Sabrina

I closed the book I was supposed to be reading and rested it on my knees. For nearly two hours I sat perched on the window seat, book in hand, staring at the words on the page, but not reading any of them. The only words filling my head were Dan’s.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t put them out of my mind. Not only the words, but the manner in which he said them. He actually looked sorry and slightly embarrassed. That’s more than I got when I confronted him ten years ago. Back then he’d been a bit cocky and not the least bit apologetic.

Is he really sorry, or is it just an act?

Should I even care?

No, I shouldn’t.

Do I care?

Unfortunately, and totally against my will, I do.

But why? Why after all these years do I care whether or not Dan is sorry?

If I’m being totally honest with myself, the answer to that last question is because he’s the first boy I ever loved…truly loved, not just had some schoolgirl crush on. There wasn’t anyone before him and there sure as hell hasn’t been anyone since. No one who matters anyway.

Let’s face it. Dan has left some sort of indelible mark on me that I can’t erase. Subconsciously, I’ve compared every man I’ve dated since college to him. And sad to say, not one has measured up.

I flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. As depressing as my thoughts are, they’re one hundred percent true. Instead of blocking all these facts out, I’ve decided that I better face them if I’m going to be strong. Face things with my eyes open, as they say. Dan has been making subtle moves on me all week and I’m determined to not fall for his charming smiles and sweet words. I can’t risk it.

My watch alarm chirped signaling that it was time for Dan’s next therapy session. Time to face him again. I got off the bed and headed for the door. With every step I took toward the gym, I steeled myself against him.

I can do this.

I gave myself a pep talk all the way through the house, to the gym. Three more weeks, four at the most and I’ll be gone…five on the outside. At any rate, this is only temporary. Soon I’ll be able to leave and pick up my life right where I left off, a bit richer in the process.

The partnership I’ll obtain upon my return to the clinic will definitely put me into a new tax bracket. But it’s not just the money, it’s the satisfaction of reaching my goal that’s spurring me on. In the end, it will all be worth it. Before long, this time with Dan will be a distant memory, but the partnership will last forever, or at least until I die. I just have to keep my focus.

When I stepped into the gym, my jaw nearly hit the floor. I kept my focus all right. I focused right onto Dan’s bare chest and bulging biceps as he curled hand weights. I have to admit that, despite his various flaws, Dan is one fine specimen of manhood.

Being a physical therapist, I’ve seen all sizes and shapes of men in various states of undress and haven’t batted an eye. And as I look at Dan, I still haven’t batted an eye, because I haven’t blinked once.

His back and shoulders are broad and I find myself fascinated as his muscles flex and relax with his movements. The angle he’s sitting at also gives me a view of his magnificent chest and six-pack abs, which are covered with tawny hair that disappears in a straight line into his gym shorts. That line is like an arrow directing my eyes to his shorts and what lies within them.

I had just dragged my gaze from the area of his anatomy that I have no business staring at when Dan noticed my presence. He turned his head so quickly in my direction, I couldn’t help but wonder if he felt my eyes on him the entire time. I covered my embarrassment with hostility.

“Don’t you know that you should never lift weights without a spot?” I marched toward him.

He actually looked amused, which pissed me off even more.

“I think I’ve heard that somewhere before.” He lifted the weights into my line of vision. “But as you can see, these are only twenty pounds each, so unless I accidentally bash myself in the head with them, I think I’m safe.”

What he was saying was true, but I didn’t want to admit it, so I ignored the statement entirely. I retrieved a Styrofoam ice cup from the freezer and prepared to get down to business.

Kneeling beside him, I removed his brace, and iced his knee. As I did so, I explained a few slight alterations I made to his routine. “If it’s too much, let me know. I don’t want you to push yourself too hard.”

“Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?”

His abrupt change of subject, as well as his question, threw me off guard. “What?”

“Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?” he repeated in an overly patient tone.

“Oh.” I stood and wiped my hands on a towel. “I don’t think so.”

Annoyance, then determination shone in his eyes. “Come on, Bri. Except for Lexi’s practice, neither one of us has left this house. Jeff has a date and I told Mrs. Evans she could go home since Lexi isn’t here.” He flashed a smile that lit up his whole face. “So it’s just you and me.”

I thought about that for a minute. Since I can’t boil water without scorching it and the last time I’d seen Dan cook, he burned the food way past the point of recognition, we’d probably have to order out anyway. And, given a choice, I’d rather eat somewhere in public with him than at home alone…it’s definitely the lesser of two evils.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

I laughed out loud at his shocked expression. Apparently he thought he was really going to have to turn on the charm to persuade me.

“Great.”

“But first we have to finish your workout.”

“Right.”

“That’s why I’m here, you know. To get you all better,” I reminded him, lifting his foot and moving his leg in a series of pre-workout warm-ups. He flinched as I held his heel and rotated it from side to side.

“Does it feel any better than it did earlier?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“How about this?” I pulled on his heel in an attempt to straighten out his leg.

“Argh! It hurts like hell.”

I sat back on my heels and looked at his leg then up to his face, covered with a fine sheen of sweat. I would have liked to try the new routine, but didn’t think he was ready.

“Okay,” I said as I stood. “Nix the new routine. Just run through the usual, and if at anytime it hurts above a five, stop immediately.”

“Yes ma’am.”

I ignored that and started him moving in an attempt to keep the tone professional. If we’re going to be alone tonight, I want it to be on my terms, not his.

I sat on my bed and called myself every kind of fool. Why did I agree to go out with him tonight? Even when we have Lexi as a barrier, the sparks fly between us. What will it be like when I don’t have anything other than him to focus on?

I stood and walked to the closet. Now, what to wear? We’d decided to go to a little Italian restaurant in town that Dan said looks like a hole in the wall but serves the best food he’s ever tasted. So I don’t need anything fancy, but I don’t want to look like a grub either. Then again, I don’t want to look like I’m dressed for a date date. I wish I could see what Dan is wearing. I’ve only seen him in sweat pants or shorts since I’ve arrived, but he assured me that he’d get into something decent for our night out.

Why do I care?

On that last thought, I yanked a pair of khaki capris, a white sleeveless shell, and black cardigan sweater off their hangers with more force than necessary. The hangers rattled against each other before settling into place.

After donning my clothes and slipping my feet into a pair of sandals, I studied the result in the mirror. I decided to let my hair hang loose, and brushed it until it framed my face. I know that by the end of the night it will be driving me crazy…which is why I usually pull it back…but for now I’m happy with it. I wish I had some make up to dress up my face a little, but lightly glossed lips will have to do. I picked up my purse and headed out the door.

There seemed to be an awful lot of noise coming from the family room, but I figured Dan was watching a game with the volume up too loud. How wrong I was. I recognized the men sitting in the room and hoped like hell none of them recognized me. No such luck.

“Sabrina, is that you?” Moose Johnson asked.

I nodded reluctantly as the once buff football player ambled over to hug me. His beer belly banged into my chest as his beefy arms circled around my back. Just when I thought I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen, he released his grip. “You didn’t tell us Sabrina was here, Dan.”

“Sabrina’s here, Moose,” Dan said, deadpan. Then he explained, “She’s my physical therapist.”

I heard a chorus of “holy hell,” “no shit,” and “get outta here” before Dan spoke again. “We’re actually heading out to dinner so—” Their collective protests cut him off.

“Dan, come on,” Moose said, looking like a pouting child.

Another of Dan’s chums from college chimed in, “You gotta be kiddin’.” John Levecchi was a mere inch taller than me and in college had been thin and wiry. The guys had nicknamed him “Chugger” because of his ability to drink more quantities of beer than any of them, despite his small stature. From the looks of John’s distended abdomen, all that beer had finally caught up with him.

Moose—who if he has a real name, I don’t know it—and John were starting to whine when what sounded like the voice of reason spoke up. “There’s no need to go out. Murph is bringing pizza,” Kent “the Kentster” Ainsworth said.

Kent had been Dan’s roommate freshman year and that fact is his only claim to fame. I met Kent a few months before Dan and I started dating and even then I thought he was a snake, but for some reason, Dan took a liking to him.

He was the bane of my existence for the two years Dan and I dated, and is the person who told me about Dan’s philandering. Not out of the goodness of his heart, you understand. No, no, when he told me, Kent had me pinned against the wall, trying his best to get in my pants. He had been slightly drunk at the time, but not so far gone that he didn’t know exactly what he was doing.

At first, I tried to treat the whole thing as a joke, which I had hoped it was. When that didn’t work, I got down to some serious pushing and shoving.

“Kent, cut it out. You know I’m seeing Dan,” I’d said. Although I wouldn’t have touched him with a ten foot pole, regardless. But I didn’t feel the need to be cruel. Unfortunately he did.

He’d snorted. “Yeah, I know, but it’s not like he’s not out enjoying a little variety.”

“Get out, Kent,” I’d said forcefully. I didn’t believe him, but my stomach knotted at the thought.

His laugh had sounded evil and his sneer scared me. “You actually think Dan is being faithful?” He’d looked at me with mock pity. “Oh God, you do, don’t you?” He laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. “Dan’s been getting some of the best pussy on campus while he has plain little Sabrina to escort bring to Mom and help him with his homework. Did you actually think someone like you could keep Dan happy?”

That was about all I could take. I’d fled from my own room so Kent wouldn’t see me break down. His words had cut clear to my core and released every doubt I had ever had about myself and my relationship with Dan.

I’d never understood why Dan was with me instead of the walking Barbie dolls who’d drooled over him as they followed him around campus. But, as Dan later confirmed, he was having the best of both worlds, just as Kent had said.

“Sabrina,” Dan’s voice broke into my sour thoughts. “Are you okay?” He used his crutch to push himself up from the couch and make his way toward me.

Kent slapped his hand against Dan’s chest. “She’s fine. Aren’t you?”

I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to blame him for everything that went wrong between Dan and me, but in my heart I knew I couldn’t. Kent is a weasel and I certainly don’t trust him, but Dan is the one who cheated on me all those years ago. I just can’t help but wonder how Dan would react if he knew how I found out. He had asked, but I never told. It didn’t seem important at the time. I guess it still isn’t.

“I’m okay, Dan.”

“See, told ya. Why don’t you sit back down, Dan the Man? Murph should be here any minute with the pizza and some girls to go with it.” He glanced at me as he spoke the last few words, a smirk playing on his thin lips. “You’ve been cooped up way to long buddy.” He bobbed his eyebrows. “You’ve got a reputation to keep up, don’t forget.”

“Sabrina?” Dan looked like a drowning man.

If he was looking to me to look like the bitch and demand we go out to dinner, he was looking to the wrong person. I’ve been the party pooper more than once with these guys when Dan didn’t have the guts to tell them he couldn’t go out because he had to study or just didn’t want to go out. I’m not doing it now.

“Actually, I’m not all that hungry.”

Dan was about to say something when Murph barged through the front door, his arms laden with pizza and five of the most gorgeous women I’ve ever seen trailing in his wake. I didn’t stick around to be introduced.

Dan

What in the ever-loving fuck just happened?

After wrestling myself into khakis and shrugging into a button down shirt, I’d made my way downstairs to wait for Sabrina. When the doorbell rang and I found Kent, Moose, and Chugger on the other side of the door, I was anything but pleased. I let them in, hoping to convince them to leave before Sabrina made an appearance.

Besides the fact that I know Kent was never her favorite person, I’d been looking forward to our night out. Apparently she hadn’t been at all, because instead of backing me up when I told the guys we already had plans, she totally bailed on me.

After Sabrina went back upstairs, Murph showed up with an armload of pizza and a bunch of women. The way Kent took over as if he lived here kind of pissed me off, but I fought the urge to freak out. Even though they showed up unannounced and uninvited, they are old friends. I never want to be one of those pricks who forgets his old friends just because he finds more interesting people to play with.

A cute redhead settled on the couch next to me.

“How’s the leg?” Her high-pitched voice nearly burst my eardrums.

“Coming along.”

When she leaned closer, pushing her right tit into my left bicep, I shifted, putting space between us. She stuck out her bottom lip in what I assume is supposed to be an alluring pout, but it just pissed me off. I shifted further away from her and she got the hint. Face pinched, she walked across the room and sat next to Moose, who had a brunette on his other side.

Kent sank into the other side of the couch and handed me a beer.

“It’s good to see you, man. How’s it going?” He gestured toward my leg with his bottle.

“It’s getting there.”

“I’m sure Sabrina is whipping you into shape.”

“Yeah. She said I should be good to go for next season.”

“That’s good. Really good,” he said. “Hey, why didn’t you tell me she was here?”

I wasn’t sure how to answer that. How do I ask him why the hell I would tell him anything about my daily life without sounding like a total dick? And the truth is, I don’t talk to Kent all that often. Between Lexi, my family, and baseball, my plate is pretty full. A few phone calls a year is all I can handle. Plus, Kent and the guys still like to hang out in bars and chase women, and that’s just not me.

He looked around the room.

“Where’s everyone tonight?”

“Jeff is out, Lexi is spending the night at a friend’s house, and I gave Mrs. Evans the night off.”

“Then it’s a good thing we stopped by, right?” He slapped my shoulder. “I’d hate to think of you here all alone.”

“I was taking Sabrina out to dinner.”

Taking a long draw on my beer, I tried to tamp down the disappointment. Sure, I kind of coerced her into accepting my dinner offer, but if she really didn’t want to go, she could have just said no.

“So you and Sabrina,” Kent said. “You’re a thing?”

I looked over at him.

“A thing?”

“Yeah, you know, like back in the day.”

“Kent, she’s my physical therapist.” He’s one of the last people I’d confide anything in.

“You guys just seem kinda cozy here all alone.”

“What’s your point, Kent?”

“Just curious…” he waggled his eyebrows and continued, “…you finally get to fuck her?”

I jumped up, grabbed Kent’s arm, and pulled him off the couch. In the back of my mind, I registered the fact that conversation behind me stopped, but I didn’t care.

“That is none of your fucking business.” My low tone intensified the words.

Kent’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down and he let out a nervous chuckle. I loosened my grip on his arm and stepped back, noting the twinge in my knee.

“Hey, Dan, I was just—”

I cut him off before he could finish and piss me off even more.

“I think you should leave now.”