By the time I got home, I was almost swimming in a puddle of my own arousal. Cade had led me into a back alley and we’d shared a steamy make out session. His hands had been all over me, pawing me through my clothes. I could feel my chin was red and swollen from his stubble rubbing against my face. I didn’t care. Cade was my boyfriend, and even though it was a secret, I felt happier and more self-indulgent than I ever had in my entire life.
Thankfully, I managed to beat Mom and Dad back to the apartment. After a quick shower, I threw on a pair of sweatpants and curled up on the couch with my anatomy textbook. I was hoping that the little break would have done some good, but I found focusing harder than ever before. I kept zoning out and staring at the drawings, imagining Cade naked in front of me and staring up at me with his blue eyes blazing.
When the front door opened, I jumped up in surprise.
Kimmy was standing there, clad in a hot pants and a crop top. She looked flushed and tired, like she’d just finished running a marathon. When she saw the suitcases in the living room, her eyebrows went up.
“What the fuck is this, are you going on a trip? Lucky,” Kimmy said. She flopped down on the opposite end of the couch and I felt my stomach flip with anxiety.
“Not exactly,” I said softly. “My parents showed up this morning. They’re gonna be staying for a week. Two, maybe, at the most.”
Kimmy stared. “Oh god,” she said. “Really? You can’t make them leave sooner?”
I bit my lip and shook my head. “Sorry,” I mumbled. “I know, it sucks. They just showed up, and they wouldn’t listen when I said that it’s not a good time for a visit.”
Kimmy narrowed her eyes. “And you’re sure you told them that I wouldn’t be happy if they stayed over?”
I blushed hard. “I’m really sorry. They just wouldn’t listen.”
Kimmy pushed herself up off the couch and ran her hands through her thick blonde hair. I stared at her—she was still one of the prettiest girls that I’d ever seen. I couldn’t explain it, but it was like something inside of me really wanted her to like me, even though I knew she was actually kind of a bitch. Maybe it was because I’d never been all that popular, but being around Kimmy made me feel like I had finally found a second chance to be cool.
“Fine,” she said. “I’m going to nap. Tell your parents that I’m really not happy about this.”
I looked away as her loud footsteps carried her across the apartment. The slam of her door echoed off the walls.
When Mom and Dad got back, I’d managed to read two chapters and retain about a tenth of it. I couldn’t believe myself—even before when I’d been preoccupied, it was still possible to study and do a good job. But right now it felt like Cade had slipped inside my head and begun to control my brain. I couldn’t think about anything but him. When would I see him again? Would things still be the same between us? Did we have to keep our relationship a secret forever?
“Hi, honey,” Mom chirped. She sighed. “Boy, we’re beat! Your father had this idea to take a walk around the city and it’s nice, but I’m so tired!” She yawned loudly and put a hand up to cover her open mouth. “Have you been inside all day, Vanessa? You’re starting to look pale.”
“Kimmy got home,” I said pointedly. “And she told me that she’s really not thrilled about you two visiting right now. She’s going through some issues,” I added in a loud whisper. “Are you sure about staying?”
Mom nodded. “It’s your apartment, too,” she said breezily. “And you wanted us here, so tough cookies for Kimmy!”
I had to look away so she wouldn’t see the pained expression on my face. I never wanted to be one of those bratty daughters, the kind who told their parents that they hated them. But then again, I was afraid of becoming a complete and total doormat, too. If I couldn’t even learn to stand up to my parents, how the hell was I supposed to make it working in a hospital? The atmosphere in a medical facility is always tough. I didn’t want to be bullied my whole life!
Almost immediately, I felt guilty. Mom and Dad were my parents. They loved me! They wanted me to be happy! At least that was what I wanted to believe. Deep down, sometimes I was afraid to think that I almost didn’t know.
I helped Mom make some lunch for the two of us and Dad while he watched TV. I’d tried to tell him about Kimmy, again, but just like Mom, Dad had brushed me right off. It was irritating. Were they going to do this my whole life?
“So, Vanessa,” Dad said. “I was thinking about coming to school with you tomorrow, checking out some of your classes. You think your professors would want to talk to me?” He raised his eyebrows. Dad had been retired for a few years but I knew that he’d gone through med school and worked as a hospital administrator for a period of time.
“Dad,” I groaned. “Please don’t do that. They won’t have time. You know how busy professors are.”
Dad stared at me. “Well, they’re certainly too busy to pay attention to politics.” His face twisted into a grimace. “Those darn professors are just as liberal as ever.” He laughed. “Shows how much they really know!”
I tried not to roll my eyes. “Dad, they’re all really smart,” I said softly. “And you know I don’t pay attention to politics.”
“You’d better not start,” Dad warned. “This world is going straight to hell. I think just watching the news would be enough to put a mark on your soul!”
I gritted my teeth uncomfortably. We’d managed to make it a few hours without religion coming up, and I didn’t want an earful of that now. When I’d first moved out, I’d promised Mom and Dad that I’d find a nice church in Madison. It wasn’t that I hadn’t had time, exactly, but it hadn’t really been at the top of my priorities list. After all, I wasn’t sure how religious I really was. Wouldn’t a church be able to guess how rotten my mind was? I felt like my obsession with Cade was written clear on my face, and I didn’t fancy sitting in a pew for two hours each week and feeling guilty about having premarital sex.
“Okay, Dad,” I said calmly. “I’m going to finish studying now. You enjoy your lunch, okay?”
Dad frowned at me. I could tell he wanted to say something else, but thankfully he shut his mouth and turned away towards the TV.