***
Aiden left just before lunch, and I piddled around the house, trying to think through how to spend my day off. Not being at the hospital left too many hours open in the day. I dropped down on the couch and watched TV until late in the afternoon, feeling like a slug for not doing something more constructive.
Back in New York, I would have haunted the halls of the hospital, helping out or looking for a new girl to take back to my place. A smile played at the side of my mouth at the thought of getting back home. Boston had been a mistake, and I was mature enough to realize that. Aiden might have offered the opportunity to me, but I jumped on it like stink on shit. I wasn't sure what I was hoping for. Recognition? Grandeur? Respect from another set of colleagues.
My phone buzzed, pulling me out of my reverie. My dad.
"Hey dad. What's up?" I leaned back and stretched my free arm in the air.
"Hey, buddy." He sounded like death. I jolted up. "I'm not feeling so well."
"Where is Missy?" I walked to the bedroom and found some clothes. Something was wrong. I could tell by the sound of his voice.
"She left a few days ago. I guess she and her ex are going to try and work through things." Sadness filled the room around me. His combined with mine.
"Okay. Well, I'm on my way down there. Just hang tight, and you and I can spend the evening together."
"I think maybe I should call the hospital. I feel hot and can't think straight."
"Yes. Call them. I'm headed that way. Make sure you tell them to call me, okay?"
"I promise. See you soon." He dropped the call, and my heart almost stopped.
Why the fuck hadn't he called me a few days back when Missy left? And why the hell would she getting back with her ex stop her from cleaning and cooking? I grabbed my keys and raced down to the parking lot to find my bike.
It wasn't about the services she was providing. My father had taken the fucking pictures of my mother off the wall. He'd worshiped that woman for the entirety of my life. She was his everything.
"He thought he had a chance at happiness again. Fuck." I got on the bike and drove like a bat out of hell the whole hour to his place. I assumed he was already at the hospital, but something inside of me nagged me to make sure. If he were already there, they were taking care of him. If not... I stopped my train of thought as I pulled up to his house.
I barely got off the bike before half-falling off of it in my attempt to run up to the house. I opened the door and called out. "Dad? You in here, man? It's Parks."
The sound of someone groaning down the hall had my heart in my throat. I pulled out my phone and ran down the hallway to see him on the floor of his bedroom, his skin deep yellow.
"9-1-1. What's your emergency?"
"This is Jacob Parker. My father is suffering from Jaundice due to liver failure. Please send an ambulance to three-twenty-two Fallen Stock Lane." I knelt beside him and reached out to grip his hand.
"An ambulance is on the way."
I dropped the call and moved down to my knees. "Dad? Can you hear me?"
He mumbled something as his eyes fluttered closed. Beer cans littered the bedroom, and the stench of alcohol rolled off of him in thick waves.
"Just hold on, okay? I'll get you to the hospital, and they'll help. This is fixable. No problem at all." I pulled him in my lap and cradled him, talking to him softly until the ambulance arrived. The EMS worked quickly, and before I could blink twice.
"He's an alcoholic. I'm not sure how long he's been in Jaundice. The last time he had someone around him was three days ago," I let the words fall from my lips, answering every question as best I could as they got him in the ambulance.
The EMS asked a million questions, and I worked hard to focus on the guy’s voice and nothing else. I told them I’d follow on my bike just so I’d have some way to get my ass back home. It wasn’t like I had anyone near that I could call.
We got to the small hospital and I moved out of the way and let the doctors and nurses take over.
Standing in the waiting room, pacing the floor gave me a new respect altogether for family and friends of the loved ones I worked on. It had been forever since I'd been given a reality check, but the one in front of me was more than enough.
"Mr. Parker?" An older doctor walked toward me, his hand extended. "I'm Doctor Jeff Jones. Your father is resting peacefully and the yellow levels-"
"I'm a neurosurgeon. Just shoot it to me straight. Please." I shook his hand hard before moving back and trying like hell not to wrap my arms around myself. Everything seemed to be closing in on me. I knew what liver failure looked like in the early stages and in the advanced. How the fuck had my dad gone without treatment or me noticing it?
"Right. Sorry." He nodded. "He's in the advanced stages of liver failure. We're going to do what we can, but I'm not able to give you much hope."
"I'm sorry?" I wrapped my arms around myself. "There are a million treatments for this."
"Yes, and you're at the stage of a transplant. He'll go on a list."
"How long is the list?" For the first time in my adult life, I lamented my decision to be single, to protect myself. Standing there alone with no one to turn to was the darkest moment of my life.
"Longer than he has." He glanced down and took a shallow breath before looking up. "We'll make him comfortable, and you can come see him whenever you're ready."
"Thanks. I need a minute." I turned and walked out of the hospital, got on my bike and drove until I ran out of gas. I dropped down in a field in the middle of nowhere and cried until the sun broke over the edge of the earth.
My dad had been given the shitty end of the stick a million times, and he was a good man.
If he couldn't find peace or love, what hope did I have?
Right. None.