You know when you look at the sun and see spots? We discussed this earlier.
That’s exactly what happens to me when I see Ridge naked. I can’t stop picturing him and his monstrous cock. Cock-spots.
For two hours into the race night, I do nothing but picture perfect, perfect cock and the nicest ass I’ve ever seen.
“I saw him naked.”
Tori hands a customer his hamburger, engines revving in the distance as they prepare for the main events. “Yeah, me too.”
“Doesn’t count,” I whisper, tucking a twenty-dollar bill in the register and handing her back ten. “He was fifteen then.”
“Still, I’ve seen it.” And then she tips her head to the right. “Well, it was dark out, but still, I saw it. Kinda hard to miss if you know what I mean.”
I do know what she means. “I can’t believe he took your virginity.” I’m not officially jealous of her. My first time with Austin was in the bed of his truck behind the football field. I was cold, crying, and ashamed of myself because I wasn’t thinking about him. I was thinking about Ridge and wishing I would have given it to him. “Does Henry know?”
Tori laughs, just once, and then levels me a serious stare, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Fuuuuuck no. He’d probably kill him.”
“Did it hurt?” Why am I asking this? Girl, you know that will hurt.
“Uh, yeah. You saw it.”
“Truth.”
“Wait. . . how’d you see it?” Her eyes widen with a strange amount of excitement. “Did you cuddle with him?” Cuddle is code for sex with Tori. Ada’s starting to understand what words mean and in turn, we have to use code words.
“I was looking for the keys to the ticket booth, and he had them so I went to get them. He was in his trailer standing there naked after taking a shower.”
“Totally planned probably.”
“Probably.” And then I groan, sagging against the counter. “What am I going to do?”
“Whatever you want. You’re technically not married anymore.”
“But I’m technically not divorced yet either. I just. . . I don’t understand him. He’s nice to my kids, provokes me. . . so say I sleep with him. Then what?”
“Well, the general idea from what I remember would be an orgasm. Hopefully a lot of them.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I confess, hoping she might give me some insight into the dating world nowadays. Before Henry, Tori got around. I wouldn’t say she was a slut. . . okay, she was. She’ll admit it, but she wasn’t one of those who you thought, fuck, where’s her dignity?
She just enjoyed sex. With more than one person. Sometimes at the same time.
“Neither do I anymore. My kid sleeps in the bed with us.” Tori points up, sweeping a towel over the counter. “The last time Henry and I had sex was in the laundry room. I’m not sure if he got me off or if it was the vibration of the washing machine.” She turns when my mom hands her another hamburger to hand out. Her voice hushes as she whispers, “And I’m ashamed I don’t know.”
I laugh quietly, leaning into the wall beside the counter. “I remember those days. Sneaking around the house trying to be creative while the kids sleep.” I do remember those days, somewhat. With twins it’s even harder because while Grady was a good sleeper, Cash never slept.
“And then they turn to shit, and we stop having sex altogether?”
“No.” I wave my hand in her face. “It won’t be like that for you guys.”
Will it though? Does this happen in all marriages? I once read an article in Cosmo that said if you don’t work at your marriage, it won’t work for you.
Is that what happened? We didn’t work at it.
Ridge walks by, right about then, with Grady by his side and he’s holding his hand. My heart tugs at the sight of him holding my son’s hand. He’s only known them, what, a week? And here he is treating them like they’re his. Do you know the last time I saw Austin holding their hand?
Probably over a year ago.
I don’t see Cash anywhere, but on any given night at the track, I have no idea where my boys go. Just like when I was a kid. This track was the one place I was free growing up. I could go anywhere and didn’t have to worry about parents or anybody kidnapping me.
Heat ripples under my skin at the sight of Ridge, the flush of sexual desire I haven’t felt in months now consuming any time he’s within sight.
“When does Tyler get into town?” Tori asks, watching the crowds of people standing near the smoker to our left where we cook our smoked brisket for the sandwiches. It’s the best food at the track.
I groan, wiping down the counter once more. When I get nervous, I clean. “Next Wednesday.”
Tori catches onto the nervousness. “What’s that face for?”
“He doesn’t know about Austin.”
She laughs, knowing exactly where that’s going. “Oh, uh, good luck with that.”
Tyler never liked Austin. He and Ridge were friends, but Austin, nope. Hated him. Maybe I should have gotten the clue back then because my brother likes everyone. “There may be a murder in town next week.”
“I’m sure Henry will help him hide the body. He’s still pissed at Austin for what he did.”
I laugh, removing the towel from the counter and soak it in the bleach bucket. “Funny, me too.”
It’s nearing nine thirty when the main event is underway, and I spot him again.
He stops near the picnic tables, talking to one of the track maintenance guys when he gets about a foot in front of me.
While his head is tilted toward Quinton, his lips twist into a half grin when he notices that my eyes travel down his body. He’s in a pair of shorts and a black T-shirt that matches the darkness in his eyes. God, he looks good. Flushed cheeks, beer in hand, dusty skin and a crazy grin that has panties melting all around him. Women blatantly stare at him, watching him lean casually into the picnic table like he knows it.
Jesus. Stop staring at him.
How does he have this effect on me?
Tori elbows me, hard. “You’re drooling again.”
I straighten my posture, trying to compose myself as Ridge approaches the concession stand.
He gives Tori a wink. “How ya been, T?”
She sneers at him and tosses a straw at him. “I can’t believe I did you.”
Did you? I snort. She’s been spending too much time with Ada.
Ridge takes the straw and pushes it toward me, our fingers brushing in the process. “Yes, you can.”
Sparks jolt through me and the visions of cock-spots dance in my head.
Tori snorts, leaning in to whisper. “I don’t know how I do. It was the quickest three minutes of my life.”
Ridge chuckles, running his hand down his jaw and then knocking his hand against hers. “Best three minutes of your life, baby.”
Tori takes the relish bottle next to her, pretends to gag, and then squirts it on Ridge’s arm like she’s thrown up on him.
Ridge stares at the blob of relish, then shakes his head and flicks it with his finger at Tori’s face. All three of us laugh, and Ridge’s gaze catches mine, and I’m locked in the darkness that’s working against me.
Someone tugs on Ridge’s shoulder, and he’s pulled away, his duties as the owner endless on race nights. I watch him walk away, until he’s completely out of sight.
The roar of the cars on the track during the last chance qualifier bring me back from staring at Tori, who is actually having a conversation with me.
“You’re a bitch. You never listen to me,” she says, handing a bag of popcorn to a customer.
The kid at the counter stares at her, as if she’s referring to him, and then walks away.
“He thinks you called him a bitch.” I laugh, catching a glimpse of Henry and my dad walking together, my kids following behind them closely.
“I was having a conversation with you, and you completely ignored me.”
Crap. She looks offended. “Sorry?”
“Whatever.” She rolls her eyes, leaning into the counter. “You need to fuck him so you can get your head right again.”
She’s right, I totally do.