What happened to the days when parents picked their kids up from the classrooms?
I wonder if I sweet talk Aunt K enough, she’ll let me bend the rules and require Aly to pick the boys up every afternoon just so I can see her. Probably not. But then again, I’ll get to see her again, kinda like now when she can’t see that I’m staring at her from my classroom, three hours after she walked out again.
Creepy?
Probably. I know it’s wrong to have impure thoughts in an elementary school, especially about a student’s mother, or at least it feels wrong, but I can’t bring myself to give a fuck.
I can’t stop thinking. Probably because I have a direct view of her and the boys, hand in hand, walking toward the parking lot after school, walking away from me. In my head, I’m right back to the night I left her.
“Midnight in Her Eyes” by the Black Keys hummed through the car, Aly laid out before me on the front seat of my mom’s car, lights off on a side-street.
“What is this?” She sounded her age. Innocent. Scared. Naïve.
“I only want to fuck you.”
She flinched and I hated myself for what I said. “You don’t want to be with me?”
My heart pounds. “No. I don’t,” I said as coldly as I could, hating the way the words sounded.
It wasn’t true, but it was my way of trying to push her away. The truth was she deserved better than me.
“Why would you say that?” she asked, tearfully.
“Because I want you, but I can’t give you what you’re looking for.”
I wanted to fuck her, but not for the reasons she assumed. I wanted to show her she needed me, not him. I wanted her to make me forget the world, the lies, the reasons, everything but the feel of her beneath me. I was being selfish, and it wasn’t fair to her.
Her skin was warm, burning my hands with each pass my fingertips made. She released her grip on my face, her neck arched away, pressing into the seat.
Rain soaked and trembling, I glided my hands along the inside of her arms, lower, down to her bare legs.
Leaned back on my knees, I kissed the inside of her knees, then the length of her leg until I was at her center. We both shifted, breathing harder, because I was there, a place she never allowed. I pushed her dress up, my fingers at the edge of her panties, waiting to see what she’d do if I took them off.
“Let me,” I whispered incoherently, sliding my fingers down her ribs, soft and gentle, teasing. She squirmed. I chuckled. “Please?”
Her legs were open, me hovering over her, waiting for her response. “Ridge,” she whispered in the darkness, searching for words and an answer she didn’t want to give me. “I can’t.”
I placed my fingertips over her lips. “Why not?” I slid up her body, between her legs, pushing against her hard with my lips finally on hers, a place they hadn’t been in years.
Never had I felt this ache, so intense when I moved, pushing her deeper into the leather seat. There was a heat between us, stronger than the night’s air, one I hadn’t realized—hadn’t comprehended—until she moved again, raising her hips to meet mine this time.
All I could focus on was getting her closer and making her move again. I deepened the kiss, and she squirmed beneath me.
My mouth parted from hers, asking a question I shouldn’t have been. “Have you fucked Austin?”
A good part of her was apprehensive to answer the question. I could see it in her eyes because she feared how I’d respond. What would I ask after I found out she was a virgin? She was always easy to read, the questions displayed on her face.
“No,” she answered eventually. Shock formed on her lips, and eventually a frown. “I’m not that kind of girl.”
Part of me was relieved she hadn’t. I wanted to be her first. Austin didn’t deserve her. I wanted her and her virginity to be mine. My head dipped to her neck, slow kissing and loving her, even if I’d never be able to tell her.
“You gonna let me fuck you or not?” It was a blunt question and caught her off-guard.
“You’re so bad,” she said, pushing back on the hands of a sinner, laughing.
“And you’re so good.” I flashed an easy smile her way. I might have been bad, but in truth, she wouldn’t have had me any other way. She hated the feeling that drew her to me.
I despised the way she drew me with her warmth, a contrast to the cold that consumed my thoughts.
I pressed my weight into her again, my hips moving against hers. “Are you going to?”
My breath sped as I watched her hands glide down my forearms. I brought her closer when her hand fell away. “I want you. In ways I shouldn’t.”
“But you don’t love me,” her voice shook with the words. “You don’t want to be with me.”
“I do want you,” I argued.
“But not the way I need you to,” she deduced, closing her eyes, shaking her head. My stomach clenched, my chest tightening. Reality had finally sunk in. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”
And that’s where it ended, in the front seat of a stolen car with “I can’t.”
I wasn’t going to pressure her. She hadn’t been talking about just sex. No, it was her saying she couldn’t love someone like me. It was an “I can’t love you like you need me to.” I didn’t fit into the ideas of what Aly had for falling in love. I didn’t fit into her life plan at all. Austin, he had at the time.
Maybe that’s why I left. No. That’s not true. I know why I left, and I certainly never wanted her to choose him, but I didn’t have much choice in the matter.
The door to the classroom opens and thumps against the wall dramatically. It’s not students. No, they’ve been gone for ten minutes, and I thought I might get my first moment to relax today. And watch Aly walking away. She does have a nice ass.
“Mom said you were back but fuck, I didn’t believe her.”
Again, just like this morning with Glen, I don’t need to turn around to know who it is. It’s my cousin, Henry. He’s the product of my Aunt Katherine and Uncle Elliott. You’ll meet Uncle Elliott, I’m sure. He reminds me of Judge Dread. One time he picked me up by the back of my neck. No. Lie. Like I was a goddamn kitten.
I blame him for my constant neck pain.
Now take a look at Henry. He’s like six foot four and built like a grizzly bear. You can’t miss him. His nickname when we were younger was Hare-Bear. If you asked me, it sounded like a pussy’s name, never made much sense, and I refused to call him by it.
Henry spins a football in his hand effortlessly. He went to college with a full-ride at USC so we spent a lot of time together when he finally moved south for a while. “Whatup, bro.”
“Not much.” I lean back on my desk, shaking my head. The trouble Henry and I got into was almost as bad as Tyler and me, Aly’s older brother. It was destructive enough Henry told me when I left, shortly after Tyler had left for a full-time job racing, the town practically had a party.
Henry, having been on his own with no one to corrupt him anymore, eventually tamed down. Tame enough he’s married and has a two-year-old daughter.
Do you notice the way Henry’s looking at me? I think he wants to bring up Aly because he knows the one thing that could have brought me back here—had my dad not died—was Aly.
“I see you’ve got some troublemakers in your class.” He nods, his hand on Cash’s desk with his name tag taped to it.
See? Told you. This is his way of bringing it up.
I nod. “A few. What are you doing here?”
He grins, holding the football up. “I teach PE here, and Mom told me you were back.” And then he hits me with, “I need another coach for football.”
He certainly doesn’t waste any time, does he? I have enough to deal with. Coaching these little brats in my class isn’t exactly what I want to be doing in my free time. Aside from the track, making Aly see I can do right by her, that will take a good amount of my time. “No way. I don’t even like football.”
“Bullshit.” He laughs, tilting his head. “It’s the only thing you were good at besides disturbing the peace.”
I don’t budge and glance over my shoulder out the window. Damn it. Now she’s gone. I glare at Henry. “Why do you need me? Isn’t that something the kids’ dads help with?”
Henry snorts, almost disgusted. “Yeah, I suppose if they knew anything about football. Our only option is Austin, and he can’t manage to show up for the games let alone the practices.”
Now he has my attention. All of it. Just hearing Austin’s name has me wanting to punch the desk. “His kids play?”
Notice how I don’t say his name? It’s by design.
“Yep. Cash is amazing. He’s our cornerback and running back on offense, but Grady,” Henry pauses, shaking his head, “Kid can’t catch a ball to save his life. We have him as a tight end at the moment, and then on D he plays defensive end.” Henry tosses me the football, and I catch it near my stomach. “Grady must take after Aly.”
He says Aly’s name on purpose, I know he does, but then I do wonder how much of the Austin/Aly situation he knows about.
I exhale, lifting my brows and looking sideways, like he’d caught me off guard by mentioning her. “What’s their story?” I ask, my voice devoid of emotion. I play this game pretty well. I know exactly what’s going on with them, Glen tells me everything, but I’m curious what Henry will tell me. Maybe he knows what Glen doesn’t.
Henry leans back against one of the desks, his size making it look like a piece of toy furniture. “Pretty simple, actually. Austin fucked Brie, and Aly called him out on it.”
You probably know this already, but Henry married Aly’s cousin, Tori, and they live across the street from her. I’d never been more thrilled to know this because now Tori could give me the dirt. I took Tori’s virginity. Henry doesn’t know this, and I doubt Aly does either. It’s irrelevant at this point.
I don’t focus on that and neither should you. I only told you in case it comes up later.
I always knew Austin was a lying piece of shit. “When did that happen?”
“Not sure. Sometime after the Fourth of July. We had our big block party like we always do, and Austin left early. Said something about work and never came back. I guess that’s when Aly found out.” Henry shrugs, frowning. “Fucked up if you ask me. He had it all. Hot wife, great kids, and he was banging her friend the whole time.”
Who was she calling a juvenile dipshit this morning? She must have been referring to her husband. You know, I always knew Austin was a fucking asshole. Everyone always thought he was the good guy hanging out with the loser growing up, me being that loser, but it was the other way around if you ask me. He had everyone fooled, including Aly.
I raise an eyebrow and toss the football back at him. “The whole time?”
“I don’t know if it was the whole time, but you know Austin. He’s an asshole. He spews bullshit for a living.”
Henry stands up and holds the ball in one hand at his side, raising his eyebrows. “Meet me on the field at five.”
It’s not a question. It’s a demand, one I’ll probably follow.
I don’t want to coach football. But if it means Aly will be there, what will be the harm be in helping some kids learn to throw a ball?