Chapter 4

Allison

If there was one thing I hated more than anything, it was someone who couldn’t be on time. Doug had not only called the night before to postpone getting Sierra for the weekend but when he said he’d arrive before ten, he meant whenever the hell he felt like it.

Sierra didn’t care, and it wasn’t that I minded either, but it was hard enough to get her to go as it was and hard enough to get him to step up and be a father, too. I’d felt like I was the only one in my life having to be responsible, and I was at my wit’s end dealing with Doug.

To kill time, I browsed through the job listings and searched for something better. I loved working with Katrina, and she’d done me a solid by getting me the position, but I couldn’t work there forever. The tips were shitty most days and not the real money I needed to be making if I wanted to send Sierra to a good college someday.

I skimmed the listings, hoping to be a marketer or an advertiser, but most of the listings were nothing more than coffee fetchers, and I was doing that now. I thought of David’s family. His father had owned one of the largest advertising agencies in the city, and I wondered if there were any positions open at DeVant. It might be worth looking in to.

And that was when I heard the asshole’s car pull into my driveway.

“Come on, Sierra. Your father’s here. Grab your bag, and remember, it’s just one night. You’ll be back in no time.” I didn’t want her to pout in front of her dad.

I opened the door and led her out.

“Hey, kiddo!” Doug opened his arms, and she went over and gave him a big hug. “How’s my best girl?” He pulled her close and then carried her bag to the car. “Get buckled in, sweetheart.”

He turned from the car and shut the door. As usual, his smile faded into a menacing grin that quickly morphed into a scowl.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit much for her to bring for one night? Why are you always having her bring that much shit?”

I looked over his shoulder to make sure she couldn’t hear him. “It’s one bag, Doug, and she’s a kid. She needs toys. If you kept some of those things at your place, then she wouldn’t have to lug them back and forth.”

He turned and smiled at Sierra and then turned back to shake his head at me. “No way. Me and Cindy don’t want to be tripping over that bullshit all week. She can pack it with her, but just tell her to take it easy next time. That bag weighs a fucking ton. Speaking of, you put on a little weight?” He leaned in and looked me up and down before giving a little laugh.

“Nope, I sure haven’t, Doug. You look a few pounds lighter, though. Oh, wait, that’s just your hair. I can see it’s getting thinner.”

“Yeah, well, Cindy likes it. And that’s not all she likes if you know what I mean. Of course, you were always such a fucking dead lay, you probably don’t.” He stood closer, looking down his nose at me as if he wanted to hit me, but close enough to kiss me.

I wasn’t going to let him intimidate me. It was what he was always trying to do. I’d learned to stop being scared of his tough talk a long time ago.

He’d turn it off and on like a switch, but as long as he never treated my daughter the way he treated me, I’d let him live.

“Have a nice time with our daughter, Doug.” I turned and walked away, not wanting to play his stupid games anymore. How he could think I really cared about his girlfriend, when I had been the one to leave his sorry ass, was beyond me, but it never failed that he acted like an immature asshole every time he came around. It was fucking exhausting.

The only painful part was that I hated to see my baby have to go with him, which is why he insisted on getting her, even if it was an inconvenience for him.

He had no paternal instincts whatsoever, and knowing she didn’t want to go with him just made it ten times worse. I went inside and stopped in the middle of my living room. It always felt so empty when she left, like all the air had been sucked out of it by Doug the asshole.

I didn’t want to stay there alone, so I called my mother. She answered the phone with her usual enthusiasm. “How are my girls?” I could hear the smile in her voice.

“Doug just left.”

Mom cleared her throat. “Oh. What’s he doing dropping by on a Saturday?”

“It’s Sierra’s weekend with her father, but he was unable to get her last night. I’m sure he and Cindy had something they wanted to do, but he claimed he was working late.” That was usually the reason. He was busy living the life he wanted, while I had to be the responsible one. It wasn’t fair, but I was glad it was that way and would see to it that it never changed. I’d lay my life down for my daughter if it killed me.

“What did he find to bitch about this time?” It was really pathetic when even my mother knew how he acted.

“He thought that Sierra’s bag was too heavy. Anything to have something to bitch about.” I let loose a long breath and raked my hand through my hair. “I was wondering—”

“You don’t even have to ask, honey. You know you’re welcomed anytime.” She’d been letting me come home to spend the night with her and my father since the divorce when things got too lonely, and we’d spend the night watching old classic movies.

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll bring some popcorn. Is there anything else I need to pick up?”

“Not that I can think of.”

“I’ll be on my way, shortly.”

I got off the phone and went to get myself freshened up. I had laid around most of the day and hadn’t bothered to dress up for the asshole’s arrival. I brushed out my long, blond hair, pulled it up in a ponytail, and swiped on some mascara and gloss so I would feel made up enough to stop at the store on my way to my parents’ house. I pulled on some faded, holey jeans and a Foo Fighters concert tee I’d had since college.

I was about to walk out of the house when I realized I’d left my computer open to the classified ads. I sat down in front of the screen. I had been thinking about David DeVant, and before I closed it, I decided to look him up. It had been years, and I still got giddy just thinking about him.

The search engine pulled up his pictures. David was rarely shown with a woman on his arm, but I knew he had to be dating someone. He was so gorgeous, and as I took in every single pixel of his hotness, my body warmed thinking of the last time we’d seen each other.

I tried to push the memory away. Missing Sierra, I felt miserable enough. I didn’t want to sit and think about what could have been with David. If only I’d kept in touch with him instead of going back with that asshole Doug. But David had a life in the military and big dreams that I would never be a part of.

I shut the computer down and grabbed my bag before heading out to my parents’ house.

Before I even got to the store, Doug was calling with a complaint. “Hey, I just remembered. Cindy’s parents asked us to come by tomorrow, so I’ll be bringing Sierra home about ten in the morning.”

“Dammit, Doug, why even take her at all? And not only that, but I’m not even home. If you want to ditch her that early, you’ll have to bring her to my parents’ house. I’m staying the night with them.”

“Whatever, I can do that. I don’t need your fucking mouth about it, either. I get her on my weekends, and it shouldn’t mean dick to you how I do it.”

“You’re supposed to follow the court’s instructions.”

“You know, if you want to be a bitch about it, then do something about it if you don’t like it. Take me to court again, see if I give fuck all about it.” He hung up the phone, and I wanted to scream, but I pulled into the store parking lot and went inside for my father’s favorite popcorn.

I pulled up at my childhood home and felt a huge weight as I walked into the house and hugged my mother.

“What’s got you down, honey?”

“Nothing. Doug’s being an ass. He called to tell me he’s dropping Sierra off in the morning, but I told him to come here. I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course, it is. We’ll get to see our granddaughter, too.” Mom and Dad exchanged a smile.

My father was making himself a PB and J. “Twice the lovin’.” He licked the knife and tossed it into the sink.

“I brought popcorn, so don’t spoil your appetite.” I shook the box, and he smiled before taking a big bite of the sandwich.

“Your father doesn’t know how to spoil an appetite, honey. Only feed it.”

Dad wrapped his sandwich in a napkin. “There’s a great classic movie coming on tonight. I’m not sure you’ve seen this one.” He always said that, but it usually turned out I’d seen it.

“I’m just going to step out and call Katrina, and then we can get it started.”

“Okay, cupcake.” Dad headed to his chair, and Mom took the box of popcorn and threw a bag in the microwave as I stepped out on the front stoop and dialed her number.

Katrina didn’t answer, but I left a message and turned to look up at the house across the street. Mr. DeVant had been dead nearly a year, and the huge house had stood empty since. The place was still perfectly manicured, with the gardeners still performing their duties to keep the place looking alive, but I could tell the place was empty and had been for a while. I remembered the way it had been when we were kids, with David’s car in the driveway, Missy’s purple curtains in the window, and Blaine’s toys scattered on the front lawn.

My heart missed the times when life was so much easier, but for all the trouble Doug caused me, I wouldn’t trade my daughter for the world.