Chapter 18
Anna
“I want to apologize again for our bad start. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the situation, and since I’ve been here, I’ve been defensive toward you. If you’ll give me a few moments, I can explain why.”
I handed one of the flyers to a passerby, pausing to glance at Dr. Patron. “All right. Explain.”
A deep sigh left him as he taped the paper to a large informational board located in the middle of the sidewalk. Ads and services littered the space, but he didn’t seem to care as he secured it over a lawncare sheet.
“As you know, I work with many dangerous people. Boston, he’s like a son to me. Sure, he has flaws, but I’ve done so well helping him overcome them. His life was finally coming together with Lucy. I was proud.” He paused, frowning. “I know your history. You and Boston are more alike than you know. I fear he may relapse, and not just on the obsession. He’s a killer, Anna, like you. He enjoys torture. Loves it, actually. The two of you together…it could be disastrous. He’s not as smart as you. I’ve seen your work. I know your skill. But what sets the two of you apart is your minds. You have what it takes to get away with murder. To control your actions. Without my guidance, Boston does not. His obsession rules him, and someday, he may make a mistake. I’d hate for it to come to that.”
My hand shot out, passing more flyers. “Amazing. You completely condone murder from our kind.”
The doctor frowned. “Our kind? You make you and everyone like you sound so heinous. Aside from the killing, do you value yourself so little? Did you think Boston was a horrible person before you knew the truth?”
“No, of course not.”
“No, because what you and Boston harbor does not make you the people you are. Those episodes are beyond your control. Just because you have a need to commit these acts doesn’t mean you’re completely wasted as a human being. It doesn’t devalue your personality as a whole. Look at the detective. He loves you. That’s evident in the way he acts. And Lucy, she adores Boston. Why should I turn my back on people just because they have a fatal flaw they can’t help? I’m sorry, I can’t do that. What I can do is help protect them. And I want to help you, Anna. Not in the ways to make you stop. Not even any way that would change who you are right now. All I want is to help you cover your tracks so you never have to worry about losing or hurting the people you love.”
“Why?” My voice was almost inaudible. My heart was pounding as I let his words sink in. Wasn’t holding the secret inside the hardest part of murder? There were times I wished I’d had someone to speak to. To confess to, just to ease the need to do it again. But I almost couldn’t deny I felt he was using that knowledge to sway me. It left me even more defensive, although I didn’t show it. I had wanted to learn more about Dr. Patron, and this could be my chance.
“I’ve been doing this a long time. I’ve met and seen all sorts of people. I will admit, my reasons for working with the FBI were not always honorable toward the end. They became lessons. Insight, if you will. I’m telling you this because I believe I can help you. Boston aside, I was drawn to you long before this. Even to your mother. I wanted to help her then, but I couldn’t. I regret that. Both of your paths could have been completely different. There’s nothing I can do about that now, except step in when I should have long ago. I do not judge, and I do not steer my patients in a direction they aren’t willing to go. You lead, and I follow. I’m here for you, no matter the situation. You have to know that. Work with me, Anna. Tell me what you want, and I’ll do everything in my power to make it possible. I’ll give you therapy if you need it, schedules for anyone you want gone, medical and mental insight only I can offer, an alibi if needed. Whatever the case.”
I scanned over the doctor’s face, stopping at the dark shades he was wearing.
“Take off the glasses. I want to see you.”
There was hesitation. Slowly, the doctor’s arm came up. What I was met with was a pair of narrowed eyes—bruised eyes.
“What happened?”
He shrugged. “I don’t work like this with all my patients like I’m offering with you. First and foremost, I’m a psychiatrist. Some patients aren’t so compliant. I’m afraid the one I’ve been seeing up here is a loose cannon. He doesn’t always like my advice.”
“So why give it? Why keep working with him?”
“I won’t be for much longer. I’m afraid he’s beyond my help, and I don’t say that easily. I hate giving up. I believe everyone can be helped, but they have to want it. Anna…” he stepped in, keeping his eyes on me, “let me help. I see your reluctance, but I can be very beneficial if you’ll let me.”
“I don’t know.”
“I promise you can trust me. Me, over anyone. I’m not a boyfriend, a spouse, or a parent. I’m a friend who has a hell of a track record and wants to help you live as normal of a life as possible with the cards you’ve been dealt. No one, especially those closest to you, will ever know what you don’t want them to.”
Dreams of me and Braden came. A normal life together. My killer’s dream of getting away with my evil deeds without worry. Someone to confess to… I quickly pushed temptation away, using it to feign interest. “How does it work? I don’t have a lot of money.”
A smile tugged at his lips. “For you, not a thing. Your case is special. What I saw between you and the detective is special. That means more to me than money. And I can prove my loyalty. Give me a name. The one that causes the biggest reaction to your…other you. Let me show you what I’m capable of. Let me gain your trust before you decide against this.”
He placed his glasses back on, and I barely saw as I thrust a flyer in the direction of another passerby. Boston and Braden were almost directly even with us on the other side of the street. The moment I looked over, Braden seemed to know, and he looked over to me.
I licked my lips, bringing my attention back to the doctor. “You’ll give me information on this person? Is that what you’re saying? For my other me?”
“I’ll give you more than you could imagine. Think about it, Anna: your wildest dreams coming true with absolutely zero consequences. You can have your detective and a normal life without fear he or anyone else finds out.”
“That’s almost impossible for me to believe. There’s always risk.”
“Not with me. Why do you think they pay me the big bucks? Like I said, if it comes down to it, I’ll pick up and dispose of this person myself. I’ll alibi you. I’ll keep you safe. As many times as you need.”
“You’re serious.” It wasn’t a question. I could barely believe what I was being told. My mind reeled, and I fought a need I could barely contain. As many times as I wanted...? Tingling raced over my skin, and wetness had me rubbing my thighs together. Flashes of girls, of my darkest, bloodiest fantasies came to life, nearly making me moan. I was back in No One’s basement. Back to straddling those girls he’d brought in for me. The red lipstick covered my lips, and I was rubbing my pussy along the top of their slit, anticipating the massacre that would soon come. And there was no risk if I fell in with Dr. Patron. No chance of Braden ever finding out. What sweet temptation he dangled in front of me.
“All you have to do is give me a name—one name. I’ll show you what trust is meant to feel like. You’ll have that with me, Anna. Trust.”
“I…” I jerked at the collar of my shirt, trying to stop the way my body was reacting. All I could see was red. Red everywhere. It was beyond tempting, but also terrifying. I let the sensations and reactions become dominant. I let him believe what I wanted him to. Inside, I knew I couldn’t fall for this. “I…just don’t know.”
“Oh, but you do. Name, Anna. Let me hear it.”
Again, I went back to looking at Braden. He could have found me. He could have prevented the loss of our son if only…no. I would not blame him a moment longer. It was me. It had always been my fault.
“Davis. Davis Knight.”
“The reporter from the news?”
I nodded stiffly, hating that I was giving him the real name of the man I wanted dead. “No One’s almost brother. He knew. He knew the entire time, and he did nothing.”
Dr. Patron’s hand flattened on my back as he leaned in to whisper in my ear. “I know all about what he did. He’s yours. How soon do you want to do this?”
“Uh…”
“It’s okay. I know you’re nervous. This isn’t something you feel comfortable talking about, but I promise you won’t regret it.”
Seconds went by. Life continued for the people passing. But not for me. The grief from my son lingered through every part of me, crushing into my usually numb heart. Instead, I focused on the doctor and what I could learn about him.
“I already sort of made plans. He goes on vacation soon.”
“Perfect.” Dr. Patron stepped back. “If you made plans, I can perfect them to the point of no risk. I’ll be in touch with you soon. And that’s all we’ll say about it until then. Shall we?” He gestured ahead, and I followed in a fog as he swept inside local shops. I continued passing out the papers, wondering if my suspicion had just caused me to make the biggest mistake of my life.
****
“We did good. I think the flyers will help spread the news if people aren’t watching television. If someone knows anything, hopefully they’ll call the number.” Braden took a drink of water and looked over to me as we all picked at our lunch. Only Dr. Patron seemed to have an appetite, and I knew all too well why. “So, what now?” Braden continued.
I glanced at Boston, but took the lead.
“Now, we go back to working on the map.”
“Map?” Dr. Patron looked up from his sandwich.
“We’re going over neighborhoods, trying to narrow down where Lucy may be. It’ll be a long few hours, but I think with Boston helping me, we can finish by tonight.”
“Before I go to work?”
My eyes flickered to Braden. I knew he wanted more alone time, but I was still apprehensive. The nod from Dr. Patron had me changing position in my seat. Regret. It was already starting to sink in.
“I’m not sure. I still need to add a lot of detail.”
“We could find her by then. You forget you’re not the only one working the case.”
“And this is not the only case I plan to work.”
Braden paused in lifting his fork. “So, this is going to be a thing with you now? Anna, the news reporter, solving crimes in her spare time?”
“Why not?”
Braden pulled out his wallet, placing a twenty-dollar bill on the table. “Maybe because it’s not your job, it’s mine. If…” he trailed off, glancing to Boston and Dr. Patron, but coming back to me. “I’m tired and I have to be at work in a few hours. We’ll talk about this later. I’m going home. I hope you come home soon too.”
He stood, and I remained quiet as he gave me a look, but ultimately turned away and began leaving. Silence lasted for only a few moments before Dr. Patron’s low voice cut through.
“You don’t like him?”
Boston’s eyes met mine, but he remained quiet.
“Talk to me. I’ve seen the looks you’ve been giving the detective. Anna has to hear what’s on your mind. We have no secrets in this circle, Boston.”
“Anna deserves better.”
“Excuse me?”
Anger tinged my words, but I kept it under control as Boston leaned in toward me.
“I thought he was different at first, but I don’t like the way he talks to you. You need love, not lectures. Besides, you keep pushing him away, and he won’t go.”
“You should know a little about that. That’s the love part you’re missing,” I snapped. “Braden loves me. That’s why he keeps pushing. And he also knows me, hence the lectures. Stay away from him.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“Calm, you two. No one is threatening anyone. Boston,” Dr. Patron said, turning, “we know you mean well, looking out for Anna, but you must remember she’s more than capable of deciding what’s best. If that’s Detective Casey, that’s her choice. You have Lucy.”
“I know I have Lucy.”
“Anna,” the doctor said, ignoring Boston, “you have to understand what the two of you are experiencing right now is completely normal given the circumstances. You have nothing to fear from Boston. His behavior, although appearing aggressive, is anything but. He likes you, and therefore feels protective over you. He knows better than to ruin that by doing something rash.”
“Does he? Do you?” I asked, mirroring him as I rested over the white table cloth nearly a foot from his own leaning form.
“I won’t hurt your precious detective. Unless he hurts you.”
“Braden would never. And like I said before, stay away from him. If anything happens…if I find out you were anywhere near him…”
“Okay. Enough.” Dr. Patron snapped his fingers for the check, but my stare never left Boston’s. I didn’t think he’d truly go after Braden, but I still didn’t know him. He killed. He and the doctor admitted as much. So why wasn’t I afraid that he’d back up his threat? No, I knew. That would hurt me, and instinct told me Boston wouldn’t do that.
“Why don’t the two of you go work on this map and make up. I’ll take care of lunch. I have a few things I have to look into, anyway.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Yes. I’ve got the bill. Go ahead.”
The intensity on Boston’s face faded into a frown. He stood, coming over to me. When his hand came out to help, I threw him a look. It didn’t make him pull back. He gently took my hand and lifted his bicep, waiting patiently until I held on before he led me in the direction of his new car.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Forgive me.”
“For speaking what’s on your mind? The truth goes a lot further with me than lies. Even if it is something I don’t want to hear.” I glanced up, but returned my focus ahead. “Do you really dislike Braden so much?”
“I don’t know him. I just know I want the best for you, and I don’t feel like it’s him… Don’t take that the wrong way. Everyone keeps thinking I have my sights on you. They’re wrong. You’re beautiful, you’re smart…it’s just, that’s not what this is about. That’s not how I work. My heart is with Lucy. But you, you’re like a—”
“Sister?”
Boston stopped us just outside the passenger door, searching my depths. “Yes and no. I don’t think I can really explain the emotions. It’s stronger than a sister. More…heavier, and consuming. Not like Lucy. Different. Jesus. It feels wrong, but right at the same time. I don’t know what it is and that’s what keeps setting me off.”
The door swung open at his pull, and I climbed in. It was wrong to be so intrigued by the workings of Boston’s mind, but I couldn’t help but be. Even with the monster he held inside, there was a demented honesty and pureness about him I helplessly gravitated toward. Instinct told me he wouldn’t hurt, lie, or even try to protect me from something he didn’t think I could handle. That made all the difference.
Boston walked around, got in, and started the car. He stared ahead at Dr. Patron while I stayed studying his reactions. Whatever thoughts he had, they drifted along the darker side. His full lips thinned into a line, and his brow repeatedly creased.
“What is it?”
He gripped to the steering wheel, letting out a conflicted sigh.
“Dr. Patron got you, didn’t he?”
“Got me?”
“Became your doctor? Convinced you he could help?”
My mouth opened. Instead of answering, I asked questions of my own. “I saw the two of you arguing when he showed up. What was that about?”
Boston threw the car into drive and looked toward traffic before pulling onto the road. “He asked how I was doing. He wondered if I was in need of an outlet, but that’s the last thing on my mind right now. All I want is Lucy. I want to find her and go home. I mean, I have the urge, sure, but it’s not overwhelming. Not like he thinks it is.”
“He wants you to kill someone? Here, with so much on the line?”
“Isn’t that what he wants of you?”
My stomach dropped through the truth. “He said he could help me. That I could live a normal life with no worries about my secret.”
Air left him in a silent laugh of disgust. “Sounds like the perfect pep talk. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve known Dr. Patron for a long time. I trust him. Or did. Ever since I’ve come out of my coma, I find myself questioning every move he makes. I argue with him every chance I get. Maybe it’s just the new me. My mother did say I was like a completely different person given the traumatic brain injury I suffered.”
“But you trust him?”
Moments passed before Boston nodded. “Yeah. If anything, he can keep a secret. And he’s a good teacher.”
“What do you think it is that’s bothering you then? That’s making you lash out at him?”
He looked over before taking a left. “Probably the same thing that’s triggering you. Do you know what it is?”
My head dropped as I stared at my hands. Thoughts came. Conversations. The doctor’s voice…
“Do you remember what I said to him in the car? He mentioned something about us being able to sense killers. I called him a coward. Boston, do you think I’m wrong? Do you think Dr. Patron could do more than dispose of a body? Do you think he’d go as far as taking someone’s life?”
Another laugh. This one of disbelief.
“No way. He may get off to our confessions, but murder? I can’t see him going that far. The guy is a mastermind. He’s not a killer.”