I leaned my head back against the thinly cushioned headrest, pressing the button on the armrest down as hard as I could make press it. Finally able to lean back, I closed my eyes, until I felt the smooth kick of a solid kneecap against the back of my chair.

“Hey, watch it!”

After the seat flung forward, I turned to face Adam. There was nothing that I hated more than flying coach for four hours on a low-budget airline, but Adam had insisted on it.

“Remind me why you made me fly coach again?” I asked.

Adam held the in-flight magazine in his hands, daftly scrolling through the various products robotically. “It builds character,” he muttered. “Besides, we don’t have the funds right now. Remember?”

It only took a few back-straining hours to get there, and when we landed, I waded through the crowds of people to get into a cab. Adam took his time, snapping photos every step he took.

“Slow down, Noah,” he said.

“Why? We have to get into the city,” I said.

Adam ran his hand down my back before getting into the cab. “I don’t want us to fight anymore. Look, if the exhibition doesn’t happen this year then we can always show it at a later date.”

“If we don’t figure this out now, how do you know if we ever will?” I asked.

“Look, I’m sorry. I just can’t stop thinking about the three of us. I want this to work out, but I keep wondering what you want,” he said.

Staring out of the window, I watched the city come into sight. The looming buildings, housing millions of people, everyone crammed into such a small space… Now that I had been away from it for so long, it seemed so wrong. I missed the high-rise apartment and the silence of the city back in our new home.

I missed Hank.

“You feel it too right?” Adam asked.

“Maybe,” I said.

I hated admitting it, but only because I knew the truth. We loved him. Hank. Our omega. Yes, our omega. We yearned for him to be near us, and I just wanted this project to be over already.

“I miss him too, Noah. But once we figure this out, we can resume things,” Adam said.

I glanced into Adam’s eyes and saw the man I fell in love with years ago smile back at me. Kissing me, I fell into him, remembering how it used to be. “I just want us to feel whole again.”

Adam leaned his forehead against mine. “What if he’s pregnant?” I asked.

Small raindrops started to fall outside. The sound was soothing. I fell into his chest and tight hug. “He’s not pregnant,” Adam said.

“But you don’t know that. We both knotted. It’s definitely possible,” I said.

It was a hope of mine. To have a baby felt like the first real chapter to a good life. I spent my last years playing out the role of “manager.” That was nice, but I wanted something new and exciting. I wanted to be “daddy.”

“I think you’re hanging on a miracle,” Adam said. “We don’t even know if he wants in this relationship, yet. Maybe it was just a fun hook-up and photo shoot, you know?”

I sighed. There was so much we had to talk about, but it felt like we didn’t have the time. Knowing that he was right, I hugged him. “It’s hard knowing what to do sometimes,” I said.

“Hey,” Adam whispered, looking deeply into my eyes. “You’re doing everything right. You hear me? Everything is going to work out. Don’t lose faith, Noah.”

As the cab came to a halt, Adam took out his wallet and paid the driver. We started to walk toward our apartment rental, bags in hand. “We came to get a job done. Now, we’re going to get that done,” Adam said.

All I wanted was for him to be right. I latched onto the hope that we’d get some help on this creative project. If that happened, I could rest easy for a while.

In the rental, Adam dropped his bags near the front door. “I’m calling the Hope Gallery and getting to the bottom of this,” he said. “They’ve always been generous. I don’t see why Joey wouldn’t want to meet. At the very least, he’ll be excited to see the pictures.”

The Hope Gallery wasn’t going to have anything to do with him, I knew that much. They had been emailing him for months but never got a single reply. Sure, Adam was big, but the gallery types held all of the power.

Adam paced around the room until they answered his calls. Placing the phone on speaker, he reluctantly changed his tone. “Hey, Joey Hope?” Adam bit his tongue and waited for his response.

Joey Hope was sixty-five and as tough as nails. Born in Queens, he got his start in the arts cene when New York was a whole different place. He wasn’t an artist, but he knew how to run a business, and he was still a champion for gay rights. Even if he didn’t help us, I would always have respect for him.

“Adam? Is it really you?” he asked.

“It’s me.”

“And me,” I interrupted. “Hey, Joey.”

“Hey, kid. What are you guys doing in town? It’s been a while,” Joey said.

“We’re just checking out the sights. We should meet,” Adam said.

A strange paused filled my heart with anxiety. There was no way we were getting any gallery to help us out. I could tell when Joey was shying away from someone. I needed to do something fast.

“Look, Adam, I’d love to meet you and Noah for drinks, but I can’t promise you anything,” Joey said.

“What do you mean? I just want to catch up,” he said.

You couldn’t play games with a man like Joey Hope. He just wasn’t that type of guy. “Like I said, I’d love to have drinks with you, but that’s all I can offer you,” he said.

Finally sitting down on the bed, he admitted defeat. “Shit, man. Has it really come to this? After all these years, you’re just throwing me out on the curb?”

“It’s nothing personal, Adam. I got an offer to sell the gallery last month. New developers are rebuilding the whole block. I tried reaching out, but you didn’t respond. At this point, there’s nothing I can really do,” he said.

“Reshaping the whole block? Joey, you can’t let them do that,” Adam said.

“What else can I do? I’m sixty-five years old. I’m tired. And to be honest, my heart hasn’t been in this for a long time. Sometimes you have to know when to call it quits.” Was that a dig at Adam? He knew when to call it quits, but now didn’t seem like one of those times.

“That block has a history. We fought to have our voices heard on that corner,” Adam said.

I saw the pictures of their crew flooding the streets with pride. They moved mountains, but the world was a different place then. Inclusivity was everywhere now. Most people forgot about what people like Joey Hope did. I didn’t.

“What can I tell you? It’s just not in the cards for me anymore,” Joey said.

Adam nodded. He understood loud and clear. “I hear you, Joey. I’ll talk to you later about those drinks, okay?”

“Take care, Adam,” he said.

Before he hung up the phone, Adam whispered, “Things will get better. They always do.”

Click.

“Fuck.” Adam flung his phone against the mattress. Staring at the ceiling above us, he shook his head. “Everything is starting to change,” he said.

“It’s always changing. Don’t beat yourself up. Someone will come through,” I said.

But I couldn’t be sure. We had allies in this business, but the art world was full of people who wanted to latch onto the next big thing. We never knew who to trust.

“I don’t care about the exhibition. It’s like I said earlier. If it doesn’t happen, I’ll be fine with knowing that the experience at least brought the three of us closer. That’s what life’s about, anyway, right?” Adam asked.

Even Adam knew that was a lie. He came to Hank’s city to do something that pushed the boundaries of the photography world. Without the exhibition, there wouldn’t be a climactic ending for him. I worried what our relationship with Hank would turn into if that happened.

Adam called all of the galleries in the city, but no one had enough space or time for the latest Adam Newton exhibition. He had burned too many bridges. When Adam dropped his sluggish body onto the bed, I knew I had to slip outside and make a call.

“I’m going to the bodega across the street. Do you need anything?” I asked him.

“No, but thanks. I think I’m going to take a nap. I’m pretty exhausted from the flight,” he said.

Kissing his forehead, I told him that everything would soon work out if he just kept his hopes high enough. Though, when I walked outside, I called Hank. I had to hear his voice.

“Hey! There you are. How’s New York? I bet it’s amazing,” Hank said.

I felt absolutely awful. Suddenly, the sounds coming from the streets were loud and unsettling. I walked to a nearby corner and put Hank on speakerphone to hear him a little better. Hurriedly, I tried to tell him what was going on, but none of the words were making any sense.

“Whoa, hey. Slow down a bit. It’s going to be okay,” Hank said.

“I don’t know this time. Honestly, I don’t. We’ve never been at a crossroads like this before,” I said.

I could hear Leo’s gruff voice resound in the background. They were going over the wedding plans. I shouldn’t have interrupted them, but I felt like I had no other choice. As a manager, I had my back against the wall.

“We can figure this out. I know some people in New York. If nobody wants to do the show, we can set it up ourselves,” he said.

“But the Leather and Lace…” I sighed and laid my back against the brick wall.

“That’s over,” Hank said. “You don’t have to worry about my financial troubles. This is more important.”

“It doesn’t feel that way,” I said.

I had come face to face with my worst fear: my emotions getting the best of me. And now, I was going to break down and tell Hank the truth. I cared about him. Fuck. Both Adam and I did, and it wasn’t enough to just have him every once in a while. I wanted him every single day.

“Noah?” he asked. “You there?”

“Sorry. Yeah, I’m here.” I cleared my throat.

Hearing his voice was doing all sorts of things to my head. I felt dizzy, confused, and even alarmed – what were we doing here, hundreds of miles away from the place we should have been?

“You’ve been working hard on this. Don’t beat yourself up so much,” he said. “If all else fails, I know someone out in New York who might be able to help you out. His name’s Sawyer. He’s got a place in Bushwick, and he’s a really amazing guy.”

“You know someone who has a gallery?”

Mild excitement formed in my stomach. I felt a sense of sweet relief pull me upward. Maybe this was going to work out after all. Maybe, just maybe, we could turn this disaster around.

“He doesn’t own a gallery, and he’s not an artist per say, but he is a big part of the community out there. Young guy, but he has a following. He throws shows sometimes for people, but it’s more on the DIY scale, I think. He’s got a thing for the art of Shibari It won’t be what you’re used to,” Hank said.

“Shibari? Japanese rope bondage? That’s beautiful,” I said. “I’ll talk to him and see what he says. At this point, I think we’d be happy if anybody takes us in.”

“I’ll text you his details. It’ll all work out. It always does,” Hank said.

“Thanks, Hank,” I said. “Honestly, I think I just needed to hear your voice. Things have felt different without you near us.”

Part of me wished that I didn’t say that last part, but another part of me didn’t care anymore. So what if I sounded vulnerable? I was vulnerable.

The deliberate pause threw me off guard, but then I heard the soothing whisper of his voice say, “I miss you both. A lot.”

I felt my heart flutter as if it were the first time I had fallen for someone. Something in us changed when we met Hank, something beyond any photo shoot or fetish scene, or hot night.

All of a sudden, I heard the door shut behind me. Suddenly, the hot steam from a nearby manhole whipped against my cheek. I turned around and saw Adam standing there, looking at me with adoration in his eyes. He touched me and kissed the top of my head, tenderly.

“We both miss you,” Adam said.

Was it possible to love two people at once? So many people tried and failed, but this… this felt so fucking right. I held the phone in front of our faces, and Adam slid his hand up my back. His warm kiss inspired me.

“I’ll see you both soon. Get to work!” Hank exclaimed.

When I hung up the phone, everything changed. I didn’t want to hang onto my depression. Other people might’ve given up, but we had the option of doing things differently. I was going to meet with this Sawyer guy, and maybe we could set up something special.

Upstairs, I explained the whole thing to Adam. The images that Hank sent us of Sawyer’s work weren’t just erotic in nature. They were incredible works of art that anyone would have enjoyed seeing. Hank was wrong. Sawyer was a real artist.

We called him and decided to meet the next day.

* * *

“Are you ready?” Adam swiveled his coat over his back and held the door open for me.

“I think so. How do I look?” I asked him.

Adam smiled and brought me into his arms. Closing my eyes, I smelled him. Cinnamon. “You always look so handsome,” he said.

“I feel good about this. This just might work out,” I said, smiling.

“It always does,” Adam said. It was easy for him to say that, but he was right. Generally speaking, we always got through our troubles.

Sawyer’s flat was only a short cab ride away, and when we arrived, he was leaning against the brick wall. He was built like a tank with dark brown hair and a stern face. I didn’t know how to greet him, but when he saw us, a gentle smile escaped his lips. That’s when I knew he’d make a lasting friend.

“You’re the photographer, right?” he asked me.

I took a gloating glance at Adam and laughed. “That’s your guy,” I said, pointing.

Adam put out his hand. Sawyer didn’t shake it. Instead, he latched him in a giant bear hug, squeezing the air right out of him. He did the same to me, leaving me breathless and coughing against the cement.

“It’s great to meet you both. If Hank says you’re good people, I believe it. He’s a good dude. I had a pretty fun time at the Leather and Lace some years back,” Sawyer said. “I’m Sawyer. Welcome to my home.”

“I’m Adam. This is my partner, Noah. Thanks so much for having us. We were getting a little worried about the show. A lot of the galleries are booked up,” he said.

Sawyer sneered and took a step back. “The galleries can fuck off. Every show we’ve had here has sold out, and the people are genuine. They’ve got souls, you know? Down here is different from uptown, so if that’s what you want, you should probably talk to someone else,” Sawyer said.

I saw the grin start to form on Adam’s face. This was precisely what he wanted. He’d finally get his chance to start over. “No. That’s what we’re looking for,” I said.

Sawyer led us inside the building. As we walked up the flight of stairs, I looked outside the paned windows. “I didn’t think we’d be back here so soon. To be honest, I was getting tired of New York,” I admitted.

“We both were,” Adam said.

“I guess we thought it lost some of its depth,” I said.

Sawyer nodded, knowing what I meant. “The city was hijacked a long time ago. Rich developers. You know the deal. But there are small pockets here that keep the torch burning. I’d like to think I’m one of those people,” he said.

“Your Shibari work is incredible. I’d love to see more of it,” Adam said.

We reached the door to his flat and paused. Smiling, he turned to us and whispered, “You’re in luck. I’ve got one of my students here right now. Been training him for a while.”

Sawyer opened the door with a slight push, and the three of us walked inside. The first thing I noticed was how big the place was. It was like three flats combined into one. Then, my eyes fell on the man that was dangling from the ceiling. He was bound in strategic knots with beautiful symmetry. He was also completely naked and as hard as a fucking rock.

“Uh, Sawyer? Can you take me down now?” he asked.

Checking his watch, Sawyer grinned and shook his head. “No can do, Jack. It says you’ve got about twenty minutes left,” he said.

The man groaned, but Sawyer ignored him. “As you can see, it’s about three hundred square meters. It’s bigger than most of the flats around the neighborhood. We’ve got the view overlooking the city, but we can always hang up curtains to create an atmosphere,” he said. “Really, it’s going to be up to you and your standards.”

It was more than perfect, but there was still the issue of price. We didn’t have much money left, and I was assuming the rent on this place wasn’t cheap. But when I looked at Adam, I knew he had found the energy inside of him again. He looked like he had found the spot of his dreams.

“It’s just like how we used to do things,” Adam whispered. “We used to throw huge parties, charge a donation to get in and fill it to capacity. It was the start of something real.”

“Yeah, but how much is this going to cost us?” I asked.

Sawyer grabbed a wooden chair and flung it down in front of him. He sat and thought about it for a second, slumping over the chair’s shoulders. “I guess it depends. Hank said I should know you, but I have to admit, I don’t come from the art world. I’m not cultured like that, so I apologize for coming off a little aloof,” Sawyer said.

Adam lifted his bag. Reaching inside, he pulled out a few prints. Sawyer took them in his hand and briefly looked at the top picture. It was of Hank and I, smiling in bed. The next picture showed Hank on the floor, naked and glistening. The images were raw, and they told a story. Our story.

“That’s just the start of the series,” Adam said. “Look through them. There’s a variety of imagery there.”

Sawyer looked at them, intently eyeing each of the prints. After some time, he nodded his head with approval. Admittedly, this was the first time I had seen most of these as well. Each photograph got more erotic as the timeline progressed, and every outfit that Hank wore was more revealing than the last. Of course, there were also the pictures of our threesome. Sawyer seemed to like those the most.

“These are good. Damn good,” Sawyer said. “Nobody really wants to dive into territory like this. Not sure why, but it’s refreshing to see somebody take it on.”

Adam stood over Sawyer’s shoulder with me. He bit the center of his lip and started to pace the room in thought. “Yeah, but something is missing, right?”

I looked at my partner with alarm. What was he doing? I wondered. Pointing that out right now was a liability, and I immediately regretted taking him on this business excursion. “What do you mean? They look great,” I said, hoping he would sense my discomfort.

Adam shook his head, still lost in deep thought. “No, there’s something missing, but I can’t put my finger on it. We need to dive deeper. We need Hank to explore some more intimate poses maybe,” Hank said.

Fuck. “Don’t do this,” I whispered. “We don’t have the budget to keep the warehouse. Do you know how much those roses cost us? I’ll give you a number if you want.”

Sawyer stood up and handed the photos back to Adam. “I see what you’re saying, but maybe you’re looking into this too hard,” he said. “I didn’t notice anything wrong with the shots, and I doubt anybody else would either.”

“But I will. I’ll notice the flaws, and they’ll eat at me throughout time,” Adam said. “Just one more shoot. That’s all I need.”

I had just about given up. I looked up at the ceiling where the Shibari man was still hanging. I felt a little like him, trapped and bound by Adam’s creative genius. He had probably discovered a flaw – he always found those flaws. But we just didn’t have the funds to keep exploring and re-contextualizing the pieces.

Sawyer took one look at me and laughed. It wasn’t appreciated. “You’re freaking out, aren’t you?”

I shook my head, but my facial expression and eyes were telling the whole story. I was freaking out, but I had every right to freak out. “Okay. Maybe I am a little worried,” I said.

“Well, stop worrying. Everything is going to be fine. I’ll give you the space for two hundred dollars a night. You won’t find that type of pricing anywhere in this city,” he said.

“Two hundred? You’ll really do that for us?” I felt the tension lift from my body. I wanted to throw my arms around Sawyer’s big body and hug him.

“Sure, why not? I feel like I owe Hank a favor. He showed my friend and me a good time when we were at the Leather and Lace, so this is my way of giving back. Honestly, it’s not that much work, and I’m excited to see what you do with the pictures,” Sawyer said.

“We won’t let you down,” I said.

“Neither will he,” the Shibari man said from the ceiling.

“He always has to ruin the moment,” Sawyer said.

Both Adam and I smirked. We found the right man and the right place. We could finally focus on what was important: our relationship with Hank.

Grabbing my hand, Sawyer pulled me in for another big bear hug. He cracked my back before setting me back down on my feet. Adam took a step back, waving him goodbye. “We’ll keep in touch,” Adam told him.

“Sure thing.”

After walking down the flight of steps, I stopped Adam and took a deep breath. This trip had been stressful, but I wanted him to know how much he meant to me. “I’m sorry for being a brat,” I said.

Adam shrugged and kept his eyes focused on my lips. “I love it when you’re a brat. Don’t you know that by now?”

I laughed, but I was serious. There was more I wanted to talk about too. “Well, I’m sorry for bringing up the money, then. I just get worried sometimes.”

Running his fingers through my delicate strands of hair, he breathed in my scent before smiling. “Remember when we first met? It was close to this time of the year,” he said.

The cold autumn wind rushed by our faces. All of a sudden, the sounds around us seemed pleasant. It reminded me of those times. We were so young back then, naïve in every way. Sometimes, I missed those days, but other times, I accepted them as memories.

We didn’t meet at a gallery. Before him, I wasn’t involved in the photography world. I was a student. We bumped into each other in Manhattan of all places. Back then, I never went to Manhattan.

“It was so obvious that you were a hotshot,” I said. “Some big time artist guy. It bothered me,” I said, laughing slightly. But I fell deeply into that feeling of first love.

“And you were just some twink. You had all your books with you, loosely falling out of your hands. I couldn’t believe someone like you would be in Manhattan.”

“Is that what I was? A twink?” Adam laughed and picked me up into his arms. I waited for his gentle kiss to give me all the feels I could handle.

“The hottest twink I had ever seen,” Adam said.

“You’re making me too nostalgic,” I whispered.

Adam’s smile faded, but he kept that sense of calm at bay. “I’m sorry, my love. It’s just that sometimes I think that we forget how hard we’ve worked for this, you know?”

I nodded my head. I knew. Life sometimes got in the way, and while that was okay, we needed these moments to bring ourselves back down.

“And I just think we’re the best team in the world,” he said.

“But Hank? You want to bring him in this, right? For good?” I asked.

“We fit really well together,” Adam said.

“Yeah, we do. Real well,” I grinned. Naughty images of our cocks pumping into Hank’s sweet hole were burned into my mind forever. He was the perfect middle to our alpha sandwich.

The life that we used to live in this city had come and gone so fast. There were parties, roof-top date nights, and long talks until the sun came out. But new things were coming. Big things. I could feel it.

“I just want to settle down. After this show, I want to get serious. Even if Hank can’t have a child, I want to adopt. I just want to live a normal life,” Adam said.

“Really?” I asked.

“Really.”

Setting me back down on my feet, he took my hand. We began walking back to the apartment. Everything felt within reach, perfect for the future, and I knew we were on the right track.

I knew exactly what was coming our way.