Vaughn
It’s been an entire week since I’ve seen Brooke. We’ve spoken over the phone a lot and got back into our routine of sending multiple texts a day, but we haven’t been together since last weekend. It really fucked me up to think I hurt her, and I’ve had several nightmares about it since. Thank god for Brody, who wakes me from them night after night. I swear this dog deserves some sort of doggie award. I feel bad that we haven’t gotten together all week, but I’m tired and I’m trying to catch up on some sleep. At least we made some plans for today. All week she’s been talking about spending the day with me and the dog. There’s a beach about an hour away from me that she loves. Says it’s the perfect place to take Brody. She even called to confirm they would allow the dog on the beach. With all of her excitement, I didn’t have the heart to tell her that after spending countless months in the desert, I’m really not a fan of the beach, so I’m going to suck it up and take her there. Then, we’re coming back to my place to freshen up and drop off Brody before heading to her parents’ house for dinner. Remy’s wedding is next weekend, and his mom wanted to have everyone over for dinner tonight.
I’m already in my swim trunks and I have the cooler ready to go along with a separate small bag for Brody. Brooke said she’s bringing a blanket with some beach towels and plenty of sunscreen. She knocks at the door and I shout for her to come in. She opens it to Brody greeting her with excitement. I swear to god this dog loves my girlfriend just as much as he loves me. Maybe that’s a good thing. It would suck if he was a pain in her ass every time she came over, especially considering I really like her and care about her. Maybe that’s his way of telling me he accepts her too.
“Hey, babe.” I kiss her on the top of her head.
“Are you ready to go?” Her voice is full of excitement. I just wish I was with her on this.
“Sure. Let me start the car and get it loaded, and then we’ll bring Brody out. It’s hot and I want the car to cool down a second.” She smiles and starts petting the dog.
“I’ll take him out while you do that.” She grabs the leash from the top of the bag I packed for him and takes him to the back while I run out to start the car and get the air conditioning going. By the time I’m done loading the trunk, the car has cooled down.
“I think we’re ready.” She takes Brody to the car and I lock up. When I get outside, she has the GPS programmed on her phone to get us to the beach. I pull out of the driveway and follow the directions the female voice provides. I’m focused on the road and she’s looking out the window. The tension in the car is thick. I know she wants to say something, but she hasn’t, and I’m actually quite glad. I have no desire to discuss my military past or my nightmare issues with her.
“What time do we need to be at your parents’ house?” There, an easy question to try and break the tension in the car.
“I told my mom I would be there by five. I want to help her get things together. My father is going to grill, but she still needs to put sides out and dessert.”
I nod. “That’s fine. We have plenty of time to get to the beach, have some lunch, and come home. Who’s going?”
“My brothers and their families will be there, Kenzie’s aunt and uncle, and I believe Lilly.” She shrugs. “Shouldn’t be too many people.” She turns her head to look back out the window.
The remainder of the ride is quiet. I want to ask her why she won’t talk to me or look at me, but I’m afraid. What if she’s pissed because I haven’t said anything about my nightmares? I’ll be forced to talk about it. I decide it’s best to stay focused on the road and not say a word.
When we finally pull up to the beach, the gentleman at the gate tells us we have to go to the next lot down because of Brody. There’s a separate area of the beach for people who want to bring their dogs. I take a right in the parking lot and go down to the area he’s talking about. We find a spot to park. It’s busy, but not overly full. This could be a good thing. This end of the beach may be quieter and have less people because of the dogs.
Brooke storms out of the car and grabs Brody’s leash while I grab the rest of our stuff. She takes the beach towel bag from me and storms off toward the beach. I take a deep breath. I’m trying hard not to get frustrated, but I’m at a fucking loss here.
When I finally catch up to her, she has the blanket already down and Brody lies on one corner of it. He’s already panting from the heat, so I pull out his bowl and pour some water in it. I place it in front of him and he instantly laps it up. “Will you tell me what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.” Her famous lines. She’s always fine, yet she’s not. Fuck. What am I thinking? I’m doing the same thing to her. I’m always telling her I’m fine, but am I? Of course I am. I’m a soldier. I can fucking handle anything.
“Okay.” I stay calm. I can turn this day around. I peel my shirt off of my body, grab the sunscreen, and spray my chest and arms before reaching behind me to spray my back.
“Give me that.” She takes it from me and sprays my back again and then rubs it in. “I don’t want you sunburned for my parents’ house later.”
“Thank you.” I turn, wrapping my arms around her waist. She softens just a little, wrapping me in her arms as well.
“You’re welcome.” She plops down on the blanket and I rub sunscreen all over her amazing body. She feels so fucking good my cock starts to stir, and that’s not what I need right now.
“Are you good with just relaxing for a bit?”
“Yeah, that’s cool.” She grabs my hand and we both lay back, using our towels for blankets.
My eyes are closed and I’m relaxing as I look forward to soaking up the sun’s rays. Damn, it’s fucking hot out here. I wipe my forehead with the back of my arm. I’m already sweating like a motherfucker. Suddenly the ground starts to shake. I open my eyes, trying to gauge what the fuck is going on. We’re surrounded by people. They’re everywhere, and there’s no telling who’s friendly and who’s not. I’m scanning the crowd for my boys, and I can’t see them anywhere.
“Callen,” I call out, but I hear nothing. “Eagle Eye, where the fuck are you guys?” Fuck, this is not good. How the hell did I get separated from my men? That’s when I see her. She’s here in the middle of the fucking desert, calling my name and searching for me. She’s scared, and no matter how loud I call out to her, she can’t hear me. I run at her full speed and tackle her to the ground just in time. A shot rings out, but she’s safe now. I saved her. Out of nowhere this dog starts jumping on me and licking me.
“What the fuck?” Shit, it’s Brody, but why is he barking?
“Get off of me. What is wrong with you?” I look down to see Brooke underneath me in the sand.
“Shit. I thought…” my words trail off. How the fuck do I explain this to her? I’m so fucked right now. I want to run, but I can’t just leave her here, we’re an hour from home. “Brooke, I’m so sorry. I have no idea what came over me. I was having a nightmare.” I can’t even look at her. I’m embarrassed and people are staring at us. “I need to go cool off.” I run straight for the water, and when I’m deep enough, I dive under, trying to cool my body and gain some sense of control. Brody is behind me, swimming and enjoying the water. I love my fucking dog. He’s by my side, making sure I’m good at all times. I knew coming here was a bad idea. I’m such a fucking pussy I should have just told her. Being on the beach in this fucking sun has fucked me all up. Maybe I should tell her we need to eat and get the fuck out of here.
When I walk back up the beach, I see her pacing with her phone to her ear. She has tears in her eyes and I can see she’s trying to hold it together. I’m really fucking this up and I don’t know what to do. I stop dead in my tracks, watching her, with Brody still by my side. I’m not sure I want to hear the conversation she’s having, and I don’t want to eavesdrop and piss her off more. She suddenly cuts the call and drops her phone into her bag. She plops down on the blanket and wipes the tears from her eyes. She rolls over onto her stomach, turning her back to me. I sit down next to her. “I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.”
“You know what to say but you refuse to say it. I want to help you and support you, but I can’t because you won’t let me in.”
“I’ve ruined the day and I’m sorry.” I look at my watch. “Maybe we should eat our lunch and head out.” She closes her eyes but nods in agreement.
We leave the beach thirty minutes later without saying so much as a word to each other. It’s an awful feeling. We were only at the beach a few hours, and I feel terrible that she didn’t even get to enjoy her time there. The entire ride home she stares out the window. The look of hurt on her face fucking kills me, but I need to focus on the road, ensuring we get home safely.
When we pull up to my house, she storms out of the car and into the house. She drops her bag at the door and goes into the bathroom. When she comes out, I can see her eyes are red and she looks so hurt.
“Brooke, please understand. This isn’t something that’s easy to discuss. I don’t want the ugly things I’ve seen stuck in that beautiful head of yours. Shit, I wish they weren’t stuck in mine.”
She closes her eyes and a tear runs down her face. “I guess I can respect that, but if you can’t talk to me, then you need to talk to someone. You scared the shit out of me today. The look on your face was blank. You were lost out in space somewhere, and no matter how much I called to you, there was no getting through. I had no idea what to do.”
Yup, just when I thought I couldn’t feel any worse. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I don’t realize I’m having a flashback until it passes. Brody snapped me out of it.”
She licks her lips and sighs. “I need to get ready for tonight. I’m going to go home to shower and I’m going to try to cool off. I hope you’ll still come to dinner tonight.” Her eyes are hopeful and the thought of canceling is now gone.
“Do you really want me there?” I’m not sure I want to hear the answer, but if she wants me to stay home, I understand, and can definitely respect that. Maybe deep down I’m even hoping she’ll say yes. I have no idea how I’m going to face Remy after this. We are brothers and I just attacked his sister on the beach.
“Yes, I want you there, and I know Remy does too. You’re like a brother to him.”
I nod my head. “Then I’ll see you there.”
I’m not sure why, but she softens a little. Pressing up on her toes, she kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll see you in a little bit.” I stand watching her walk out the door, closing it behind her. My house instantly feels cold and lonely. Fuck, I can’t lose her.