“You ready for this?” Cut asks me when he walks into my old room at the clubhouse. He’s wearing his cut, just as I am, over a long sleeve button down shirt. His shoulder-length hair is pulled back into a low ponytail, and dark denim jeans cover his legs along with his black boots.
Three days ago, Jenni’s father showed up at our house, no, our home and tried to take her back to Texas. I’d never felt more threatened in my life. She doesn’t know this, but my heart pounded in my chest the entire time in that clubhouse. The idea of her leaving, of never seeing her again, is unimaginable. She is a constant for me. Without her, I can’t breathe. She is the better part of me, and I wouldn’t have been able to continue living if she had chosen to leave me.
I knew she cared for me. I knew she told me the words that should have solidified her feelings, but when you grow up knowing that love can be hollow, worthless, destructive, the true meaning of it can be hard to grasp. She could have easily conformed to what her father wanted and left with him. She could have realized that her place was by that fucker’s side and left without a second thought. But she didn’t. She chose me, the kids, and this club over the man who helped give her life. We are so alike in that aspect.
For almost a year, I’ve watched her. I’ve waited for her to prove to me that she wasn’t so different from the rest of the women, but she’s proven me wrong. Jenni has taught me so much about myself. She’s opened my heart up to love, a task I never thought would happen and I’ll be damned, but I’m fucking glad she did.
“I’m ready, man,” I tell Cut.
He’s going to marry us, in the clubhouse, among my brothers, Bianca, the kids, Savannah, and The Fallen. In the state of New Mexico, they recognize online ordained ministers, and Cut was eager to become registered. There’s no waiting periods for wedding licenses, so I thought it best to get this shit done and finalized before Jenni changes her mind.
I called Maggie to let her know that we were committing to each other and our family, and she was pleased with our news and wished us the best of luck. I didn’t ask her how this would deter the douchebag dad’s petition for custody. I knew that it was something we would have to tackle, just not now.
Taking a seat next to me on my bed, Cut rests his elbows on his knees. “Life is a fickle bitch, you know?” He looks at me, but I don’t answer. He knows I agree. “Growing up, I saw my parents and the way they loved each other, but club life puts strain on a marriage.”
“I’m aware,” I tell him.
“It’s not for everyone. Even a love as strong as my parents. It’s a rough life to live, and only the strong survive it. Did you know that my parents almost didn’t?”
“Had no clue.” I shake my head.
“There was a time before Sienna was born, when violence became the norm for the club and my mother couldn’t take it anymore. I was still young, Sin was a tiny baby, when my mother decided, love or not, she couldn’t continue the lifestyle. So she took us. We left the state and went up north to live with an aunt and uncle of hers. But we weren’t gone long before my father came after us. He told her that if he had to choose, it would always be her. The money, drugs, guns, or territory meant nothing to him. She was his everything.”
He smiled. “I’m sure my father would have left the club life if that’s what my mother had chosen. But she loved him too, and how can you ask someone to cut off a part of who they are? She knew who he was when she met him. She might have been young, but she wasn’t blind to who my father was, and she loved him anyway. My mother is still madly in love with him, even if it’s with his ghost.”
“Not to tarnish your stroll down memory lane, but why the fuck are you telling me this?”
He chuckles. “I’m telling you this because I see Jenni accepting you for you, and I’m sure she’ll never ask you to cut off a part of who you are. But it doesn’t make you weak to choose to leave this life behind in order to make sure your family has a good future. Club life is easy when you’re single, only needing to look out for yourself, but bringing another into this life, the kids… Man, it’s something that you need to think long and hard about. I’m telling you now, if you need to walk away from Devil’s Fury to secure the future of your family, I’m okay with it. You were lost when you found yourself on the steps of the club, but you’re not lost anymore, Lick. You’ve come full circle. You’ve found you.”
“You’re right, I have. I’ve found me, and who I am is this club and this life. I’m evolving.” I laugh at the realization. “And, Jenni, those kids and this club will all evolve with me. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve had enough of my family turn their backs on me. I’m not about to do the same. Blood or not, you, the guys, even the bitches are my family, and I’m not going anywhere.”
He slaps his hand on my shoulder. “That’s good to hear because there isn’t anyone like you, and it would be my loss if you chose to leave. You’ve been my best friend for years, and I’m not looking to find another.” Standing up, he strides to the doors. He turns around, he eyes me.
“Let’s get you married. It’s fucking time.”