Chapter 11
Detective Casey
Rarely did someone’s opinion sway my views. I learned long ago not to judge a person until I got to know them. Friends, lovers, Anna, they had their own minds and beliefs, and so did I. I was on guard because of Anna’s call, but I planned to do what I always did and give the person the benefit of the doubt. That was gone now. I couldn’t dismiss Anna’s impression of Dr. Patron. As I looked across my desk at the older man and woman eagerly answering all my questions, I could feel something wasn’t right.
Perfectly manicured fingers tapped lightly against one of his large biceps while he sat with his arms crossed over his wide chest. The suit was expensive. Probably cost more than I made in a month. But it wasn’t his looks or material possessions that had me studying him. It was his tone. His eagerness. Neither matched the expression he had plastered on his face. Which was nothing. He was a blank slate, yet he poured emotion through his words.
“I want to thank you, Mrs. Marks, for coming to see me. You said you arrived only a few hours ago?”
“Yes. Right before lunch. Dr. Patron, my son, and his friend, Anna, I believe, came and picked me up from the airport. They filled me in as best as they could. I can’t believe this has happened.” She dotted at her eyes with a tissue as I continued to write. “After the drive, we dropped Anna and Boston off and went to a restaurant in town. They had things to do, and I thought it was the perfect time to help my son the only way I knew how. I feel so helpless.”
“And how’s that? What did you do?”
“Oh. He was in need of the basics, I’m afraid. Socks, clothes, food, and coffee for his room. That sort of thing.”
“Right. And then?”
Joy hesitated. “I went back and had an early dinner with Boston and Anna. And…here I am.”
“What about before that? You live in Massachusetts?”
“Yes. I’ve been at home. I’m afraid I don’t go out much.”
“And what about Lucy? How long have you known her?”
“Oh.” Joy blinked rapidly. “Since she was a child. Five or so. We live in a small town. Everyone knows everyone. Boston…he’s loved her his entire life. They basically grew up together. Her older brother was his best friend.”
“Interesting.”
My eyes glanced toward the doctor. “And you, Dr. Patron? When did you arrive?”
“Yesterday morning. I—”
“Do you have the time?” I interrupted, glancing up from writing.
“Early. A little after seven, I guess.”
“So…before Lucy Adams was taken?”
His brows drew in. “I guess so. I wasn’t here in Rockford. I flew into Chicago and immediately met with a client. We had a very long day. He wasn’t well and was having quite a hard time opening up. I didn’t even know Lucy was missing until Boston’s call woke me up at around four this morning. Had I known, I would have postponed my client’s appointment and come straight to Rockford.”
“You wouldn’t happen to want to give me the name of your client, would you?”
The doctor’s head cocked to the side. “I’m a private practitioner, Detective Casey. Most of my clients are very well off and pay me generously for their privacy. I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to give out that information freely. You know how this works.”
“Of course.” I tapped my pen against the desk. “Can you give me a time for when you were finished with your client?”
He nodded. “Just before seven at night. I had dinner after that, then went to sleep. It was a very exhausting day.”
“And where are you staying?”
“I own a penthouse on the north side of Chicago. Sixty-sixth, East Goethe Street.”
I scribbled the address, nodding.
“I want to add that I do have friends in the area that sometimes offer their rentals or private residences. It helps with the commute since there are times I have longer drives than others. I’m on call while I’m here, so at some point, I may take them up on their offer.”
“Thanks for informing me of that,” I said, jotting it down. “Do either of you know anyone who might possibly want to take Lucy? Anyone she may have had any disagreements with, or owe money to?”
“Oh, no,” Joy Marks breathed out. “Lucy is an angel. She’s so sweet. And money, that’s not an issue for her or my son.”
“I agree with Joy. I’ve met Lucy plenty of times. The girl is well-mannered. Always happy and smiling. She knows she can come to any of us if she needs something or has an issue she needs help working out.”
“Okay. What of Mr. Marks? Will he be coming to Rockford?”
Joy’s mouth opened, only to close. “I’m afraid my husband is out of the country. He’s trying to find a way to make it, but I’m not sure he’ll be able to manage.”
I paused in glancing down. “That’s unfortunate. How does your son feel about that?”
“Boston knows his father has to work. My husband, he…he’s a very important man…circumstances make it impossible. He would love to be here, and he’s upset he can’t be.”
“Of course. Will you be staying long, Mrs. Marks?”
Again, hesitation. “I wish I could, but Boston, he’s very…I think he’s better without me hovering like the worried mother I am. I just seem to upset him more. Dr. Patron, though, he’ll continue to keep an eye on Boston. At least for a little while.”
The doctor shifted, agreeing.
“Nice of you.” I put down the pen, sitting straighter. “Is there anything else either of you would like to add? Maybe something you may feel is important?”
They looked at each other, shaking their heads as they came back to me.
“Well, then, thank you both for coming in. If I need anything else, I’ll be sure to contact you.” I took out a card, handing it over. “And if you have any questions, you can contact me any time.”
“Thank you, Detective Casey.”
Joy Marks stood, as did the doctor. I grabbed my phone, watching them walk out of the main doors before I hit Anna’s number. She answered on the third ring.
“Braden.”
A yawn cut her off, and I frowned as I headed to make another cup of coffee.
“Sounds like you need some sleep. How’s it going? You still with Boston Marks?”
“We’re making a map. I think we’re almost done. At least for now.”
“A map? A map of what?”
“You’ll have to see. I can’t go into detail right now. I’m too tired. Did you…” she got quiet, dropping her voice, “did you meet with Dr. Patron?”
“I did. Guy seems like an ass, but I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. How’s Boston?”
“He’s asleep in the chair, and I’d like to keep it that way. He’s so worried. I wish…I hope we find her soon. He’s taking this hard. He loves her very much.”
My stared dropped to my coffee, and then to the floor. “I know how he feels. You will go through me if you discover something, right? I mean, you’re both coming up with possible ideas, or locations, according to the sound of a map, but you’re not going to do anything on your own, are you?”
“I know the law, Braden. It’s not like we’re going to be breaking into someone’s house.”
“Anna, please don’t. I know you when you get going. Sometimes you don’t think things through. You have to call me if you come across anything remotely related to this case. I don’t even like what you’re doing, but what can I do? You don’t listen to me. Short of locking you up, it’s pointless. You won’t let me help you.”
“That’s because I don’t need it. Not in the ways you mean. Right now, all I need to do is help Boston find Lucy.”
“Not Boston. Me. You help me find her, and I will make sure she gets back to Boston.”
“You know what I meant. I’m tired. I need to sleep for a few hours.”
“There?”
“Would you be upset if I did?”
Upset? She had no idea how upset I was. Jealousy wouldn’t allow me to sound calm. Anger kept forcing its way into my words, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. “I prefer you didn’t.” I took a deep breath, spooning in sugar. “I can pick you up and give you a ride home if you can’t drive. I know you’re trying to support Boston, but we still don’t know who he is. Computers and interviews only tell me so much. Basically, it’s all smoke and mirrors.”
“Boston shouldn’t worry you, this new killer should. He doesn’t know yet. About the girl… The television has been off, and we’ve been working almost nonstop. I think I’ll stay. He needs to hear it from me.”
“Anna, dammit. I really wish you’d separate yourself from this man. Let his mother and the doctor take care of him. Let them be there for support.”
“Neither of them will put him at ease. Nothing will, except what we’re doing. It gives him purpose. You, more than anyone, should understand that. I have to stay.”
I headed back toward my desk, sipping the coffee as I let the truth of her words sink in. I did know, and it tore me apart having to face it. What was worse, she was right. I may not have liked her around Boston, but as far as I could tell, this wasn’t his fault. “You’re going to need clothes. Let me pick you up. I can take you to get some, and when we return, I can talk to Boston. He should hear about the girl from me, and you’ll be there to cushion the news.”
“I do need clothes.”
“You do.”
She paused. “I’ll grab my purse and meet you out front.”
A flood of relief rushed in. Why, I wasn’t quite sure. Maybe it was just that I got to see her. Maybe it was because she was away from Boston, or because I still felt in charge with my investigation by breaking the news to him myself. Either way, I was already grabbing my keys and heading for the door. Diego looked up from his desk, confused.
“Where are you going?”
“Into town for a bit. You need anything while I’m out?”
His eyes lit up, and I knew the smile he cast. It had me mirroring it.
“Surprise me. Something sweet.”
“I’ll get your usual. Call if you need me.”
He smiled, returning to his paperwork. I took off to my cruiser at a jog, feeling the all-too familiar thrum of my pulse escalate. Just being around Anna gave me a sense of home. A home long gone. One I mourned, just as I mourned the loss of my son. Just like I grieved the loss of the only love I had ever felt. Seeing her was heaven and hell, but a bearable hell. At least I got to see her face, even if I couldn’t run my fingers over her cheeks and kiss her lips like I used to.
The engine turned over and I reversed, heading in the direction of Boston’s hotel. It wasn’t but a few minutes away, and true to her word, Anna was waiting at the entrance. The makeup she’d had on this morning on the television was long gone, and her hair was in waves over her shoulders.
She opened the door, climbing in as I came to a stop.
“Slow night?”
I laughed, pulling through the circular drive and back onto the road as she stared out the passenger side window. “Not really. I have a stack of paperwork on my desk I’m trying to avoid. Let me see you.”
My finger fitted under her chin, bringing her eyes to mine.
“Yep. You need sleep. Dark circles were never your thing. So, tell me about this map.”
“The map.” She groaned, smiling as she did so. “I’ve labeled the neighborhoods. Where the highest crime rate is. Where the latest incidents have occurred. I marked the homes of registered sex offenders, and ones I’ve heard of, but aren’t in the system. Even pedophiles. Also, where I believe she may be, and the areas I don’t think she’d be taken.”
“Wait.” My eyebrows drew in as I processed the map. “Let’s start with the sex offenders and pedophiles. You said ones you’ve heard of but aren’t in the system. Where are you getting your information?”
“Well…it’s a long story. And one of the reasons for the long day. I’ve been back and forth from the paper to the station going over all the stories from the last few months. Ones that made it in, but were never followed through with charges. It also goes with the crime rate outlined on the map. We’re talking sexual assault, domestic violence, peeping toms, and unusual burglaries. Did you know the police have been called four times in the last six weeks for personal belongings going missing, including panties? Panties, Braden.”
“So, we have a panty thief on the loose. That doesn’t mean killer, Anna.”
“No, but that could be a person building to rape. Maybe instead of risking getting caught for the offense, they decided it might be easier to take the girl and try to dispose of her entirely.”
My head shook. “It’s a good theory, but a possible rapist didn’t do what happened to the girl we found. Something tells me he’s done this before. Maybe even often. Hell, he might not even be from here. We have no idea whether the three girls who are missing are even related. I’ve told you that.”
“No. But they could be.”
I turned on our road, slowing as I pulled into her driveway. She opened her door, and I followed, scanning the surroundings as we headed to the front door. We were barely in the entrance before Anna’s feet planted. It was so fast, I barreled into her, grabbing her waist as we surged forward.
“Jesus. What—”
“Shhh.”
I righted her, reaching for my gun as I eased around. Nothing seemed out of sorts, confusing me even more.
“What is it?”
She pointed to the porchlight, placing her finger to her lips. I waited, watching as seconds went by. Just as I was about to speak, the doorknob turned the smallest amount, but didn’t open. We looked at each other, and my gun shot up as it flew open. Lucille, her adoptive mother, jolted to a stop as her hand flew to her chest. I quickly lowered my gun, twisting my mouth at the anger the woman sparked in me.
“You two aren’t together again, are you? Did you not learn the first time, Anna?”
“Mother.” Her tone was sharp as she surged past, walking inside. “What are you doing here?”
“Me? I was worried about you. Should I ask where you’ve been, or do I not want to know?”
Lucille’s disapproving glare had me raising an eyebrow as I entered.
“I’ve been working. How did you get in?”
“How does anyone get in? I opened the front door. You know, after everything that’s happened, you would think you’d learn to be more careful.”
Anna’s stare shot to mine, and I gripped my gun tighter, heading straight for her room. More talking continued, but I didn’t pay attention as I trained my weapon on the closet and flipped on the light. My barrel pushed into the clothes, and I headed to look under the bed when nothing was there. Again, the area was clear. As I turned for the adjoining bathroom, my throat nearly closed.
Memories blinded me, giving me flashes of the blood I’d come home to find when Anna was taken. No One had overpowered her in there, cutting her in the process before he managed to knock her unconscious. And had I not come back with her now…would someone have taken her again once her mother left?
I pushed the door open, flipping on the light almost instantly. The shower curtain was open, and I exhaled heavily as I lowered my gun and turned around. Anna was standing at the threshold of her bedroom, a worried look on her face.
“I could have forgotten to lock the door.”
“Do you think you did?”
Her head shook, but she shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’ve been preoccupied, but I’m almost certain I locked it. It’s ingrained now. It doesn’t seem like something I would forget.”
“Yeah.” I glanced behind her, noticing it was silent.
“Janneke’s mother is down the road. They were visiting the Johnsons, talking over next week’s prayer meeting. My mother thought she’d come down to check on me. She’s already headed back.”
“Pardon me if I say thank God.”
Anna didn’t respond. Instead, she came deeper into the room, walking over to the dresser.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Why? Because she’s my mother? Lucille has been awful to you.”
“I don’t care about me.” I holstered my gun, moving in closer to the closet as she rummaged through her top drawer. “It’s never been about me. It’s you she’s horrible to, and I’ve never been able to stand it. It takes everything I have to bite my tongue. And I do that for you.”
A sad smile reflected in her mirror as she took out undergarments and placed them on top of the dresser. My breath quickened the moment she approached and headed inside the closet. Although she went in, she stopped to turn to face me.
“You do that a lot. Even when I’ve done everything I can to push you away, you always look out for me.”
My gaze dropped. “You think I’ve betrayed you. Failed you because I didn’t save you. Nothing I say or do can change that. Short of you being able to see through my eyes, to feel what I have, you’ll never understand or forgive me. I know that.”
Moments passed. Torturous, agonizing moments.
“Sometimes I wish…” Anna’s face flashed with angry emotions as I glanced up. “There’s no point wishing for things you can’t have. I don’t know why I keep doing this. Praying, hoping. They will not erase what we went through. It won’t bring back our son. I wonder all the time what he would have looked like. You know, if he would have lived, he would have been six months yesterday? He’s all I think about. I wake up in the middle of the night, and my hand always comes to my stomach. My instincts to protect our child are still there. It haunts me. I see babies everywhere. I hear them. And mine is gone forever. Don’t you see? It’s not about you moving on, or giving up on me. It hurts, but it doesn’t compare to the bigger truth. And that’s me. Who I am. What I did. What I caused. The only one who failed or needs forgiveness is me. I didn’t protect Roman good enough. I wasn’t as strong as I am now. I want to go back and do it over. I want to save him, where I couldn’t before.”
Tears streamed down Anna’s face and a sob ripped from her throat. I couldn’t stop the ones that spilled down my own cheeks. I reached out, crushing her into my arms, even though she stiffened at my touch. Just hearing our son’s name shot a hole through my chest. She wasn’t the only one struggling through his loss. Every day, I felt it. Every day, I longed for a son I never got the chance to raise—to love.
“Don’t you dare say you failed or need forgiveness. Anna, you did everything you could just to survive. If you think for one second I blame you, baby, you’re wrong. You’re so wrong. And you shouldn’t blame yourself. What that man did to you… We may not be together, but that doesn’t mean I don’t thank God every day that I have you back. That I get to see you smile or walk into a room. Or on the television. I lost you once. I lost you twice when you turned away after your return. Goddammit, I can’t live through losing you again. If that means we stay just like this, then fine. Just don’t push away. I need you.”
Fingers dug into my suit jacket, tightening on my lapels as she cried harder. The sheer need she displayed had my face lowering before I could think through my actions. My lips crushed into hers, drinking in the heartbreaking cry that left her. Pressure snapped up to grip my wrists, trying to break my hands free as I moved in to hold both sides of her neck. The fight she was displaying registered, but it had the opposite effect. Harder, I moved in, pushing my fingers into her hair and jerking her head back as I massaged into lips that met mine with so much hunger, it drove me insane.
“We have to stop. We shouldn’t—” Anna cut herself off, plunging her tongue in to my meet mine. I was spinning her for the bed, using my weight to keep her still as I brought myself down on top of her. My hands moved to her stomach, jerking at the belt of her slacks. In one swift tug, I unfastened and pulled the leather free, moving right to the clasp and zipper. The fabric gave way and wetness met my fingertips as I pushed past the material.
Both of our moans filled the room, and there was no stopping either of us. Anna was whispering “no,” but was jerking at my tie and ripping through the buttons on my shirt as if she couldn’t get me undressed fast enough. And me…I was lost in the woman I loved. Completely gone from thoughts or consequences.
“Braden, wait. You don’t want this. You’re just—”
I rose, pulling her pants and panties down in one jerk and flipping her on her stomach. Stinging burned in my chest, but nothing made itself known more than the consuming ache to be inside her. I shrugged off my jacket and stripped off my clothes.
“Think, Braden.” Blonde hair cascaded over her blanket, and her head was down as she peered back at me with big eyes. Pinked tinted her cheeks and her lids were heavy as she blinked. Time went from slow to nonexistent. All I could do was shake my head.
“Don’t talk, Anna. Don’t think.”
“Is that what you’re doing? Pushing it all away? Living in the moment?”
“Shhh. Please don’t ruin this.”
My body molded to the back of hers while I pushed up the blouse over her head. She didn’t fight or try to stop me. When I unfastened the bra, my lips immediately took the place of where the strap had been.
“I should ruin this,” she whispered. “You might thank me in the long run if I did. But…I don’t want you to stop.”
My cock rested on her ass as my mouth moved higher to her neck. Anna rocked against me, whimpering and moaning words I couldn’t understand. The throbbing worsened, and I moved back, pushing the tip of my length against her tight entrance. I had taken her virginity. Once, I’d been the only man who had been inside her…before No One. Before he raped and degraded her in every way possible.
The thought had me wrapping around her chest and holding as I let her stretch around me. The heat I inched into scorched me to the core. It burned into every part of who I was.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you.”
“No.” Her head shook against the mattress. “Don’t say that.”
“Don’t say the truth?”
“No. Lie to me. Lie to us both. Maybe if we believe it—”
“The pain will go away? We’ll be able to move on?”
My hand hooked on her opposite shoulder while the other slid down to flatten over the top of her slit. Anna’s legs widened underneath me, urging me for more. Saying things I knew she never would.
“I’m never moving on,” I growled next to her ear. “Never. I will wait, and you will see.”
“See what? See this illusion of love you have blow up in your face as you keep secretly picking into my past?”
Anna thrashed in my hold. The anger was becoming something routine. She had so much, I wasn’t sure how to handle it. My grip tightened, but my voice stayed calm. Soothing even, as I rested my cheek against hers and buried my cock inside her. A gasp sounded, laced with a moan as I kept still.
“Is that what’s going to happen? You think I’ll stop loving you because I’ll discover something?”
“Let go of me.”
Again, her shoulders tried to shake me off. My eyes closed, and I knew. I knew what I didn’t want to face. What I didn’t want to believe.
“I’m going to lie to you now, Anna. I’m going say I didn’t hear a single thing leave your mouth other than you miss me too. You do. You love me, and you’re afraid of what that means. Afraid of what I’m going to uncover and expose.” I slammed my cock into her with all the rage I tried to ignore. The same fury that led me to drinking my life away in the past.
Fingers clutched into the comforter as I pounded into her again.
“But is there anything left to know? The fear you hold that’s pushing me away tells me more than you’ll ever have the strength to say to my face. You killed that girl, Anna.” Harder, I pounded, transitioning to someone I didn’t know anymore. To…him. To the man I’d spent my entire life trying to outrun. “You did, didn’t you?”
“Braden. No more. Stop. Talking.” Anna’s legs grew even wider while I continued to use my hold on her shoulder to push deep. My pressure was steady on her slit, and I knew despite our words, despite the hate we had for everything keeping us apart, we both couldn’t outrun the love and passion between us. It was cornered by our evil. Being taken over by the sins we were both trying to entomb.
“I will not stop. Tell me the truth, and then I will stop. You’ll never hear a word about it from me again. My investigation will go cold because I will leave it behind once and for all.”
“Lies.”
“Goddammit.” I let her go, lifting to thrust with everything I had. Anna screamed, shaking through the spasms from her orgasm. Her channel clutched around me tightly and I moaned, feeling the sweat cover my skin. Visions—images—truths came, just like I did. My cum shot deep inside her, and I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to forget them forever. But they’d never go away. Just like the ink marking almost every inch of the skin I covered with my long sleeves and high collars.
I pulled out, rolling and collapsing on my back as I stared up at the ceiling. For minutes, neither of us moved. Neither of us said a single word. Time stretched out, as did the scenes from a day I couldn’t take back.
“This shouldn’t have happened. I knew I should have kept my distance.” Anna sat, staring ahead. Blonde waves cascaded down her back, but it didn’t cover the thick scars marring her back and sides. Yes…I had seen the damage done to her. The pictures No One had sent me of her dangling from the cuffs returned. The tears in her flesh had been so deep. And her finger…that had been done at the same time. What she must have gone through…it sickened me.
I reached forward, tracing one of the scars to just under the loose curl. She jumped at the initial contact, but stayed staring ahead.
“This wasn’t a mistake. You can try to convince yourself it was all you want, but to me, it was a realization.”
“A realization?”
My hand dropped, and I stood from the bed, grabbing my clothes. Anna’s eyes narrowed as she watched me get dressed. I adjusted my holster, sliding on my jacket. I had never been good with confessions. I never really had a reason. Most of my life had been an open book. All but one chapter.
“You and I aren’t as different as you think. You once asked me about my tattoos. You listened to my story, and then you asked me what happened to my attacker.”
“Donald Karmasky. You said he served thirteen years and was free.”
My teeth clenched as I nodded. “I lied.”
Anna’s expression didn’t change. She didn’t hold any at all as she slowly rose from the bed and grabbed her housecoat. When she turned, there was something I hadn’t seen in her eyes in months. A crazed wildness stared back at me. It was a glimpse of the mad woman she’d been when the officers tore No One’s heart from her savage fingers. It was her killer, and it jumpstarted my pulse far faster than the truth about to spill past my lips. But not because I was afraid of her. I wanted her…again. With her just like this.