Chapter Ten

Sophie

His eyes opened, and the pain I saw in them was nearly incapacitating. Cam rolled onto his side and studied me. “You mean it?” he asked quietly as he moved my hand and pressed it against his sternum.

“Of course I do. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it.” I smiled nervously. Truth be told, the act of making it down to the basement in the dark had me wanting his touch as much as he seemed to crave mine. In the quiet, I felt his heart racing in his chest.

Chewing on the side of his cheek, Cam looked away. “What if I need more than that?”

I slipped under the covers, moving until my body was pressed against his. Every bit of this was new and unusual for me. I’d never kissed a guy before tonight. I’d never . . . done anything with a guy. Ever. Now, I was ready to hand over my v-card to a guy I’d known just over a day. Who did that? In my mind, Liz whispered, Whores. And I froze. She could be right. “I’ve never . . .”

“I kinda figured as much. No worries. We’ll wait. Just stay with me. Let me be close to you tonight, Soph.” He rolled onto his side and wrapped his arms around my waist.

Being pressed against the hard planes of his chest and feeling his erection pressed against my thigh had me feeling things I’d never felt before. I mean, I’d read novels. Hell, I’d even rented a porn once out of sheer curiosity. Still, this was different. “I waited. I was holding out for this one guy . . .”

Cam kissed my forehead and knotted his hand in my long, unruly curls. “I get it. I’m not exactly Mr. Experience myself. I’ve been with a couple of girls in high school because . . . everyone was doing it. And if I didn’t, I must be gay, right? So I did it, and it was OK, a whole lot of nothing special. See, the truth was, I had been waiting forever for you, even though I never knew if we’d connect. It was always about you.”

His words made no sense. I frowned and chalked it up to the confusion of his dream. At the same time, the sentiment he shared made perfect sense to me. “I didn’t think I’d ever be with anyone but him,” I murmured, “but more than anything, I want to be with you.” My jaw snapped shut in shame. My cheeks burned.

He lifted my chin with one finger, forcing me to look into his eyes. “Did you just tell me you want this?” He pressed his groin against me, and instinct had me wrapping a leg around his waist. His eyes widened. “I guess so.” Cam blew out a breath. “I don’t have protection, kitten.”

For some reason, this struck me as funny, and I giggled. “I thought all men carried protection.”

He groaned. “Men who have sex carry protection. I just admitted to not having sex for roughly five years. Are you at all familiar with the shelf life of condoms?”

I stared at him blankly for a few seconds, then shook my head.

“Three to five years from the date of manufacture. So no.” Cam sighed. “We should wait. No rush. You know?” He shrugged and held me closer.

This was no good. Instead of relaxing me, there was this thrumming inside my body, and an ache I’d never felt before. I was so affected by it, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep near him. “I need distance,” I mumbled. “I’ll go back up to the couch. We’ll see each other in the morning.”

He frowned. “Is this some kind of ultimatum?”

“No.” My shoulders drooped, and I looked down at the dark, empty space between us. “I can’t be close to you if we don’t do this. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just . . . uncomfortable.”

“I don’t want you to go,” Cam whispered. “I’ll pull out, but it’s still a risk.”

Shaking my head, I gradually raised my head until I met his gaze. I read both excitement and fear in his face, with maybe a hint of something too unfamiliar to name. “Take the risk. What’s the worst thing that happens?”

“Two broken people make a baby.” He shrugged. “And then you’ll be stuck with me forever.”

I eyed him carefully. “And what if we don’t make a baby?”

Cam licked his lips. “I still want to be stuck with you forever.”

“You make no sense,” I complained even as I grinned.

He combed the hair away from my face, his breath tickling my skin and sending tingles throughout my body as he murmured, “One day, I will.”

“You sure about that?” I asked as I ran my hand under his shirt and over his bare skin. When I connected with washboard abs, I actually held my breath. Then I ran my hand around his waist and discovered he had that sexy vee thing going for him. “You can’t possibly be real,” I groaned. “No one is built like this.”

Cam chuckled and slid a hand under the back of my tank, tickling my skin. I wriggled some and realized he was trying to be playful. “You’re so soft,” he commented absently as his fingers teased my skin.

I sighed. “Oh, I’m soft. I’m not remotely athletic. I believe working out is a special kind of torture, and food is meant to be enjoyed. I’m—”

“Perfect. To me, you are perfect, Sophie. Never doubt that.” He leaned low and captured my lips, the intensity of the kiss nearly causing me to pant.

“What are you doing to me?” I whined.

“Well, I’m trying to make love to you. Give me a minute. I’ve only ever fucked before, and even that was five years ago.” He chuckled as he slid the tank up to my shoulders and lifted it over my head.

I cooperated. Why was I cooperating? I closed my eyes. I knew why. I wanted this. It wasn’t simply that I’d tired of being a virgin or thought this might be my only shot at sex my entire life. Oh no, I actually wanted this man who made me forget how broken I was, who made me think I could actually be whole, if only he really, truly could find a way to love me. If I thought he’d stick it out, I might just let myself love him back. What the hell was happening to me? Was I that desperate I’d let a man I’d known for a day completely alter my life?

“I want to change,” I murmured against his cheek while he nuzzled my neck. “I want to be different.”

“We’ll change and be different together,” Cam whispered before kissing his way back to my lips. When he claimed them again, my heart grew, filled with an inexplicable hope.

I whispered against his lips, “I believe you.”

Cam

 

She wants me. This single thought filled me with such excitement that I struggled to treat her the way she deserved as I kissed my way down her torso in between her beautiful perky breasts. If I had to guess, she was a C-cup, not too big, not too small. She was just right in every way. Sure, I had no one to be compared to, but I wanted this to be special. This felt like our first step toward forever. We’d said the words and everything. I was upfront and honest. “I meant what I said,” I whispered against her skin.

“Which part?” Sophie giggled as my stubble scraped her stomach.

“Sorry, I’ll shave,” I murmured as I ran my hands up her sides. I was taking note of everything about her, holding on to it, searing it into my memories. I’d wanted this for so long. Two days ago, it seemed impossible, but now, we were together. I loved being holed up with her. I could stay like this forever. My hands gripped her sides as I slid my thumbs under the waistband of her shorts. I stared at her, wishing I could see more in the darkened room; what little light we had was a product of the outdoors, filtering in through the patio doors. It was still too early for the sun to be rising, but the sky was lightening some. At the moment, I wanted to get her completely naked, feel every bit of her against all of me. I couldn’t wait to experience that kind of intimacy. This would be nothing like the two girls I’d slept with in high school. It could’ve been three, but I’d turned Katie down every time she tried. I knew if I ever wanted a future with her best friend, I could never be with her, even if I might have considered it in a moment of weakness.

A giggle from Sophie interrupted my thoughts. “You stuck? I don’t know much about this, but I’m confident there are at least two items of clothing in the way right now.”

I chuckled. “You think so?”

“Yes, Sparky. Off with the shorts,” she joked. Then in a lower voice, she added, “And the panties.”

Inside me, blood raced to my groin. I never knew it was possible to want someone like this. My past experiences had been about scratching an itch, appeasing my teammates. “Patience.” I grinned even though I doubted she could see it.

“You’re trying to figure out how to take them off, huh?” She propped herself up on her elbows.

“Well, my hands are rather busy right now,” I commented as I moved them up her sides and around to her chest so I could cup each breast. The moment I squeezed her nipples, I heard her moan. “Yeah. Definitely too busy at the moment. I guess we can wait a few minutes. No hurry, right?”

I slid my chest up her body, making sure to rub the length of me against her clit while I made my way up to her shoulders. By the time I began to scrape her skin with my teeth and tease her nipples with my tongue, she was practically writhing under me.

“You sure about those shorts?” she panted.

I gave one nipple a long, lazy suckle before releasing it and watching with satisfaction as it snapped back against her body. “Not positive. More like . . . taking my time. I want every bit of this to be special for you, for us. Firsts matter. Making memories together matters.” I swallowed hard. “You matter more than you’ll ever know.”

Sophie smirked, then pushed me off her, and before I could figure out what she was doing, she pulled her hands from under the covers, with panties in one hand and shorts in the other. “Much better. Now you.” She nudged me while she lay on her side, staring at me with a sweet smile.

Again, I was frozen in time, this moment a culmination of so many hopes, wishes, and dreams. Thankfully, she poked me a few times because in my dazed state, I almost mumbled something crazy that was bound to sound just like I love you. “Me?” I inhaled deeply. The only reason I was still moving at a reasonably romantic pace was my boxer briefs, which safely separated our skin. Without those . . .

Her hand was on my waist, running around the elastic. “Please, Cam. Don’t make me beg.” Then she gazed up at me with such intense longing in her eyes, I could deny her no more.

“I feel like you’re trying to get this over with, which is exactly not how I feel about this.” I combed my hand through her hair. “I need to touch you. I want to get to know every inch of you.”

“Cool. Let’s do it. Start with the inside,” she teased.

I groaned. “You’re killing me. If your body isn’t ready . . .” I frowned.

Closing her eyes, Sophie reached for my hand and pulled it down between her legs. Then she spread them, giving me access to her most private parts. Ever so gently, I cupped her, enjoying the warmth radiating off her skin. I concentrated, trying to make sure she wasn’t giving off even a hint of angst. I needed for her to want this, want me as much as I wanted her. I slowly moved a finger up and down her slit while staring at her face and watching all her nonverbal cues.

When she gasped and licked her lips, I was ready to come undone. She followed with something I never anticipated. Sophie suddenly slid a hand into my boxer briefs. She pressed against my skin, moving lower on my pelvis until she found my erection. I nearly exploded when she wrapped her fingers around it and began to tentatively move her hand up and down my shaft.

Giving in, I stopped touching her long enough to yank off my underwear; then I reached for her, ready to explore her vagina. Again, she willingly offered me access, and I marveled over how calmly she handled all of this. “Are you scared?” I asked quietly while I tried to mentally prepare for any response.

Her head tilted, and her eyes opened. “No.” Sophie shook her head. “I’m excited. I’m a tad apprehensive.” She glanced at my cock while choosing her words. “This is substantial.” Then she giggled. “As far as I know.”

“May you never have anything to compare it to,” I murmured under my breath.

“It’s not big?” Her brow furrowed.

“Oh, it’s above average,” I grumbled. “I don’t want you to ever be with anyone else. I want to be your first and your last, kitten.”

She smiled up at me. “I like that, but isn’t it too soon?”

I grinned as I shook my head. “Maybe for you, but I’ve known for . . . a while.” Then, before she could question me further, I tried to distract her by sliding a finger inside her. She was plenty wet, and I could feel some of my apprehension fading. She truly did want this. Hell, maybe she even needed this like she suggested. And as expected, she was tight. The idea of hurting her even for a moment pained me. Soon my efforts had her slightly flinching. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Soph.”

She breathed in through her nose, her nostrils flaring slightly. “I know what you’re doing. I appreciate it. Just don’t be surprised when I react.”

“I won’t, but don’t tense up. Fight that urge, OK?” If I’d learned anything about injuries, it was that tightening the muscles made it worse.

“I know,” she whispered. “I forget sometimes. Distract me?”

My heart pounded in my chest. “Gladly.” Then I bent my head and began to kiss her again. I loved the feel of our lips touching, the way she panted ever so slightly while my tongue danced with hers. The way she gripped me even more tightly around my cock while her nails bit into my shoulder had me aching for her.

Somehow, I managed to roll Sophie onto her back. Her legs spread wide, and I settled in between them without ever breaking our kiss. “You’re a really good distractor,” she murmured.

“So are you,” I teased as I slid my fingers back inside. I wanted to try for more, but her body refused to accommodate it, and every time I tried, Sophie winced almost imperceptibly, but I knew. I’d always recognize her emotions. I swear I felt them almost as acutely as she did. Removing my fingers, I positioned my head at the entrance and looked at her. “You’re sure, Soph? I’m happy to wait.” My claim wasn’t completely honest. I’d be disappointed, but I’d do whatever I had to in order to ensure we had a future. I was willing to delay for now in order to secure forever.

“I’m positive.” A smile spread across her face, and the way her eyes sparkled in the half-light made me want to get sappy and spout declarations she was unprepared to hear.

Instead, I mumbled something clever like, “OK, then.” I pressed my lips to her forehead, then her cheek. I kissed my way down her throat. Her legs spread wider, and her hands moved along my back, through my hair, and wrapped around my neck. I couldn’t get close enough. With that one thought in mind, I pushed as gently as I could manage to enter her body, all the while feeling completely unprepared and praying I wouldn’t ruin sex for her or create another fear.

Sophie turned her face away, and her head drew back. She inhaled sharply, and I paused, waiting for some sign, but she refused to look at me.

“Too much, kitten? Want me to stop?” I’d been balancing my body weight on the mattress with both arms, afraid I’d crush her. Now, I rested on one and used the other to caress her face.

Turning toward me, Sophie bit her lip and shook her head before speaking. “No. Do it. I’m ready.” Her eyes were wide.

I chuckled. “You don’t look ready.”

She mumbled shyly, “I think it’s the position.”

My brow furrowed. “The position? What would you like? I thought it was easier on you this way . . .” My voice trailed off as I realized my mistake. “You need top,” I whispered.

She gazed up at me in surprise. “Yes, please. How’d you know?”

I rolled, holding her hips and bringing her with me, so she perched on my pelvis. “You need to feel safe and in control. Have at it. I get to watch you, which is fine with me.”

With a shrug, she murmured, “I guess I’m silly like that.”

Reaching up, I pulled her down to meet my lips. After a quick kiss, I struggled to explain, “No, you’re perfect and amazing and beautiful. You have no idea how happy I am simply being with you.”

Without saying another word, Sophie raised her hips, found my cock, and somehow slid it into her body a few inches without even using her hands. Her actions about knocked the wind out of me; then she completely shocked me. Throwing her shoulders back, my sweet little kitten shifted slightly and sat hard, forcing my penis to rip through the membrane I’d hesitated to breach moments ago. I think we were equally surprised. “Are you OK?” I was filled with guilt. This hadn’t hurt me at all. In fact, she felt so warm and snug around me, I could seriously enjoy this if she would.

“Burning. Gimme a minute.” She sat back, still impaled on me, and closed her eyes before she finally began to move her hips again.

All the while, I lay there and stared up at her in wonder. I’d catch her studying me, staring into my eyes. She had to know. How could she not? Everything in me screamed out I love you.

Suddenly, Sophie changed. The way she rode me, the way her eyes took on a distant look, the way her breathing became tiny pants. I found her rhythm and matched it with my hips. The whole time, I’d been hanging on by a thread, doing everything I could to last. I had no illusions we’d somehow magically experience a simultaneous orgasm, but I really wanted to hold out long enough for her to have her first with me.

Finally I felt it happening. She gasped and slowed as her body contracted around mine. The tightening was more than I could handle. When I was sure she’d finished, I rolled her onto her back without even slipping from her body. Then I wrapped my arms around her, one forearm under her pelvis, tilting it perfectly to meet my thrusts, the other gripping her shoulder. I stared into her eyes while I pushed as deeply inside her as our bodies would allow. Though her face showed no signs of pain, there was some other look I read. My heart raced. Inside her, I grew impossibly large and hard, incredibly aware of even the slightest movement, the friction pushing me closer to exploding within her.

“You sure you don’t want me to pull?” I choked out.

“Nope. In me. Remember?” Something flashed in her eyes, and feeling completely emboldened, I decided to name it.

“Here’s to forever,” I whispered as I gazed down at her. I’d always been easy to read. Everything she could possibly want to know was staring her in the face. To further erode any doubts, I erupted inside her while her legs wrapped around my hips. For the first time, I knew how sex was supposed to be. This was how love was supposed to feel. This was the life I was supposed to live with the girl of my dreams who had become the woman of my reality. In this moment, my fears were silenced, and where I’d felt empty, I finally felt whole.