They knew. Everyone knew. He was certain of it.

Vince looked around the living room where anyone in his family who wanted had come over to congregate for the evening, as was usual nowadays. Nonna was cooking a couple of vats of lasagna and someone had put a war movie on in the background. Everyone seemed to be talking around and over Vince. He swayed between feeling invisible and like he had a spotlight on him.

Vince had lain awake the night before going over his experience with Koby until he’d driven himself kind of nuts. But eventually, he had come to the conclusion that he definitely didn’t regret it, and he was okay with what that said about him.

He was a little queer.

He was uncertain just how queer. He also wasn’t sure if it was enough that he could call himself pansexual like Koby did. But he was attracted to Koby and had really, really enjoyed having sex with him.

So that part was all fine. But there were a few other things that really weren’t fine.

Namely, now it was as if he was aching for Koby. Like the way Vince’s body ached when he hadn’t exercised enough recently. It was a physical pain, deep in his chest and his bones. He’d had a taste, and he wanted more.

Koby said Vince could have more, but Vince was certain Koby had just meant sex. Which, honestly, he was probably wasn’t going to turn it down. When Vince hadn’t been able to sleep the previous night, he’d fallen down a porn rabbit hole and had all kinds of ideas now of things he wanted to try.

But he also wanted to continue being Koby’s friend and he wasn’t sure if the sex had messed that all up now. In an ideal world, sex should have brought them closer together. But now Vince was worrying it was going to drive a wedge between them.

Then there was the fact that Vince’s time in Hidden Creek was limited. He had a life back in Oklahoma, a job waiting for him with the Harriers. He couldn’t let his team down. Whenever he got the all clear from his doctors – which would hopefully be in the early new year – he’d be going home.

And then…there was his family.

Vince had spent most of the day at the gym in order to avoid them. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he felt like he had a sign hanging around his neck saying ‘I HAD SEX WITH A MAN!’ that they all could see.

And he was terrified of what would happen if they read that sign.

Would his nonna cry? Would his dad be disgusted? Would his cousins freak and his siblings tease him mercilessly?

What if his teammates read that sign? Or Coach Hernandez? There wasn’t a single out football player in the NFL. Homophobia in the locker rooms could be almost unbearable at times. If Vince came out and admitted what was going on in his head, he could lose sponsorship for the team or even his contract.

By pursuing something with Koby, what would happen when he went back to Oklahoma?

If.

Vince frowned, shooing Doris’s word from his head. Of course he had to go back to his team. That was all he knew. What other job could he do? The Harriers may have only just made the playoffs, but they still needed all the help they could get. Vince couldn’t let them down by throwing all that away.

Sure, taking this time off had been nice. He liked to work, to have purpose and a goal. But he almost couldn’t remember a time in his life when he wasn’t training and he was astonished at how much he didn’t miss it. He missed the team.

But the sport itself?

If Vince was being really honest with himself, no, not so much. He didn’t need that thrill of being in front of a crowd to make him feel worthwhile. Not when he had someone like Koby calling him smart and beautiful…

That was a slippery slope. This thing with Koby was short-term, if it hadn’t already run its course. Vince couldn’t be making big decisions that would affect his whole life based around Koby Duvall.

It was simplest if he stayed on course. Which meant going back to play for the Harriers once he was cleared by his doctors and keeping this unconventional side of his sexuality quiet.

Vince sipped on his coffee and frowned. He’d have thought making that decision would at least give him some kind of relief. But he just felt sort of hollow.

“Vinny?” His nonna’s voice brought him from his reverie and he looked over to where she was standing by the door. “There is a young man here for you.” There was a mischievous twinkle in her eye as she glanced at Maria and Lucy. “Very handsome.”

Vince frowned as he stood from the couch. Was she talking about Drew? Since their talk in the art department corridor Drew was being far nicer, much to Vince’s relief. But Nonna knew Drew. She wouldn’t be interested in pimping him off to the girls. In fact, Vince suspected she’d run him off with a broom more often than not, the way he spoke to Vince’s female cousins.

It couldn’t be…no…

But it was.

When Vince walked out into the entrance hall by the front door, Koby was standing there with his hands in a (presumably vegan) leather jacket, wearing jeans and his usual Dr. Martens.

He was also standing under the mistletoe Vince’s mom had hung above the door. By the way Koby glanced at it and grinned, he knew full well he was, the little shit.

Still, despite all Vince’s worrying, his heart raced to see Koby again. “Hi.” He hoped he didn’t sound as much of a goofball as he felt.

“Howdy.” Koby grinned.

“You know where I live?” Vince said. “Not that it’s not great to see you-” he spluttered.

Koby chuckled. “A little birdie told me your house number.” Vince suspected that birdie might work at Grind coffeehouse. “You busy?”

There was a lot of noise coming from Vince’s family. He bet a few of them were eavesdropping, too. “Nope,” he said loudly. “You want to do something?”

Koby grinned. “That’s what I came to ask you. It’s Friday night. Thought we could hang.”

Vince grinned back, grabbing his sneakers and a lightweight jacket. “I’m going out, guys!” he called over his shoulder as he shoved his shoes on. There were butterflies of excitement in his stomach, which was something he would normally say only girls got. But his chest was genuinely fluttering with happiness because Koby had called around for him.

“I’ll save you some lasagna,” Nonna called back.

Vince was out the door before anyone could come and investigate where he was going or, more importantly, who he was going with.

“Let’s take my car,” Koby said as they stepped out into the cool evening air. It was definitely getting into winter now and temperatures were dropping. Koby swung some keys around his index finger, walking toward a kind of cute-looking silver Toyota Corolla. Vince raised an eyebrow at him. Koby chuckled and gave him a devilish smile. “You’ll fit.”

It was a bit of a squeeze, but Vince was indeed able to fold himself into the passenger seat. Koby had a wry smile playing on his lips as they buckled up and he started the ignition.

“What?” Vince asked.

“Nothing.” Koby glanced at him. “It’s just a bit surreal, isn’t it? If our eighteen-year-old selves could see us now.”

Vince nodded as they drove down the street. He couldn’t help but conclude his younger self would have thought this was pretty cool, but he was too embarrassed to admit that to Koby.

“So, where are we headed?” Vince asked.

Koby glanced at him with a smile that looked shyer than his previous expression. “I thought it might be fun to do something a bit Christmassy.” He drummed his hands on the steering wheel. “I mean…I thought it might be fun to do something outside of the sculpture. I…I liked yesterday.”

He chewed on his lip and frowned at the road. Was he nervous? Vince’s heart tripped up over itself.

“Yeah.” Vince looked down at his hands in his lap. “I liked it, too. I was hoping to still be friends.”

Koby shot him a sharp glance. “Why wouldn’t we be friends?”

Vince raised his eyebrows as Koby divided his attention between him and the road. “Sex can make things weird,” Vince said simply.

Koby nodded. “It can. I try not to let it.” He looked at Vince longer than was probably safe. “I don’t want things to be weird with us. I know it’s complicated, but I thought we could just spend some time together, get to know each other.”

Vince nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

It was like the air was charged between them in the small car. Vince could feel the heat coming from Koby’s body. He could smell his fresh, spicy aftershave and the tang of hot metal that always seemed to linger on his clothes. Vince couldn’t help but flashback to yesterday when he had Koby’s cock in his mouth.

Vince still couldn’t quite believe he’d done that.

Koby bit his lip and glanced at Vince. Vince wondered if Koby was visualizing something similar.

Koby pulled down toward one of Hidden Creek’s strip malls. “Uh – do you want to open the glove compartment?”

If one of his siblings or cousins had asked him that, Vince would have quipped something like ‘I don’t know, do I?’ But Koby seemed anxious, so Vince just clicked the handle to let the compartment drop down.

“It’s sort of an early Christmas present,” Koby said as Vince retrieved something kind of heavy wrapped in tissue paper.

Vince looked at him in mild horror. “I haven’t got you anything.”

Koby chuckled. “I had a feeling you’d say that. Don’t worry. You’ve got a couple of weeks before Christmas Day. Unless you’re planning on leaving before the new year?”

Vince felt like Koby was trying to keep the question casual, but Vince caught the slight elevation in pitch. It warmed his heart. Koby wanted him to stick around for a while.

“I’m not going anywhere just yet,” Vince promised. “I’ll make sure I get you something.”

“You don’t know. That might be terrible.” Koby swung into a parking spot by the strip mall. “If you hate it, you don’t have to get me anything back.”

Vince scoffed. “I’m sure I won’t-” he began. Then he stopped as he removed the last layer of tissue from the object.

He was holding one of Koby’s small metalworks pieces, although Vince didn’t think he’d seen this particular design at the market stall. He frowned as Koby killed the engine. Vince could feel him watching as Vince inspected the intricately made little sculpture.

It was a birdhouse, made out of slender strips of metal made to look like wood. Inside was the tiniest bird made from what had to be cogs and stuff out of a watch since they were so small. It was delicate and beautiful in his big hands and made something stir in Vince’s heart that he couldn’t quite identify.

“You made this for me?” He looked up from the sculpture to Koby’s anxious face.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “I…yesterday was really something. I didn’t want to get you flowers or chocolate. That didn’t seem right.” He gestured to the birdhouse. “I remembered how good you were at shop – at school, I mean. You made all these awesome things in woodwork like tool boxes and pencil cases and…well, I remembered the birdhouse.”

Vince was aware his mouth was hanging slightly open. That was the thing he couldn’t identify. He had forgotten all about the birdhouse. He was sure his nonna had it hanging up in her garden still, in her house around the corner from his folks’ place. He’d poured hours into that thing, yet, because it wasn’t football, he’d let the memory slip away.

Koby had remembered for him.

“I don’t know what this is between us,” Koby said, biting his lip and looking down into his lap. “But…I like you, Vince Russo. I think you’re pretty great. And I just wanted to make sure you know that.”

He glanced up with a small smile, then let himself out of the car.

Vince took a second to look at the birdhouse before wrapping it carefully back in its tissue paper and settling it gently in the glove compartment once again.

“I like you too, Koby Duvall,” he murmured to himself as he stepped out onto the sidewalk.