildly pissed off with herself, she shook her head slowly. “Who told you?”
I smiled victoriously. “It doesn’t matter who told me. The question is, why didn’t you tell me?”
Her face fell. She looked sad. “It’s complicated, Mina.”
“Complicated in the the-guy-I-love-sleeps-with-other-women way? Or complicated in the the-guy-I-love-has-issues-with-commitment way?”
“Neither,” she hushed, her eyes shining. “In the the-guy-I-love-doesn’t-love-me-back kind of way.”
My smile fell. That sucked.
“That sucks,” I told her, my heartbreak apparent.
She smiled sadly. “That’s life, my dear.”