My brother’s in town. If your eyes aren’t wide, you must not have heard me correctly.
I’ll say it again.
My older—very protective brother—is in town for the first time since Christmas.
At the time, Austin and I were still married, and on the outside, everything looked fine. On the inside, I think now that I look back on it, I wasn’t happy.
Let me start out by saying why Tyler is in town, because for our small wine country town, it’s a big deal. Tyler’s a big deal here.
Every year when the World of Outlaws—a touring sprint car series—comes to town, my brother returns with it. Since he left Calistoga when he was seventeen to race all over the country, I rarely see him. That doesn’t mean he’s lost his protective instincts. Not one stinking bit.
Like a mother’s instinct to protect her children, I don’t think brothers ever lose the instinct to kick a guy’s ass if they mess with their younger sister.
When Ridge kissed me when we were kids, Tyler punched him in the face. He’s six years older than Ridge too, but Ridge. . . he didn’t care. He laughed in my brother’s face and said, “Pleasure’s worth pain,” and he was thirteen fucking years old.
What thirteen-year-old says that?
Knowing all of that, how do you think the night’s going to go when Mom has everyone over the night before the start of the Outlaw weekend?
Probably not well, but then guess who comes with us?
Fucking Austin. I want to believe he’s trying to be a better father, but it really has nothing to do with it. You know who does, don’t you?
Exactly. The only reason he’s going is because of Ridge. Just watch.
“Daddy.” Grady grabs his hand the instant he’s through the front door to pick them up for his night with them. “Can we go to Grandma’s instead? I want to see the kids there.”
Austin’s near the door, still in his black slacks and dress shirt from work. He glances at me, then Grady. “What kids?”
“That race car driver’s kids.” Grady drops down beside the door, attempting to get his shoes on while Cash refuses to come out of their room. I glance at Grady’s feet. He’s not wearing socks and trying to get his sweaty feet into his tennis shoes. I don’t know why but he refuses to wear socks. Says they suffocate his feet. As you can imagine, his shoes constantly stink. Welcome to the life of a boy mom.
“I like them,” Grady goes on to say, his bottom lip tucked into his mouth as he tries to push his feet into his shoes. “And my teacher is going to be there.”
A hitched breath is caught in my throat, unable to divert my eyes from Grady at the mention of his teacher. He didn’t even have to say his name.
I feel like I’m being stared at. You tell me. I don’t want to look up.
I dart down the hall to get Cash. He’s on his bed with his DS in hand. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I take it from him, and he glares. “Why’d you do that?”
“Your dad’s here. Time to go with him.”
He sits up and tries to take it. “I don’t want to.”
“Buddy.” I touch his cheek. “I know this is hard on you. I do, but it’s your dad’s night, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“I don’t like going over there. I don’t like her and I’m never going to.”
I love you. You can have anything you’ve ever wanted. Do you want a car?
“I know, but we have to make the best of this.”
Cash’s chest rises and falls heavily, his cheeks flushed with pent-up anger I might not ever understand. Blazing blue eyes narrow. “How come I can’t decide what I want? Dad got to decide he didn’t want to live with us anymore.”
My heart breaks for him. I can’t imagine the feelings he’s fighting. . . the letdown he has for the things Austin’s done over the past few months.
With tears in my eyes, I take his cheeks in my hands and make him look at me. “I know. I do. This sucks. It’s awful, and I don’t want to do it anymore either, but we have to make the best of it. We do. If we don’t, we’re just going to feel that much worse about it.”
Austin peeks his head in the door. “Let’s go.”
Cash doesn’t even look at him, and he throws his leg over the side of his bed. He stands and leaves the room without another word. Austin tries to ruffle his hair when he walks by but Cash ducks out of the way.
“What’s his problem?”
“You are.”
Grady’s still by the door waiting. “Are we going or not?”
Cash plops down on the couch dramatically. “I don’t want to go anywhere.”
“We’re going to grandma’s,” Grady tells him, like how can you not be excited.
“We are?” Cash asks, looking at me, then Austin.
Austin nods. “Yeah, we can. Let’s go.”
I want to puke. What the fuck is Ridge going to think when he sees me show up with Austin and the kids? And you and I both know how Austin’s going to act.
What a nightmare.
“You really don’t have to come,” I tell Austin, hoping he’ll take the hint that I don’t want him here.
Over his shoulder, he gives me that look. The one that says, the fuck I don’t.