Dad’s Best Friend

BLURB

Losing my parents was one of the hardest things that I’d ever been through. I was just a teenager and needed my mom. Through legal paperwork as well as love, I went to live with Dad’s best friend, Perry Adams.

They were friends since grade school, and I didn’t know anyone better than Perry. It was perfect.

Then came the years when I grew older and more aware of hormones and emotions. I knew it was wrong to want to sleep with a man that was twice my age as well as such a close member of my family.

It just got harder, though. I knew so many guys at school that would take care of my needs, but they were crass and immature.

They weren’t Perry.

Before I knew it, I was graduating from college and more attracted to him. He suggested a trip together to celebrate, and I agreed, with no intentions of anything happening between us.

Then there was a kiss, and we couldn’t stop it.

Was there a future for Perry and me?

Could we get past all the wrongs in our relationship?

Could I start my life without him in it now that I didn’t have to stay?

 

CHAPTER ONE

Caroline

I braided my hair over my shoulder before I left my room and headed down the two sets of stairs to the kitchen for my coffee since no day could start without it. I had a mid-morning class at school today, but I was up late studying for the test I was taking in it. I needed the caffeine desperately. I looked into the sunken living room to see Perry sitting on the couch as he read the paper, and I smiled to myself. He was twenty years my senior but hot as hell, something that just sounded scandalous considering that he had been my legal guardian for eight years now. I thought about the time as I poured the smooth roast that he brewed every morning and grinned as he called out to me. “Morning, Caroline.”

“Good morning, Perry. How was your night?” I asked as I dumped some cream into the big cup and stirred it slowly, lost in the swirls of dark brown and white before they blended together. I knew that he was out late and didn’t want to think about him being on a date, or what might have happened on it if he was.

Perry would probably never look at me the way that I did him. I was just a scared thirteen-year-old when I moved into this house after losing my adoring parents in a plane crash, uncertain of my future and what was going to happen. It only made sense that I would move in with Perry since he was Dad’s best friend since they were in elementary school. I wasn’t close enough to the four siblings of my parents to feel comfortable going to them, and Perry offered before knowing that he was my godfather, to begin with. He offered when I was born, but who knew that it would ever happen this way?

“Good. I went to the bar with some friends after work.” No real date but who was I kidding? Perry looked younger than his forty-two years and with his dark tousled hair and cerulean eyes, women were likely falling at his feet daily. Not to mention the time that he spent in the gym near the architecture firm that he owned, making him muscular, toned, and insanely sexy. “Did you hide in your cave and study all night?”

“You know it. I live such a glamorous life,” I quipped as I felt him come to stand near me, smelling like the forest that we lived in along with that peppermint soap that he used. I silently inhaled the scent that promised me so much warmth, annoyed that coffee got in the way of my enjoyment.

“You’ve worked your ass off for this degree. Don’t ever feel like that isn’t an accomplishment, Caroline.” His voice was lightly reprimanding, and I smiled at him as I looked into his model perfect face. “You’re twenty-one now and graduating soon. There’s plenty of time for fun.” Did Perry realize that I was a mature twenty-one-year-old woman as much as he sounded like he did? I was skinny with acne when I moved in here, but now I had generous curves and my mom’s pretty caramel hair and Dad’s light green eyes.

The immature boys at UCCS told me that I looked like a pin-up girl as they looked me over as though I was a piece of steak. They compared me to Bettie Page or Dita Von Teese, but it didn’t work on me. I grew up with one of the most handsome and caring men in the world, so their words were not going to get them in my pants. Nobody ever had, making me the only twenty-one-year-old virgin on the planet; at least in my mind. I was saving myself for Perry, and he would more than likely never see me that way. “I know. I don’t mind sticking around the house since it’s amazing here.”

Perry built this place in Colorado when I was ten, tucked in the trees of the spread-out forest but close enough to get into town for whatever we needed. It was beautiful and private, but sometimes it felt like a prison to me. I started developing all kinds of feelings for Perry once I turned sixteen and hid them since that was wrong in every way. I should have probably slept with someone and gotten it out of the way, but no guy in school, high school or college, ever appealed to me. I just lived with my growing desire for the man that was something of a stepfather to me, using it to get myself off so much that I was satisfied with it in a sick way. It was like that for years, but once I was turning twenty, it made sense that it could happen for us. He was the only one that respected me the way that I needed to give myself to somebody.

I guess it went back to my mother telling me about having strong feelings for someone before I gave them that since it was meant to be so much more than physical. For women, it was emotional and no matter what, Mom warned that I’d have some attachment to the first person that I had sex with. I kept that in my mind after she was gone and the years flew by. Perry gave me a safe place to live and all the stability that a girl could ever want and I felt guilty that I wanted him so much.

Now that I felt like I was going to be a real adult soon, I found it hard to ignore this attraction. I wanted him to see me as more than a daughter figure even though he’d been raising me as such so long.

“Caroline? Where are you?” His voice broke into my thoughts as I blinked and realized that I was still staring at him. I was obsessed or headed there, and I laughed as I shrugged.

“I guess I’m in bed mentally. Studying and all,” I smiled weakly and sipped the coffee that suddenly didn’t taste as good. “I need to get to school and take that test. See you later?”

“I’ll grill some chicken and those marinated veggies that you like for dinner,” he assured me as I nodded and smiled again. I poured the coffee into one of the Starbucks travel cups that I kept myself stocked up on for the drive, grabbing everything I needed before I walked out to my early graduation gift.

Perry bought me a brand-new Lexus LX, telling me how proud he was that I’d kept my grades high through all the years in school, something that he was worried about after I lost my parents. He’d seen to it that I got the best grief counseling then and told me to talk to him whenever I wanted.

I didn’t ask him about the things that I’d go to Mom about. I was an only child since she suffered an accident after my birth that prevented her from having more children. I knew that they could have adopted a child, but Mom always told me what a great little family we were, able to travel and see the world when I was young. I went to all the kid-friendly places from the time I turned four, in the states or otherwise. My father worked hard as a psychologist and wanted to show me various cultures, places and for me to have an open mind about life in general.

I wondered what his advice would be to me as a patient that just lost her entire family sometimes. The therapist that I did get worked through all my emotions didn’t tell me to repress them. She wanted me to feel grief, anger, sadness, and anything else that came along and acknowledge that. It was the only way to move forward.

I joined a gym in my teens, finding that exercise helped me immensely during my bad times. Perry found the best one in that case as well. He always took such good care of me. He did everything that my parents would and more, slowly showing me that he was there for me until the end. There would always be a part of me that feared him dying or leaving me, but Perry took the time to prove to me that he had no intentions of that.

I was secure to the fact that he cared for me, though I wish that it was in the same manner that I wanted him.

 

CHAPTER 2

Perry

I watched quietly as Caroline left for school, finishing my coffee. I thought back to the night before when I’d met a woman who offered me a night with no strings after I’d drunk a few beers. She was attractive enough with blonde hair and a hot little body, but I was tired from a long day at the office and just wanted to be home. This was the place that I felt the most secure and comfortable, loving the relationship that I had with Caroline. I knew when she was a baby that she was going to wrap me around her little finger and she did, breaking my heart when I had to tell her that her parents were dead. Her eyes filled with tears, and I pulled the girl that still seemed so small in my arms, even though she was well on the way into growing into a woman.

Even if I weren't the caregiver, I’d have fought for her. I knew her parents well and what they wanted for her. I offered for her to move in as soon as it felt appropriate and she told me that she would no matter what the will said. Her parents, Brandon and Mila Jameson weren’t close to any of their family because of dysfunction and they kept their daughter away from all of that.

I smiled as I thought of my best friend. Brandon was focused and driven since the moment that I met him and he got through school with honors, at which point we collaborated in the architecture firm together with money from our trust funds. Luckily, we did well from the get-go, and our money stayed in the investment accounts, and we could add more as the success just grew.

I slowly saved enough to first buy a condo near the office and then I had this house built. I never expected it to be Caroline’s home, but I was glad that it was when the accident happened. The house always brought me peace and it seemed to do the same for her as she got through the hard months following the loss of her parents. I didn’t hover with Caroline because I knew that she was a strong girl deep inside as well as the fact that I didn’t want to bother her. I made it clear that I was always there for her and did the best I could, wishing that I was married so she would have something of a mother in her life. It just never happened, not with my working as much as I did once I had to replace Brandon. He was a hard worker, and we just knew each other so well, and I made it my life’s work to keep the company doing as well as it always had. I was around for Caroline as far as having dinner together and seeing what she needed as far as help with school, but once that was done I would often be up late working from home.

I never had to worry about her in school too much. Caroline was brilliant and was always in honor classes from middle school and on. She was a teacher’s favorite every single year and a good friend to her small group of people that stayed together all through high school and college. They were all rather introverted people and kept to themselves, not partying too much or causing any trouble.

I was surprised in Caroline’s senior year when she brought home a guy that could only be described as your textbook bad boy. He was tall and careless in nature with tattoos covering the skin of his arms. We had a few dinners together, and it was evident that he wasn’t a smart guy like she was as well as older than she was by more than a couple of years. He wasn’t her type, and I sensed that she was not all that into him despite his handful of appearances at the house.

I expressed my concern about her dating such a guy and she stared at me with an unreadable gaze before disappearing to her room. Soon after that, the guy didn’t come around any longer. Did she dump him because of what I said or did something happen between them? The idea of him hurting her made my blood boil, but she merely told me that it didn’t work out when I asked a couple of weeks after not seeing him. Nothing more and nothing less.

I was glad not to see her in his presence. I didn’t know what guy would make me happy when it came to Caroline like any father figure might think. I stepped into Brandon’s shoes as best as I knew how and tried to see things as he and Mila would. They were such a close family and while I couldn’t replicate that, I tried to be constant for her.

Caroline met a few of the women I dated for longer than a few months, getting closer to some, more than others. She seemed to like to have another female to cook with, talk with and just be a girl with. I couldn’t offer that.

Then the relationship would seem to end naturally, and Caroline looked like she was relieved. Was she judging the women as much as I judged her one boyfriend? I didn’t understand, but at least Caroline wasn’t upset. I worried about her getting close to one of the women and feeling lost when she was gone, never able to forget the look in her eyes when she knew that her mother was gone. It broke my heart.

I sensed that Caroline built walls around herself after her parent’s death, even with me. She went to her therapist, and I assume that she spoke a lot about her feelings in that room, keeping quiet at other times. We’d talk about her parents sometimes, sharing laughter over memories and holidays spent together and I could tell that she enjoyed it. It just wasn’t frequent.

She’d grown into a beautiful woman and a mix of both parents. I hated the curves that came with age, knowing that men would be breathing down her neck. Persistence would get them close to her, and Caroline would give them what they wanted of her, resulting in tears and a broken heart. It would lead to me wanting to kill a kid that was just starting his life. Brandon used to joke about cleaning a shotgun when boys came over later when his daughter was older, and it all made sense now.

I didn’t want to see her get hurt. Nobody would when they were raising someone the way that I was.

Caroline seemed to have an interest in men before and after the one senior year. I noticed a few late nights out that went unexplained and some calls and texts here and there, but she always seemed to be focused on me and the house. Caroline seemed to observe me, and I’d watch her as she’d frown and leave the room, hating that someone was making her sad. I wanted her to be comfortable in this house since it was hers as well as mine, and never understood why she was downstairs with her phone instead of in her own room like most teenagers. Colleagues complained to me that they never saw their kids and that it seemed like a fight to spend time with them, but Caroline was around a lot. She enjoyed cooking and cleaning, taking care of me and seeing me happy. She did it even when I was dating someone and sometimes it bothered the woman. I wondered if a few relationships didn’t end because I was raising a teenager.

I would always choose Caroline. She lost the two people that meant the most to her, and I wasn’t going to abandon her. If I didn’t find something perfect that would suit the situation, then I’d just wait. I was in no rush to get married. In truth, Brandon and I had both been interested in Mila when we met her in a college class. She was a bubbly and beautiful girl, but he won her over within just a few moments. There were times when I was bitter and a bit envious, but they fell in love quickly and were married within a couple of years. Once they had Caroline, I had someone to spoil and love, and I felt like it was my life that was complete.

I wondered if I would meet someone and want what my friends had. Everything was so casual with the women that I dated, and I never felt that connection and the years flew by before I found myself as the caretaker of a young girl that needed me more. I didn’t even think about dating for the first couple of years once she moved in with me, too focused on making sure she was okay. I got her a grief counselor, a membership to the best gym when she expressed interest in that, and instruments and technology as she expressed interest in anything. I had money, and I could give her any material thing that she needed. It was all that I knew how to do and what I’d done all along.

Now that she was going to be graduating soon, I wanted to do something special for Caroline. I was going to take her to dinner somewhere around the ceremony, but I needed to go bigger. She made me so proud, and I knew that her parents were watching from above. I know that they’d do something special for Caroline and I wanted her to feel as important as she was to all of us.

I’d start tonight by making her favorite dinner. She loved it, and I wanted to make her happy. I’d figure something else out for the rest.

 

CHAPTER 3

Caroline

I got through the test and felt good about it, driving home yawning with every intention of taking a nap. I knew that I was focusing too much on my feelings for Perry and longed to just let them go. That was difficult, given what he’d come to mean to me over the last several years. He was one of the best uncles for the first thirteen years of my life, always doting on me and taking me out to ice cream or the movies. He went to any game that I played in my early years, rooting me on from the stands as I grinned and looked over several times at him and my parents. It was the greatest childhood a girl could ask for, and I felt lost when it ended so abruptly.

I knew that Perry was the only person that could take any kind of care of me. My family was distant from my parents, so why would they want me? How would I know that they loved me the way that he did, and not the money left to me by my parents? They saw that I’d be okay in life, at least financially as well as surrounded by love when they left me in the care of Perry. There was no better place for me even if he was a bit awkward about it in the beginning.

Looking back as I parked my car, I had a lot of happy memories here. He gave me everything that he could and made sure that I was set in life. Perry did the best that he could, and I loved him for it.

I just loved him in the wrong way.

I pulled off my jeans and sweater, dropping on my bed as I took a slow breath. I shoved one leg under my rumpled sheets and closed my eyes as my body heated up. I had been overwhelmed with thoughts of Perry all day and my hand slipped between my legs, needing the release. I imagined him as I worked my clit, having saved some of the best images over the years in my mind. Perry was sexy in all states, but when we spent time in the pool in the summer, it took all my self-control not to get myself off right there, not to mention attack him. He went to the gym regularly and looked amazing. He was proud of his body, almost to a fault and had no issues showing it off. I wanted him to notice me in the bathing suits that got smaller when my courage grew, but he never seemed to. Perry would just tell me not to wear them out in public with that familiar protective tone in his voice.

I wanted to go down naked to make him see what I was feeling.

We worked out at the same gym as well as our home one, and I’d sneak peeks as he lifted weights and worked out every part of his masculine form. Perry wasn’t going for the build of a bodybuilder as much as he had toned muscles and lean planes in his body. He just wanted to keep up with his busy life and be as healthy as possible. I knew deep down that a lot of that had to do with me and was based on some belief that he couldn’t leave me as well. That made me sometimes cry because I couldn’t imagine life without him. I was twenty-one and had all the money that I needed to live as an adult, but I needed Perry. It twisted my insides when I thought about that and how much I wanted him. It wasn’t right, at all. I wanted to push all the desire and emotion away, but it had grown steadily after living here with him. It was powerful and real to me, and I struggled inside as a human being, as a woman.

I came to the image of him sweaty as he lifted some weights, every muscle in his back taut. I held in my cries, never knowing if he was close in this big house. I wanted to scream his name and give Perry credit for what he did to me. Not here, though. I rocked against my hand, prolonging the pleasure until I couldn’t stay awake any longer. I dropped back onto my pile of pillows and gave in to my exhaustion.

I must have slept hard because I woke up to the sound of Perry’s voice, turning my head to see him looking at me with shocked eyes. “Huh?”

“Dinner will be ready in a few minutes,” he stammered before leaving my room and pulling the door closed. I glanced down and saw that I was dressed only in a tank top, bra and a pair of panties that were askew from my earlier activity. I was barely covered with my sheet, running hot on a regular basis, and always kicking blankets off to begin with. There was a part of me that was admittedly ashamed that he’d seen me in such a state. There was another deeper part of me, a carnal part that loved the way that he was looking at me. It was a part of me that wanted to do it again, to break him down so that he wanted me as much as I did him. I knew there was something in his gaze that told me that he did, even if it was a part of him that he was denying.

I hopped out of bed and changed into some leggings in the bathroom after I freshened up. I could still smell the lingering scent in my bedroom of my masturbation, and I suspected that he could as well. I pulled a longer t-shirt over the pants, wearing only a camisole underneath with no underwear under the leggings. It wasn’t the first time I’d done this. It was my home, and I deserved to be comfortable.

I headed downstairs to see him in the kitchen with platters of chicken and vegetables on the counter, smelling delicious. I walked over to get plates and glasses, taking them to the table automatically as I took in the majestic view with a smile. Perry followed with one of the platters, and I grabbed the other before I took my seat at the end of the table and Perry at the other. It wasn’t a big table at all, meant for the two of us when we didn’t have guests, but there was room to sit beside one another. He chose not to do that, and I took the bottle of wine that he’d opened for us and poured a glass, something that he typically did. I sipped as I watched him load up his plate without eye contact and longed for the closeness that I was accustomed to.

Where was the balance that I craved? Where was the relationship that I wanted with him so badly?

Perry seemed to relax as we ate, asking me about my tests as he seemed to grow more comfortable with me as the moments passed. I admitted that I was certain I scored a good grade, as I often did and he seemed pleased as he asked me what my plans were after graduation.

My degree was in graphic design so I had a lot of places I could live while doing that. I also minored in Journalism, since that style of writing always fascinated me as well. I felt that it gave me a lot of options when I chose it, even though I wanted to be here with Perry for the rest of my life.

“I’m not sure. I suppose I’ll find a job and learn how to be a real adult,” I answered lightly as he frowned. “I could work anywhere, actually. I have the internships with the best firms in the area as experience, right?”

“You can do whatever you dream, Caroline. Anything.” Perry smiled at me, and I forced one back. “Taking those internships that last years of college were smart on your part. You have experience in both of your fields, and you could work at a firm doing design while you did some freelance writing, if you chose to. Though I don’t want you to work too hard,” he added as something crossed his face.

“Like you do?” I teased him as our gazes locked for a moment.

“Exactly like me. I used work to cope when we lost your parents, and I think I could have made better use of my time. I feel like I ran away from it,” he said in a rare moment of honesty.

“We both did the best that we could with what we had. I love you for all that you did for me, gave me…it was perfect and what they would have wanted. Dad worked a lot too, and Mom was always taking on a writing project that pushed her limits. It’s in my blood to work hard, I think.” I wiped the tear that slid down my cheek as I kept my eyes on his face, feeling vulnerable in this moment. I wanted to tell him that I loved him in ways that were wrong but they felt so right. I wanted to say that I wanted to be the woman that took care of him and made him happy in every way. “Perry…I could never express my gratitude to you properly.” Though I could, in his bed or mine. I wanted to learn every inch of his sinful body and what made him come the hardest, thoughts that warmed my face as I took another gulp of my wine.

“You do every day, Caroline. I love you, too.” He told me as I stared past him at the window to clear my mind of the carnal thoughts that were filling it. Did he?

We cleaned up together as we always did, though I found myself playing back our conversation. I’d tried a few tactics in the past to test Perry’s feelings for me, with Colton being one of the bolder ones. He was the bad boy at school, and every girl wanted him. I had to admit that there was something sexy about him though I was just using him as a decoy to make Perry jealous. Colton came over for dinner a few times, and we went out for a couple of months once I sank my claws into him. He wasn’t a deeply intelligent guy, but he could hold a conversation with my guardian, even though I listened to Perry speak more than my own boyfriend. How sick was that?

Colton was used to women giving into his needs and slowly started to pressure me to sleep with him. I assumed that he was a good kisser, though I always went back to wondering what Perry’s mouth tasted like when we were together in those moments. I knew deep down that I couldn’t give Colton what he wanted and once Perry seemed to express that he was merely concerned with my getting hurt in the relationship, I quietly ended things. Colton moved on quickly, and I didn’t care. I was never interested in him, and I tried with other guys since that is what friends seemed to be doing in their lives.

I found myself paying attention to what Perry did as a reaction to all my attempts. Jealousy was a game played well by teenage girls from what I could see, but he didn’t seem to respond like the guys my friends liked in school. Perry was strict in his reactions, never letting on that he knew what I was up to, just looking on as he warned me about what assholes guys could be.

It was just what Dad would have told me, but Perry wasn’t my father. He was the center of my being. This was so very complicated.

 

CHAPTER 4

Perry

I played back the image of Caroline on her bed that day, sleeping soundly with her hand draped over her thigh. She wasn’t naked, but I saw her curves and pale skin more than I needed to, stirring something inside of me. She was beautiful, just like her mother. I knew from the scent in the air and the way her lace panties were twisted just a bit that she was making herself come at some point that day, something that I wanted to deny but couldn’t. Caroline was my niece though not by blood, and I wanted to see her as an innocent girl, not someone that felt lust and desire the same way that I did.

I loved to watch a woman make herself come. It was that way in person with a close intimate partner as well as a choice in viewing porn, and the idea made me hard as I stepped into the shower. Did Caroline do that for a man, perhaps that punk ass kid from high school? Did he know what she sounded like when she came on her hand or even wrapped tightly around his cock? Fuck…I reached down and stroked myself under the hot water as guilt flooded me. “I’m sorry, Brandon,” I whispered as I gripped tighter and closed my eyes. “She’s so fucking beautiful.”

I wondered how she did it as I moved my hand hard and fast. Was she a clit girl or did she fuck herself with her fingers? Oh, fuck. I jerked and sprayed the wall with my release, taking deep breaths as I gasped her name. This was wrong, so fucking wrong. I felt the waves of pleasure continue as I reminded myself that she was my niece and that I was her guardian. I was here to care for Caroline and send her into the world as a strong woman, not to fuck her. God, I wanted to right now. I finished in the shower and cleaned up, drying off as I looked myself in the mirror.

I went back to when she was a baby, sweet and full of laughter. I was young then, fucking women left and right as I watched my friends fall deeper in love even though they were so close to my age. Could I find that?

I spent more time with Caroline as she grew, loving her intelligence and wit. Even as I kept sleeping around town, I never found a woman my age that I respected as much. I started to believe that my standards were too high, even though I lowered them when Caroline was living with me and I thought that she needed a woman in her life.

They always seemed to like her as a person, though not our relationship. They were jealous of all that I did for Caroline, wanting the attention for themselves. She came first as if she was my own daughter.

She wasn’t though, something I knew as she approached her late teens. Caroline was beautiful, and her level of maturity only made her glow more. She had a lot to offer a man, and now it hit me that she knew that. I dressed in shorts to go downstairs for some water. The house was a three-level home with a lot of space. Caroline had the floor just below me with her big room and bathroom, and I had a room in a similar size. There were three guest bedrooms on the first floor as well as a large gym and office for me. I had a lot of money, but I wasn’t the kind of man to be cocky about that. I built my house with my needs in mind, not adding garish things such as bowling alleys and theaters. I could go out and do both of those if I chose to, allowing myself a ninety-inch TV in my sunken living room to enjoy movies and television on. That was enough since I had little time for more than catching the scores of the day.

I liked seeing Caroline watch movies in there, the fire going as she snuggled under one of the many blankets. I was an admitted bachelor before she moved in and Caroline made me add some softer touches to my home. She spent a lot of time in that room; studying, reading, or watching television even though I expected her to spend a lot of time in her bedroom. It was generously sized and overlooked the forest below us, something that I loved in my own room. Caroline preferred being downstairs, maybe feeling like she wasn’t alone or something along those lines. I spent more time in there when she came to live with me, working on my laptop a lot with the background noise of whatever show was on the set.

It felt like a family, something that I never would have asked for the way that I received it. I was torn between my grief and the fact that I liked her being here with me.

Now, I’d just jerked off to Caroline in my shower. What kind of monster was I?

I pulled a shirt over my torso, something that wasn’t typical of me. I preferred comfort, and I always thought that I kept that at an acceptable level with Caroline before now.

I swallowed thickly when I saw her sitting at the table dressed in those damn leggings and a more fitted t-shirt, reading a book. I knew that she went to school later today since it was Thursday and I walked over to pour some coffee. I planned to work from home today but considered changing my mind with her home. I couldn’t allow this to take me over. This was my house, and I had the control to handle this situation, looking at her as she tucked a curl slowly behind her ear before glancing at me. “Good morning.” The look in her eyes made me wonder if she knew what I’d done before I pushed the absurd idea out of my mind. It wasn’t possible.

“Morning. Sleep well?” I asked as she smiled slowly and nodded.

“Yes, very well.” She looked into my eyes. “How about you?”

“Great.” My answer was clipped, and she frowned before she looked down at her book again. Shit. I needed to get control of myself. “I might go into the office for a bit. Do you need anything while I’m out?”

“No, thank you.” Caroline didn’t look at me as she spoke and I walked over to her slowly. I kissed her hair, wishing it was innocent as I walked away to dress for the office.

I had pulled on slacks and a button up shirt before I walked out to my black Yukon to drive into the city. I resented myself for needing to leave my paradise as well as Caroline. Hell, I even resented Brandon and Mila for a fleeting moment as I pulled onto the two-lane road to head to the freeway.

Work had always been my escape, and now I found myself giving into that all over again.

I walked into the building and sat at my desk as I turned on my computer, well-aware that my assistant poked her head in to stare at me. She knew that I tried to force myself not to work my life way, being an employee for ten years now as well as a friend. There was never anything more even though she was thirty-one and closer to my age as well as attractive. She even had the intelligence that I appreciated, but I was never attracted to the petite raven haired woman that was married for a year now. I expected her to be pregnant anytime, something I thought would suit her well. “What are you avoiding today?”

“Nothing, Stella. I just wanted to get some work done,” I replied as I gave her a smile.

“You live in the most beautiful place in this state, and you can’t work there? What gives?”

“I come in on Thursday sometimes. I come in on the weekends sometimes,” I defended myself as her dark brown eyes narrowed in a sharp gaze. Damn it, she knew me well having seen me go through some less complicated relationships. “How’s Michael?”

“The best hubby in the world,” she gushed as I grinned. “That’s not getting you off the hook, though, Perry. You’ll talk one of these days.” She was right in that I probably would. Stella knew Caroline well and liked her a lot, though I wasn’t sure if she’d change her opinion of me after the conversation. Her husband was my age, and they got on well, though that was quite a difference from the age gap that I shared with Caroline. Stella cracked my door, and I looked over the city as I collected my thoughts.

I started working on a new project, a series of hotels that were going up in tropical locations and were sure to be successful. They were the perfect mix of comfort and luxury in places that would offer virtually unlimited activities for guests, and one of my benefits is that I’d get to stay in them anytime that I wanted. I had a lot of choices for vacations because of this job, wondering why I didn’t take more for a moment. I could do that for Caroline, though the idea of being alone with her scared me right now.

I finished the design of the lobby, offering a bar and restaurant as well as a spacious front room. It would offer a library as well as a movie theater for guests. It was going to be stunning, and I smiled at the design as I moved on to the rooms. They were large with balconies that overlooked the water and beaches, offering a place of sanctuary for the guests. They could dine there, have coffee, and even sleep with the space that I was offering.

I found the time passing quickly and glanced down at the clock on my monitor to see that it was approaching evening. I blinked and felt grateful that I loved my job before I thought about dinner. I knew that Caroline loved Thai food and there was a great place on the way home that I could get take out from. She would more than likely be home studying and we could eat in the living room as we often did.

I realized as I waited for the food that was something I loved about having her with me. I enjoyed the time spent together, and I didn’t want to tarnish it with my new carnal thoughts of her. I took the bags to the car and drove home as I thought about everything that was happening, realizing that it might stop when she moved out of the house and started her own life.

 

CHAPTER 5

Caroline

I glanced up from the couch where I was studying as the garage door opened. I smelled the food before Perry looked into the room from the kitchen and held up the familiar bag. “Sound good?”

“You read my mind,” I answered as I stood and stretched, setting my book carefully down before I walked into the kitchen. I was wearing some loose pajama pants and a clingy tank top, trying to find a healthy level between comfortable and teasing in my clothing. I knew that I had full breasts that men often ogled and I should think harder about that here, but I wore a sports bra underneath so my all too sensitive nipples wouldn’t show. I loaded my plate with all my favorites and returned to the couch as he grabbed a beer and followed. “How was work?”

“I got a lot accomplished. That new resort is going to be beautiful,” he told me as I smiled and nodded. “I might have to take a vacation once it’s built.”

“You aren’t good at those, but you should be. You have designed so many amazing places, Perry.” My eyes were hard on him as he sipped from the bottle and looked back at me.

“I know. I was thinking that I needed to relax more today while working. Maybe we can get away to celebrate your graduation?” He had suggested before his eyes widened and something that looked like regret crossed his face.

“Seriously?” I asked with a smile on my face, one that was more than just being grateful. I wasn’t sure if he was playing a joke or not, but the idea of a vacation with Perry made my body heat up.

“Sure,” He sounded confident in his response. “We can take a week or two and go anywhere you want.” Perry offered as I chewed my noodles slowly. Jesus. He knew how much I liked the ocean since we didn’t live close to it and I knew that I could bring all my little bikinis. I couldn’t stand the idea of other men looking at me other than Perry, but I would make sure I packed my best ones.

“I’ll think it over since I still have a couple months of school. Thank you, Perry. I know how much you like to be home.” My eyes were warm and happy as I looked at him.

“This is for both of us. I need to learn to enjoy all that life has to offer,” he replied, looking back at me. We continued to eat as he watched a rare full hockey game while I read a book, taking notes as I glanced at him from time to time. I knew that he couldn’t read my mind, but some deep thoughts were going on behind my eyes. Perry made his way to bed first, making me soon follow as I watched some porn and masturbated to it furiously as I imagined what it would be like with him in some paradise.

He went into the office at the usual early hour the following day, seemingly determined to stick to a schedule. I knew that he needed that to live his life the best way that Perry knew how: working. I wondered why he looked tired though as he smiled and left quietly in the morning just after I woke up.

The weeks passed a lot of time working hard on my studies. Perry knew that it was hard the last year and gave me room and support as needed. He knew that I wanted to finish my college career with top grades.

I admitted a week before graduation that I’d looked into resorts and decided on one called The Brando in French Polynesia. He did some research after my confession and agreed that it was gorgeous. The resort was very private. It seemed like more of a romantic setting to me, though there was a lot to see and do. We could make it just a trip since families probably went there all the time. We were a family, right?

Perry booked the trip for a month out, shocking me when he told me that he set aside three weeks away from home with the knowledge that he could work there if absolutely necessary. I thought that it would be good for him as well, which is why I showed so much excitement at the extra time even as I wondered if any of the amount would feel like too much with my feelings for him.

I acted thrilled when he told me the dates. I was mostly done with classwork and went shopping for some vacation clothes. Perry picked the beginning of May to leave since I worked so hard to get ahead and graduation would be done. We could both really relax.

Perry smiled as I brought home shorts, skirts, and shirts to wear. There were also new swimsuits that were sure to torment him, and I was surprised to see him excuse himself quickly to go upstairs as I held them up, looking uncomfortable.

Perry was becoming an addiction to me, and I regretted the trip momentarily as I stepped under the hot water of my shower again. How could I bear it when we were virtually alone in that place?

We got through the days by working a lot and focusing on my graduation. We both felt my parents with us as he sat alone and watched as I crossed the stage with tears in my eyes. Perry told me many times that he was so fucking proud of me, making me feel a little guilty for my feelings that were developing for him. My friends told me that I glowed when I smiled and took the picture up there and he stood back afterward to watch me embrace my friends and closest teachers. Did he think the same thing?

He took me to my favorite seafood place and ordered a small bottle of their best champagne to toast with as I smiled at him. I knew that he was determined to make this a special night and I smiled as he slipped a small, wrapped gift across the table. “Perry, what is this?” I asked as I took the silver wrapped box and stared at him.

“Just open it,” he told me in a raspy voice as I leaned forward and tore carefully at the paper. It was a red box, and I opened it, peering inside as I struggled to see what it was in the dim light of the room. There was a candle at the table, and as I turned the box over to slide a chain with a pendant in my hand, I gasped softly.

It was a necklace in the shape of a delicate diamond teardrop that sparkled in the amber glow of the candle. I recognized it, and tears filled my eyes as I remembered my mom wearing it sometimes. “Mom’s necklace?”

“Not only that. That was a gift for their first wedding anniversary. It was before the company really took off and Mila always said that she preferred this over everything from Tiffany’s after and she wanted you to have it on a special occasion if they were ever gone.” His eyes shimmered with tears as he swallowed. “None of us expected anything to happen. I’d give anything to have them here in person tonight, Caroline. I feel like a poor substitute.”

“You are why I am celebrating tonight. I would never be here without you.” I reached across the table to cover his hand with mine, feeling sparks against my skin as our gazes locked. “You gave up your life for me.”

“I did the only thing I knew how to. I gave up nothing,” Perry insisted as I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. The waitress set the bottle down as she eyed our joined hands, pouring it for us as she asked if we needed a moment to decide. I noticed that Perry didn’t make any effort to separate from me, giving the woman the distinct idea that this was a date. I could only imagine what she must think with both of us looking so emotional. “Yes, we’d like that.” She disappeared, and we parted slowly as I licked my lips, his eyes following the movement.

I looked at the necklace again for a long moment before securing it around my neck only to trace it with my fingertips. Perry handed me one of the glasses and paused as he seemed to think about what to say. “Here is to all of your hard work and your focus, Caroline. You have made me so proud, and I know that they can see all of this. Here’s to the future that you are going to have and all of your future success.” I raised my glass, and we clinked them together as a tear slid down my cheek.

“Again, because of you. You didn’t leave me alone,” I said with a trembling voice. “I love you for that, Perry.”

“I love you, too. Always have,” Perry told me, reminding me of how long we’d known each other and what he meant to me. We sipped the bubbly, dry liquid and I laughed as I set it down to dry my eyes.

I opened my menu to read the selections, still playing with the pendant. I went with the usual choice of steak and crab legs while Perry chose the Shrimp Alfredo. The waitress smiled as she glanced between us, assuring us that she’d bring the food over soon.

“Thank you for this…all of this.” I had gestured with my hand before I took a long swallow of the champagne. “I have no idea how to ever thank you properly.” I had many ideas, but they were nothing that I would admit to him.

“It’s a pleasure to see you smile,” Perry told me as I swallowed the lump in my throat. Would my parents hate me for feeling this way about him? Would they support me? “I took a closer look at The Brando. There is a lot to do. Think you’ll be up to most of it?”

I hated talking about it sometimes. I felt like I was taking advantage of his already generous nature when I told Perry yes to the trip. “I think so. Scuba diving might not happen, but I do want to snorkel over the coral and all the sea life. I want to swim at Mermaid Beach and explore every inch of the grounds.”

“That all sounds great to me,” Perry agreed as he slowly sipped from his glass. I knew that he was going to stop since he was driving us home, leaving me to drink most of the bottle. “It is a lovely area and sounds like we’ll have a lot of it to ourselves.”

“I like that idea better than a crowded beach with a million people,” I murmured with some regret as he smiled at me.

“I prefer it as well.” I touched the necklace again, feeling it rest against the burgundy material of the cocktail dress that I wore underneath the gown. All my friends and I went shopping for them together and planned on meeting up later if we weren’t too drunk. That was not possible as I eyed the bottle and took another sip. We had a lot of plans before leaving on the trip.

I was good and buzzed when we finished eating, and I held onto Perry’s arm as we walked to his car. I giggled and chatted as I leaned closer to inhale his scent, wondering if I was imagining things as he stiffened beside me. Perry opened the door to his car, helping me inside as his hand brushed against my bare back.

I shivered, feeling my nipples harden against the dress before he jerked his hand away. I wanted him to keep touching me, to slip my dress off when we arrived home and do it everywhere.

Once we arrived home, Perry told me that he had something to do and left quickly. Of course, he made sure that I didn’t need anything first. I stumbled up to my room and slipped off the dress, managing to find a tank top and some shorts before I stumbled downstairs. I turned on the television, finding something on one of the movie channels that I watched with blurry eyes.

I wanted Perry here with me. Sober, my need for him was strong, but after a little alcohol, it was nearly unbearable. I stared at the people on the screen as they dropped all their clothes and started to have sex, making me moan as I slid my hand between my legs. I didn’t know if I was alone other than the memory of his leaving so fast, but I stroked my clit as the man drove his cock into the woman hard and rough.

I was a virgin but thought that I wanted Perry to treat me that way. I moved my hand down, slipping a finger inside of myself as I kept playing with my clit, gasping as the pressure built up inside of me. I moved deeper and was soon coming as I cried out Perry’s name in a broken voice, relaxing as warmth washed over my fingers and against the shorts that I was wearing. The need to have him inside of me nearly made me weep as I curled my body up into a ball, watching the screen in silence.

I knew that I should get to bed, but I dozed off on the couch, wondering where Perry was.

 

CHAPTER 6

Perry

Once she touched my hand, I was done for. The heat that flowed between us was unlike anything that I ever felt before, and I froze as the waitress brought the champagne. I knew what this looked like, that I should stop but I needed the contact too much. It wasn’t until after that I found the strength to move and make an effort to make a toast.

Caroline looked as disappointed as I felt for a fleeting second before she slipped the necklace around her neck, making me feel emotional all over again, this was an intense day for me, and I raised my glass as I thought about what to say.

I played back the entire day, from breakfast to the moment she walked across the stage, easily the most beautiful woman in the auditorium. I remembered the way she hugged her friends and teachers, as well as the way the guys looked at her. A part of me wondered how many of them felt her wrapped around them, but I pushed it away. That didn’t matter since these people were closer to her age and much more appropriate for her.

I also felt the eyes of the women lingering on me, but I paid them no attention. There was only one woman here that I cared anything about and she was watching me as an older blonde brushed against me, surprising me when she wanted to leave for dinner after that. Caroline murmured something about making the reservation, but I didn’t have a set one. I reserved a table for the night, which was easy since I designed the building. They let me in any time that I wanted.

I walked her to the car, taking in her tight calves in the black pumps as she strode ahead of me, seemingly angry. “Are you okay?” I called out to her as she turned and smiled over her shoulder.

“Of course I am. It’s my graduation, isn’t it?” She questioned me with a bright smile on her beautiful face. She seemed fine when we were at the table and toasting, settling into the meal and ordering her favorite plate. I thought that my toast sounded stilted and not at all like what I intended, but it seemed to make her cry.

I felt the surge of emotions as she told me that she loved me and I couldn’t help but to say it back, trying to remind myself at the end of the nature of that love.

We chatted idly about the trip, and I sensed some discomfort on her part about it. I was certain that she felt guilty about the cost of it and brushed it off as I asked her what she wanted to do. The clothes that she’d purchased were perfect for the trip if not too revealing for me, particularly the bright colored swimsuits. I knew that she’d be stared at constantly and the alpha male in me wasn’t ready for that, much less the part of me that always felt the need to protect Caroline.

She had worked hard at the gym at a young age and looked great as a result. We both ate relatively healthy and kept ourselves in shape and in summer vacation clothes, Caroline was going to be a cock tease for every man within a few feet from her. For that matter, women too though I didn’t think that was her thing.

I knew that she was well on the way to being drunk when we left, giggling, and chatting as she pressed close to me. I felt her hold tight onto my arm as she leaned close, tensing as my body responded to her all too quickly. When I helped her into the car, I felt her soft, hot skin against my hands all over again and knew that I couldn’t take it any longer. I closed her door after removing my hand from her body, texting a massage therapist that I’d seen a few times when I was looking for something extremely casual with no strings attached. We’d never had sex before but tonight was going to be different since I hadn’t been with a woman for a few weeks since realizing my feelings for Caroline.

I had to work her out of my system lodged deep inside of another woman’s pussy, and Brianna was my first choice. I knew that she was a professional and that I could get what I needed and leave.

I drove her home, trying not to be too aware of her sweet scent and the fact that she was drunk. Drunk meant vulnerable and knew from her actions tonight that she’d give herself to me without any hesitation. I didn’t want it that way with Caroline, so I was going to make sure that she was safe before I left. Hell, she’d better be passed out and alone. I didn’t want anyone else touching her either unless it was her own hand.

That I wanted to see, nearly making me consider staying home. Instead, I brought Caroline into the house and made sure that she was going to stay home, explaining that I had somewhere to go for a bit. Her face fell, but she told me that she was just going to change and watch some television and enjoy the buzz. I watched her head upstairs and then come back down before I quietly left, hard as a rock.

I got into my car and drove to Brianna’s apartment, using my navigation to get there since it had been a while. I parked in the lot and went to knock firmly on Brianna’s door, watching as she opened it dressed in a short black dress with a tank top wrapped around her neck that offered plenty of her cleavage. “Feeling tense?” She asked me as I strode in, heading past the spare room that she used as a massage room to the next door down. “Perry? That’s the bedroom.”

I paused and turned to look at her, seeing understanding cross her face. “You fuck, don’t you? I’ll pay you extra for anything you let me do to you.”

“Yes, for you.” Her voice was soft as she walked towards me with wide honey colored eyes, slipping the shoes off as she moved towards me. “You’ve never wanted sex before.”

“Tonight, I do,” I stated simply before I turned to step through the door to see a king-sized bed that looked a bit messy.

“I didn’t expect this. I’m sorry,” Brianna apologized to me as I gave her a long look.

“Turn around,” I told her as she pressed her plum toned lips together and complied. I untied the dress and slipped it down her hot little body, not surprised at all to find her bare underneath. She liked a little play while she gave me blowjobs or hand jobs and I slipped my hands over her sides before tugging one of her nipples as she moaned. “You’re ready for cock, aren’t you?” I moved my other hand to massage her wet cunt, finding her clit and circling it firmly. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

“Yes, Perry. God, yes.” Brianna dropped her head against me as I brought her to a release, gasping as she reached back to unbutton my pants. She dropped them, and I pushed her down onto the bed as I asked if she had any condoms. She played innocent with me, but she gave massages for a living that were well known for happy endings. “In the nightstand.”

I stripped and reached for a pile of them, dropping all but one as I ripped it open. I sheathed myself completely before I slapped her pale ass, hearing Brianna cry out as the skin reddened. I saw the glistening of her pussy and the juices that dripped down her thighs as I licked my lips and pushed her forward. I parted her ass cheeks, dragging the tip over her tight hole slowly before I thrust my cock inside of her wet pussy. She was loose, making me think further that she liked this more than she cared to admit. I didn’t care. I needed to come inside of a woman before this trip, and Brianna wouldn’t be the only one.

I gripped her hips, fucking her hard and deep as she moaned and whimpered with every movement of my hips. I dropped forward, finding her breast as I squeezed and pulled on her nipples with one hand as she rocked with me, closing my eyes as I pretended that it was Caroline under me.

I played back the sight of her in her bed and her scent as I felt myself edging closer to an orgasm. I imagined her in her bed with her legs spread and her hand inside of herself as I cried out and shot into the latex as Brianna screamed with another orgasm. I rested for a moment before pulling out, flipping her onto her back.

I removed the condom and tied it off before dropping it to the floor to collect later. I told Brianna to spread her legs and watched as she did with a dazed look in her eyes. I leaned down, taking a nipple between my teeth before I slid my hard cock between her tits, fucking them with my hands pressing them firmly together before I shot on her chin and throat as she jerked her head up.

I left soon after that, with Brianna sleeping soundly in her bed. I dressed and left a wad of cash on the same table as the condoms. I tucked the condom in a tissue, then into my pocket before I made my way home. I found Caroline on the couch, passed out in front of what looked like an erotic vampire movie or show. She was dressed in tight sleep shorts and a tank top, and I took in the dark spot in the light gray material between her legs. I lifted her hand slowly to smell her fingers, hardening when I realized they smelled like her. I had caught this scent a few times before my tongue darted out to taste her, making my mouth water. I sucked a finger into my mouth as I looked down to see her arch her back, putting her now hard nipples on display.

I removed her from my mouth, knowing that I was too damn close to ripping off her shorts and going to town on her sweet pussy. I placed her hand on her stomach, watching as the stain grew on her shorts. I covered her with a blanket and made sure all the doors were locked before I headed upstairs to my room, ready to jerk off all over again.

Fuck.

 

CHAPTER 7

Caroline

Before I knew it, we were in a van headed for the airport early one morning. I was packed and ready on paper, but nervous inside. He’d been acting strange since dinner, being gone a lot and working. Perry claimed that he needed everything to be settled at the office but would that include nights as well? I knew it had before, but he seemed to want to be home more in the evenings once I lived here.

I thought back to the morning following the dinner. I was covered up on the couch but highly turned on as I remembered someone sucking on my finger in a dream, a finger on the hand that I used on myself. Was it just a dream? There was no possible way that Perry would have done that while I was sleeping, though I liked the idea of it. So much so that I masturbated right then and there to start my day.

I wore jean shorts and sandals to the airport with a faded coral t-shirt. The central part of the flight was a few hours, and then the one to the actual resort would be about another twenty minutes. Perry sipped coffee on the way and looked out of the window as I took him in for a moment. He was quiet, but it was early. Everyone was mellow during an early flight, weren’t they? I hadn’t been on a lot since I was a kid. Since the crash, I was terrified of them but that was a big issue that my therapist talked me through right away. I just hadn't tested that until now. I was more nervous about Perry than anything else.

We checked our luggage in, and I held onto the backpack that contained my Kindle and laptop, just in case. We boarded into first class and got ourselves settled into the luxurious seats before I looked out of the window.

I read a book on my device, and he browsed through the paper while we were in the air. I enjoyed the breakfast that was much nicer than I expected and smiled at him as he sipped another cup of coffee. “Thank you again for this. I am so excited to get there.”

Perry gave me a tired smile as he nodded, making me catch the dark mark on his neck. Was that a hickey? “I am too. You’re welcome.”

Jealousy flooded me as I pushed the food away, wondering who he was sleeping with. Maybe I should just find a guy on the island and get it over with instead of relying on my own hand. Perry seemed to be busy, although I didn’t think he wanted me like I did him. Perhaps I was overreacting, and I leaned back and focused on the fact that we were going to a gorgeous island for a fun-filled vacation. I knew Perry well, and we’d have a great time, no matter what,

We had to.

I seemed to read the same words over and over on my screen as I would look out of the window, smiling when I saw the beautiful blue water. I looked over to nudge Perry and show him, but he was asleep. His head was leaned to the left, and I moved closer to take a look in the distinct bite mark on his skin. I wanted him so much, and he was sleeping with… God knows how many women. Perry had the right to do whatever he wanted, as did I. I turned back to look out of the window again, caught up in my own thoughts as we drew closer to the island.

I gave up on reading and stared at the clear blue water for a long time as we flew to the airport where we’d be landing, which was when Perry came to. He looked around, blinking as the wheels hit the ground. “We’re here?”

“We still have the second flight to take,” I replied as I tucked my hair behind my ears.

“Oh, okay.” He said as he moved to sit up and glance around. We left the plane and waited in a small room for the other one with just a few people. I looked around and tapped my feet against the floor as I smiled. “I am so anxious to get there!”

“I’m glad, Caroline. You deserve this,” he told me, giving me a long look for a moment.

“So do you. You have worked too hard for too long. You have the money, so use it to travel and have some fun,” I urged Perry as he smiled at me. “Do this more often.”

“Maybe I will. I’ll have to see if I will explode from being away from the office for so long,” he joked as I shook my head.

“I am going to make a point of always traveling, even if it is a drive for the day. I don’t want to get caught up in work and life so much that I forget to stop every now and then. If I have kids, I want them to know the same thing.” I looked at him. “Why didn’t you have kids?”

“I never got married, I guess,” he replied as I licked my lips.

“You don’t need marriage to have kids, Perry. You’re a good-looking man and clearly, you get a lot of action.” I watched his face go white as he looked at me. “Someone got a little aggressive with you recently.” I heard the bitterness in my own voice and hated myself for it.

“What do you mean?” He asked as I pointed to his neck with a cold gaze. Perry rubbed the spot, wincing slightly as he shot me what appeared to be a remorseful gaze. “You want kids?”

“I want to base it on what happens in the future. I’m young, so there’s no rush,” I shrugged and he stared at me intently.

“What if there’s an accident?” Perry asked as my face turned beet red. “A girl like you must be cautious, though, with the plans you have for your future.”

“Yeah,” I agreed vaguely as discomfort settled over me. “Something like that.” I had never discussed this with Perry before, and I didn’t like it on so many levels. He was the man that I wanted, but I couldn’t say that. I didn’t want him to know that I was still a virgin and holding out for him like a fool. I knew that had to stop, willing myself to open my mind to someone else.

I missed my mom at times like this. She was so open with me, and we’d discussed so much before she died, leaving me lost as far as talking with someone else. I let a silence fall between us until we boarded the small plane to head over to the resort, staring outside for the entire time.

The water was blue and clear, making me able to see the bottom everywhere I looked. There were three islands and from what I understood, our accommodations were on the biggest one since I could see buildings poking out in the trees that covered nearly everything. It was beautiful, and I lost myself in it before I felt someone move behind me, jumping as Perry slipped his arm around me. “Look at that. The water is so clear and pretty. This is going to be a very good time.”

I clenched my thighs together as I kept looking out of the window, feeling my nipples join the party as well. I’d recently started playing with them when I got myself off, pulling and pinching just to test how it felt. Right now, I wanted Perry to slide his hand under my shirt, over my skin until he pulled me free from the camisole that I was wearing. I sucked in my breath at the fantasy, arching my back as my eyes widened. I coughed to break the awkward silence that was happening, covering my mouth as I leaned forward and away from him. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I think I am choking on nothing again.” I had faked another few ones before I reached for the bottle of water, taking a few sips. The plane made a sudden turn, and I sat up to watch the landing. A few shuttles were waiting for us, and I could see a large building several feet away, assuming that was the lobby. I knew from research that it was beautiful and offered a few restaurants, a couple of bars, a full-service spa, and a coffee shop. The beaches were plentiful and beautiful, and I’d get my desired peace here.

I would also have to deal with my insane attraction to Perry that was going to be the end of me, but it looked like I could hide away in a lot of places here.

We checked in, and I looked outside as the exotic woman at the desk flirted with Perry, following him quietly when we walked down a pathway that was surrounded by lush plants and flowers. It ended all the way at the beach, where Perry unlocked the door of a cottage and smiled at me as he pushed it open. “Go check out your home for the next few weeks, Caroline.”

I rolled my bag inside and looked around as I left it next to the dining room table, along with my backpack. The living room was spacious and offered a modern kitchen with room for the table and bar that was against the wall. I looked out of the sliding glass door to see blue water and soft sand and squealed as I hurried into the bedroom that was off the living room. It was vast and luxurious with every amenity needed in the en suite bathroom, as well as the good view but I knew there was another bedroom upstairs. I charged out of the room and turned to go out into the living room, making a sharp left to run up the stairs and push open the cracked door.

This room was higher up and mostly windows on the wall facing the ocean. “Mine!” I called out as I bounced over and looked out, seeing the waves crashing onto the beach. There was a massive balcony where I could have coffee or even choose to sleep on the spacious lounge that I could see through the sliding glass doors. I clapped as I turned around to see that the rest of the room looked similar to the bedroom downstairs, glancing into the bathroom that I knew I’d be spending some time in.

“It’s gorgeous, Perry! I love it,” I called out as I looked at the second floor, which consisted of my room and a loft that offered a variety of uses, depending on the family staying here. I ran down the stairs, overcome with emotion as I went to the back patio. Perry had thrown open the doors, letting in the ocean breeze as I threw myself into his arms. “Thank you so much. Thank you!” I felt his arms around me, realizing that I hadn’t embraced Perry in quite some time. He pulled me against him and brushed his fingers against my back, over my shirt as I felt the ache of desire throbbing inside of me.

“You’re welcome.” Perry’s voice was rough as he pulled me even closer to him.

I took in his scent, so masculine and natural. He smelled like his soap and the outside air from home, and I wondered if he’d start to smell like the sand and the water here. The guys at school covered their skin with cologne, and it smelled artificial whether it was expensive or the discount kind. It smelled like they were trying too hard to impress everybody, whereas Perry just had to offer himself to get my attention. I knew him inside and out if I looked over the last several years, having shared my happiest and worst moments with him. We cried together when my parents died, but we also laughed a lot of the time. “You feel good in my arms,” Perry told me, making my skin heat up as my nipples reached out for him. My pussy was aching and wet, and I moved closer to him, feeling him hard against my stomach.

“Perry,” I breathed as I slid my hands into his hair and took the chance to pull away and gaze into his eyes. They were full of painful emotions and darkened in color as he stared at me. “What is this? What’s happening?”

“Something that I’ve been fighting for the past few weeks,” he admitted as he searched my face with an intense gaze. “I didn’t realize and then it hit me one day. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since, in ways that I shouldn’t be. Caroline, I’m your guardian. I’m a grown man that shouldn’t want to touch you as much as I do.”

Joy surged through me, and I pushed myself up on my toes to kiss him, feeling the sparks as we both gasped. Perry seemed to protest before he raised one hand to hold my head, deepening the kiss as he gripped my ass in his large hand.

Our tongues danced together, feeling like no other kiss before. Perry was aggressive and knew what he wanted, skillful enough to just take it from me. I returned every ounce of his passion, tugging on his hair as I pulled him closer.

 

CHAPTER 8

Perry

Her sweet little mouth was hot and eager as she met my tongue with her own. Caroline was a little firecracker, and I squeezed her ass harder as she wrapped her legs around me.

Holy fuck.

I turned and pushed her into the wall, slipping my hand further to find the hard edge of the denim as I started to stroke her. I knew that this was wrong, but I was all in, and there was no stopping either of us. I pressed into her, stroking her as I pushed my cock against her open thighs while our lips met in long, rough kisses. She was hot where I was touching her, and I tried to find the hem to move it over and find her bare pussy, but she wore shorts that met my approval today, making me groan as I pulled away.

Caroline had her eyes closed, drawing me close to her as my cock pressed my fingers against her. She rocked against me, so clearly needing to come that I moved harder against her. “Do you fuck yourself thinking of this?” I asked as she dropped her head back and let out a keening sound.

“All. The. Time.” Her voice rose in another moan as I went at her harder, wanting to rip off every stitch of clothing and bury myself inside of her pussy. “Oh, God. Don’t stop.” I watched her as she grew closer to what looked like an explosive release, frowning as I took in the expression on her face. There was something fresh and new in the way her mouth opened wide, and she jerked against me with a cry. “Perry…fuck. I…” She dropped her head hard against the wall as she let go and I moved to carry her into the bedroom to the right of us.

I dropped Caroline to the mattress, making fast work of removing her shorts and panties. I observed her bare pussy with heated eyes for a moment before crawling between her legs to stroke her needy little clit with my tongue. She was sweet the night I sucked her juices from her finger, but this was like warm honey running into my mouth as I ate away at her orgasm. “Oh, Perry. So, sensitive,” Caroline told me as I sucked her into my mouth and slipped a finger inside of her. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop until I come again.”

No problem.

I worked her pussy and clit with my tongue as my finger was inside of her, switching as she came again. I teased her clit with my thumb and covered her with my mouth as she poured into me, her juices sweet and warm. I never would have dreamed that she’d squirt when she came, and I prodded her clit to keep it coming.

I slid my tongue inside of her, feeling her wrap around me as she gripped my hair tightly. The last sound I had heard before I pulled away was her scream, gasping for breath as I dropped onto her stomach.

I wanted to strip her bare but the way she looked against the wall when she was coming stuck in my mind. I couldn’t ignore my maturity and sexual knowledge, and I raised my chin to look into her sweaty face.

She was so fucking beautiful.

“Caroline?” Her eyes opened as she looked at me in a daze. “Was that your first orgasm?” She told me that she masturbated and I’d tasted her before, so none of this made sense to me right now.

“With anybody else, yes,” she told me as I felt it hit me, forcing my body over hers as I stared hungrily into her eyes. “I’ve made myself come multiple times for you.”

“That night when I went into your room? You did before that, didn’t you?” I knew I recognized the look in her eyes that day and she smiled and nodded.

“Every chance that I could get,” Caroline replied as I slipped a hand down between her thighs to stroke her again, making her moan softly.

“How long have you thought about this?” I asked as I moved around to find out what she liked. I knew that her clit was needy, but I wanted to know everything about her sexuality.

“Since I got older, I guess. I think the hormones set in and you were it for me,” Caroline told me as I hardened painfully.

“You have never let another man touch you?” I demanded as she laughed bitterly and shook her head. “You’re a virgin.”

“I have kissed other men. I tried to tell myself to take it further, but it never felt right. It was you, Perry. It was you, and now you’re here touching me this way.” I moved against her folds faster as she stared at me. “All I wanted was this.”

“I am your fucking guardian, Car. They didn’t leave you in my care so this could happen…this is wrong,” I told her as I continued to stroke her, watching her eyes darken as animalistic desire filled me. Her legs were spread, and she rocked against me, looking like she might come again as I sucked in my breath.

“I am an adult, and so are you. We can decide on this, Perry. Doesn’t it feel good?” She asked as she gripped the comforter and bit her lip.

“The best,” I agreed as she let go, her lips parted with my name coming out of her throat.

We had rested for a while before she dressed so we could take a closer look around the cottage. It was modern and would be perfect for nights when we wanted to cook, inside or out. The back deck had a top-of-the-line grill as well as room to relax and eat. The living room was ideal for watching a movie after a busy day and now, for other things.

We left the subject alone as Caroline led me down the beach to the water, a beaming smile on her face as she stepped into the sand. “I love this.” She spun around happily, reminding me of when she was little and taking ballet classes. Caroline must have seen my face because she frowned and rushed over to me. “Are you all right?”

Guilt washed over me as I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her, soft and slow. This wasn’t the time or the place. Hell, maybe it was since we were living a different life right now. All I knew is that I couldn’t keep my hands off her, smiling she tilted her head and slipped her tongue against mine with her hands around my neck.

We went to dinner at the restaurant early, since we were hungry after the tiring day. It was more of a but time stopped here, and nothing mattered. Caroline wore a beautiful purple dress that flowed around her thighs and gave me just a hint of the cleavage that I hadn’t seen yet, though the idea made my mouth water. I just had on shorts and a button up shirt, and I watched her walk ahead of me a bit as something rushed through my veins. We were seated at a table in the corner with a great view of the beach that seemed to go on and on, and Caroline took it all in as I asked for two glasses of water.

We got sandwiches with salads and talked about what we should do during our stay, though we hadn’t seen all that much yet to make any decisions. I just knew that the cottage was gorgeous and that I had a forbidden and beautiful woman staying in it with me.

We walked the beach when we were finished, and Caroline laughed as the clear water swirled around her ankles. Everything made me feel like I was a million miles away from home and reality as I watched her walk through it with a peaceful smile on her face. I knew that my phone was going to be full of pictures by the time we returned to Colorado as I raised it and snapped one.

“What are you doing?” She asked as she turned to gaze at me, forcing me to take another with the expansive ocean behind her.

“You look great out here,” I told her as her laughter filled the air again. “They would love to see this.” Her parents were never far from my mind, particularly since all that happened earlier in the day.

“They do. I have felt them since they were in the accident,” Caroline told me as she stopped and let me walk closer to her. “I don’t think they’d hate us for this.”

“You’re their daughter, and I’m the older best friend. I am like a father to you,” I protested as she gazed into my eyes. “It’s like the plot of a bad book or movie, like that one that Drew Barrymore was in a few years back.”

“She was a bitch in that movie. She had intentions of all of that,” Caroline told me as she smiled. “I am with you because I want you, not your money or any of that stuff. I appreciate that you’re so generous with me with everything that you have, but I am not doing any of this because of that. I also think that this might not have happened under different circumstances.” I stared at her in horror as she looked thoughtful for a moment. “I don’t mean that I am glad they died. I think about them all the time and miss them so much, but I learned from talking with my therapist that life happens. You can’t change that. Things happen, and it alters the future for all of us, and this might be that happening. This might have been meant to be somehow.”

“There is a twenty-year difference between us,” I reminded her as she gazed over the water for a moment.

“There is. I think that you are one of the best people to spend time with though and I have never thought too much about the age difference. I am drawn to older people a lot of the time.” Her eyes were intent on something, and I looked out to see some dolphins swimming several feet out.

“Your father always said that you were an old soul,” I reminded her as she laughed and nodded. “Look, I don’t want to make you regret taking this any further with me. It might not be what you want in hindsight, Caroline.”

“I have dreamed of you being the first man to make love to me…the only man. I could never regret that,” she said as she stepped closer to me. “I trust you, Perry.”

I would never hurt Caroline. As much as I wanted to fuck her, I’d take it slow and make it the best experience I could for her. “Are you on any birth control?” I kissed her softly as she nodded against my lips. I was careful with every woman that I slept with and wore condoms religiously. I didn’t want to with her. We walked along the sand all afternoon until the sun went down, where we watched it standing in the water.

The colors were beautiful, filling the sky with vibrant shades of pink and orange and a hint of purple on the edge of the horizon. I felt Caroline snuggle against me and wrapped my arm around her, feeling the emotions inside of her as she trembled. “You okay?”

“It’s breathtaking,” she murmured as I nodded. Her mother was a damn good artist, and I think that the view reminded us both of her. I took her hand as the sun fell below the ocean and night started to settle around us. I led her back to the cottage and unlocked the door, eying the open windows in the back shrewdly. We turned on enough lights to make it around safely and opened the door to listen to the water as she dropped onto the couch, pulling me with her.

 

 

CHAPTER 9

Caroline

I pressed against Perry, finding his mouth with mine as he slipped his hand into my hair. I could sense that there was no possibility of taking this slow from the first kiss, and I was ready to give him everything that I had.

He pressed me back against the plush yellow cushions, lifting my dress as I helped him remove it, blushing as I felt his eyes on me. I had a matching bra and panty set on, which was no different than any of the bathing suits I’d worn for him.

Yet it was.

Perry hovered over me after he took me in slowly with his eyes, dark and intense. He kissed me hungrily, and I gave in to the heat as our mouths moved together, and his hands traced fire over my skin. It wasn’t long before he was unhooking my bra and kissing down my neck as he bared me to his eyes in the light from the dim lamp. “I don’t like you naked in here where anyone could see you.”

“Pull the curtains closed,” I whispered before I got an idea and smiled. “We could go upstairs.”

“Done,” he agreed as he pulled back and stood, reaching out his hand as he looked through the glass door. Perry offered me his hand and told me to head up, and he’d lock up down here, so I crept over to the stairs and made my way up the stairs as I felt the adrenaline rush through me. I was going to get my dream!! I slipped into the bedroom, taking on the ocean air and the sound of the waves that came through the open windows as I slipped off my underwear.

I walked to the bed, turning on a lamp on the table beside it since this room was a lot higher than the rest of the cottage and we had nobody behind us. The windows were generous but limited anyone else seeing inside if we were in bed, making me like the design.

I looked towards the door, seeing Perry standing there in only his loosened shorts. “I want to see you touch yourself,” he told me as he came and sat down in front of me, his gaze locked on mine.

“Oh,” I murmured, feeling a little embarrassed since it was such an intimate experience for me. I leaned back against the pillows and looked up at Perry as he took in every inch of my body. “I feel scared.”

“Don’t baby. It’s just me, and I’ll reign it in if you need me to. There’s just so many thoughts that I’ve had about you for the past couple of months…I don’t want to pressure you.” I could see a bit of disappointment on his face as I nibbled on my lip and shook my head.

I spread my legs open as he dropped his eyes to stare at me. I knew that he could see all of me and I told myself not to be scared since this is what I wanted. I pressed my lips together and moved my hand down the familiar path of my stomach, feeling my pussy wet and ready for him. I let out a breath as I began to stroke myself slowly, locking my eyes on his face as he ran a hand through his hair. I played with my clit for a long time, his eyes watching every move as he brushed his hand against his groin. I thought back to all the times that I wished he was watching me, feeling the slickness of my thighs as I slipped a finger inside of myself.

“Fuck, Caroline. This is all I’ve thought about since that day in your room,” Perry groaned as he slipped a hand under the material of his shorts.

“I want to see you. Take them off,” I whimpered as I felt the familiar build up inside of my body. Perry stood and let the material fall to the floor, thick and hard in his hand as I stared in wide-eyed wonder at his cock. I slipped another finger inside, thumbing my clit as he knelt before me on the bed and slowly stroked himself. “I want you inside of me.”

“Come for me. Come on your hand and feed it to me,” Perry told me in a hoarse voice as I moved deeper inside of my body. His eyes on me made me jerk and his hand moving up and down over himself sent me over the edge. I cried out, pushing back against the pillows as he dropped his hand and leaned forward to kiss my thighs as I kept coming. He took my hand when I was still, sucking the essence off my fingers as I opened my eyes to look curiously at him.

“Did you do this at home when I was sleeping?” I whispered as he met my gaze with a carnal one of his own. “You’ve tasted me before.”

“Yes, and I have never gotten that out of my memory,” Perry said as he took my hand and wrapped it around his cock. I had attempted that a time or two with other guys and I gripped him just a bit tighter as he moved closer. “Fucking beautiful.” He looked down to watch my movement as he thickened in my hand and licked his lips. “I want to feel you, Caroline. You’re on the pill?”

“Yes. Bad periods,” I said, so desperate to feel him that I lied. I had never taken anything for birth control before since there was no need and I reasoned that there was no way that anything would happen with him just this time.

“I’ll go slow,” he promised as he eased my hand away from him and moved between my legs, sucking a nipple into his mouth as he slipped a finger inside of me. It was thick, though not as much as his cock was and I rocked against him. “I could spend my life making you come. It’s the most gorgeous sight that I’ve ever seen.” I did come, moaning his name as he bit my nipple. Perry moved his hand out of me, placing himself at my entrance as desire burned in his gaze.

He rested on one arm as he guided himself inside, slipping just a little bit in as he looked at my face. Perry kissed me as he eased himself in, stretching me open as I cried out against him. It was too much but felt so good, and he slipped his tongue against mine as he kept going. There was a hint of pain, just a pinch as I stilled and Perry pulled away to tell me it would be okay in just a moment. Perry apologized to me as he remained still and kissed my face, giving me the control to move when I was ready.

The moment that the discomfort was gone, I rocked against him and took him deep. He was thick and I felt him everywhere, including every nerve ending in my body. “Perry, I…I need you,” I begged as he pulled back and drove himself into me again. It was everything that I’d ever wanted and yet it overwhelmed me as we moved together, the slapping of our skin and combined moans filling the room. “Harder. I want all of you.” Perry had paused before he started to move hard and fast, his eyes intent on me through every moment. “Yes! Oh, God. Don’t stop.” I felt him thicken as I covered him with my release, crying out his name. Perry jerked as heat filled me, making me feel as complete at this moment as I had in my entire life. I cried out with it, clawing at him with my short nails as I murmured dirty things to him.

Perry kissed me as we settled down, slipping out of me and resting his body gently over mine. “Are you okay?” His voice was concerned and soft, and I slipped my arms into his hair and kissed him tenderly.

“I’m perfect,” I promised him as our lips met softly. I was. All my long unreturned lust was wrapped in a ball of heat in my stomach as I felt the combination of us trickle between my thighs. Perry made his way to the bathroom, bringing out a washcloth and he knelt between my legs and looked closely. “What are you doing?” I asked as he smiled at me.

“Cleaning you up, Caroline.” He wiped gently between my legs, and I shivered at the warm water. “You bled a little bit, but not bad at all.”

“How many times have you done that?” Perry gave me a curious look, and I thought about how to ask the question properly. “I mean, how many virgins have you been with?”

“A few. Not so much in the last several years, but there were a few in school.” He looked at me. “It was an inconvenience back then. I just wanted to rush through it, but with you…it was an honor. I’ll never forget that I was your first.”

“Neither will I,” I assured him as I smiled gently. He glanced down at me and walked the cloth into the bathroom, coming back to sit beside me.

We talked as we snuggled together, discussing what it was between us. I knew that he still felt bad, but I believed that my mother was giving me a message with the sunset since it looked exactly like one she’d painted for me before she died. When I told Perry that, he sighed and pulled me closer.

I knew that I was in love with him.

He told me that he wanted to be with me through the remainder of the vacation, not seeing how he could resist me now. There was a connection between us that we both felt, one that carried through the weeks as we spent days exploring paradise and the nights in bed. After the first time, I had no reservations about sex and Perry showed me a bit of a dominant side. We tried every position that I was aware of as well as ones I’d never seen or heard of. Perry took pleasure in teaching me how to give a blowjob at my request, telling me how to move as he gripped my hair. I learned what it was to swallow for a man that I loved and knew that I would never feel the same about anyone else.

Every time, he was bare inside of me. I didn’t want it any other way with Perry.

There were long breakfasts in bed every morning, naked as we fed each other before we’d make love for the second time that day. There were dinners out, in the cottage as well as a special one on the beach where we ate fresh fish by candlelight. Perry took me all over the islands, where we snorkeled over the coral and the beautiful sea life. We went hiking through the trees to see the lush greenery and the animals as we lost ourselves in nature.

I didn’t know if I preferred the days or the nights with him. Perry was attentive to me every moment that we were together, displaying our relationship when we were out. He wasn’t like the guys at school were with my friends, though, sloppy, and immature. Perry was all man that made me aware that he was always thinking of me. Every kiss hit me deep inside, making my body want him in little time. Every time he touched me, I felt like I was on fire, becoming more addicted to the way he treated my body by night.

Perry introduced me to things like spanking and being restrained. I enjoyed both, feeling nothing but trust that allowed me to relax in his care. It turned me on that Perry liked a darker side of sex, and I wanted to please him in that way. I wanted him to stay mine when we went back to Colorado, but I knew that might not work out. Here, we were a couple on a romantic vacation that nobody knew anything about, but there he was my guardian no matter how old I was, at least in the eyes of some people. We would be judged harshly, and he would be called a pervert, while I would be the innocent girl that he took advantage of. I was ready to step up and admit that I wanted this more than Perry did, that I initiated it.

I just didn’t know where he stood with things.

Every night seemed to grow longer as we’d make love in the upper-level bedroom. It ranged from fast and rough to soft and sweet, but it was something that I could not get enough of. I craved Perry every single moment of the day and attacked him every night when we arrived back at the cottage, dragging him into my obsession with me. I loved to taste his skin, nipping at it as he groaned my name and tugged at my hair.

We even found a few private areas around the resort where we took part in outdoor sex. There were places in the trees where we’d crouch low to the ground as our bodies slapped together, me riding Perry while he met me thrust-for-thrust. I always struggled to keep from screaming his name as I came, clutching his strong shoulders as I felt the waves of pleasure ripping through me.

There were places on our beach where we could be alone and in the water as he fingered my clit to a release, his fingers buried inside of my bathing suit as I bit down on my lip to keep from crying out his name.

I gave him a blowjob at one of the bars one night, outside and around a corner where we could hear but not see some of the other guests. I was down on my knees, taking him into my mouth as I pulled against his ass. Perry was big, but I’d learned to relax and get him deep into my throat, and tonight he was fucking my mouth with earnest. I felt him thicken before he shot inside of my mouth, eager to swallow it all down as he panted and held my hair. He dragged me to my feet and back to the cottage, leaving our drinks at the bar so that he could fuck me hard and deep while I was on my knees in the living room. We’d christened every surface of the cottage and joked that they would have to clean up well after we were gone, something that made me a little sad.

Perry had a successful business back home, but I wanted to be here with him forever. I knew that I worked hard through school to go back and get a stable job that I’d dreamed of for so long, but a part of me would give up all of that to stay here with him. He could never work again or do it from afar and be just fine, along with the money from my parents. I’d never ask that of him, though.

I would just go home and have faith in whatever happened.

The last day was one where we explored all our favorite places, taking endless pictures of the turtles and fish that swam just under the surface of the deeper water. I made a point of taking photos of us, memorizing the natural happiness in his face as well as the way that his blue eyes shimmered. Perry was gorgeous and meant everything to me, and I wanted these memories for the rest of my life. I walked the soft sand of the beach, taking in the sound of the waves as I looked all around and fought the urge to cry. Perry took me to a special dinner that night in the restaurant, where I sipped wine and tried to hold my emotions in. I knew that he could see right through me, smiling as he told me that everything was going to be good.

He took me back to the cottage and right up to bed, worshiping my body with his mouth and hands. I cried as I came before he crawled over me and entered me with one deep thrust. It was carnal and raw, expressing all the mixed emotions between us. Perry drew my feet to his shoulders as he took me, staring down into my eyes. I came first with a guttural cry before he shot deep inside of my pussy, rocking slowly against me.

We dozed lightly, waking up to move together all over again several times during the night as well as first thing in the morning. Our flight was early, and I was quiet as we made our way to the plane. I slept on the longer flight, feeling a sense of dread as we came closer to Colorado. Something was going to happen, though I didn’t know what.

Even his hand holding mine in my sleepy state didn’t assure me as we moved closer to home.

I came back to find a few emails about possible jobs, all over a few states. My internship and high grades paid off, and I read all the messages with a mix of excitement and dread. The best overall offer was from a graphic design company in California, on the beach. They had an excellent starting wage, incredible benefits, and perks and it was in one of the most beautiful coastal towns on the west coast.

I accepted an interview, flying over to meet with the head CEO to talk in person. I packed as Perry watched from the doorway of my room, asking me questions about the position. We’d cooled down considerably after arriving back home, which had a lot to do with my withdrawal from him. I suppose it was to protect myself against the inevitable. I knew that I would accept a job at some point and perhaps even move, not surprised when the best offer was in another state.

Even Perry had to admit that this job sounded perfect, urging me to do well at the interview. Before I would have hugged him for that, but now he just got a smile.

I checked into my hotel in Santa Barbara, looking out over the water that was a darker blue than the one that I would always coin as mine and Perry’s. It was still gorgeous, though, and I licked my lips as I glanced at the white bag from the local drug store that was sitting on the table. Its contents would have everything to do with my decision about this job and my future.

It just might change everything for me.

 

CHAPTER 10

Perry

Once we were back, I thought that I’d enjoy being back at the office and normal life. I knew that Caroline was going to start considering jobs and the beginning of her life, though I preferred the one that happened at The Brando Resort. She was everything that I could have wanted, in and out of the bedroom. Caroline kept me interested and laughing when we were talking, always waiting for the next words from her mouth. It was always a natural and easy time with her, as it always had been without the electric attraction between us. I knew that others noticed it, both men and women, and it fueled my desire for her further. She was a beautiful woman, and though I didn’t tell her, I was falling for her. I wanted to ask her to stay with me, but she worked too hard to give up her dreams. It was what her parents would want as well. I had to honor that.

I watched her pull away from me once we were home, though I knew that she couldn’t deny the feelings and attraction between us.

They were heavy in the air as she talked about the interest she’d received once we got back. Caroline sounded excited when she told me about what each company offered, making my heart drop when she said that the one in Santa Barbara offered her the best package. That wasn’t far as far as distance, and it could be worse. I just knew that she wouldn’t be here with me, safe in my care. Caroline had someone always watching over her, whether it was her parents or me as her guardian. Now I was looking at her, talk about her future all on her own when it felt like my heart was breaking inside of my chest.

I hadn’t had that feeling since I lost my best friend and his wife.

I asked her about the job as she packed to go for the interview, trying to sound like a guardian would. In truth, I couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful she looked when she came for me. I couldn’t ever forget how it was to be inside of her that first time, the first man in her life. I felt honored that her dad was the first man to love her and that I was the one she gave that precious gift to. I would never forget how it felt to hold her in my arms as I slept, and now my big bed felt empty and cold.

Caroline was moving closer to her future, though. That was what mattered. She folded clothes for the two nights that she would be there, talking about the company and perks that came with the job offer. Caroline mentioned how much she loved the beach and I wanted to scream at her how much I knew that. I was the one making love to her every night and morning with the sound of the waves coming through the open windows. I wanted to remind her how it felt as I fingered her in the water, feeling her tremble against me as a climax tore through her. I remembered all of that as she kept talking, and I clenched my fists.

Could she actually walk away from us?

I drove her to the airport the following morning, hearing her nervous babble the entire way. Caroline wouldn’t look at me. When I dropped her at the curb, she gave me a loose hug and walked inside of the terminal with barely a backward glance.

I thought that everything improved at the island between us once we gave into our desire. I wasn’t sure how it might work when we arrived home due to the nature of our relationship, and I didn’t think that she was either.

I also didn’t expect her to be looking through job offers so quickly, but why was I surprised? She was brilliant, and I was confident that her reputation preceded Caroline after the impressive work during her internships. She needed to see what she could get, something that seemed to be a weight on both of our shoulders.

I drove home from the airport alone, feeling a little lost. I wasn’t ready for Caroline to leave me, especially after the vacation. Everything about that was perfect, and what I wanted in my life, just with a woman I would have never considered before. She moved from a little girl that needed me to take care of her to a sexy, mature woman that got me going, even now sitting alone in this car.

Fuck. I drove out of the parking lot and home, going right to work in my home office as the silence settled in the house. The last eight years played through my mind, the good and the bad. I finally admitted that I loved Caroline inside of my head, deeply and in a way, that I’d never feel about anybody else.

I went to work early the following morning and stayed through the afternoon. Stella told me that I looked happy when I came back and told her that I had a great time. I wasn’t even as eager to be in the office, not like I thought I would be with the knowledge that Caroline was at home.

Today, she poked her head in when it was time to go home and raised an eyebrow at me. “What are you doing, boss?”

“Just finishing some stuff up,” I tried to sound casual despite the tapping of my feet under the desk. I was on edge and couldn’t get Caroline out of my head. I might not go home at all, knowing that the house was empty now.

“So, you went to a gorgeous place for the better part of a month just to come home to being a workaholic? Didn’t you learn anything?” She sounded mildly angry, and I glanced at her, seeing the concern in her eyes.

“It’s who I am, Stella.” I tapped on my keyboard to sound like I was working hard.

“You need a woman in your life, Perry,” she snapped before turning to leave as I dropped my hands on my desk.

I had a woman, and she was amazing. I made love to her every way that we could think of after I got to know her mind and soul. I was in love with her, and I sent her to find a life without me. I stared at my phone for a moment before picking it up. I dialed and leaned back in my chair, listening to the ringing until her voice mail picked up. “Hi, Caroline. I was just calling to see how things were going. Give me a call back,” I murmured before ending the call.

I went home at nine that night, drinking a bottle of whiskey in her room as I sat against the bed. It smelled like her sweet apple perfume, and I closed my eyes as I took another swig from the bottle.

I dragged myself into work the next morning with a hangover, drinking coffee to get through the day. When I got home at ten, I walked into the house and felt Caroline’s presence. I looked into the kitchen and then walked up to her room to see her staring into her closet. “Hi,” I said as she kept staring forward. “How did it go?”

“I got the job,” she replied as she pulled out an armload of shirts. “They got me a condo, and I am going to drive there tomorrow and get settled. They need to fill the position soon, and I don’t have anything to hold me here.”

“You don’t?” I asked as she moved to the bed and folded the shirts into a big suitcase with a fixed expression on her face. There was a part of me that hoped she’d come home and tell me that she wanted a future with me that formed in my head during those lonely nights at work.

“I went to college to get my dream job, Perry. You can finally be on your own and start your life. You deserve to have something more,” Caroline told me as I tilted my head. She sounded robotic, and I stepped into the room.

“More than what? More than what we had on the islands?” My voice rose in anger as she blinked at me. There was a pain in her eyes before she looked away.

“I don’t want you, Perry. I want this job and my house on the beach.” I stared at her in a stunned silence for a long moment before I turned to leave the room. I got back into my car and headed to a bar, my emotions reeling at her claim as I tossed back a few shots.

I couldn’t believe that she was moving away. I couldn’t believe that she chose the job over us, something that we hadn’t discussed since the morning that we left the resort. I ordered another shot, feeling my vision blur as the numbness set in.

I went home with a brunette that night, trying to fuck Caroline out of my system a few ways. I woke up the following morning with a stranger whose name I didn’t remember, stumbling out of the front door after I called for a cab. I had him take me back to the bar, hopping in my SUV to head home as my heart sank. Had I fucked up by leaving? Would Caroline be gone?

I pulled through the gate, into the driveway and pushed the garage door button as I stared forward. It was empty, and I blinked for a moment before pulling forward. Did she get any sleep at all before she left? Would she be all right? I came to a hard stop and hurried into the house, calling out her name. “Caroline? Are you here?” I ran up to her room to see the closet emptied as well as her bathroom before I walked into the hallway.

She was gone without saying goodbye. After all the years, we’d known each other, lived in the same house, I didn’t expect this. Maybe I did with what happened when we were on vacation, but when I looked back at all of it, Caroline seemed so happy. She appeared to be a woman in love every time that she looked at me, and I wondered if that scared her as much as it did me.

I convinced myself that she would call once she was settled, or that I would. I wasn’t going to let it go this easily since she was under my skin now. I’d find a way to work this out with Caroline and convince her that we were perfect together, but for now, she could have some space. I knew how empty the house was going to feel, but there was not going to be another woman here to keep my bed warm, at least not until I spoke to Caroline about what happened between us.

The first week, I worked a lot and let her have time to settle in. Everything felt empty when I returned home, and I didn’t even bother cooking too much anymore. I just grabbed food on the way home and worked it off in the gym before work in the morning. It became routine, but it didn’t make me happy. Nothing made me happy the way that she did, the women that used to tide me over not even getting my attention these days.

I started calling the week after I assumed she was moved in and on a schedule. I got her voice mail and left a message, sending her a text later when I hadn’t heard back. I did the same thing the following day with the same results and tossed and turned in bed as the worry set in. Caroline was a beautiful girl, and anything could happen, a fact that ate away at me as days went by without any response.

I checked the news in Santa Barbara once another two weeks had passed, reading about every crime that happened anywhere nearby. I knew that she spoke to a lot of firms, but I couldn’t remember the name of the one that she was working for. I was in too much shock that it happened so fast. I never thought that Caroline would be able to leave so easily, not after the bond we formed after her parents died. I was still in control of her money as far as I knew, so we had to talk sometime.

Within three months, I still hadn’t heard anything. I asked a friend who was a private investigator to find her for me, giving him the information needed. I just had to know that she was all right and stop keeping myself up at night worrying about all the possibilities. He came back with the name of her new company, Anagrama. I promptly researched them thoroughly, which I would have done anyway if she gave me half a chance, finding them to be one of the best in the world. I couldn’t fault her company, so I wondered what was going on as I read everything that he found out in the week that he’d taken.

She seemed to be doing well as far as Matt could tell. I didn’t ask for intimate details of her life since I didn’t think I could handle that yet. I found out that she lived in a condo near the beach that was in a complex owned by the firm, giving me the impression that she didn’t have a permanent home yet. I knew that she was alive and I let it rest with that for now, giving her this time to be stubborn before I went there myself.

I fucking missed her. I missed the mornings where we’d just talk, eat dinner together or just laugh. I didn’t know how much she meant to me until we got so close on the island and left shortly after coming home. I knew that I loved her as something of a daughter, but it never clicked that I’d fall for her on a romantic level. It was more than sex, and I thought back to the nights that we spent together, trying to remember if I told her that. I hated that idea that she might think I was using her.

Once four months went by without any word from her and I knew that the holidays were in just a couple more months, I bought a plane ticket online. Caroline was going to know how I felt, whether she wanted to or not.

 

CHAPTER 11

Caroline

I eased out of my car and walked towards the beautiful glass building as I took a slow breath. Everything was perfect about Santa Barbara, including my job and the condo that I was still living in thanks to the firm. Everything apart from the fact that Perry wasn’t here. I worked extra hours when I wasn’t exhausted, coming to the unit to shower and cry myself to sleep almost every night.

It was pathetic.

I entered through the doors and made my way to the elevators, smiling when I saw my coworker Lana. “Morning,” I told her as she blew into the cup of sweet chocolate and coffee with a need in her eyes.

“Hey there, mama. How are you doing?” She asked as she handed me a cup of decaffeinated green tea with a rueful smile.

“I’m tired. I miss coffee,” I responded as the doors opened and we walked inside. I looked down at my belly, starting to show now as Perry’s baby kept growing inside of me. Once I took the test when I was away on my interview to find it was positive, I knew that I was going to take the job if they offered it to me. I didn’t want to inconvenience Perry with a baby, particularly since I’d assured him that I was on the pill. I knew that was stupid even at the time, but I wanted him so bad. I wanted all of him, and a part of me wondered if there was an immature part of me that wished for a baby. What was I thinking? He asked me more than once if it was safe, so I knew that he probably didn’t want to start a family. He was at a high point in his life with the company and not having to worry about a thing.

I had a good job that was tremendously kind when they found out my condition when I started the job. They kept me on and offered the insurance sooner so I could see the doctor as needed. I was given as long as I needed in the condo until the baby was born and I had some idea of where I wanted to go. I was saving a lot of money that way with the lack of rent, money that could help me buy a place if I felt brave enough to go to Perry to get it.

I left in a rush, not really thinking about the strings that connected us. There was the trust fund that my parents set up for me when I was born that was still doing very well. They had put away money for college, and Perry handled all of that for me while he supported me during school, giving me anything I could need or want. Perry was generous before we slept together, and I told Lana goodbye as I headed to my office.

I thought about the nights that we spent together a lot, wishing that it had ended differently. I got scared the moment we came home, too spooked to try to make it work. I had the perfect excuse to avoid it with the emails about jobs, something that happened much faster than expected. When I started to feel a bit off before I was scheduled to fly out, all my ignorance hit me like a ton of bricks as I knew I had to face reality.

That was why I took the pregnancy test in California. I could just be alone and cry my eyes out, so lonely and scared that it was tearing me apart inside. I sobbed most of the night, showering in the morning, and cleaning up for my interview. I wasn’t feeling the confidence that I projected but nailed it, and I was stunned when they offered me the job on the spot. It made sense to take it. I could fly home as planned and just come running back without Perry knowing about the baby. I didn’t have the heart to tell him, imagining his face as he offered to take care of us because it was the right thing to do. That wasn’t what I wanted.

I took a seat at my drafting desk and hung my purse up before setting the coffee cup on the table beside me. I had done a good job since being hired, in part because I started the job pregnant and felt like I needed to prove myself more than some of the others. It was also the way that I was and always had been. My supervisors were happy with me and assured me that I would be here for a long time to come.

It was a generous offer, but I still missed Perry. I slept because being five months along wore me out. It was a restless sleep, but I seemed to me able to nod off every time I sat down at home. I worked hard to stay alert at work, and it made me smile when my coworkers told me not to work too much since I had someone else to take care of.

I was finding out what the baby was in three days and I was so nervous. Finding out that it was just a single baby was a big relief to me since twins as a single mother sounded so complicated. I’d made some friends, but they weren’t close enough that I’d ask for a lot of help just yet. I didn’t get to go out and drink with everyone with the baby, although that was an excuse more than anything. I was always too tired from pretending how happy I was here. I loved the ocean but didn’t think any beach would be the same alone again. It just reminded me of everything with Perry.

Every kiss played through my mind when I tried to sleep at night, and the way that he felt inside of me was something that I’d never forget. It was the best feeling I’d ever experienced, and I knew that even with my hormones going insane with the pregnancy, I wouldn’t sleep with another man for some time to come. I had a lot on my plate right now, and I was just trying to sort through the confusion of being a single mother.

I missed Mom so much right now. She wouldn’t be happy that Perry was the father, at least I didn’t think so. She would still be here for me, though, helping with everything that I needed. I smiled as the other people that shared the large, open office joined me and we slipped into the comfortable routine. I worked steadily through until my break when I had a quick snack with Lana while she got another coffee. We went out for lunch a couple times a week as well, as I discovered what the baby liked as well as what they didn’t like. That was uncomfortable.

I left for the night, walking across the courtyard towards the garage when I thought I heard my name. I looked around, through the groups of people that were leaving for the day as well and didn’t see the man that I swore said my name. I barely knew any here. “Caroline.” I froze as the voice spoke again, all too familiar with it as I turned slowly to my right. Perry was there, walking towards me as I rested my hand on my stomach and whimpered to myself. He looked angry, and I pressed my lips together as he strode over with a scowl on his face. “I had to come here to find you. What the…” His voice drifted off as he glanced down to see my hand resting over my clearly pregnant stomach, and I watched as the color drained from his face. “Is it mine?” Perry lifted his eyes to my face as he searched it rapidly, reaching out to cover my hand as I stood frozen. “Caroline. Is it my baby?”

“What do you think?” I shot back as tears slipped down my cheeks. I was far too hormonal to act like this was all right, and he reached his hand around my back to pull me against him.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why were you hiding it?” His voice was filled with pain as I started to cry harder, breathing in his scent. “You’ve been alone all this time. Have you been taking care of yourself? Have you been eating well?”

“That’s all I’ve done besides work,” I told him as he led me to the side of the large fountain and held my face as he stared at me. He looked angry, sad and relieved all at once before he kissed me.

“I was so fucking worried about you when you never called. Is this why?” Perry asked me as I nodded. “Why would you do that?”

“I didn’t think that you would want us,” I admitted as he shook his head before pressing his lips to mine firmly as he seemed to take everything in.

“You’re crazy. I wanted to tell you when we were away that I was falling for you, but I thought I’d wait until we got home. Then you pushed me away, and all the jobs came up, and you were here, interviewing. Then, gone. You just left me, Caroline, when you mean everything to me.”

“You were falling for me?” I asked as I choked on my sobs, losing control of my emotions.

“I fell hard. I love you, Caroline.” I looked at him before I wrapped my arms around his waist and cried into his green t-shirt. “I want you and the baby. I don’t want to be apart. Should I start looking for something here?”

“What?” I asked as I stepped back to look at him. “Your company!”

“I’ll sell it. I’ll run it from here. Anything to be with you, Caroline.” He kissed me hungrily again before pulling away. “What is it? A boy or a girl?”

“I find out in a couple of days. Want to come with me?” I barely got the words out before he was kissing me again, his tongue slipping against mine as I tried to breathe.

“Yes. Are you kidding me? I am never leaving your side,” Perry told me as I pulled him down for another kiss. “Where is your condo?”

“How do you know I live in a condo?” I asked as he laughed. “You had someone look for me, didn’t you?”

“I was worried, heartbroken and bordering on crazy. I had to know something. Let’s get you and my baby some food and go there. I want to know everything about the pregnancy…every detail.” Perry said as my stomach growled, making us both laugh. “Come on. What are you craving?”

We got some Indian food, a new phase for me. Perry paid for the four bags and drove me back to the condo, unlocking the door to walk inside and look around carefully. I made my way to the fridge for some cold water for both of us before he brought the bags to the small bistro table. We did it like we used to, with just forks as we passed the containers back and forth.

I was crying again when I finished telling him everything. Perry looked devastated as he pushed the food away and ran a hand through his growing hair. “I am so sorry. I was scared, and everything happened so fast.” I took a deep breath. “I was never on the pill, Perry. I just wanted you.”

“We were meant to create this,” Perry told me as I raised an eyebrow at him. “We were meant for all of this, just like you said.” He cleaned up as I watched, then took me to the couch as he cleared his throat. “I brought something from the house for you.”

“What?” I asked as he drew close and kissed me softly.

“I planned this before I saw you,” he assured me as he reached into his pocket and drew something out. “I like that you’re wearing the necklace, Caroline. I have something to match it.” Perry looked into my eyes and held something close for a moment. “I realized that I loved you when we were on the island. All of you. I have never felt that way with a woman before in my life. It was magical.” He showed me a box that clearly held jewelry, flipping up the lid to reveal the diamond wedding set that graced my mother’s left hand every day of her life with me. My eyes widened as I looked into his eyes. “I want you to marry me, Caroline. I will do anything I need to be with you and our child. I just know that I never want to be without you ever again. To hell with what people think.”

I threw myself into Perry’s arms, crying as I told him that I would marry him. He slipped the ring on my hand and kissed me hard as I moaned, knowing that I could have him now. “You know the worst thing about being pregnant?” I had whispered before I kissed his neck. “The hormones. I have been getting myself off every night since I am kind of crazy about this particular man. Want to help me with that?”

“Fuck, yes,” he told me as he claimed my lips hungrily. We stripped on the couch, and he made me come with his finger against my clit before he carried me to the bedroom. “You’re taking tomorrow off,” Perry told me as he dropped me on the bed and lowered his mouth to mine.

“I can’t. They have been so nice to me,” I protested as Perry lowered his lips to my neck. “I’ll take the day off for the appointment the next day.”

“I am going to find us a house on the beach then. Something with room for us and the baby,” he murmured in between kisses as I laughed. “Do you want to stay here?”

“I don’t know. I am still wondering if this is a dream,” I whispered as I arched my back and offered him my breasts. He cupped them gently, telling me how beautiful I was with his baby growing inside of me. I knew that I was bigger and I cried out as his mouth covered my nipple, sucking gently. He slowly kissed down my body, his lips pressing gently against my swollen belly as he told our baby that he loved them.

He was between my legs after that, his mouth rough and hungry as he tasted me. I tugged on his hair as I rocked against him, screaming his name as I came all over his lips. Perry moved right up and over me, slipping his cock inside of me as we both groaned together. “I love you so much,” I told him as I stared into his eyes for a long moment. It felt like forever since I realized my feelings and a weight was lifted once I spoke them aloud.

“I love you. I can’t wait until we see our baby and find out what we’re having,” he told me as he kissed me again, driving himself into her hard and deep as I cried out his name.

We came together in a rush of heat, our bodies toppling together as he rested gently against my body.

We made love again before I fell asleep in his arms.

I took the next day to think about what I truly wanted. I knew that I wanted to be with Perry, and I imagined all our years in Colorado with a wistful smile. That was home. “Are you okay?” Lauren asked as I looked across our office at her.

“I think I’m going back to Colorado. Am I crazy?” I asked as she laughed, knowing everything about Perry and me. We’d celebrated with donuts from the corner bakery after I showed her the ring.

“Not at all.” Her smile was bright.

I told Perry the following day after we saw our daughter, both of us reduced to tears. He said that he never looked for a place to begin with before he kissed me. I went to talk to my boss that afternoon with him to tell him the bad news, not surprised when they supported me wholeheartedly. They even offered to give me a letter of recommendation, making me thank them tearfully. I hadn’t been there long enough to ask any of that, in my opinion.

We decided to marry at a local chapel since there was no family to invite. We’d both lost too many people and just wanted our new life to start, so we said our vows on a balcony overlooking the ocean as the man performed the ceremony while his wife and daughter watched with tears in their eyes.

He packed up my car the following day after we’d spent the night in the bed at the condo, promising me a wonderful life filled with babies as I came repeatedly. We took his rental car back to Avis, and he took the driver’s seat for our ride home.

Perry stopped a hotel halfway through the drive. He told me that I needed some proper sleep but undressed me once we were in the suite, making love to me in the big bed as if he hadn’t seen me in weeks. “Is every time going to be this good?” I asked as I rested in his arms afterward.

“It might be more of a quickie when the baby comes along, but you’ll always be the best thing that happened to me,” Perry assured me as he smiled at me. “Do you think that they’re looking down at us?”

We’d seen a gorgeous sunset right after we were pronounced husband and wife, so I knew it for a fact. That was her sign to us.

It seemed like time flew by once we were home and getting ready for the baby. Mila Delaney Adams was born at the end of February, named after her grandmothers. She had his eyes and my hair. Perry and I took her home to the house in the woods, holding her as the fire roared in the fireplace. Her nursery was in the room beside Perry’s that was never used before since it was his floor. Now it was her little place in this house.

We were married for two years when we gave Mila a brother named Brandon, happy to welcome another member into our family. I was staying home with the kids and helping Perry at the office as needed. We had two dogs by now from the local rescue as well as three cats running around the house. It was chaos, but it was ours, and we loved every moment of our lives.

I can’t say that everyone in our life accepted us as a couple. There was a handful that found it disgusting as well as disrespectful to my parents, but we just had to leave them behind. We had our own life to carve out with our new family. We had each other.

We had love.

Turn ahead to read “Train Me Daddy” which starts from next page!