An hour later, I didn’t feel so good. Kimmy and I had walked over to the party instead of taking the bus since the night was so warm, and I was starting to regret my decision to attend. I hadn’t found anything good to wear, so I’d put on the new pink cardigan that Mom had given me right before we packed. With that, a white blouse underneath and jeans, I felt like I looked okay.
At least I’d felt like that until Kimmy stepped out of her bedroom wearing fishnet tights and a red leather miniskirt.
“It’s not real, if that’s why you’re staring,” Kimmy said. She looked down at herself. “I mean, I couldn’t afford a real leather skirt.”
“It’s fine,” I said, turning away so she wouldn’t see how beet red my face was. “I should just change.”
Now, it was too late. I hadn’t found anything to change into so I was stuck wearing my stupid pink sweater and jeans. Timidly, I wanted to ask her how many people at the party would be dressed like me. But then I thought the better of it and shut my mouth.
“We’re here.” Kimmy grinned and pointed up at the building in front of us. It was an older, brick building with a big sign in the front that read Bleeding Prophets.
“Are these guys, um, safe?”
Kimmy looked at me like I had three heads. “What?”
“I mean, are we gonna be okay?”
Kimmy laughed. “Just don’t drink too much, Vanessa, and you’ll be fine.”
I said nothing as I followed her inside. By the door stood the biggest guy I’d ever seen. It wouldn’t be fair to call him fat; he was more muscular, with tattoos covering almost every inch of his skin. He was wearing a black t-shirt and black pants and he looked at Kimmy with obvious lust on his face as she sashayed past.
“Hold up,” he said to me. “I need to see your ID.”
I blushed hard and dropped my purse to the ground, spilling the contents to the floor. As tampons and my wallet and sunglasses spread over the ground, I dropped to my knees and began grabbing things and shoving them back in the bag at random.
“I’m sorry,” I wailed as I got to my feet, blushing hard. My heart was pounding in my chest and I could feel my bangs sticking to my forehead with a nervous sweat. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
The man stared at me. “I said I need to see your ID,” he snapped. “I ain’t around all day just for you, lady.”
Meekly, I handed over my ID and waited as he scrutinized it.
“You’re twenty-one?”
I nodded. “I know, I look young.”
The man shook his head. “You’re a baby,” he said. “Get in there.” He jerked his head to the side and I saw a dark corridor that opened up into a big room. There were flashing lights and tons of people. By the time I walked down the hall and into the room, there was no trace of Kimmy anywhere. It was like she’d just vanished.
“Can I help you?”
I jumped out of my skin at the sound of a loud voice. A woman was staring at me and grinning. “Excuse me?”
“You look lost,” she called back. “You lost, sweetheart?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Um, I lost my roommate.”
“Have a beer,” the woman said. She tossed me a cold can, which I barely caught. “Just relax, sweetheart. We ain’t gonna bite you.” She laughed and then turned on her heel and walked away.
Clutching the beer to my chest like it was a life raft, I took a deep breath and gazed around the room. I was shocked at what I saw, each sight lewder than the last. The room was full of gruff men in leather with tattoos and a bunch of women dressed like Kimmy. Everyone was drinking and talking really loudly. I could barely hear my own thoughts ricocheting around in my brain.
I saw a woman walk past in a leather miniskirt, and I followed her down another hallway and into an even bigger room that was full of pool tables and motorcycle insignia. I gasped when I looked to my right and saw a couple all but having full sex on one of the pool tables! I could feel my cheeks get hot as I ducked out of the way and ran over to the side, panting hard. The beer in my hands was sweating and I still hadn’t opened it. I felt like if I were to take a drink, I’d be nauseous just from sensory overload.
Worst of all, there was cigarette smoke everywhere and a faint, skunky odor in the air that could only have been marijuana. Closing my eyes, I leaned against the wall. Marijuana! My parents are going to kill me when they find out about this!
A muscular guy with blond hair and deep blue eyes walked over to me with a lazy grin on his face. His chin and jaw were covered in fine blond stubble and there was a gleam in his eyes that made my stomach feel funny. He was wearing a leather vest with a black t-shirt on underneath and dark jeans. I shivered as he stepped close and a whiff of cigarette smoke came over me.
“You look like you need a little help relaxing,” the guy said. He winked at me and I shuddered in fear.
“I’m fine,” I said. I forced a smile on my face and held up the can of beer. “I have a beer, see?”
“It’s not open,” the guy said mildly. He reached for the can in my hands and took it. When his fingers brushed against my skin, I shivered again. There was something about him, something about the look on his face that intrigued me. He seemed far too intelligent for a place like this and suddenly I wondered what his story was. Somehow, I was betting he wasn’t a third year pre-med student. As he popped the tab, I couldn’t help but stare at his hands. They were veiny and thick and somehow made my heart beat even faster.
“Thanks,” I said shyly as he handed the beer back to me.
“You still don’t look very relaxed,” the guy said with a grin. “How about going upstairs with me?”
“What’s upstairs?” I frowned. “More of the party?”
The guy shook his head. “There’s a room with a bed,” he said, winking at me.
“Oh!” I dropped the can of beer and it went clattering to the floor, spilling everywhere. I backed away as the guy kept grinning at me. Blood rose to my cheeks and neck and soon I was blushing harder than I ever had before in my life.
Turning around, I quickly walked out of the room without picking up the beer can. I could hear other people in the room laughing as I walked past and suddenly I knew with a sinking feeling that they were laughing about me. I began to panic. Where the hell is Kimmy? I need to find her so I can go home!
Back in the first room, I froze. There was a group of people in front of me and I watched as one of them pulled out his wallet, folded a few bills in his palm and slipped them over to one of the other guys. To my horror, the guy who took the money slipped back a small clear baggie. I couldn’t tell what was inside, but I knew with a gut feeling that I’d just watched a drug deal go down right before my eyes!
Swallowing hard, I turned around, determined to leave. Then I saw the guy again. He was sitting down on a red velvet couch and staring at me. The blood rose to my cheeks and I started walking away. But not before I saw him stick his arm out and beckon me with a finger.
“Come here,” the guy said softly. Miraculously, I could hear his voice over the din of the crowded room.
Nervously, I stepped forward and walked over until I was standing right in front of him. This close, I could see that his dark blue eyes were freckled with black and gold.
The guy patted the seat of the couch next to him. “Sit,” he said. He had a commanding voice, but he was smiling.
Swallowing hard, I sat down on the couch. Just then, someone to my left blew a plume of cigarette smoke into my face and I started to cough. I coughed and coughed until tears filled my eyes and ran down my cheeks. The smell was horrible. I couldn’t believe that anyone actually liked smoking!
When I was able to compose myself, I smoothed my jeans and crossed my legs politely at the ankle. Mom and Dad wouldn’t ever let me cross my legs at the knee—Mom said it wasn’t cultured, and that I’d wind up with varicose veins. I’d always wanted to sass her, tell her that no one would ever see my thighs anyway. But now I was glad that I’d listened. The guy watched me with obvious interest as I rested my hands in my lap and tilted my chin down.
“So, how about that room?” The guy winked at me. “Change your mind?”
I stared at him. Suddenly, I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it; it was like an instant reaction to how awkward I felt. For a moment, I thought he was going to get angry with me. But to my surprise, he started to laugh, too.
“Okay, okay,” the guy said, still chuckling. He had a nice deep, low, unpretentious laugh. Surprisingly, he also had good teeth: they were strong and white. He was one of the sexiest guys that I’d ever seen, and out of nowhere, I wondered what it would be like to kiss him. He had sensual, wide lips that curved up at the sides even when he wasn’t smiling. Thinking of kissing him made my insides feel funny, like my organs were starting to melt. Stop it, I told myself quickly. You don’t know anything about this guy, and he’s probably a creep! Just stop!
“I’m sorry,” I said, blushing hard. “I…I haven’t been to a party in a long time.”
“I can tell,” the guy said. He raised his eyebrows at me and I felt my blush get even redder. But unlike when Kimmy had made a similar comment, I detected no trace of sarcasm. “I’m Cade,” he said. “And you are you?”
“Vanessa, Vanessa Bailey,” I said softly, offering my hand for him to shake. When Cade took hold of my fingers, a sharp thrill went through my body, like nothing else I’d ever felt before. It was like my heart was struck with a lightning bolt.
“Nice to meet you,” Cade said with a grin. “You live around here?”
“Yup.” I nodded. “I actually just moved here. Um, I came here with my roommate, Kimmy. Kimmy Wilkerson, you know her?”
Cade whistled and a weird feeling came over me. It was a feeling that I was used to feeling, but not in this context. It was jealousy.
“Oh yeah,” Cade said with a laugh. He shook his head. “Yeah, I know Kimmy. She comes around to these parties all the time.” He raised his eyebrows. “You’re friends with her?”
“What?” I frowned. “What does that even mean?”
“Nothing,” Cade said. He shook his head again, sending his blond hair flopping into his gorgeous blue eyes. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his face. He was so rugged, so handsome. “Just that she doesn’t seem like your type.”
“We’ve only lived together for a few days,” I explained. “I found her on Craigslist. We both go to UW Madison and she needed someone to move into her apartment.”
Cade nodded. “She’s a nice kid most of the time,” he said. “And what about you? Are you an artist, too?”
“Pre-med,” I told him. “I’m a junior, so only one more year before med school.”
Cade laughed. “I knew you were smart,” he said. “Something about you just stands out that way.”
“And you’re a…Bleeding Prophet?” I glanced around the room. “You’re a biker?”
Cade nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Not exactly as hard as being a doctor, but you know.” He shrugged. “I like it, I’m working hard at it.”
I frowned. “I don’t really know anything about motorcycle clubs,” I mumbled. “What exactly do you do?”
Cade laughed again. I loved the gleam in his blue eyes. “Well, I don’t want to shock you,” he said, glancing around the room. When I followed his gaze, it struck me that I was so caught up in talking to Cade that the noise of the room had faded to me.
“But?” I raised my eyebrows and looked into Cade’s eyes.
“But, my guys, well, we’re responsible for keeping a lot of the town very happy if you get my drift.” He winked at me.
“Are you talking about dealing drugs?” The words tumbled out before I could think about them. I blushed hotly.
Cade gave a slight nod of his head. “That’s one thing some of the guys do,” he said. “You college kids are real good customers. Especially your roommate, Kimmy.”
“Oh god.” I buried my face in my hands, suddenly imagining the angry faces of my parents if they were to find out. “I had no idea.”
Cade shrugged. “It’s nothing too bad,” he said. “Ecstasy isn’t really addictive, and it’s only dangerous if you don’t know how to act while you take it. You always need to stay hydrated, for instance.”
I bit my lip. My heart was starting to beat quickly again, and I had a feeling that it would stay that way for the rest of the evening. Even though I had a feeling that Cade was the kind of guy only interested sex, I couldn’t help but feel intrigued. He was so sexy, so muscular, so tough looking, that I knew instantly he’d be good in bed. I couldn’t think about that without remembering how Calvin had blindly fumbled beneath my prom dress, hurting me more than pleasuring me. I blushed when I realized that Cade wouldn’t be like that at all. Cade would be suave, smooth, like guys in the movies.
“I see,” I said quietly.
“You want a pill?” Cade raised his eyebrows. “Free for you, Vanessa.”
I shook my head quickly, feeling my brown hair whip around my face. “No, thank you,” I said politely. “I only study drugs. I don’t take them.”
“Ah, yeah, Miss Doctor,” Cade replied with a lazy smirk on his face. “So, what do you wanna do when you get out of med school? Work in a hospital? Teach?”
“I want to work in a hospital,” I said softly. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.”
Cade nodded. “It’s good to have goals,” he said, leaning back and stretching his arms over the back of the couch. I thought he was going to wrap an arm around me and pull me close. When he didn’t, a pang of disappointment went through me. “I have goals,” Cade added. “I’m working up to become the new leader of the Prophets. Our president, Colton, is getting old. He’s looking at a few of the guys to replace him, and I’ve been doin’ everything right, trying to make sure that he knows I’m one of those guys.”
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-two,” Cade said. He grinned at me and I felt my heart melt. “Why, how old are you? You look about sixteen,” he added. “I’ve never seen a girl like you before at one of these things.”
I licked my lips. “Twenty-one,” I said softly. “And I didn’t exactly know it would be this kind of party,” I added. “Kimmy told me she was going, and at first, I didn’t wanna come with…but it seemed better than studying all night.”
“I forgot you’re out on a school night!” Cade winked at me and my stomach did a flip-flop. “What a bad girl.”
He was teasing, but the way he said it made me feel funny and warm between my legs. I swallowed hard. Whenever he leaned close, I twitched, somehow thinking that he was going to kiss me. But he didn’t make another move, and I didn’t ask.
“I’m not that much of a good girl,” I said softly. “I did have a secret boyfriend in high school.”
“Total rebel,” Cade agreed. He winked at me and we both laughed. I hadn’t expected us to have such an easy rapport, but the longer we talked, the more I felt like we actually had a few things in common. Sure, he was dangerous, but I wanted to help people get out of the hospital and he wanted to put people there. That was something in common, right?
“Right,” I said drily. “I’m a bad girl alright.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Cade said. He shrugged and stretched. I couldn’t take my eyes away from his torso when he lifted his arms up in the air and the black cotton hugged his visible abdominal muscles. “It’s hard when you’re shy.”
“I don’t think you’ve ever been shy in your life,” I replied.
Cade shook his head. “Not really,” he said with a grin. “But some of my friends are. I know they’ve really had to work on being more extroverted. It’ll happen with time,” he said confidently. “Don’t worry.”
I rolled my eyes. “Not sure why you think that, but I’m flattered.” I mumbled. “I just moved out of my parents’ house for the first time, and I feel like I’ve been a complete failure at having any kind of social life in college.” I swallowed hard. Even though I hadn’t had anything alcoholic to drink, I was starting to feel looser. “That’s why I moved out,” I added. “I wanted to…you know, have fun for the first time.”
“And this is your definition of fun?”
I looked around the room slowly. “Not exactly, but I think it’s growing on me,” I said softly. “After all, a new experience is a new experience.”
Cade winked and I blushed. “I can teach you all about new experiences,” he said, leaning in close.
Kiss me, I thought suddenly. I want you to kiss me.