Mina
Waking up alone but refreshed and well rested, I dressed quickly and rushed downstairs to have breakfast with Lev. Only when I got to the kitchen, there was no one there, the newspaper neatly folded in the center of the table.
Silence in this house didn’t always mean it was empty, but today, it seemed it was.
That made me sad. I wanted to wake every morning by greeting Lev, putting my arms around him, and taking warmth from him as his giant frame enveloped me.
The time on the oven read eight twenty-three. Too early for Lev to have gone for his workout.
Where is he?
I wouldn’t be that girl.
I wouldn’t text him. No sir-ee.
I would go have breakfast with Nas instead, and try to fish out information from her.
It was a nice day. The walk did me good, now that I wasn’t having phantom labor pains. The air was cool and the sun was warm. I smiled up into the sky.
Making my way up the steps, I rang the bell and waited.
And waited.
And waited some more.
Lifting my hand, I knocked. “Come on, Nas. Get up!”
She answered the door, blinking away sleep, her face bunched and hair all over the place, wearing a flimsy nightie. “What the fuck, dude?”
I beamed at her, and not waiting for an invitation, I slid by her. “I’m hungry and I need coffee.”
Her expression dampened. I turned to her and stared, beginning slowly, “I actually came here to find out where he’d gone.”
She shrugged, yawning. “I don’t know. I’m not his keeper.”
I bit the inside of my lip, my nose bunching. “Yeah,” I muttered, sounding disappointed. “Me either.”
Nas rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Go wait in the kitchen. Let me excuse myself from my company.”
As she walked back up the stairs, I called out a little too loudly. “Morning, Vik!”
I turned on the coffee pot and poured two mugs full as Nas came back into the kitchen, her hair tied in a high ponytail. She’d dressed in sweat pants and a loose sweater, with last night’s makeup still smudged under her eyes.
Handing her a mug, I smiled slyly. “Have fun with your company last night?”
She glared at me over the rim of her mug before lifting her nose. “He snores.”
Just then, a low, gravelly voice came from the open doorway. “She lies. And yes, we had fun. We always have fun. Played Yahtzee until just after dawn.” Vik grinned, his eyelids low from sleep. He wore his dress pants and not a stitch more. I was too amused to check out his taut and gorgeous tattooed body.
I snorted, almost choking on my coffee. “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”
He winked at me before doing something that surprised me.
He made his way behind Nas’s chair, placed his hands on her shoulders, leaned in, and pressed his lips to the space just under her ear. She closed her eyes and smiled happily. He whispered something into Nastasia’s ear and her face turned soft. She lifted a hand to cup his cheek tenderly before turning her face to press a soft kiss to his lips.
These were not the actions of two people who merely slept together. These were the actions of two people very much in love. My mind went back to the moment Nas told me that Viktor didn’t love her back. Was she mental? It was clear as crystal, written all over his face. In his smile. The way he looked at her. Viktor Nikulin was head-over-heels for Nastasia Leokov. And he loved her in a way that most women dreamed of.
My heart smiled for the two of them. They had something special. Even if Nas didn’t know it yet.
Vik poured a cup of coffee then moved around the table, stopping to kiss my head before seating himself at the head of the table. “You feeling better, wifey?”
I smiled at his nickname for me. It was clearly designed to make Nas jealous, and from the way her nose bunched, it was working. “I’m feeling much better, thank you. Damn virus,” I lied.
Vik’s brow rose. “I thought it was period pain?”
I blinked at him before turning to Nas. “Is no man in this family squeamish?” I fluttered my lashes at Vik. “I was trying to protect your delicate sensibilities.”
He sipped his coffee. “That’s too many big words for morning, Mina.”
“So,” I dug. “Where’s Lev?”
Vik blinked at me, eyeing me curiously. “What’s it to you?”
My cheeks heated. “Nothing,” I uttered, dipping my chin.
Vik grinned, the shit stirrer. “Okay, then if it’s nothing to you, he’s gone to have breakfast with Anika.”
“What?” My head shot up, eyes blazing, unsure of whether he was lying to get a rise out of me.
“Oh,” Nas muttered, suddenly remembering. “Yeah, he is.” She shook her head then cringed, “Sorry. I forgot.”
Why was he having breakfast with Anika? Why wasn’t he having breakfast with me? More importantly, why didn’t he tell me?
Because it’s none of your business!
My mind’s statement hurt, because it was true. I wanted Lev to be my business. I wanted him to think about me when he made decisions, like having breakfast with a tall, gorgeous redhead who clearly wanted him for herself.
I shrank down in my chair and Vik’s smile fell. “You’re upset.”
“I’m not upset,” I blatantly lied, my cool tone giving me away. “Lev can do what he wants. He doesn’t owe me explanations.”
Nas tilted her head. “What’s going on with you and my brother?”
I shrugged, unsure about how to answer. “I don’t know. One second, he’s all protective and caring and giving me necklaces, and the next, he’s off hiding inside himself. I thought we had a thing, but it’s like he’s afraid to talk to me.”
Vik stretched. “He is afraid to talk to you. Well, not you, but people in general.”
Nas shushed him, but I reached out for all the information I could get. “What do you mean? He’s so confident at the club.” I was confused. “Why would he be scared to talk to me?”
Vik lightly nudged Nastasia’s arm. “Will you talk to your girl? She thinks she’s the issue. Give her a break, Nas.”
She looked down at the table and muttered a low, “We don’t talk about it.”
Vik shook his head before leaning across the table to me and asking, “You ever wonder why Lev locks his bedroom door at night?”
I nodded enthusiastically. “All the time.”
Nas spoke quietly, “Enough.”
Vik ignored her. “He does it to protect himself. He doesn’t feel safe at night, in the dark.” He shook his head in disgust. “He was just a little boy.”
“I don’t understand.”
Nas got up, walking over to the kitchen sink, trying to get away from the conversation.
“She used to beat him at night, after everyone had gone to sleep,” Vik explained.
My heart broke, raced, and wept all at the same time for Lev, the little boy. Part of me wanted to know, but the other part wanted to let sleeping dogs lie. “Who beat him?”
Nas, looking out the kitchen window, whispered a dead, “My mother. She hated him.”
Vik sneered. “Fuck, I hated that bitch. Always knew those smiles a’hers were fake.”
“How could she?” I spoke quietly through my thick throat. “How could she?” I turned to Nas. “Why?”
Nas lowered her head, shaking it. She couldn’t speak. She looked about ready to lose it.
Vik told the story. “No one knows how long she’d been doing it. The only reason we found out was because Lev stopped talking.” He pinned me with a stare. “Just stopped talking, for a whole year. He was nine.” He sighed in frustration. “Now, if that were any other kid, you’d think it was weird, right?”
“Yes,” I agreed immediately.
“Not with Lev. Their pops, Anton, was a good man. He loved all of his kids equally. Was one of the good guys. He married into a good family, and Lev’s mother, Talya, was a nice woman. Until Lev was born.”
“Why would having Lev change that?” I pried.
Vik smiled at the thought of his friend. “Lev is different.”
That he was.
“Anyone with half a brain could see that he didn’t think like a kid. It’s almost as if he was born with the mind of an adult. He was so serious. Barely laughed. He was smart as a whip. Didn’t have any friends, apart from Anika and me. You could have hit him with a hammer, and he wouldn’t show pain. Something about his mind doesn’t work the way yours and mine do. He doesn’t show emotion often, and when he does, it’s mostly anger that’s built up past breaking point.”
Vik swallowed hard. “There was an incident. Lev’s dog was run over. He didn’t understand why the dog was gone. I mean, he knew she was dead, but the emotional build up was too much for him.” Vik laid it on me, hard. “They found him in his room, rocking back and forth, beating his head against the wall. The wall was covered in blood. He was covered in blood. Had to go to the emergency room to get his head stitched up.”
“Oh, my God.” I covered my mouth with my hands, my stomach rolling in revolt.
“It was after that incident that Talya got weird. She’d curl her lip whenever Anton hugged Lev or showed him any attention. She ignored Lev when he spoke. She showered all of her attention on Nas, forgetting about her sons. And Lev started to pull away. He stopped looking people in the eye. Stopped talking to people. Didn’t leave his room. That kind of thing. The one person who was meant to love him treated him like he was invisible, so he became invisible.” Vik turned to Nas. “What no one knew was that Lev would talk to Nas. He didn’t say much, but she was the only person he spoke to in that time.”
“He talked to you?” That was a big deal. “What would he say?” I asked Nas gently.
She let out a long, shuddering breath. “That he was afraid of the dark. So I snuck into his room one night and slept beside him, holding him. He shook so bad, Mina. I thought he was having a fit. Finally, he fell asleep and the shaking stopped. I fell asleep too.”
Oh, God. My stomach turned again. I knew what was coming.
Nas turned to face me, her eyes shining. “One second, I’m asleep. The next, the covers are being ripped away and she’s dragging me out of bed by my ankle.” She lifted her hand and touched a spot at the back of her head. “My head hit the ground hard. It all happened so fast that I couldn’t think…couldn’t scream. All I could do was lift my hands and hold them out as she beat the shit out of me with her bare fists.”
A tear fell down her cheek and she swiped it away. “I just remember being so scared, and for the first time in my life, I believed in monsters living under your bed.” She sniffed prettily. “The monster was my mother, of course, and she only stopped when she heard me crying. Lev didn’t cry, ever. When Lev switched on the light, my mother looked down at me, shock on her face. She turned to Lev, pointed a finger, and screeched at him that he did this.”
My eyes closing, I doubled over, my face paling. “Jesus, Nas.”
“Yeah.” she nodded gently. “I hadn’t perfected the fetal position that Lev had, so I took more damage than I he ever did. Sasha must have heard me crying, because he walked into Lev’s room and saw her standing over me. I was shaking and crying. I was five years old. Sasha walked back into his room, calm as ever, and he came back a few seconds later, pointing a loaded 9mm at our mother’s head. He was twelve.
“His lip curled and he said, ‘Touch ‘em again and I’ll blow your fucking brains out, bitch’.” Nas laughed humorlessly. “Sasha never did beat around the bush. He called for my father, went over to Lev, and stood in front of him. He motioned to me and I ran to him. He held me tight while I cried. And Lev…he did nothing, because he couldn’t function.” She burst into tears, covering her face, her voice breaking. “And I finally understood why my brother was the way he was.”
I stood so quickly that my chair screeched. I wrapped my arms around her and she accepted what I was offering. Her slim arms came around me and she spoke quietly. “My father removed Lev’s shirt and looked him over. He was bruised all over.” Her breath stuttered. “Lev spoke again, and his first words to my father in an entire year were ‘I’m sorry’. Father cleaned me up, hugged me tight, and then put Sasha and me back to bed. Lev slept by Father’s side, and we never saw our mother again.”
God, she was hurting. “I’m so sorry, Nas. I’m so sorry.”
She pulled back and looked down at me, dejected and teary-eyed. “No. I had one night of it. Lev probably endured years of it. I’m sorry it didn’t happen sooner.”
Sadness enveloped me. “Why did she hate him so much?”
Nas explained, “He was inferior, in her opinion. She couldn’t believe that she, a high-class woman, could produce something so flawed. She hated that he wasn’t normal. Went so far as to get a DNA test to prove he wasn’t hers, that they’d made a switch at the hospital. When the results came back that he was indeed hers, she hated him even more. He was the worst thing that happened to her.” Nas frowned. “But she didn’t even know him. She didn’t want to know him. He was so sweet and kind. And she broke him.”
No. No, that wasn’t right.
“He’s not broken, Nas,” I told her. “He’s in there. I see him. He’s just…stuck.”
“Yeah,” she agreed then sighed long and slow. “Don’t give up on him, Mina. He doesn’t trust easily, but once you’re in with him…you’re in. Put in the effort and you’ll be rewarded.” She added, “Just talk to him and be patient if he makes you do all the talking. He might not respond a whole lot, but he’s listening to every word. He’ll speak if he thinks something is worth saying.”
I left soon after, walking home and waiting for Lev.
I didn’t understand all of him, but what I knew of him, I understood a lot better.
A piece of my heart I had hidden long ago opened right then.
Lev was a clink in my armor, a crack in my wall, and I just knew that if he really tried, I would open myself to him completely in the hopes that he would do the same.
I would do that for him.
I would do that, because he was worthy.