Nightclub Sins: A Billionaire Romance Series by Michelle Love (14)

Cora chuckled. ‘That’s Charlie; he always looks like that but he’s a big softy, really. To me, at least, he’s been very kind.’

‘Little crush, sis?’

Cora giggled through her blushes. ‘Noooo….He’s Lila’s oldest friend, and a cop.’ She broke off suddenly. ‘His partner, Riley, is lovely too.’

‘He’s gay?’

Cora laughed. ‘No, his police partner, idiot. Hey, come meet some people.’

Harry balked and made an excuse – he really didn’t want to meet ‘people’. Cora, shaking her head, stuck her tongue out at him and smiled.

‘Hermit.’

‘Twig.’

‘Old man.’

‘Wise-ass.’

Harry smiled after his sister….oh lord, talking of sisters; Judith was bearing down on him. Out of all the Carnegie children, Harry was the only one she liked – adored, actually. The feeling was definitely not mutual.

Not even pretending to be subtle about it, Harry made his escape to the bar his parents had set up in the reception room.

‘Dewer’s on the rocks, please.’

The barman nodded and went to get his drink. Harry leaned against the bar and rubbed his eyes. God, let this be over soon, please…

‘I heard an accent,’ said a voice….an Australian voice. ‘Might you be the sibling who escaped all this grandeur to go to the greatest country on Earth?’

Harry grinned and looked up to see a stunningly pretty blonde girl grinning at him. ‘I might be. Well spotted.’

She laughed. ‘Wasn’t hard. I have Oz-dar.’

‘The hell is Oz-dar.’

‘Like gay-dar, except I can spot an Aussie accent a mile away – even an ex-pat who’s caught the lingo. Where did you end up?’

‘Melbourne.’

She clinked her drinks glass against his. ‘Born and bred.’

Harry smiled. God, she was gorgeous, blonde hair pulled back in a low pony tail, blue eyes sparkling with humor, pink, rosebud lips parted in a wide smile. He stuck out his hand. ‘Harry Carnegie.’

‘Tinsley Chang.’

Harry raised his eyebrows. ‘Chang?’

She grinned, obviously expecting the question. ‘My stepdad is Chinese. And lot nicer than my real dad was so when my mum remarried, I took his name.’

‘That’s cool. I know the weight of having a ‘name’.’ He motioned around the place, then added hurriedly, ‘Not that I don’t love my family, because I do.’ Sadness enveloped him and Tinsley stepped toward him, placing her hand on his arm.

‘I’m sorry, Harry, about Richard, about all this. I got to know him quite well over the last few years; Lila and I used to work at the same bar and Charlie and I used to double-date with them.’

A spike of disappointment went through him. ‘Oh, so you and the bulldog?’

She laughed. ‘Not anymore, no, but thankfully, we’ve stayed friends.’

Harry nodded, his mind racing. She was utterly beguiling but a complication he really didn’t need at the moment. Unless he was desperately needed, he wanted to get back to Australia and his life there. His shipping business was huge now, built from a small export and import company he’d started with some capital from his father and it had made him a billionaire in less than two years. He knew his father, to whom he was closest, was proud of him but within himself, there was a building dissatisfaction with his life. He wanted to create something, something tangible, with his own hands. He wanted to build boats, beautiful bespoke, hand-crafted sailboats for passionate sailors like himself. He just didn’t know how his family would react if the CEO of the world’s most successful shipping company was to give it all up to apprentice as a shipwright.

So…Tinsley Chang, no matter how enchanting, was a no-go. Really. Seriously. You can’t go there, man. And guess what, you definitely can’t ask a woman out at your brother’s funeral, dumbass…

He sighed. ‘Look, I have to get going but it was great to meet you.’

Tinsley nodded, not showing any disappointment or insult. ‘You too, Harry. Hey, if you get the chance before you go back to Melbs, drop by the bar and I’ll buy you a farewell drink.’ She handed him a business card, and smiling, he took it.

‘I will, thanks.’

Tinsley disappeared back into the gathering and he watched her go, feeling regretful and yet suddenly more optimistic. This trip home could be different than he’d planned. It could be the moment he finally broke free from his family’s expectations, and told them what he really wanted for his life.

New York City

A week after the funeral, and Lila was just about finished packing up the apartment. The Carnegie’s had insisted that she do whatever she wanted with the place; it was hers. So she decided to sell, find a small place in the city, put the money in a bond somewhere to gather interest. Not that she ever had to worry about money again, of course; Richard had left her his fortune, his properties, his cars, his personal effects. Only his trust fund and his seat on the board of Carnegie’s industries went back to his family, the trust fund split between Cora and Harry.

Lila had begged Delphine to come and choose anything of Rich’s that she wanted before Lila put it all in storage. ‘There’s no way I’m more entitled to anything than you,’ she told her and Delphine reluctantly acquiesced.

Now the place rang with emptiness, with sadness, with the hole Richard had left. God, they had been so in love in the beginning, so sure that they belonged together. A part of Lila wished they hadn’t decided to end things that last time, that Richard had died with the certainty he was loved by her. Which he was, of course; they did love each other – but it hadn’t been enough.

And then there was Noah…

Lila sat down on the floor amidst the boxes, her entire body aching. She had pushed herself too far; it was still only a few months since her stabbing. Although she had made a remarkably quick recovery (thanks, in part, to Noah), tonight, her body was hurting – a lot. She lay down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. She had rented a one-bedroom apartment in the village, and tomorrow she would make the final move and start over.

Except…she didn’t want to be here, in New York, anymore. She wanted mountains, and orca, and the Space Needle. She wanted to go home and start her life over there…

And then there was Noah…

‘You, again,’ she whispered and closed her eyes, recalling his tall, broad frame, those sea-green eyes that twinkled with mischief. She remembered the feel of his skin on hers. At first, only in a professional capacity. The first time they’d met, he’d examined her, fingertips light on her spine, then pressing down, doing a routine exam of her abdomen, her injuries. The look in his eyes when he’d seen the extent of the stab wounds – not pity – not anger, compassion, empathy.

Only now could Lila admit that she’d been hooked from that first day. As they’d progressed through her rehabilitation, she got more and more excited when she knew she was going to see him.

When he started to visit with her after hours, she knew she wasn’t the only one feeling it. They would sit and talk about their lives, about everything. She knew he was thirty-nine, from money (he’d rolled his eyes when he’d told her that) and that he loved what he did. They would laugh and joke about the same things, and every night his chair would get closer to her bed.

That last day, she had woken up, knowing that she would see him, professionally, for the last time and Lila knew, with every fiber of her being, that she would have to do…something. She hadn’t counted on the passionate love-making on the floor of the rehab room; his gentle but firm touch, the way he caressed her body, the way he looked at her. She could recall every second that his huge, diamond-hard cock thrust into her, that she’d never wanted it to end, coming over and over. His kiss, his mouth on hers.god…

Lila rolled onto her side and moaned softly. Noah…Seattle…so much temptation. Stop it. Get up, go grab some food, and get some sleep. ‘Okay,’ she said out loud and rolled up, scrambling to her feet.

A searing, tearing pain ripped through her belly then and she gasped, doubling over. Overwhelming nausea and then she was running, just making it to the bathroom in time before she threw up. She vomited until her stomach was empty, and then sat down on the edge of the tub to recover, breathing deeply, trying to quell the nausea. Jesus…she had pushed it too far.

She swiveled around and ran the hot water. A soak would be perfect, then maybe she’d order some Chinese food and…uh-oh…big mistake. She bent over the toilet and dry-heaved for a few painful moments. As the bathtub filled, she brushed her teeth, gagging gently, trying to breathe through her nose. Soon, she was sinking gratefully into the tub, letting the warm water sooth her tired body and she felt herself begin to drift. She reached out to grab a bath towel, rolling it up and resting her head against it. So tired, so warm…

She awoke with a start. The water was freezing cold but it wasn’t that which woke her. It was the fact that she felt something, even maybe heard something.

Someone was in the apartment with her.

Big mistake, my darling, sending the security team home for the night. I heard you telling them, in that sweet but firm voice of yours, that you didn’t need their protection anymore.

But you were wrong.

That glorious body of yours stretched out in the bathtub, your golden skin, your dark hair piled on top of your head, those dark circles under your eyes. The way those thick, black eyelashes rest on your cheek. Your breasts…I want to reach out and touch them but no…I hold back. I watch the soft rise and fall of your belly as you breathe; admire the scars my knife left on you that day. I imagine going back to your kitchen, finding a knife and returning to plunge it again into your center, watch the shock on your face as you bleed out into the tub. Letting them find you dead and gone.

But not tonight, my love. Tonight, I allow you to live. Tonight, you may dream of days to come, weeks, months, years, in which you will make plans, plans which may never come to pass.

Because, my lovely Lila, I will come back for you…and when I do, you will beg for death before I finish with you. The horrors I will visit on that perfect body of yours before I take your life…

…they will be the stuff of legend.

Seattle

Noah Applebaum was having a bad day. A really bad day. First, a most beloved patient had died unexpectedly on his table, then later, a colleague, a good friend, had quit, telling everybody that he wanted to spend more time at home with his family.

‘Bullcrap, Billy,’ Noah had said to him, enraged, ‘They’ve forced you out.’

Bill Nordstrom sighed sadly. ‘Noah, when you get to my age, you realize – older people are written off. They’re worried about their liability. If I make one mistake and a patient dies…’

‘That comes with the territory of being a doctor,’ Noah shook his head. ‘They’re fucking cowards, is all.’

Bill, his seventieth birthday just passed, smiled at Noah, his wise old eyes crinkling at the edges. ‘Kiddo, I’ve seen it and done it all. It’s time.’

Fuck the Board. Noah had fumed about it all day, his usual good humor missing. That’s not the only thing missing. Lila. God, he missed her like he was missing a limb. He wanted to see her, touch her, hold her, make sure she was okay, was safe. He had been shocked by Richard Carnegie’s murder, had wanted to reach out to her but he didn’t know if she would want that, whether it would be appropriate given what had passed between Lila and himself.

That day was imprinted on his memory, the feel of her soft skin, her lips, and the velvety warmth of her cunt…her violet eyes shining up at him. What they did…so unprofessional, so wrong given her situation and her health…felt so right. The moment his cock had slid into her, he knew that he was lost. She was his for such a brief moment in time but his heart was forever hers now.

Missing her was another reason why Noah drove home in a foul mood. When he saw Lauren, his ex-girlfriend of five year ago, parked in her convertible outside his condo, he was about ready to explode.

‘What are you doing here?’ Short, brusque, hoping she’d take the hint.

She didn’t. ‘I was just driving past some of our old favorite haunts and I got nostalgic,’ she said with what she must have thought was a sensual smile. Noah wasn’t impressed.

‘Lauren, this isn’t a good time.’

He stalked to his front door – and she followed. ‘Come on, NoNo; invite me in for a drink.’

Ugh. He’d forgotten about that damned nickname – who calls a six-five forty-year-old man ‘NoNo’?

Man, you really are in a dark place…calm down. Noah sighed. ‘One drink then. I’m really tired, Lauren.’ Please god, don’t let her call herself ‘LoLo’ – there was no way he was up for being ‘NoNo and LoLo’ tonight. Suddenly he found his humor again. As he walked into the house, he found himself wanting to talk with Lila, tell her about the horrifyingly twee names Lauren would give them. Lila would find it hilarious.

Lauren saw his smile and got encouraged. ‘It’s been too long, Noah.’

Noah poured the both a drink. ‘Tequila is all I have. No lime, sorry.’

‘Doesn’t matter. How have you been?’

Noah drew in a deep breath. ‘Good, look, I don’t want to be rude but – ‘

‘Why am I here?’

He nodded, and then relented. ‘Not that it’s not good to see you.’

Lauren sat back and smiled. ‘I really was just passing some of the places we used to hang out, where we had good times. Remember we used to walk your dog at the Gasworks? Sunday afternoons. We’d make huge bowls of pasta when we got home and loll about in front of the TV. for the rest of the day. I miss that.’

Noah sat down opposite her. ‘Yes, those were the good days. But, Lauren, they were quickly outnumbered by the bad.’

Lauren’s smile faded. ‘And I know I was to blame for that, Noah. I was young and greedy and stupid, and I apologize. I was too dumb to see beyond your family, and their wealth.’ She leaned forward, her pretty face earnest. ‘But, Noah…I’ve grown up so much you probably wouldn’t recognize me. I’ve made my own money, become fully independent and I want you to know…I’d like to try again.’

Noah opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off, her voice shaking. ‘Please, just hear me out.’

Noah gave her a brief, short nod and she smiled gratefully. ‘Noah, these last five years apart have been lonely. Yes, I’ve seen other people but no-one I connected with as much as you. Please, Noah, won’t you at least think about it?’

Noah sighed. ‘Lauren…it’s not that easy.’

She studied him. ‘Is there someone else?’

Yes, yes, god, yes. ‘It’s complicated.’

Lauren’s hands were trembling. ‘I see. Well…I’m sorry to have bothered you.’

Noah felt sorry for her. ‘Lauren, look, if it weren’t for – ‘

‘Please don’t say whatever it is you’re about to,’ Lauren cut him off and stood up. ‘I don’t want your pity, Noah. I came to say my piece and I have. I’m sorry to have bothered you.’

He walked her to the door and as he opened it, she touched his arm. ‘I hope she knows how lucky she is.’

Noah felt sadness settle over him. ‘It’s me who should feel like that. I’m sorry, Lauren, for all of this but I just can’t think past her at the moment.’

Lauren nodded then suddenly kissed him full on the mouth. ‘Goodbye, Noah. I’ll never forget you.’

Noah shut the door behind her, blowing out his cheeks, releasing the tension. If Lauren’s visit had done anything, it had just solidified in Noah’s mind that he couldn’t move on. He wanted Lila so much it physically hurt him to think about her. Screw it, he thought, just get to New York, find her and see what could be.

In an hour, he was on the plane to the Big Apple.

Manhattan

Harry Carnegie, not known for being nervous, now felt it keenly. He sat with his father, Richard Carnegie Sr., waiting for the older man’s reaction to what he had just told him. Richard Sr. stared out of the window. Harry noticed how much his pa had aged in the last year, how quiet and subdued he’d become. They talked every other day on Skype when Harry was back in Australia and although Richard Sr. had never been an exuberant man, he enjoyed joking with his son as they talked. Now, though, his eyes were flat, his posture one of defeat.

‘Dad?’ The waiting was killing Harry. Richard Sr. blinked as if finally remembering his son was in his office.

‘Harrison…you have to do what you love in this life. Do I wish what you loved was running the business you built? Of course, but realistically, who loves that? It’s your decision, son. It’s not as if you have to get rid of the business, just get some good managers in.’

‘That’s just it, Dad. I don’t want the business; I don’t want to be burdened by it. We could sell it for…well…billions. I just want to start over, build boats, and be freer in my everyday life.’

Richard Sr. rubbed his chin. ‘Harry, I mean it. It’s your decision – you’re a young man with every opportunity open to you. Do it, try it out. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.’ He suddenly gave his son a wry smile. ‘I’d be even happier if you decided to make boats here.’

Harry shifted uncomfortably. ‘Dad…’

Richard held up his hands. ‘Oh I know, I know. You’re an Australian now. We just miss you, is all.’

Harry left his father’s office and decided to stroll around the city. Melbourne had half the population of New York City; here there were too many people in too small a place. Harry always felt like he couldn’t breathe when he was here.

He shoved his hands into his pants pockets and felt something slit the top of his finger. ‘Son of a…’ He pulled the offending object out. A business card. The card Tinsley Chang had given him. Harry sucked his finger to get rid of the blood, and stared at the card. The bar was only a few blocks from here…

Decision made, he turned on his heel and headed into the Village.

‘Tins, help me out here,’ Riley Kinsayle grinned at the blonde bar woman. ‘Charlie wants me to believe that the reason you two broke up was because of his huge…commitment to work.’

Charlie, sitting next to his partner, grinned at his ex-girlfriend. ‘Ignore him; he has the mentality of a four-year-old.’

Tinsley laughed, drying glasses and stacking them neatly behind the bar. ‘Riley, I’ll tell you the truth….it was just that his cock was too damn big for me.’ She winked at Charlie who raised a glass.

‘That’s my girl.’

Riley cackled with laughter then sighed. ‘At least you got some action; I can’t even remember the last time I got laid.’

‘Probably because you’re always talking about it and not doing anything about it,’ Charlie muttered, rolling his eyes.

Tinsley chuckled then her smile faded. ‘You guys any closer to finding out who tried to kill Lila? Because if it wasn’t Richard then…’

Riley shook his head soberly and Charlie looked morose. ‘No and it’s driving me crazy. She’s driving me crazy too; she doesn’t want to believe it was Richard Carnegie but at the same time, now she doesn’t want extra protection. She let Carnegie’s security go, you know?’

‘And you’re frightened that someone will get to her?’

Charlie sighed. ‘Look, truth. I still think it was Carnegie. I think he knew their relationship was rocky, that his family adored Lila, that the only way out that he didn’t look like the bad guy was if she were murdered by some stalker. He may not have wielded that knife but I’ll bet my life that he knew who did.’

‘And you have proof of that, detective?’

All three of them started at the voice behind them. Harrison Carnegie stared at them with unfriendly eyes. ‘My brother is dead. His fiancée does not believe in any way he could do that to her and she’s right. Richard wasn’t capable of the kind of violence it takes to stab an innocent woman fourteen times in the belly. He wasn’t capable of violence, period.’

Harry’s eyes met Tinsley’s for the briefest second then he turned and stalked out. The three of them were frozen for a second then Tinsley darted out from behind the bar and after Harry.

Outside, she glanced around quickly and found him walking quickly down the block.

‘Harry! Wait!’

He didn’t stop and she found herself running down the block after him. He reached the corner just as she grabbed his arm. ‘Harry, please, wait, we didn’t mean anything. We're just worried about Lila, is all.’

Harry stopped and she took her hand from his arm. He looked down at her, his eyes full of conflict. ‘He was my brother, you know?’

Tinsley nodded. ‘I do know, and for what it’s worth, I’m with Lila. I hung out with Richard long enough to know that he was a good guy. If he wanted to break up with her, he would have. This was some other crazy.’ She half-smiled. ‘Lila does have a tendency to attract them. It’s that face and body of hers, it drives men wild.’

Harry smiled softly. ‘She’s a beauty, alright, but then so are you.’

‘Sweet talker.’

Harry gave a loud, genuine laugh then. ‘It’s true. Look, I’m sorry I got the wrong impression; I just thought you guys were dumping on my brother.’

Tinsley felt a little uncomfortable then decided the truth was the best way to go with this guy. ‘In all honesty…I think Charlie always had a problem with Richard. Charlie and Lila grew up together, they protect each other like siblings, and they fight each other like siblings. They were street kids, you know? So Charlie isn’t impressed with wealth. I believe he was of the opinion that Richard thought he could buy Lila.’

‘Again, Rich – ‘

‘Oh I know. Richard proved himself over and over but, hey, you know…Lila’s Charlie’s responsibility – at least that's what he thinks.’

Harry nodded. ‘Got it.’ He sighed, looked around at the busy streets. ‘Look, I don’t particularly want to go back to that bar but what say I meet you for drinks tonight somewhere else?’

Tinsley smiled. ‘That sounds great; I was hoping you’d stop by. I guess this means you’re going back to Melbourne soon?’

Harry gazed down at her, her bright, blue eyes so kind and warm, a faint flush of pink on her cheeks, her hair all mussed up from working. Something shifted inside him and he found himself smiling back at her. Tentatively, he stroked her cheek – just a tiny movement but their gazes locked – and held.

‘Soon but not just yet. I’d like to see you…what say Mona’s at eight?’

Tinsley grinned widely and Harry felt his cock twitch, aroused by her loveliness. He could imagine taking her in his arms, her lithe body curving around his, her small breasts against his chest…

‘I’ll be there…look, I have to get back or Riley will have drunk the profits. See you tonight.’

With a wave, she was gone, darting quickly away from him and disappearing into the crowds.

Don’t get too involved, Harry told himself, it’s a nightmare waiting to happen.

But he walked back to his hotel with the biggest smile on his face.

Lila sat on the edge of the bathtub in her new apartment and closed her eyes. She counted three minutes out in seconds, carefully not thinking about anything else but the seconds ticking by. Definitely not thinking about what she thought was happening to her; the days and days of sickness and pain. Definitely not thinking about what she would do. And most of all, definitely not thinking about what it could mean to every single relationship in her life.

One-hundred-and-eighty-seconds. Done. She opened her eyes and looked down at the small plastic stick on her bathroom cabinet.

Oh shit. Oh shit.

Noah had been in New York for two days and hadn’t found her. If he was being honest, he didn’t even know where to begin looking for her. Well, that wasn’t exactly true; there was one way but he’d exhaust every other option before he got in contact with Charlie Sherman. Although he’d had very little contact with the man, his fierce big brother stance made Noah wary of going to him. What would he say? Oh, hey man, just checking in on my old patient…Sherman would see through that immediately and his guard would go up. No, there must be some other way.

Noah had a few friends here, some connected with his family. Maybe one of them had an ‘in’ with the Carnegies? Now you’re thinking, he told himself, ‘let’s do this.’

Now that Lila lived only a couple of blocks from the bar, Tinsley could go there after work and see her friend. She handed over to Mikey now and snagged her bag from the backroom.

‘Going to see Lila,’ she hollered as she left.

‘Give her my love,’ Mikey shouted back and Tinsley grinned. They were her little family away from home. When Lila had been stabbed, Tinsley had been heartbroken, scared, and she visited Lila almost as much as the Carnegie family. They were such a sweet family that she felt immediately at ease with them. And now there was Harry Carnegie…

Just friends, she told herself firmly. Just two Aussies going out to bond over their homeland. Yeah, Harry wasn’t really an Aussie but fifteen years in the country – she reckoned that counted. And it truly, truly had nothing to do with his warm brown eyes, his broad shouldered body, and those big, gentle hands. Nope, nothing.

When she got to Lila’s building, she rode the elevator up to the third floor and made her way to Lila’s apartment. She carried a bottle of tequila Mikey had given her, and she wore a huge smile as Lila opened the door, which faded when she saw Lila in tears.

‘Hey, hey, honey, what’s the matter?’

Lila burst into fresh sobs and Tinsley couldn’t make out a word she was saying. She wrapped her arms around Lila, kicking the door shut behind her. She steered Lila towards the couch and let her cry herself out.

‘Ssh, ssh, just tell me, what’s wrong?’

Lila, her face awash with salty tears, looked at her with desperate, hopeless eyes. ‘Oh god, Tinsley…I have fucked up. I have fucked up royally and I don’t know what to do…’

As she cried, Tinsley hugged her tightly, her own heart thumping. Whatever it was, it had scared the crap out of Lila and Tinsley wondered if it was something she could come back from, or if her friend really was in trouble…

‘Dr. Applebaum?’

Noah turned to see the tiny redhead looking up at him. Cora Carnegie. He smiled. ‘Hello, again, Cora, how lovely to see you.’

His face remained smooth but inside, his heart began to thump expectantly. What if Lila were here too? He’d felt bad, finagling a last minute invitation to brunch as the guest of some of his parent’s oldest friends but they had warmly welcomed him, showered him with questions about the older Applebaum’s, and the food was incredible, piles upon piles of fresh baked pastries, fresh fruit, scrambled eggs with truffles scattered liberally on top of them. Noah had started to enjoy the gathering almost separately from his plan but now; Cora Carnegie was standing in front of him.’ She was even thinner than he remembered, the skin of her face pulled taut, her eyes almost sunken. Noah’s heart went out to the young woman. ‘I was so sorry to hear about your brother,’ he said in a soft tone, ‘I can’t begin to imagine what it’s been like. How are your mother – and Lila?’

He hoped his question didn’t sound desperate but Cora didn’t pick up on his eagerness. ‘Mom’s okay, getting through it. She’s here, somewhere, I know she’d love to see you. What are you doing in New York?’

Where’s Lila? Where’s Lila? ‘Just here for a few days seeing old friends,’ He nodded to the hosts, ‘my parent’s best friends, really. Have you eaten?’ He stopped himself from telling her she should but she nodded.

‘Like a horse,’ she smiled suddenly, ‘I know you doctors – but don’t worry, this,’ she gestured to her slender body, ‘is just from stress. It always happens when something awful happens; I just can’t keep weight on. But I promise you, I do eat.’

Noah smiled ruefully. ‘Sorry, it’s none of my business. Talking of doctoring,’ - Ugh, dude, really? That’s the best segue you can come up with? – ‘How’s my actual patient? Lila?’

Cora’s smile faded. ‘We don’t know.’

Noah frowned. ‘What do you mean?’ Cora looked as if she were about to cry and Noah gently steered her into an outer room. ‘Sit down, sweetheart. Here’ some water.’ He found a pitcher and poured her a glass. She sipped it, smiling at him gratefully.

‘I’m sorry, Dr. Applebaum.’

‘I’m not on duty, Cora, call me Noah.’

‘Noah,’ she said shyly and sighed. ‘It happened about a week ago. Her friend, Tinsley…did you meet her?’ Noah shook his head, his heart thumping with rising panic. ‘Well, Tinsley went to her apartment and Lila was crying and rambling about how she had ‘fucked something up’ and that it was really bad and she didn’t know what to do. Tinsley tried to talk to her, find out what was going on but Lila wouldn’t say, just kept saying she had screwed things up so bad.’

Noah’s heart was beating out of his chest. ‘So what happened next?’

Cora leaned forward, hugging her arms around herself as if her stomach hurt. ‘Tinsley said that all of a sudden, Lila just got calm – I mean, way too calm for how upset she’d been. Told Tinsley she loved her but she needed to be alone now. So Tinsley left – oh, and went on a date with my brother but that’s another story – and the next day, Mom and I went to see Lila – and the apartment was empty. I mean empty, empty. She’d asked the super to let us in if we wanted and we found a note.’

This was not good. ‘What did it say?’

Cora hesitated and then reached for her clutch. ‘Read it. I can’t stop looking at it.’ She handed him a letter. It was written on a heavy cream, obviously expensive paper, and Noah couldn’t help be thrilled at Lila’s scrawling handwriting.

Dear…Everyone,

I am so sorry about this but I can’t think of anything else to do but go away. From New York, from all of you. Know that I love you all, so, so much and I will forever be grateful for your love and your generosity.

I did something I can’t undo. Please don’t worry, it’s not illegal or life-threatening but I have to do it alone. Maybe one day, I’ll be brave enough to tell you.

Please, don’t try to find me.

I love you all,

Lila

Noah reread the letter three times. ‘There was a separate letter for Charlie but it was in a sealed envelope. He hasn’t told us what it said.’

Of course not. Not for the first time, Noah felt irritated with Charlie Sherman. At the same time…Charlie had known Lila for much, much longer than he had – and how well did he, Noah, know Lila anyway? One fuck does not make you soulmates. But the way he felt about her….

‘Noah? You look upset?’

Shit. He smiled at Cora. ‘I’m just concerned. It’s only a few months since she was stabbed; she shouldn’t be on her own. If there are complications…’ He trailed off, realizing he wasn’t helping Cora’s anxiety. ‘Look, she’s an adult, I’m sure she’s fine. Sometimes people just need space. Let’s hope that’s all it is.’

Cora nodded, again tears were threatening. ‘Dr.….Noah, would you stay in touch? I feel better talking to you; the rest of us are way too close to her.’

If only you knew. Noah nodded. ‘Of course.’

Later, Noah drove around to where Cora said Lila’s old apartment was and parked outside, looking up at the darkened windows. Where are you? He felt like a stalker, flying across a continent for a woman he’d slept with once. What the fuck am I doing? He started the car and drove back to his hotel. Forget her. You don’t want this drama.

Except when, later, he lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, all he could think about was Lila. That day, in his rehab studio, when she’d made it clear she wanted him; there had not been a doubt in his mind that making love to her was all he wanted. And the feel of her skin under his fingertips, the softness of her thighs around his waist as he moved inside her…

‘For the love of God!’ He rolled onto his side and gazed out of the window at the night. ‘Where are you?’

Don’t try to find me. Well, Lila, you didn’t write that note to me so, beautiful, I can ignore your wishes.

I will find you…

‘Okay. Let’s try this again…third time lucky.’ Harry grinned at Tinsley as they sat in the small cocktail bar. Tinsley laughed, shaking her head ruefully. Their first date – sort of date – was a washout. After she’d been with a distraught Lila, Tinsley had been distracted and subdued. At the end of the date, he’d driven her home and she’d apologized profusely.

A couple of days later, unable to get her out of his head, he called again and now, smiling at her, he tapped her glass with his.

‘I promise, this time, no annoying cop friends andno freaking out over Lila,’ she said.

‘Still not heard from her?’

Tinsley shook her head. ‘She doesn’t want to be found and I respect that. I miss her, of course, we all do, but she’s doing what she needs to do.’

Harry took a slug of his beer. ‘Can I be honest? I’m a little pissed at her. I don’t think she realizes what her taking off has done to my family, especially Cora. My sister is fragile and she loves Lila like a sister.’

Tinsley nodded. ‘I know. Lila’s not perfect, by any stretch but because, most of the time, she’s so level she gets tarred with that brush. Don’t judge her too harshly; she’s been through hell.’

Harry sighed. ‘In that case…why don’t we change the subject? I want to know about you, Tinsley.’

Tinsley grinned. ‘What do you want to know?’

‘Everything. Family?’

‘Mum, dad, two older brothers called Tyler and Joseph. Both are a pain in my ass but I begrudgingly love them.’ Her smile said it was more than begrudging love. ‘They’re typical surfer types; really, if you described a stereotypical surfer dude, that’s Ty and Joe.’

‘What about you?’

‘Went to college near home, came here to start art school. Dropped out when I got interested in managing a bar instead. Mikey sold me half the business last year. I love it.’

Harry nodded. ‘That’s great, finding your dream.’

Tinsley nodded. ‘I know it’s not everyone’s dream but I love the life. I’m a night owl, and a people person, I love meeting new people. Hell, I even enjoy a good bar brawl.’

Harry grinned. ‘Suddenly I’m having flashbacks to the wild west.’

Tinsley chuckled. ‘Red Dead Redemption, actually.’

‘You game?’

She nodded. ‘You?’

Harry looked embarrassed. ‘The whole thing passed me by, if I’m honest.’

‘So what’s your dream?’

He smiled. ‘Building boats and by that, I mean catamarans, sail boats, that type. Getting my hands covered in varnish, and jammed full of splinters from good wood.’

Tinsley’s eyes were wide. ‘That, I wasn’t expecting.’

Harry grinned. ‘What were you expecting?’

‘Well, just, you know, your brother was more about the bling – not over the top and crass, but as much as he tried to hide it, Rich liked his cars, and his penthouse and his Saville Row suits. You seem to be the plaid wearing step-child,’ she added with a wicked grin.

Harry laughed. ‘Is that the hipster version of the redheaded-stepchild?’

‘It is, except you’re not a hipster.’

‘Thank god. Well, I guess, me and Rich had a lot of differences. He was more spontaneous. I like the slow burn.’

It wasn’t intended, but at his words, their eyes met and held. Tinsley’s cheeks colored a little but she raised her chin and her sapphire eyes twinkled. ‘You do, huh?’

God, she’s delicious. ‘Yes, ma’am.’

She smiled as she sipped her drink. ‘I like that.’

He reached out and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand and she leaned into his touch. ‘Tinsley…I had all sorts of reservations about getting involved with someone. I still have those reservations. I can’t promise anything…I want to go back to Australia; it pulls me back, constantly, something deep in me. But I like you. A lot.’

She nodded. ‘I understand, I really do. I’ve never done long-term, not even with Charlie. I’m not sure I’m able to do commitment. But I can do fun.’

Harry smiled. ‘We’re on the same page.’

A small smile played around her lips. ‘Almost. I’m a contradiction. I don’t sleep with anyone on the first date.’

Harry chuckled. ‘This is our third date.’

‘The first two were disasters, they don’t count,’ she waved her hand dismissively and he laughed loudly.

Tinsley leaned forward, and with a finger, traced a line down his inner thigh, slowly, lightly, until she placed her palm over his groin. Harry felt his cock respond but he smiled lazily at her as she cupped him through his jeans.

‘I’m looking forward to seeing more of you,’ she said, ‘but forgive me if I want to explore that slow burn.’ She removed her hand, and threw back the rest of her drink. ‘Pick me up tomorrow, my place. We’ll see if that slow burn is more of a flash burn.’

She winked at an astonished Harry and walked away. He watched the sway of her hips as she sauntered out of the bar, the way she looked back at him and grinned. Confident. Sexy.

He was looking forward to the next night. Flash burn indeed…

San Juan Island, Washington State

Was it stupid, coming back here? Was it too obvious, would they come looking? Lila had avoided – painfully – going back to Seattle so she picked a place up on San Juan Island, somewhere where she could walk around without being recognized but was still close enough to civilization. She wanted to be alone, not isolated.

Alone. Did she really want that or was she in Washington State because at least this way, she could be near to Noah. You’ll drive yourself crazy, she remonstrated with herself. Stop thinking about him. Noah Applebaum was not an option. Not now.

She sat on the porch of the little cottage she’d rented, that looked out over the Haro Straight. There was a decent bit of land with the property which she loved – privacy. Every morning since she had come here, she had taken her breakfast out on the porch, sitting at the small wrought iron table with her cereal and her tea. It was so quiet, so serene. She would periodically see orca in the water, marveling at their graceful movement despite their size.

It was almost heavenly. She sighed now, placing her hand over her belly, still not quite believing that a tiny being was inside there. Noah’s baby. The day she had found out, she had flipped, lost it. It couldn’t be, not now, not with all this going on – what the hell would she tell the Carnegie’s? Oh hi, yeah, we’ve just buried your son and my fiancé but guess what? I’m having my doctor’s baby! Surprise!

‘Jeez,’ she said to herself, cringing. Tinsley had happened upon her when she was in the middle of her meltdown but Lila didn’t tell her about the baby. She just shut down on her and Tinsley, obviously hurt, had tried to be a friend. When the realization hit that the only way to handle this was to leave, Lila’s mind had calmed, had stilled and she’d calmly and politely asked Tinsley to go. Lila felt a pang now; Tinsley was a good friend and she deserved better than the brush off she got.

Lila absentmindedly stroked her non-existent bump and wondered if she could risk emailing Tinsley to apologize. Get a temporary email address then delete it after she’d sent the mail. She couldn’t risk discovery, not by Tinsley, not by the Carnegies and not by Charlie.

And definitely not by the stranger who’d broken into her house that night. Every time she thought about it, she was surer someone had been in her apartment while she was asleep in the bath. When she’d gotten out of the freezing cold bath, wrapping a towel around her nakedness, she’d grabbed a full shampoo bottle to use as a weapon and marched with purpose around the whole apartment. Nothing. No-one.

But her things were moved. Her laptop, which she was certain had been shut off, was on, the browser open. She’d looked closer then recoiled with a gasp. Horrific images of murdered women, all of them stabbed.

Then she got mad. She stalked around the apartment again, this time armed with her own knife, checking every possible place a person could be. When she was satisfied, she let out a scream of rage.

She remembered that scream now; it had been a howl of anger, fear, and utter exhaustion. Whoever stabbed her still wanted her dead, that was clear.

So getting away was a no-brainer. Lila breathed in a lungful of cold, fresh, clean air and wondered what to do next. For once, she was glad of Rich’s money, that it gave her breathing space to work out what to do next. She wanted to completely remodel this house, get it ready for the baby. The baby’s room was the one room she would not spend Rich’s money; she just couldn’t do it. Not for another man’s baby.

So she would need a job. Minimum wage, stacking groceries until she was too big – she could do that. She would do that.

‘You and me now, beanpod,’ she said softly then went inside to change.

Noah pressed his lips against her throat, his big hands sliding around her back and stroking the soft skin. God I missed you…

The way she whispered his name as he stroked her thighs, pulling them around his waist and slipping his hand between her legs to stroke her sex, feeling the warmth, the dampness as she gasped at his touch. Lila…

Her violet eyes shone with love for him as his cock, so huge, so heavy, drilled deep into her ready cunt, her sharp intake of breath as he filled her, the friction between them driving them both wild as he moved in and out of her, their lips hungry against the others. Noah braced his hands either side of her head and slammed his hips against hers until she was moaning and coming and she looked so, so beautiful that he came over and over and over…

Noah stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom. Every night he lay here awake, unable to sleep, remonstrating with himself. You slept with the woman once. That’s it. Stop obsessing.

But it was the fact that she was missing that bothered him. Cora had told him that it wasn’t anything sinister but he couldn’t help but worry. Someone had tried to kill her before now; who’s to say he – or she – wouldn’t find her again and they would never know, never be able to protect Lila from her killer.

Damn it, Lila, why’d you make my life so damn complicated? Noah shook his head. He’d never taken advantage of his family’s wealth and connections much before, but earlier today, he’d called the private investigators his father used and set them on a countrywide search for Lila. Invasion of privacy? Maybe, but if they found her, he’d instructed them not to make themselves known to her, to keep a distance. Then he would make his decision as to how to approach her. Jeez, what a mess.

He couldn’t get an image of Lila’s murdered, mutilated body out of his mind. Please, god let me find her before he does…

With that thought screaming through his mind, Noah flicked the lamp off and tried to go to sleep.

Manhattan

Harry was early. Tinsley grinned at him as she opened the door, her hair still wet from the shower, the zipper on the back of her dress still undone. Harry raised his eyebrows at her.

‘Sorry, I got home from work late, could you zip me up, please?’

Harry laughed. ‘Sure thing…’ He let his fingertips drift up her spine before he pulled the zipper up and she shivered with pleasure. She turned around and slid her arms around his waist.

‘Thank you.’

He smoothed the damp hair away from her face and pressed his lips to hers. ‘My pleasure,’ he murmured, breathing in her clean, soapy scent. ‘Although I’d rather be taking it off entirely.’

Tinsley chuckled quietly. ‘Anticipation is the name of the game tonight, Mr Carnegie. Lots of kissing first…kissing and food, because I am starving.’

They both laughed. ‘What are you in the mood for?’

‘Hamburgers,’ she said immediately, ‘all flame-grilled and juicy.’ She made the words sound so filthy he gave a little growl and she laughed. She slid her hand over his demin-clad cock. ‘Patience. It’ll be worth it, I promise.’ She grabbed his hand and put it under her dress. His cool fingers found hot bare skin. No underwear. Harry groaned and buried his face in her neck.

‘Tinsley Chang, I swear you’ll be the death of me.’

She grinned. ‘Harry…I swear, tonight will be the best of your life. Are you up for adventure? Whatever it is?’

Harry nodded. ‘Whatever it is.’

They ate at a local burger place, family-run, huge sandwiches, thin but incredibly tasty patties smothered in mustard, mayo, pickle and lettuce. The sauces dripped down their fingers and made a mess but they didn’t care. There was something so carnal, so sensual about the way they ate them, licking their fingers so suggestively that they both ended up laughing. Afterward, they went to a low key bar and drank mojitos.

‘I feel like I wanted to ask you more about your life, but tonight doesn’t feel like the right time.’

She nodded. ‘Tonight is all about the physical, Mr Carnegie.’

Really, he’d never met a woman so unaffected, so confident in her sexiness. It drove him wild.

‘So what do you like? Are you a straight up missionary girl….wait, I think I know the answer to that.’

Tinsley sipped her drink. ‘Harry, I don’t believe in limitations or labels. I don’t believe in holding back. If I want someone, and they want me, why pretend to follow social norms that say a woman should be coquettish or pretend to a reservation she doesn’t feel. That just gets in the way of a good fuck.’

Harry raised his glass to her. ‘I’ll drink to that.’

She grinned. ‘I bet you do. Harry…where’s the wildest place you’ve had sex?’

He considered. ‘Probably under the bleachers of my college football field.’

‘Is that it? Was it during a game?’

Harry grinned sheepishly. ‘Nope, sorry. How about you?’

Tinsley took a long moment before she answered. ‘There’s a club I go to sometimes.’

Harry caught her tone and grinned. ‘Oh, ‘a club’.’

She laughed. ‘Yes, and it’s exactly what you think it is, but it’s a safe space to…try new things.’

‘Like?’

‘Bondage.’ She studied his eyes for his reaction but he returned her gaze steadily. ‘It depends what you’re into, of course.’

‘And you’ve tried out everything the club has to offer?’

Suddenly her smile widened into a face-splitting grin. ‘Nope, not once but I thought I’d try and freak you out.’

They both laughed then, Harry shaking his head. ‘Woman, I tell you, when we get out of here, I’ll make you pay for that.’

‘Sounds promising.’ Her eyes dropped deliberately to his crotch then back to to his eyes. Harry growled.

‘Damn, when you look at me like that...’

Tinsley got up suddenly and held out her hand to him. ‘Come with me.’

Ten minutes later they were on the top of her building, looking out over the lights of New York City. Harry caught his breath. So beautiful…the city glittered below them and now, as he turned to face her, those lights were reflected in Tinsley’s blue eyes.

‘God, but you’re beautiful,’ he murmured and gathered her to him. As they kissed, his hands roamed over her body; her own fingers went to the button of his jeans.

As she freed his engorged and throbbing cock from his jeans, he slid his hands under her dress and pushed her up, lifting her in one easy movement. He pressed her back against a concrete wall and thrust into her damp and ready cunt. He gave a shivery moan as he heard her gasp. ‘I’m going to fuck you long and hard, pretty girl,’ he growled into her ear and heard her shaky, almost breathless laugh. He thrust deep and long, right to the core of her, again and again and again, his cock wanting more and more of this feeling, his senses exploding. Tinsley wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping eye contact with him, forging a connection. Her lips were rough against his, her fingers twisting in his hair, her nails dragging along his scalp with a feral intensity.

‘God…Harry…more…’ His hips increased their pace, his cock thickening inside her, stretching the tight muscles of her vagina as he pounded into her. They both came too quickly, Harry groaning as his thick, white semen pumped deep into her belly; Tinsley gasping and moaning as he used his hand to tease her clit, her entire body vibrating with pleasure.

They stayed connected as they caught their breath. ‘Wow, oh, wow,’ Tinsley managed to gasp as she grinned at him. ‘That was incredible.’

Harry chuckled, kissing her deeply, his cock already stiffening again inside her. ‘I could do this all night…and guess what? That’s exactly what we’re going to do.’

Tinsley threw her head back and laughed. ‘I’m in.’

Harry grinned wickedly. ‘Actually,’ and he began to move in and out of her again, ‘I’m the one who’s in.’

‘God, you’re delicious,’ she whispered, kissing him then as her excitement grew again, she closed her eyes. ‘Yes…just like that, yes….yes…’

They ended up back at her place, fucking on the floor, the bed, in the shower. At four am., finally sated and exhausted, they made their way to the diner at the corner of her street and had pancakes and syrup. Harry, his free hand covering hers, smiled at her. ‘You working tomorrow?’

She shook her head. ‘Day off. Why?’

‘No reason. Just wanted to see if you felt like fucking for a full twenty-four hours?’

She giggled at his cheeky expression. ‘Who wouldn’t with you?’

Harry thanked her. ‘You’re incredible. I gotta say…never had it so good.’

‘Right back atcha – but don’t tell Charlie that,’ she rolled her eyes and chuckled.

Harry scooped a forkful of pancakes into his mouth. ‘Why did you and he break up?’

Tinsley’s smile faded a little. ‘Charlie is a great guy, heart of gold, very protective. Too protective for my liking. I’m a free-wheeler, Harry, it’s in my blood. I don’t do commitment, I don’t do being asked where I am all day.’ She sighed. ‘I understand why Charlie was extra-protective given what happened to Lila, but it brought us into conflict. In the end I had to sit him down and explain my…ethos, I suppose you would call it. I live, I love but I am my own person.’

Harry was nodding with understanding. ‘I think that’s fair. So you decided…?’

‘We’d be friends and I’m so grateful that we are still friends. I know your brother and Charlie didn’t always get on, but I swear….I wish I could find a way to set him up with someone who deserves him.’

‘Momma Bear.’

Tinsley grinned. ‘Definitely not a mama. Kids aren’t in my plan.’ She looked at him as if expecting him to protest but he nodded.

‘That’s fair enough. Not entirely sure I want them myself. Not got to that point in life yet. What?’ He asked when she chuckled...

‘No, nothing, except it’s just woman are expected, almost as soon as we hit puberty, to address the question: do you want children? And the reason is always given – because the clock is ticking. Men never have to worry about the ticking clock or the expectations that a woman will always – even secretly – want a child. When we say we don’t, there’s always a counter-argument – Oh, you’ll want one eventually. Well, not me. I don’t hate kids; I just don’t want one of my own.’ She looked at his face and grinned. ‘Sorry, bug bear of mine.’

‘Completely valid. I get it too…I’m not one for commitment or the saccharin stuff. Tinsley, you’re beautiful and sexy and I love spending time with you. I love fucking you. No strings.’

‘Word, brother,’ she tapped her coffee mug against his. ‘Now, if you’ve finished eating, I think you’d better take me back to bed.’

He watched them as they left the diner. He’d started following the blonde woman, knowing she was Lila’s best friend, wondering whether she knew where Lila was. He’d been prepared to get the information out of her with violence, if necessary. And now he discovered she was banging Richard Carnegie’s brother. ‘All getting a little incestuous,’ he murmured. Still, she would be alone at some point then he would get to her.

He was absolutely sure his knife would make her tell him everything, and then when she did, he would silence her forever.

San Juan Island, Washington State

Lila sat happily at the register of the bookstore. She had been expecting to score a job at the farmer’s market or the grocery store but when she’d come into the bookstore three months ago, trying to find something new to read, she’d seen the ‘Assistant wanted’ notice and eagerly applied.

Now she was settled here. The bookshop was owned by Ronnie and Flynn, partners in business and love, who were built like loggers and yet possessed the sweetest natures of anyone she’d ever met. They’d just adopted twin daughters and Lila watched the two men dote on the girls. They’d hired her to run the bookshop, impressed by her literary knowledge, and she found they stepped back from the business more and more. She didn’t care; she loved it here, talking with customers about books, making recommendations. She even loved cleaning and tidying the place. It was a haven. The whole island was, and she’d found herself relaxing here, her mind finally peaceful after the months of turmoil. The island had a terrific medical center with warm and efficient staff and she liked her obstetrician, Dr. Low, very much. The young Chinese woman had told her what she could expect during her pregnancy, and had advised her on any extra precautions she should take because of the damage to her belly due to the stabbing.

‘You’ll probably find your scars itch a lot so plenty of cream. Internally, well, we’ll have to see. You’re still tender, your muscles still weakened. But I’ll keep a close eye on you. I take it the pregnancy wasn’t planned?’

Lila had shaken her head but now, as she thought back, she found herself wondering. She had not even for a second, considered an abortion. She was absolutely pro-choice, but when it came to this baby…would she have felt the same if it had been anyone else’s child but Noah Applebaum’s? Even Richard’s?

She asked herself over and over why she couldn’t get Noah out of her head. She reasoned with herself but there it was – unfinished business. She wrestled whether to tell him about the baby and found herself confiding in Ronnie and Flynn, asking them what she should do.

‘We can’t tell you that, honey, but the man deserves a shot at whether or not to be involved.’

Lila chewed her lip. ‘It was a one-time thing though.’

Flynn rolled his eyes. ‘But you’re crazy about him, anyone can see that. Just go be with him.’

Lila sighed. ‘It’s not that easy. Firstly; I have no idea if he feels the same way or if I was just a one-time thing. Second – my fiancé was just murdered. It’s bad enough I’m having another man’s baby….god, what a fucking mess.’

She thought about that conversation now, grateful to Ronnie and Flynn for their honesty but it was still unresolved in her mind. Now she was nearly five months along, her belly softly curved outwards, small but still noticeable. She was surprised the baby was so small; with Noah’s height she figured it would be a monster but no, her little bean was just that. Little. She stroked a hand down her belly. Now; whatever happened, she was already attached to the little critter. No turning back now, she smiled to herself.

The bookshop was quiet today. The weather had turned rainy and cool, and the sky was black with storm clouds. Lila was checking a new delivery, scanning the books into the shop’s computer system and pricing them. So absorbed was she, she barely heard the shop door open, the small bell chiming.

‘Hi.’

She froze and her breathe caught in her throat. No, not like this. She grabbed hold of the counter in front of her, shifting slightly so the box of books was a wall in front of her. Protection. Deflection. She took a breath in and looked up.

Noah Applebaum stood in front of her, impossibly handsome in his sweater and jeans, a smile that reached his green eyes. His dark hair was a little longer than she remembered, and he was taller too, wasn’t he? Yep, that’s the stuff to focus on now, you idiot. She stared back at him.

‘Noah…what are you doing here?’

His smile didn’t fade. ‘Why do you think? I tried to get in contact with you in New York after Richard died but Cora told me you’d done a vanishing act. Then, the other day, a patient of mine was telling me how she’d seen this very beautiful young woman in the bookshop where she lived, and that she seemed familiar. She’d remembered about the bridal store stabbing in New York, remembered your face from the photos.’

Lila’s eyes narrowed. ‘What else did she tell you?’

Noah looked confused. ‘Huh? Nothing, just that.’

‘You’re lying.’

That shook him. He obviously had expected a warmer welcome than the one she was giving him. ‘What? No, I…’

‘If the woman exists, she would have told you something else about me. Something big. Noah…how did you find me?’

He opened his mouth to protest, then had the grace to look ashamed. ‘I’m sorry; I didn’t want to freak you. I thought if I played it like it was a coincidence, a passing remark, it would sound better than I hired a detective to find you. Several in fact.’

Lila closed her eyes. ‘Oh, god…’

‘Lila, I’m sorry, I was just so concerned. Whoever stabbed you is still out there, I wanted to know you were safe. And I wanted to see you. Of course, I wanted to see you.’

Lila felt like crying. One side of her wanted to run into his arms but the other, the rational side, was irritated and frightened and god…so many emotions. She clutched the box of books in front of her. ‘I think you should go,’ she whispered. ‘I can’t do this.’

She hated the hurt in his eyes. ‘Noah…things have changed. I’m not engaged but I’m not free either. As much as I…’ she trailed off and just looked at him. He was everything she wanted, desperately wanted. The time they had spent together when she was in hospital had been incredible. The connection they had forged, nothing like she had experienced before. She adored everything about this man; his intellect, his goofy sense of humor, the pattern of moles on his right cheek which looked like the Big Dipper. She had felt most safe when her skin was next to his and yet now, standing less than a few feet away from him, she had never been more terrified.

You have to do this; you have to tell him why. It’s only fair.

‘Noah, I…’ her voice cracked and he stepped forward to comfort her. She shook her head and he stopped. ‘Noah,’ she began again, string this time, ‘there’s something I need to tell you. A big thing.’

He gave her a crooked smile. ‘The big thing my imaginary patient would have noticed?’

She didn’t return his smile. ‘Know that I…didn’t want to burden you.’

He was confused now. ‘Whatever it is, Lila, please, just tell me.’

Lila hesitated for a long moment, and then with a big intake of breath, she stepped around the counter and finally faced him, her hand on the small bump in her abdomen.

Noah stared back at her in disbelief.

Manhattan

Riley Kinsayle didn’t have his usual smile on his face as Tinsley greeted him that evening. ‘’Sup, dude?’

She pushed a beer towards him but he waved it away. ‘Charlie’s in the hospital.’

Tinsley was shocked. ‘What? How?’

‘He took a beat down by some junkies on a bust that went FUBAR. Doc’s say he’ll be okay but, god, Tins…’

Riley looked so shaken that she rounded the bar and hugged him. ‘God, that’s horrible. Which hospital is he in? I’ll go see him.’

Riley told her. ‘But leave it until tomorrow; they’re only letting police in at the moment.’

Tinsley sighed and rubbed her eyes. ‘God, I thought all this violence was over and done with. Was it a bust gone bad?’ She indicated the hot coffee pot and Riley nodded gratefully.

As she passed him the drink, he took a long sip, obviously not caring if the hot liquid burnt his mouth. ‘Nope, Charlie was following a lead on Lila’s attacker. He must have gotten too close.’

Tinsley’s eyes widened. ‘Wow. Oh wow.’

Riley studied her, his dark eyes searching her face as he drank some more coffee. He put the cup down. ‘Tinsley…he was asking for Lila.’

‘What?’ Tinsley felt like she might cry. Riley sighed.

‘Tins, if you know anything about where she is…tell me. Please. She’ll want to know about Charlie and he needs her now, like never before. Please.’

Tinsley sighed. ‘Riley, I honestly don’t know where Lila is. I did get one email from her, telling me she was sorry for disappearing but it was for the best. When I tried to reply, the message bounced back.’

Riley chewed over this information. ‘Do you still have her email?’

Tinsley nodded. ‘Good,’ Riley said, ‘then maybe we could trace where it came from. Huh. Ironically, the Carnegie software would probably do it for us and – ‘

‘Riley, no. She doesn’t deserve to have her privacy violated like that, it’s not right.’

‘Her best friend has just been attacked, Tinsley.’ Riley’s voice had an uncharacteristic tone – angry, full of blame and she whirled around, irritated herself.

‘I know that but it’s not Lila’s fault, is it?’

Riley dug in his pockets for some cash for the coffee, shaking his head, obviously pissed. ‘Tins, I want you to know that you could be charged with impeding an investigation.’

‘The hell I am – Lila didn’t beat up Charlie, did she?’

Riley slammed the money on the bar and walked out.

San Juan Island, Washington State

Noah stared at Lila’s belly for the longest time then slowly he met her gaze, his eyes cold. ‘Is it mine?’

Lila’s hands were sweating and her heart thudded heavily against her ribs. ‘Of course it is,’ she whispered. ‘There’s been no-one else since that time.’

‘That one time,’ he said. Almost in disbelief.

‘Are you angry?’

He shook his head. ‘Not that you’re pregnant, Lila, no, I’m not angry about that.’ He stepped towards her, his eyes full of hurt. ‘But I am angry that you kept it from me. That’s my child too.’

‘We had one day together, Noah. I didn’t want to dump this in your lap, especially not after everything, and it’s not like we were in a relationship to begin with. And I had to consider the Carnegie’s in this too. How do you think they would have felt? Me pregnant with another man’s baby when their son, my fiancé, has just been killed?’

Noah stared at her, shaking his head. ‘The only person who matters here is our child, Lila. You’re keeping it?’

‘Of course.’ Her voice broke then and tears dropped down her cheeks. He raised his arms to hold her but she backed off. ‘No, please, don’t touch me. Noah, I am sorry but as far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing to be talked about.’

Noah lost it then. ‘You cannot do this, Lila, that’s my child! Don’t you think I want to be involved with his or her life? Help to raise them. I want…’

‘What? What do you want, Noah?’

He stopped mid-rant. ‘I want you, Lila. I want you and our baby.’

Lila closed her eyes. She had dreamed of hearing these exact words – just not like this. ‘Noah, I can’t. I just can’t. I’m scared that if we try – and fail – losing you would break me. And, even though I feel something real and tangible for you, we still don’t know each other that well.’

‘Bullshit,’ he said fiercely, ‘I do know you. I know you love with your whole heart. I know that when you sleep, you favor your left side, sleep with one hand under your face. I know you like orange Jello and also the lime. I know that I would walk through fire to see you happy and safe…’

Lila gave a sob, and in a flash, Noah had locked the door to the shop and pulled down the shade, coming to take her in his arms. She didn’t resist.

‘Lila, sweetheart, I can’t get you out of my head. I had to find you, tell you how much you mean to me. Try to see if we could make a go of it together. It wasn’t a one night stand for me, Lila; it was the beginning of something else. And now I know that’s true. Look, I’ll transfer to the medical center here, rent somewhere, so that if you need me, I’ll be here. Always. I won’t ask you to make a commitment to me, just let me be around, involved.’

She looked up at him through tear filled eyes, searching his clear green eyes for clues to how he really felt. All she saw was hurt – and love.

‘Noah…’

His lips crushed against hers, hunger, pain in his kiss and his arms wound tightly around her body. Her hands slid onto his face as she responded to his kiss, fingers knotting in his hair.

Noah’s hands slid under her dress, caressed her swollen belly, then his hand slipped between her legs, stroking and touching through her underwear. ‘I want you so badly,’ he murmured against her mouth and she moaned softly as his fingers snagged in her panties and slid them down her legs.

Somewhere in her hazy, lust-delirious mind, it registered that making love to this man here at her workplace, in the middle of the day, was insane. But she couldn’t stop. God, the sweet taste of his mouth on hers, his eyes sweeping all over her, making her sex tremble and dampen, his big hands on her skin.

He lowered her to the floor and covered her body with his own, kissing, nibbling at her earlobes, pulling the straps of her dress down so he could take her nipples into his mouth, sucking on them, teasing them into a frenzy. His mouth moved down to her belly, his hands gentle, his lips against it, tender as he stroked it.

‘I want you inside me,’ she managed to gasp, smiling, Noah kicked his jeans off, his cock rising, hard and huge against his stomach. The sight of it made her cunt pulse with desire and when, at last, for only the second time, he entered her, she sighed with happiness and content.

I’m being fucked by this beautiful man, whose baby I’m carrying inside me. In this moment, I have everything I’ve ever wanted…

As they made love, Noah, tender to the last, kissed her softly, passionately, gazing into her eyes. His cock drove her onto almost unbearable pleasure, her rounded belly hard against his, her nipples brushing against his hard chest.

She gazed up at him and thought, oh how I love you, you beautiful man and for one blissful moment, she imagined what it might be like to imagine a life together, here on this island, anonymous and peaceful.

Her orgasm dashed any thought of anything from her mind and as she came down from the high, she heard Noah groan and his seed spilled out of him into her belly.

‘Lila, Lila, Lila…’

His plaintiff whisper made her want to cry but instead she fixed her mouth on his. Noah stroked her face as they embraced, then as they broke for air, he gazed down at her.

‘Lila…please, can’t we at least try? To be a family? You, me and the little one? Let’s at least, try.’

Hope sprang in her for the first time and she nodded, her eyes filled with tears, seeing the joy started to flood into his eyes. ‘Yes,’ she said simply. ‘Yes.’

Manhattan

Tinsley was shaking. Never, never, had she seen Riley so worked up. Yeah, okay, his partner had been shot, but to attack her for protecting Lila’s privacy. Something was going on with Riley, something other than Charlie getting shot.

Tinsley sighed, trying to calm herself. The Riley she knew and loved – he was nowhere to be seen in the angry man who had just left. ‘Jeez,’ she said to herself.

Later, when Mikey had come in for his shift, Tinsley took off, and, still pissed at Riley, had ignored his entreaty to stay away from the hospital. She was in luck; the cops there let her in with no argument.

Charlie was sitting up in bed, staring at a ballgame on the TV. His left shoulder was heavily bandaged, his arm in a sling. There were patterns of cuts and bruises all over his handsome face. He looked tired but his eyes lit up when he saw her.

‘Hey cutie pie, what are you doing here?’

She rolled her eyes, kissing his cheek. His stubble tickled her lips and she felt a pang of nostalgia when she would wake up to him kissing her awake. Water under the bridge, kiddo.

‘Riley came to see me, told me you’d gotten yourself beaten up. I heard by an eighty-pound elderly nun. With a limp.’

‘More like sixty four-hundred-pound sumo wrestlers. With actual hammers like in the cartoons.’

Tinsley laughed, glad that Charlie retained his sense of humor. She touched his injured arm lightly. ‘How bad is it?’

He shrugged – then winced at the pain. ‘Couple of chipped bones, hairline fractures. Should be fine in couple of months.’

Tinsley nodded. ‘Good thing it’s not your jerking off hand.’

Charlie gave a bark of gruff laughter. ‘Yes, it is. Although, you know you can always help me out with that.’

As he laughed again, she swiped at him, blushing. ‘Filthy boy.’

‘Talking of which, how goes it with Harry? Those Carnegie boys do like to mess with my women,’ he grinned to show he was joking.

‘Just fine and dandy,’ Tinsley felt weird discussing her relationship – if she could call it that – with her ex-boyfriend but Charlie to her now was a good friend – her best friend, if she was being honest. She grinned wickedly at him. ‘Anyway, a little birdy told me that you had your own fan in that family – a certain little redhead?’

Charlie had the grace to look sheepish. ‘It’s just a crush; she’ll get over it. Cora just needs some looking after, is all. I’m old enough to be her dad.’

Tinsley smirked. ‘That’s true, granddad. Hey, listen…Riley came to see me, to tell me about you and I’m afraid we got into a bit of an argument and I wanted to come explain myself to you.’

Charlie held up his good hand. ‘Hey, I’m staying out of any arguments between the two of you. That’s a lose-lose for me.’

Tinsley frowned. ‘But it does kind of involve you – well, Lila, at least.’

‘How so?’

‘He asked me if I knew where Lila was, that if I knew, I should tell you because you needed her, you asked for her when you were hurt.’

Charlie stared at her. ‘Tins, I did no such thing. Lila is where she needs to be right now; I would never intrude on that for a few cuts or bruises. You sure he said that?’

‘Well, seeing as it was the crux of our argument, I’m pretty sure. I told him I didn’t know where she was and he kinda freaked out on me. Big time.’

Charlie looked astonished. ‘Riley? Riley freaked out?’

Tinsley nodded. ‘Yup, that was pretty much my reaction. Listen, you sure you didn’t ask for her when you were brought in, maybe you were out of it?’

He shook his head. ‘Nope, absolutely positive.’

She looked at the bruising on his head and wondered if he had concussion. ‘How can you be so sure?’

Charlie sighed. ‘Because, Tins…I already know where Lila is.’

San Juan Island

He drove them across the island in his Mercedes, back to the home she had found for herself. Shyly, Lila took Noah’s hand and he looked over and smiled at her. ‘Hey, beauty.’

Lila shook her head, smiling. Something had to give. Something would go wrong. If she’s learned anything from the past year, it was that no-one got everything they’d ever dreamed off just like that. There had to be catch, a pay-off, a twist in the tale.

But right now, for once, she let herself believe. After making love in the shop, they’d dressed, tidied the place up, and re-opened but the rain kept the shop empty and so instead, they talked.

‘Why did you keep the baby?’ He asked gently. ‘You could have just had it…dealt with, and no-one would have known.’

‘Because it was yours,’ she whispered softly, earning herself a passionate kiss.

They’d talked practicalities. ‘I could just resign,’ he said easily, ‘but I have patients that I want to see through their treatments. So, for now, I’ll commute. I’ll get a place near you so I don’t crowd you.’

She shook her head. ‘No, don’t. Just stay with me, don’t make this more complicated than it is. And sometimes, if you’ll have me, I’ll come into the city.’

Noah was clearly delighted. ‘We’re going to do this, Lila, all the way. We’re going to make it, I swear.’

She wanted to tell him she loved him in that moment but she funked it. It was too soon; she thought to herself, it was just lust. Well, she thought with a half-smile, lust – and a baby on the way. But if she was honest, she didn’t want to say it yet. She wanted to say it in a moment where it wasn't being swayed by sexual arousal, or panic, of fear, or anything. She would know when the moment was right.

Her home came into view and Noah whistled. ‘That’s nice,’ as he pulled up to it and she was surprised.

‘It’s just a cottage, pretty scrappy too,’ she smiled as he helped her out of the car. She opened her mouth to continue but then saw he was gazing down at her, his eyes intense. ‘What is it?’

‘Pregnancy suits you,’ he said softly, ‘you’re even more beautiful than I remember.’

Lila flushed with pleasure and embarrassment. ‘I’ll remember you said that when you’re holding my hair back because I’m throwing up everywhere.’

‘You’ve had sickness?’

Lila grinned at him switching automatically to doctor mode. ‘I have a great OBGYN, relax. You can just be the Daddy.’ She flushed again and her eyes filled with tears and it was Noah’s turn to ask what was wrong.

‘Nothing, these are happy tears. I never thought this – us – would happen.’

Noah wrapped his arm around her. ‘Well, then, show me to your castle.’

Manhattan

Tinsley had to wait to find out how Charlie knew where Lila was because no sooner had he dropped that bomb on her than the doctor had arrived to check him. She hovered impatiently outside his room until the doctor, shooting her an amused glance, left the room, then when she went in, she saw Charlie was up and getting dressed.

‘Doc says I can go home,’ he said cheerfully. Tinsley gaped at him.

‘You’re not going anywhere until you tell me how you know where Lila is,’ she said, gently pushing him back on the bed. Charlie sighed.

‘She wrote me, remember, when she left? She asked me not to tell anyone where she was but, of course, she was going to tell me, wasn’t she? So, that’s how I know and no, I’m not going to tell anyone, not you, not the Carnegies, and certainly not damn Riley.’

‘What is his problem, then? Why does he want to know where Lila is so badly?’

Charlie’s face set in its grim expression. ‘I don’t know, but I’m going to find the hell out.’

Harry Carnegie read through his emails hurriedly, not really taking much notice of them until he reached the last one. Then he cursed loudly and grabbed his phone.

‘Yeah, what?’ Brent, his associate back in Melbourne, mumbled into the phone and too late, Harry realized the time difference. It was four am. in the Australian city.

‘Brent, look, man, I’m sorry to wake you but I just got the email about the Landecker deal. To renew the contract, they want a price cut of seventy per cent….are they kidding with this?’

He pictured Brent sitting up, rubbing his bearded face and by the grunting noises he heard, he was doing just that. ‘Look, mate, things have been screwy here ever since you left. I can’t do it all on my own. Yeah, we dropped the ball on that contract and they snuck in with a last minute renegotiation. We need you back, man.’

Harry sighed. ‘Yeah, I know. Look, I didn’t mean to stay here so long…listen, I’ll get my stuff in order here and I’ll come back early next week. Can you hold on signing anything until then?’

‘I’ll try.’

Harry said goodbye and ended the call. ‘Damn.’ He had known that postponing and postponing his return to Melbourne would come back to bite him in the ass eventually, but he was having such a good time here. And yeah, that was entirely down to Tinsley. They had stuck to their agreement – fun, no commitment, easy come, and easy go. But, despite himself, he’d grown attached. His spirit lifted every time she smiled at him; his entire body worshipped hers when they made love. She fit him.

Not only that but during the time home, he’d reconnected with his family – each of them: Delphine, Richard and Cora – and felt a closeness to them he’d never felt before. Yet Australia was calling him home. It was his home. All of his friends were there now, the friends of his youth in Westchester all scattered and gone.

His sister, still reeling from Rich’s murder and Lila’s disappearance, had been leaning on him and he had to admit, she was a really good kid with a lot of potential – if she could keep it together. Tinsley had equally taken the young woman under her wing.

Tinsley Chang…darn it if she hadn’t gone and gotten under his skin. Harry shook his head. This was exactly what he’d tried to avoid his whole entire life.

Falling in love.

Tinsley’s cell phone buzzed just as she was climbing the stairs to her apartment. She had insisted on getting a cab with Charlie to his apartment and cooking for him. He had rolled his eyes but she knew he was grateful. Despite his protestations, his injuries had made him ache and she fussed over him, feeding him pasta and making him promise to take aspirin and go to bed.

Before she went, he’d called her back. ‘Tins…don’t mention our conversation to Riley. Let me look into it a little.’

She smiled ruefully. ‘I don’t think me and Riley will be talking about anything much for a while so I think I can promise. Look, I have to go into work for a couple of hours…sure you don’t want me to come back and check on you later?’

Charlie chuckled. ‘No, Mom, I’m good. I’ll call you tomorrow.’

Now, she took out her phone and checked the caller i.d. and smiled. ‘Harrison Carnegie, you won’t believe the day I’ve had.’

‘Bad or good, sweetheart?’

She balanced the phone between her ear and neck and she dug in her bag for her keys. ‘Um, I’d say, a bizarre day. You okay?’

‘Oh yeah, yeah…listen, can you meet me for drinks?’

‘When?’

‘Um, kind of now? I‘m outside.’

She laughed, letting her front door close again and turning back to the stairs. ‘You doofus, why didn’t you just catch up with me?’

‘Didn’t want to intrude.’ There was a chuckle in his voice. Tinsley jogged down the stairs and out onto the street.

‘You mad man,’ she said into the phone as she saw him. He was leaning against a very nice Porsche.

‘A loaner from my dad,’ he grinned as he held the door open for her. He took her to a quiet bar on one of the side streets.

‘The amount of time I spend in bars, I should just put a bed in the corner of mine and have done with it,’ Tinsley said as they found a quiet booth. The waitress came over and took their orders.

‘You know, Melbourne had a wealth of bars just crying out for a manager like you,’ Harry smiled but she could see wariness in his eyes.

‘I love New York,’ she said, gently. ‘Melbourne will always be home for me, but my heart is here now. What’s up, Carnegie? You look squirrely.’

He grinned wryly. ‘You know me too well. I have to go back to Melbourne. Next week. I’ve been neglecting the business and I’ve exhausted my partner’s patience.’Tinsley found she couldn’t speak for a moment but then she nodded. ‘We knew this wasn’t a forever thing, Harry. We said it wouldn’t be.’

He nodded, somberly. ‘We did.’

They sat in silence for a few minutes, the atmosphere between them awkward. Harry sighed and took her hand. ‘Look, truth time. I didn’t want to get involved. But something happened when I met you – ‘

‘Don’t say it, please,’ Tinsley begged him suddenly, ‘don’t make this harder than it has to be. We’re both adults, and this is the real world. A long distance relationship isn’t what either of us want or need. Let’s just…god, Harry don’t look at me like that…’ She broke off and looked away.

‘I’m sorry. But I’ll miss you more than you know,’ his voice was gruff.

Tinsley half-smiled at him. ‘I never said I wouldn’t miss you like crazy. You’d better stay in touch.’

‘I will.’

‘When do you leave?’

‘Monday.’

‘God, so soon.’ Another silence.

‘Tinsley, would you spend the weekend with me? I mean, I have a family thing on Sunday, and I’d like you to come with me to that too if you would like, but the rest of the weekend…’

‘Me, you, my bed and food delivery,’ she said firmly and grinned. Harry laughed softly.

‘Well, that sounds about perfect.’

Tinsley gazed at him. ‘For what it’s worth, these past few months with you? Best of my life.’

Harry leaned forward and brushed her lips with his. ‘Ditto.’

Much later, they walked hand-in-hand to her apartment, stopping every few minutes to kiss. As she slid her key into the door, she stopped and frowned, pushed on the door without turning the key. It opened. ‘Shit.’

Harry stepped in front of her, shielding her as they entered the apartment. He quickly stepped into each room.

‘No-one here. Anything missing.’

Tinsley, on edge, glanced around the kitchen then went into the living room. ‘Fuck,’ she said and with a resigned sigh, she pulled her cellphone from her pocket. Harry looked confused and she raised a hand, signaling she would explain in a minute.

‘Charlie? My apartment’s been broken into and guess what’s missing? Yep, that’s right. Okay. Okay, see you in a few.’

She ended the call and looked at Harry. ‘It’s a long story, but Charlie’s on his way over and I’ll explain them.’

Harry shook his head. ‘What’s going on? What was taken?’

She sighed. ‘My laptop, Harry. My laptop with possibly a way to trace where Lila went. Jesus.’ She sat down heavily on her couch.

‘What’s the big deal about that?’ He sat down beside her, putting his arm around her shoulders.

She put her head in her hands. ‘Harry…whoever took my laptop broke in to take it. That person does not have good intentions for Lila. That person could be the one who wants to kill her.’

I know where you are now, my darling Lila. Soon, so soon, we will be together and I will show you how much I love you – again. My knife will sink into your flesh once again and you will smile and thank me for the gift I am giving you. I will watch as you fight the loss of control as your rich ruby blood covers us both, as all the breath leaves your lungs and the light in your lovely eyes starts to dim and flicker.

But first, Lila, first I need to make another pay for their treachery, for keeping you from me. Someone you love will pay the ultimate price, my love.

Watch. Despair. It will be your turn soon…

San Juan Island, Washington State

Lila stretched her body like a cat, and turned to face her sleeping partner. Noah Applebaum is in my bed, she said to herself a little smugly. She gently touched her fingertips to his cheek, felt the beginnings of stubble. She loved the feel of his sculpted cheekbones, the short, thick dark hair at his temples, the way his ears were slightly too big. Thank god for them, she grinned to herself, or you would be too perfect, Doctor.

On cue, Noah opened those clear green eyes of his and smiled. ‘Wasn’t a dream, then?’

‘Wasn’t a dream.’

He cupped her face with his big hand. ‘Just checking you’re real.’

She chuckled. ‘I have the very real morning breath to prove it.’

‘I don’t care.’

She giggled as he tickled her. ‘You will, I was too, um, occupied last night to brush my teeth.’

‘In that case, I apologize for not brushing mine either but I don’t apologize for distracting you.’

Lila stretched again and he ran a leisurely hand down her body, settling on the small bump. He traced the still pink scars that crisscrossed her navel, made more vivid by the pressure of the pregnancy. ‘Do you know the sex yet?’

She shook her head. ‘No, I’m old-fashioned like that, I wanted to wait but do you want to know? Because we can go find out.’

Noah considered, his hand gently stroking the bump in which his first child slept. ‘I’m not sure…can I think about it?’

‘Of course, I want you to feel you are making as many decisions as me. God, this is difficult for me to get a handle on.’ She pulled herself into a sitting position, grinning as Noah eyed her breasts lasciviously. ‘Yesterday I was alone. Now the man I’ve been dreaming of for months is in my bed and we’re talking about our child.’ She shook her head. ‘Crazy.’

‘You’ve been dreaming about me?’

She touched his face. ‘I thought about you every day, every minute. I know it’s crazy, but I spent three years with Richard and yet in those few weeks when we spent time talking when I was in hospital, I learned more and shared more with you than with anyone. Even Charlie. It was just…right.’

Noah sat up and took her in his arms. ‘Screw the morning breath,’ he said, ‘that deserves a kiss.’

Eventually they made it out of bed and into the shower. They tried to make love, giggling and splashing, but Lila’s bump kept getting in the way.

‘The acrobatics will just have to wait until the little one is born.’

They made breakfast together, Lila scrambling eggs, Noah grinning as she whipped them. ‘Your sweet little ass jiggles when you do that.’

She grinned and exaggerated the movement then pointed at the pan he was holding, ‘Your pancakes are burning.’

‘You better bet they are,’ he muttered, but he turned back to the stove.

They sat out in her favorite place on the deck, eating breakfast.

‘It’s so peaceful here,’ Noah said, ‘I kept waking up last night because of the quiet. How’d you find this place?’

‘Realtor,’ Lila suddenly looked downcast. ‘It’s small but its location made it perfect for a hermit like me. Rich…left me some money and I hated to do it but I had to use some of it to buy this place.’

‘Hey, you had to do what you had to do.’

Lila sighed. ‘The thing is, Noah, Richard and I had ended our engagement a few days before he was murdered. We both knew it hadn’t been working, even before I was stabbed, but because we were such good friends, and the family was excited, I think we made a silent agreement to go through with the wedding. One of the many reasons I know it wasn’t Richard who tried to kill me is that there wasn’t a sly or vindictive bone in his body. If he had really wanted out, he would have talked to me.’

‘You miss him?’

‘Of course, but I miss him as my friend, not my lover.’ She looked a little nervous as she answered his question but he smiled.

‘Lila, he was your fiancé for three years. Do you think I wouldn’t expect you to talk about him?’

Lila half-smiled. ‘Thank you. The reason I took the job in town was that even though I used Rich’s money to buy this house, I refuse to use his money to pay for the baby.’

Noah nodded. ‘That’s fair but you don’t need to worry about that anymore.’

Lila looked uncomfortable. ‘I really get a reputation as a gold-digger.’

Noah laughed. ‘You will not but, hey, does this make me your third rich man?’

She groaned as he laughed. ‘Oh, that sounds terrible!’

Noah leaned over and kissed her. ‘Listen, I have an idea…’

Lila was still shaking her head. ‘God, what now?’

He laughed again. ‘In honor of your spectacularly successful gold-digging career – ‘

‘Stop it!’ but she was laughing hysterically now, and his eyes were twinkling with merriment.

‘I think we should call our first born…Kanye.’

Crying with laughter, Lila flicked a piece of pancake at him. ‘That’s it; you’re not naming our child.’

‘And your name from now on will be ‘GD’,’ he ducked to avoid a whole pancake.

‘Stop, I can’t breathe,’ she said, gasping. She put her hand on her chest, breathing hard. Noah sat back, grinning.’

‘Well, it’s ridiculous; anyone who spent even a minute with you would know you’re no parasite. Believe me, I know those types of people, men and women. I’ve dated a few.’

‘Men and women?’ She was joking now but Noah, his grin widening, nodded.

‘Yes. Does that bother you?’

Lila was taken aback. ‘You’re bisexual?’

‘No, I was messing with you. But that’s my point. You don’t know until you know someone what they are like, what they do. If people want to paint you as something, they will until they know you. And anyway….fuck ‘em.’

She was looking at him, her eyes both wondering and curious. ‘Noah Applebaum, I really have never met anyone like you.’

‘Right back atcha, shorty.’

‘I’m tall.’

‘I’m a doctor and five-five isn’t tall.’

‘That’s heightism and just when I was being so understanding about your taste for cock,’ she stuck her nose in the air for a moment. ‘Seriously though, it wouldn’t have bothered me if you were bisexual.’

Noah shrugged. ‘Wouldn’t bother me either. But I only have eyes for one person.’

She blew him a kiss then checked her watch. ‘I have to be at the bookstore by ten.’

‘And I,’ he said regretfully, ‘have to go back to the city, at least for today. I’d like to come back tonight, if that’s okay?’

She smiled. ‘Bring a big, full suitcase of your stuff. Make yourself at home.’

Noah leaned over and kissed her, then leaned his forehead against hers. ‘You and me and Kanye make three.’

She giggled. ‘Not Kanye. You insist on that, I’m calling you ‘Applebum’.’

‘Like I haven’t heard that before.’

They drove into town together then, kissing her goodbye, Noah stroked her face. ‘Until tonight, then.’

She got out of his car. ‘Hurry back to me.’

‘I will. You and little K look after yourselves.’

‘Hahaha, get lost, Applebum.’

She watched as he drove down to the harbor where the ferries connected to the mainland. Again, she marveled at the change in her life within one day. She smiled to herself. A new day, a new life.

She unlocked the bookstore and went to work.

Manhattan

Charlie Sherman walked into the precinct on Monday morning and went straight to his captain. The man listened as Charlie outlined his concerns about Riley Kinsayle but Charlie could see he wasn’t taking him seriously.

‘Charlie, what happened between you two? It’s been months that you’ve had this distance and now you come to me with this idea that Riley Kinsayle – that goofy man-child - could be obsessed enough with Lila Tierney to want to kill her? Even though he’s shown no sign of psychopathy…ever?’

‘I know it sounds crazy but listen…why else would he be so desperate to find her? They’re not that close.’

‘Maybe he thought he was doing something nice for you?’

‘I wouldn’t risk exposing Lila because I got beat up a little. Riley knows that.’

The captain shook his head. ‘No, I’m sorry, Charlie. You got beef with Riley, you two work on it – outside this precinct. I mean it. Any trouble, I’ll suspend both of you.’

Charlie was fuming by the time he went back to his desk, even snapping at his friend Joe Deacon, who came to give him a message. Joe held his hands up and backed off immediately.

Riley never showed up to work. At half past five, Charlie called his cell phone for the twentieth time. The captain, who had been keeping an eye on the desk-bound Charlie, came to the door of his office. ‘Still nothing?’

Charlie shook his head. The captain sighed. ‘Okay, well, why don’t we send a unit over to his apartment, check it out?’

‘I want to go.’

The captain rolled his eyes, knowing it wasn’t worth arguing. ‘Okay, take a patrol, but you stay behind them, Sherman, agreed?’

‘Agreed.’

He rode in the back of the cruiser as they weaved their way towards Riley’s apartment in Queen’s. As they parked outside, Charlie looked up at the building. There were no lights in Riley’s window.

‘Guys, stay vigilant. If he is in trouble, we don’t want to make it worse.’

The two patrolmen, whose names he didn’t know, went in first. They knocked at Riley’s second floor apartment door but there was no answer. Charlie nodded at the door. ‘He’s a cop and he might be hurt or…’

‘Understood.’

The burlier of the two kicked the door in. ‘Riley? Riley Kinsayle? It’s Charlie, dude, yell if you’re hurt.’

No answer. Charlie flicked the overhead light on. Riley’s apartment was clean, tidy, no sign of any disturbance. On the table, a laptop was open and switched on.

Charlie sighed. ‘Jesus, Riley.’ It was Tinsley’s laptop. Charlie shook his head, and then looked up sharply. ‘You guys hear that?’

The other men shook their heads and Charlie nodded towards a closed door, flicking the catch of his holster and drawing his pistol. The other men followed suit and led the way. As the first cop entered the room, he yelled that it was clear, and switched a light on.

‘Holy motherfuck,’ Charlie heard him hiss, ‘Sherman, come take a look at this.’

Charlie followed the other cop into what he saw was Riley’s bedroom. The bed was made, and it wasn’t until he was fully in that he saw what the cop had seen. He sucked in a deep breath as if the shock was palpable. Riley’s bedroom wall was covered in photographs. Every one of them a different scene, a different day. They only had one thing in common.

Every single of one of them was of Lila…

Manhattan

‘Oh my god.’ The words were hissed from between Charlie Sherman’s lips as he stood in Riley’s apartment. Endless images of

Lila assaulted his vision, photographs obviously taken without her knowledge over what looked to be the last few years, since she’d been in New York. Richard was in some of them, and as Charlie looked closer, he saw hazy images taken of the couple through windows. Intruding on private moments.

‘Sherman, take a look at this.’ One of the cops accompanying Charlie motioned at the wall and Charlie shifted to see what he indicating.

‘Fuck.’ Angry now. Photos of Lila in the hospital bed, barely alive, tubes in her arms, down her throat, spots of blood on her skin. Charlie shook his head.

‘How did I not see this?’

‘Kinsayle’s long gone,’ the other cop was rifling through Riley’s closet. ‘Looks like he packed in a hurry.’

‘Dammit, Riley,’ Charlie turned and stalked from the room, calling back to the other, ‘don’t touch anything else, get C.S.I. down here.’

Charlie went straight back to his captain and told him what had happened. This time, the other man took him seriously.

‘Okay. Do we know where Lila Tierney is?’

Charlie gave a quick nod. ‘But I don’t want her scared. Let me go to her, explain what’s happening.’

‘Fine, I’ll clear it. Charlie, if you find Riley…take him alive, if you can. No matter what he’s done, if he’s done anything, he’s still a cop. Due process etc.’

Charlie nodded. ‘Duly noted.’

Charlie drove straight to the airport and caught the next flight to Seattle. On the plane, he rubbed his face trying to figure out the story. Lila moves to New York, Charlie with her. He gets Riley as a partner and because he is always around Lila, Riley and Lila spend a lot of time in each other’s company and innocent, joking flirtation occurs. But maybe it wasn’t a joke to Riley….maybe he became infatuated, believed himself in love and when she had met Richard, jealousy reared its hideous and destructive head and Riley’s obsession began.

Charlie narrowed his eyes, deep in thought. Riley had played the waiting game, waiting for Lila to see the rich fuck for who he really was, waiting for them to break up but a few days before the wedding was actually going to take place, Riley snapped. Followed Lila to that wedding boutique and stabbed her viciously. If I can’t have you, no-one can…

Charlie snorted, shaking his head. Oldest play in the book. Crime of passion. And now they were looking for mild-mannered, jovial Riley Kinsayle.

Charlie closed his eyes, exhausted. The sooner he got to Lila, the sooner he would be there for her, being the best friend she always leaned on. He couldn’t wait.

Washington State

Lila smoothed her cotton blouse over the ever-growing bump and grinned. ‘I’m sure I just felt her kick.’

Noah, propped up on his elbow beside her, smiled. ‘Her?’

‘I just have a feeling.’

Noah chuckled and slid his big hand over her belly, and waited. Nothing. ‘I think you imagined it.’

‘Maybe but won’t it be exciting when we know for sure?’

‘It will.’ Noah glanced at his watch and groaned. ‘God, I have to get to work.’

It was still dark outside. Noah’s attending position at one of Seattle’s most prominent hospitals meant a long commute every day to the city and now, as Lila saw the dark shadows under his eyes, she frowned. ‘Baby…you know, I could always move to the city again, save you having to travel every day.’

‘You’d be more exposed in the city,’ he said, kissing her softly on the lips. ‘I don’t mind travelling. Besides, I love this place, it’s a haven.’

She stroked the hair at his temples. ‘We could keep this place for the weekends. I hate that you’re exhausting yourself for my benefit.’

‘For your safety,’ he corrected, smiling. ‘And for your peace of mind.’

Lila lay back on the bed, thinking. What was she so frightened of? It wasn’t even her attacker finding her – it was the Carnegies. If they should find out about the baby before she had a chance to explain…god. She looked at Noah now.

‘Noah, I think I need to reach out to Richard’s family and let them know that…we’re together at least. If they know I'm in a new relationship, maybe I can fudge the dates of my pregnancy. God that sounds bad – I just don’t want them to get hurt, is all.’

Noah nodded. ‘I get it, Lila, I really do. And this is all so new, you, me, us and the little bean. Tallulah.’

Lila laughed. ‘No way, Jose. Anyway, I’m going to do that, get in contact, start rebuilding bridges. Then, how about we stay at your place in the week, come back here for weekends?’

Noah considered then smiled. ‘Does sound tempting,’ he admitted, stroking her face, ‘and think of all that time on travelling I could save…what could we do to fill that time?’

She grinned back at him, then moving, she straddled him, taking his already-stiffening cock in her hands. ‘I wonder.’

Noah’s hand roamed all over her body, cupping her breasts and stroking her rounded belly. ‘Have I told you how beautiful you are, lately?’

She chuckled. ‘Way too often. I’m getting a big head.’

Noah looked down at her hands working on his cock. ‘So am I, by the looks of it.’ He groaned softly as she moved the tip of his cock up and down her wet sex.

‘Do you like that?’ She whispered, her gaze intense on his. He nodded, his hands on her breasts, his thumbs stroking a rhythm over her nipples. Lila cupped his balls in one hand and gently massaged them. ‘And that?’

‘God, yes…’ Her gentle hands worked his cock until it stood rigid, engorged. She traced a pattern with her fingernail gently on the sensitive tip.

‘That?’

Noah’s answering moan made her smile. She guided him inside of her and began to move, gazing down at this wonderful, gorgeous man. His hands were on her hips then, fingers massaging the soft flesh as she rode him. His cock, so big, so hard, plunged deep into her and she moaned as Noah began to stroke her clit, increasing the pressure as she quickened her pace. God, it had never been this good with Richard, or anyone else. Her body seemed to fit Noah’s perfectly despite the disparity in height between them, his cock fit inside her, stretching her, hitting all the nerve endings in her cunt.

Their movements became frenzied, fucking each other harder and harder until they both shuddered and moaned their orgasms, Noah’s cock pumping thick, hot semen deep inside her. They caught their breaths, laying side-by-side, staring at each other.

Finally, Noah brushed his lips against hers. ‘Lila Tierney…I am crazy in love with you.’

Lila smiled delightedly. ‘You are?’

‘Hell yes.’

She kissed him. ‘Good. Because I’ve been wanting to tell you that for ages. I love you, Doc.’

He gathered her to him, and then slid a hand down to her belly. ‘Family,’ he said simply and she nodded, tears in her eyes.

‘Yes,’ she said softly, ‘family.’

I see you. I see you with him, laughing, loving, fucking.

You whore. You filthy fucking whore.

Whose baby is that? His? I’ll cut that thing out of you, Lila, after I’ve killed you, and send it to him. Here’s your kid, bastard, oh and by the way, Lila is dead, my knife buried deep inside her. This time, you won’t be able to save her, you fuck.

This time my knife will gut the life right out of her.

Soon, Lila, soon.

Lila felt almost giddy, like a schoolgirl getting a date with the best looking boy on the football squad. Noah Applebaum is in love with me, she thought to herself, as she flitted around the bookshop, tidying, repricing books on sale, unpacking new deliveries. It had been a busy morning, a beautiful Washington day outside had brought waves of tourists over on the ferries from the mainland and it seemed that every single one of them had come to the shop. A few locals had said as much, some of them squinting at the newcomers as if they were rabid interlopers. Lila grinned to herself; she loved this little bookshop with its large windows and light wood bookshelves, the airiness of the space, the calm, and the peace. At one end, there was a selection of large, battered couches which patrons could sit and read all day if they wished.

Yeah, if she did move to the city during the week, she would miss this place. Maybe she could work out a new arrangement and she could commute for a couple of days, at least until the baby came. She would be loath to give up on this place entirely.

So deeply engrossed in her thoughts, she didn’t see him standing at the door watching her, a small smile on his face.

‘Hey, Boo.’

Lila looked up startled. Her immediate reaction was joy when she saw her oldest and closest friend standing at the door; then the next minute, she blanched. ‘Charlie…what are you doing here?’

He stood aside to let some patrons out then came to the counter. ‘Got all sorts of answers for that, but the most important one was…god, I missed you.’

Lila froze for a moment then suddenly darted around the counter and threw herself at him. ‘Oh, Charlie, I missed you so much.’

He swept her up and spun her in his arms. ‘Hated every minute without you.’ He put her down and only then seemed to notice her swollen belly. His eyebrows went up.

‘Food baby?

She grinned, flushing furiously. ‘Actual baby. Long, long story.’

Charlie looked stunned. ‘Is this happening or is this a fever dream?’

Her color deepened. ‘Charlie, there’s so much I have to tell you but first…why are you here? Apart from missing me.’

His smile faded and he glanced around at the other patrons – most of who were eavesdropping on the scene. ‘Is there somewhere we can talk privately?’

Lila glanced at the clock. ‘I’m off in an hour…look, there’s a coffeehouse across the road, can you wait?’

Charlie nodded. ‘Okay, in an hour then.’ He looked her up and down. ‘You look radiant, Lila. Oh hey,’ he said suddenly, ‘who’s the father?’

She grinned at his expression. ‘I’ll tell you everything in an hour, I promise.’

An hour and fifteen minutes later, Charlie sat back in his seat, running his hand through his dark hair. ‘The good doctor, hey?’

Lila nodded. ‘I’m crazy about him, Chuckles. He is the person I was meant to be with…you’ll like him, I know it for sure.’

‘Hey, the few times I met him, he seemed like a stand-up guy,’ Charlie agreed, ‘and he helped you recover so I’m always going to owe him one. So when…’ He gestured to her burgeoning belly and Lila flushed again.

‘A few days before Richard died. At our last physiotherapy session.’

Charlie threw back his head and laughed. ‘Wow, Lila…’

She tried to smile. ‘I know, so unlike me and just…I don’t want to call it wrong but it was probably not the appropriate time. But, god, Charlie, I’d just come back from the dead and I wanted him.’

Charlie leaned forward, taking her hand. ‘Hey, hey, I’m not judging you. I say good for you. After all those years with that – ‘

‘Charlie, no. Richard’s dead, let’s not…’ She choked up, tears in her eyes. ‘The reason I left New York was the baby. I knew it had to be Noah’s and that fact alone made me want this baby so much. I had fallen in love with him almost as soon as I met him – not that I told him that.’ She grinned shyly. ‘In fact, when I came here, I told no-one, not even Noah. I didn’t want him to think he was trapped. Lucky for me, he tracked me down.’

‘And now you’re making a go of it?’

‘We’re making our family. That you’re here makes it even more of a family. How did you find me, by the way?’

Charlie frowned. ‘Your letter, remember? You told me you were going back to the place where we met. You probably meant Seattle but I remember I first met you here. The children’s home had brought us here on an outing – you came along later that day with Susanna…remember?

She shook her head. ‘No…god, I don’t.’ She gave a small laugh. ‘Well-remembered, though.’

Charlie grinned. ‘The rest was easy, just asked around at the grocery store, the local medical center. Strange how a cop’s badge will get you the information you need.’

Lila rolled her eyes, laughing. ‘Yes, it’s a mystery. Guess my well-laid plans fell through if it was that easy to find me.’

Charlie’s smile faded. ‘For a cop, yes, and that’s another reason I came. Lila, I have some bad news, shocking news really.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Boo, I think we know who it was who stabbed you.’

Lila began to tremble, her hands shaking and she put her tea cup down. ‘Who?’ Her voice was low, almost a whisper.’

‘Riley.’ He watched her expression go from shock to horror to fear.

‘Oh my god…’ Lila closed her eyes. ‘Oh god, please no.’

Charlie frowned. ‘Lila, is there something you haven’t told me about you and Riley, something you’ve kept from me?’

She shook her head but didn’t look at him. ‘No. God, how do you know?’

He told her about the incident with Tinsley and then what they’d found in Riley’s apartment. ‘As soon as I saw that wall of photographs of you, I knew. He’s obsessed, Lila. Dangerously so, we think.’

‘Then why haven’t you arrested him?’

Charlie looked at with soft, dark eyes. ‘Sweetheart, because we can’t find him. Riley’s missing.’

Lila still felt sick as they drove back to her cottage. Riley…She couldn’t believe it and yet when she thought back to that awful day in the bridal boutique, when she’d opened the curtain and her attacker had driven that knife into her belly over and over…it made a strange kind of sense. Her stabber had been the right size for Riley, certainly, tall and well-built but that didn’t mean anything. Richard, Noah and Charlie were all of a similar height and build as Riley.

But there was another reason it made sense…one that she always looked back on with shame…

…she had cheated on Richard with Riley.

Manhattan

Then

It was after Paris, after they’d travelled around the world backpacking and when Richard had finally gotten his way and treated her to the most luxurious Parisian dream vacation. After that.

They’d gotten back to New York and returned to their everyday lives; Richard running his billion-dollar corporation and Lila back at school and at the bar. Now that school was coming to an end, her schedule was light and she had more time to think and hang out alone.

Which was proving to be a big mistake. She had been triggered by a photograph in a society magazine of Delphine’s.

Camilla Van Der Haas, 27, leaving Butter with her new flame, Eric John Markham, 39. Miss Van Der Hass is the daughter of billionaire property magnate, Regis Van Der Haas and Lavinia Fortuna. Mr Markham is the head of MarkoPharm, the pharmaceutical giant.

There was a photograph of Camilla in a stunning, red silk slip dress, her long tawny hair tumbling down her back, her wide smile open and knowing. Her escort was blandly handsome in a forgettable way but it was Camilla Lila couldn’t take her eyes off. That knowing look. I could have any man I wanted and I know it, it seemed to say. Especially your man, Lila…who do you think you are, you jumped up gold-digger from nowhere?

Lila had made a face at the photograph and threw the magazine down. Fucking bitch. And why had Lila let Richard off so easily? He fucking cheated on me, she told herself.

She was in the bar, cleaning up. It was late and the bar was almost empty of patrons. Saturday night…late.

‘I’ve been watching you clean the same spot for the last ten minutes, with a face that says ‘Imma gonna cut ya bitch’.’

Lila looked up and smiled. ‘Hey, you, I didn’t even see you. When did you get here?’

Riley Kinsayle smiled at her. ‘Like I said, ten minutes.’

Lila chuckled. ‘Man, I’m sorry, what can I get you?’

Riley looked around the otherwise empty bar. ‘You sure? I mean it looks like you’re ready to shut up shop for the night.’

Lila hesitated then went to the door, closing it and sliding the bolt across. ‘Lock-in for two?’

Riley grinned delightedly. ‘Hey, I’m always up for that.’

Lila grabbed a couple of beers and they snagged a table in the middle of the room. Tapping the neck of his bottle to Lila’s, Riley took a swig. ‘So, why the face?’

Lila shrugged. ‘Nothing. Not much…god…it’s just one of Richard’s exes.’

‘Been bothering you?’

Lila gazed at him for a long moment. ‘Riley, if I tell you something…will you promise to keep it to yourself, not even tell Charlie?’

He put his hand over his heart. ‘My word is my bond, Lila.’ He studied her closely. ‘What is it, sweetheart?’

She sighed. ‘Richard cheated on me with one of his exes. Camilla. She’s an Upper East-sider, all designer labels and perfect hair.

Riley cussed. ‘Are you kidding me? Is he an idiot?’

Lila tried to smile. ‘Oh, yes. But I give him credit for telling me straight away, the same day.’

‘You do? I don’t,’ Riley was clearly pissed now. ‘What fucking idiot cheats on you?’

Lila flushed, waving off the compliment. ‘No, I mean, he’s an idiot for sure, but I don’t think it was intentional.’

‘So he tripped and his dick fell into her snatch by mistake?’

The image Riley conjured was so comical that Lila burst out laughing and he grinned. After a moment, Lila stopped laughing. ‘Riley, you always manage to cheer me up.’