Chapter 9
Sarah
The sun feels great on my face as I relax on the bench. The park is tiny, but I like it a lot. It’s close to the clinic and I really like eating lunch here whenever I can. I picked up a quick take-out order and here I am. There’s a small group of kids playing in one corner. They’re fun to watch as I try to balance my sandwich in one hand and my phone in the other.
But today, I’m here on a mission and I can’t keep my mind on kids playing. I have to figure something out. I have to think about what’s going on. My date with Dr. Ash went really well. I still can’t believe that he asked me out at all. My crush on him in going into overdrive.
I thought maybe going out with the doctor would help me get over him. But it’s only made me like him more. He’s still the same good-looking, successful man that I work with. Now I know he’s also really interesting, funny and nice.
And even though I thought it would be awkward once it came down to going out with Ash for real, it wasn’t. He put me at ease right away. It didn’t feel in anyway like we were at work. Or doctor and nurse. We were just two people out on a date. And that was great.
The only thing that surprised me was when he took me home and dropped me off. He didn’t even try to invite himself up to my place. And he didn’t offer for us to go back to his place either.
He walked me to my door like a gentleman. I was just about to invite him to come up for another drink. And to see what might happen. Before I could say anything when we reached my door, he had his arms around me.
His hands were in my hair and we were kissing. By the time we were done, I was breathless.
Dr. Sexy sure knows how to kiss. Not that I ever doubted that he would. But that kiss was something else. My knees were weak by the time we stopped.
And just as suddenly as it began, it was over. He kissed my earlobe and said good night.
Then he turned on his heel and left.
Well, that wasn’t what I expected at all.
By the time I got up to my place, I was convinced that he wasn’t that into me. Or maybe he was still concerned about dating me, since we work together. Whatever the reason, I had to figure that our date was a one-time thing.
I was locking the door behind me when the text came in. I settled onto the sofa with my phone to read it. It was from Ash. Telling me how much of a good time he had. And asking me out again.
Now that, I wasn’t expecting. Although his kiss definitely showed interest. No question. Maybe he likes to take things slow. I’m trying to do the same. So I decided to see what happens.
But the thing is, I’ve been out with Cory a couple times now. Each time has been better than the last. I thought it’d be fun to juggle two guys at once. But it’s not for me. I just can’t do it. It’s also too early to decide which man I want yet. I mean, I’ll give them both a couple more chances before I do.
But I need to at least have an idea of the direction I’m leaning in. I’ve got exams coming up soon. There’s no way I can keep two men going at the same time then. Hell, one will be hard enough. But if he understands where I’m at with my course, surely the right guy will be patient enough to wait for me.
At least I hope so.
So I’m spending my lunch break sitting in the park, eating as fast as I can and trying to come up with a list at the same time. The list. The pluses and minuses of each guy. I’ve never done anything like this before.
Of course I’ve never been involved with two guys at the same time either.
I’m taking notes on my phone as best I can. The problem is, I can’t come up with any minuses.
At least, not any real ones. The only one I can figure out for Ash is that we work together. I know that’s a concern for him too. But since he figures it’s okay, then I know I have no worries about my job. So it’s not really a big deal. We both agreed to keep things quiet and not let anyone else at the clinic know about us. At least not for awhile.
It was a nice thing for him to say. Letting me know that he thinks that we might have a future together. That someday, we will get to a point where we let our coworkers know about us. Between that and him not trying to sleep with me yet, I feel like he’s serious about seeing where things go between us. That’s a great feeling to have, especially upfront.
On the downside, it also means we haven’t slept together yet. So I don’t know what he’ll be like in that area. However if he’s as good at other stuff as he is at kissing, then there’ll be no problem with sex.
Not at all.
The pros are easier, that’s for sure. Both Ash and Cory are really good-looking men. Major plus. They both have great jobs. They’re both nice and friendly.
I know Ash better than Cory. Of course I do, since we work together. But even though I’ve known him longer, I don’t know Ash super-well. I only know how he is at work. But that’s not a small thing. I get to see how he treats his patients, and all of us who work for him. He’s really great with people. And he always keeps his cool. No matter how busy it gets or how urgent some of the patients we see are, he keeps it together. He’s really organized and can juggle so much at once without getting flustered. A real take-charge man.
He’s an inspiration to me. I struggle to be like him sometimes. But it’s how I want to be in my job too. I respect him so much as a person. As well as a boss.
And yet. Sometimes he’s a little too cool, a little too calm. He can be hard to read because of this. Of course as a doctor, he would be. He can’t let the patients know everything he’s thinking. But sometimes I wonder if he doesn’t know how to let his guard down. He was certainly very smooth with me when we went out.
Cory’s a lot more laid-back. He’s definitely a guy who likes to have a good time. He’s fun and he doesn’t take anything too seriously. Or that’s what it seems like to me so far. He’s kind of the opposite of Ash in that way.
Not that Ash isn’t fun. But he’s got this way about him. One that’s a bit more serious. Maybe not serious, but like he’s thinking about a lot all the time.
My big problem is that I like both types of guys. If I had to choose one, I honestly don’t know which side I’d come down on. Both kinds of man appeal to me. I think because I have both sides to myself too.
Of course there’s no ‘if’ about it. I do have to choose. That’s why I’m making this list. But it’s too soon. I don’t know any of the real negatives about either man. That’ll come in time. I know they’re not perfect. I just don’t know in what ways yet.
I check the time and find I have to get back. My list is equally long for both men. Damn. Not even the numbers can tip the scale, at least not yet. I was hoping to come out of this with at least an idea of which way I’m leaning. I don’t know how long I can go on seeing both of them. I’m going to have to choose sooner rather than later.
How I’m going to do that, I have no idea.