Sabrina

As predicted, my inner battle raged the entire time I showered and dressed. In the end, I decided to go because (a) I really want to and (b) something tells me that Dan won’t let me back down, not after what happened the last time we tried this.

So, at six o’clock on the dot, I closed my bedroom door and made my way to the kitchen. Once again, I had agonized over what to wear, and decided on my all-purpose black dress. For more formal occasions, I dress it up with jewelry or a jacket, but tonight newly purchased strappy sandals and freshly shaved legs are my only considerations to the fact that this might be a date. I don’t want to think about why I slipped on a matching black lace bra and panty set.

Dan’s back faced me as he gazed out the window over the sink, so I had a moment to admire his backside. His well-tailored black pants cupped his behind before falling loosely over well-muscled thighs, giving only a hint to their shape. A pale blue linen shirt stretched across his broad shoulders and my fingers itched to explore.

He turned suddenly and I felt a blush creep up my neck and across my face. My embarrassment at being caught in the act didn’t make me miss the fact that his front view was as magnificent as the back had been.

“Wow.” Admiration shone in Dan’s eyes as he walked toward me, using the sleek black cane his mother had given him. He stopped in front of me and let his gaze drift over my body, which definitely responded to his leisurely inspection. My blush intensified. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” I managed to croak. “You look pretty nice yourself. I like the cane.”

Dan’s smile practically lit up the room. “It is pretty classy.” He pulled his jacket off a stool at the breakfast bar and shrugged into it. “Ready?” I nodded. “Great, I’m starving.”

“Me too,” I replied, though my stomach was tied in so many knots, I have no idea if I’ll be able to keep anything down.

The restaurant had actually been someone’s home in a past life. Dan led me up the stairs of what appeared to be a large Victorian and through the front door, his right hand resting on my lower back.

A boisterous man with a booming voice greeted us immediately. “Dan, it’s good to see you.” He slapped Dan on the back as he shook his hand vigorously. “How’s the leg?”

“Getting better every day, Vince.”

“Glad to hear it. Where is our little Miss Alexis tonight?”

“At a friend’s house. I brought my friend Sabrina instead.”

Vince looked at me as though he hadn’t noticed my presence. “Well, hello Sabrina. I’m Vince Maroni. My wife, Rita, and I own this place.” He took my hand in his and raised it to his mouth, lightly brushing his lips across my knuckles. I silently thanked God, because I don’t think I could survive one of Vince’s handshakes.

“No train room for you tonight. Only the room of romance will do,” he declared, rolling his R’s dramatically.

Vince instructed us to follow him and we did, to a quiet table for two, set next to a lovely brick fireplace, which in consideration for the season, was not lit. He handed a menu to me, then to Dan and proceeded to list the specials of the evening. With a flick of his lighter, the small votive candle in the center of the table came to light. “Would you like some wine tonight?”

Dan’s eyes smiled into mine over the candlelight. “Zinfandel? For old times’ sake?” he asked.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Dan had ordered White Zinfandel on our first date. He admitted later that a friend of his had suggested it, that he himself knew nothing about wine. And considering the fact that neither of us was old enough to legally drink at the time, why should we? That aside, I can’t believe he still remembers the details of our first date.

“I’ll bring that right out for you,” Vince said, before turning on his heel and leaving us alone.

I looked around the room and was taken in by its old world charm. Since the restaurant used to be a house, it consisted of a few small rooms instead of one large one. The dimly lit room was very romantic, as Vince had promised.

Light butterscotch paint coated the aged plaster walls. The cozy tables scattered throughout had enough distance between to give space and a sense of privacy. Red checked tablecloths added a finishing touch of traditional charm.

“Dan!” A female voice brought me out of my perusal of the room. I looked up and spotted a petite woman with thick salt and pepper hair and piercing blue eyes rushing toward our table. If it weren’t for the ice bucket clutched to her ample bosom, I would have assumed she was a patron. Her casual dress did not mark her as an employee.

“It’s been too long,” she said, embracing Dan, who was now standing, welcoming her with open arms. “We haven’t seen you in so long.” Her voice was what I can only describe as smoky, sexy, and exotic.

“I’ve been kind of tied up,” he answered, chuckling.

“How is your leg?” she asked, as she set the ice bucket on the edge of the table.

“Getting better,” he said, gesturing toward me. “Thanks to this amazing woman.”

The woman’s eyes shifted to me, and her pleasant expression put me at ease. “Vince warned me, but I didn’t believe him,” she teased. I followed her eyes to Dan, who was actually blushing.

“Rita, this is Sabrina Kelly, my physical therapist and date for the night. Sabrina, Rita Maroni, Vince’s wife and the main force behind the wonderful food served here.”

“Hello Sabrina.” Rita extended her hand to shake mine. “It’s so nice to meet you.” That done, she turned back to Dan. “Sit.” He did as she ordered and she pulled a corkscrew out of her pocket and opened the wine. After going through the whole ceremony of allowing Dan to taste it and filling both of our glasses, she set the bottle back in the ice bucket.

“Vince will be out shortly to take your order. I just had to see this for myself,” she said, tossing a smile my way.

Then we were alone. Well, as alone as two people can be in a public place. I took a sip of wine, more for something to do than anything else. I felt Dan watching me, and my stomach fluttered. Whether it was from nervousness or anticipation, I’m not sure.

“I take it you come here often,” I said.

Dan nodded. “This is one of Lexi’s favorite restaurants.” He chuckled. “I’m not sure if she likes the food or the fuss they make over her.”

“Probably a little of both.”

Again, he nodded. He looked like he was going to say something, but Vince returned to take our orders.

Dan and I decided to share an order of stuffed mushrooms for an appetizer. Colossal salads, loaded with a variety of veggies topped with house dressing followed.

I ordered chicken marsala with a side of spaghetti with marinara. It had seemed like a harmless meal until Vince set it down in front of me. A plate the size of a satellite dish held the chicken, which was two full breasts topped with crimini mushrooms smothered with marsala sauce. I thought he’d forgotten my spaghetti until he placed what I would consider a serving bowl down, filled with my “side” of pasta.

The bowl that held Dan’s chicken and fettuccine alfredo was so large I could barely see him over it. Well, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but I swear there has to be two pounds of pasta in front of him.

“Is everything all right?” Vince asked a while later.

“Delicious,” I answered, around a mouthful of the best chicken marsala I’d ever tasted.

“Can I get you anything else?”

Dan and I both told him he couldn’t and Vince told us to yell if we needed him.

“I’ll never finish all this,” I said, looking at the mound of food on my plates.

“They do give healthy portions.”

“I don’t know if I would use the word healthy to describe this meal, but there sure is a lot.”

A loaf of crusty Italian bread sat in a basket between us. Dan picked up the basket and held it out to me. “Bread?”

“Not just yet, thanks.”

He set the basket down, took a piece of bread for himself, and proceeded to butter it. I stared, fascinated by his hands, his long, broad-tipped fingers as they held the knife. Images of those hands touching me flashed through my mind, heating my skin. No man’s hands had ever felt as good as Dan’s. No one else ever made me feel like he could with the slightest touch. I returned my attention to my food.

We ate in silence for some time before he spoke again. “I’m sorry about the fuss.”

“Fuss?”

“The fuss Vince and Rita are making.”

“That’s okay.”

“Lexi’s the only female I’ve ever brought here.” He thought for a moment then added, “No, scratch that. I brought my mom once.”

The way he said the last word made me think the experience hadn’t been pleasant.

“Once?”

“She and Rita hit it off instantly and kept trying to fix my life for me.”

“What’s wrong with your life?” I don’t know what possessed me to ask.

He shrugged. “They think I need a good woman.”

Okay, time to change the subject.

“So, Lexi really likes it here?” My voice sounded an octave or two higher than normal.

“Yeah, she does,” Dan answered. I thought I was home free until he added, “I told my mom that I’d had a good woman and let her go.”

I nearly choked on my pasta. He went back to his fettuccini. We ate in silence for a bit, then Dan resumed the conversation on a lighter note, asking questions about my career and family, and other normal date topics.

After a loud good-bye with Vince and Rita, which included hugs and a promise that I’d return, Dan and I shared a quiet ride home. He seemed to be lost in his own thoughts and I didn’t feel the need to fill the air with needless chatter.

I used the time to evaluate the evening as a whole. The restaurant was charming, the food amazing, and Dan had been the perfect date. And yes, I readily admit that it was a date. I had truly enjoyed myself and planned to admit as much to Dan.

Resting my head against the window, I allowed my mind to wander to the past. How many nights had we shared like this very one?

More than I can remember.

With or without dinner, our time together had been easy. We never ran out of things to talk about, yet we also weren’t afraid of quiet times. Like now, neither of us feels the need to speak and the silence seems neither oppressive nor uncomfortable.

The car stopped and I realized we were back at the house. The garage door closed behind us as Dan unbuckled his seat belt and I did the same. Suddenly, the awareness between us was so overwhelming, I opened my door in order to drag fresh air into my lungs.

“You okay?” Dan ran around to my side of the car. Well, ran as well as any man with a leg injury using a cane can.

“Fine. I just needed some air.”

He studied my face for a moment and nodded. His hand reached out and held mine, helping me out of the car. Our hands remained clasped as we walked through the garage and through the door into the kitchen.

The house was quiet.

Dan squeezed my hand before releasing it and asked, “Would you like a drink?”

I really didn’t want the evening to end, which immediately made me want to decline. I don’t want to want him. But I do. Maybe it’s time to face that head on.

“I’d like that,” I answered.

“Great.” He’d obviously expected me to head straight to bed, even though it was barely ten o’clock. “Have a seat. Would you like more wine?”

While that was tempting, I figured I’d had enough alcohol. “Sweet tea is fine.”

I sat on the couch and watched Dan fill two cut crystal glasses from the pitcher of sweet tea Mrs. Evans somehow kept filled at all times. I wondered how he was going to carry both and use his cane, and smiled when he placed both glasses in the palm of his right hand, before picking up the cane and heading toward me.

“Thank you.” I took a token sip and placed the glass on the coffee table in front of me. “I had a great time tonight. Thank you for asking me.”

From the look on his face, I’d managed to shock him again. “The pleasure was all mine,” he said once he composed himself. “Maybe we could do it again sometime?”

I wanted to tell him no, tell him not to get the wrong idea, but instead heard myself say, “I think I’d like that.”

Dan finished his tea in one long gulp and placed the glass on the table next to mine. He sat back against the cushion and traced the crease in his pants with his index finger. “Sabrina,” he started, then cleared his throat. “I want you to know how sorry I am about everything that happened between us.” He turned to fully face me. “You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you when you confronted me, either.”

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’ve explained to you why I did it, and you brought up a very valid point. The thought of someone else touching you, kissing you would have driven me insane…still drives me insane. So why should it be any different for me?”

The anguish in his eyes, on his face, is genuine and I know that he’s truly sorry. The things that happened between us obviously affected him as much as they did me.

“I just don’t want you to think I’m a jerk anymore. I care about you and your opinion too much to let that be the case.”

His eyes searched mine, looking for answers to his questions, for reassurances about my thoughts, my feelings. I knew I had to speak and that I had to be honest. The problem is that while my honesty will thrill him, it scares the hell out of me.

“I don’t think you’re a jerk,” I said, my voice a mere whisper. His disbelieving look made me smile. “I really don’t, Dan. That’s not to say I didn’t when I first arrived. But I don’t anymore.”

“If I followed correctly, I think I like what I’m hearing.” His voice raised slightly on the last word, turning the statement into a question.

“You heard me correctly,” I assured him. “For ten years, I allowed what happened to fester inside me. In my mind’s eye, you turned into a monster who broke my heart. And you were right.” He cocked his brow, but didn’t say a word, obviously not wanting to break my train of thought. “When I first arrived, I saw you as I wanted to, not as you actually are. You’re obviously a dedicated father and if rumors can be believed, you’re not the shallow, womanizing creep I’d imagined you to be.”

“Thanks for the compliment.” Dan chuckled. “I think.”

“It was meant to be compliment, no matter how backhanded it sounded.” I leaned forward and took a drink. “Whenever I thought of you over the years, I’d imagined you with a slew of groupies, living a life of never ending orgies.”

He seemed to think about that for a minute then laughed. Not a small chuckle, but a full belly laugh.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

It took a second for him to compose himself enough to answer. “While you were imagining that, I was probably covered in spit up, trying to figure out how to change a diaper.” He wiped tears from his eyes and sobered. “Seriously Sabrina, it was never like that. Even back in college, it…” he stopped and rubbed his eyes. “There just weren’t as many girls as you seem to think there were.” He held up his hand at my indrawn breath. “Now, before you go berserk, I know there shouldn’t have been any, that even one was too many. I know that now. Hell, I knew that then, if my guilt was an indicator.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I’m really messing up here.”

“No, you’re not,” I reassured him. “Dan, what happened, happened. Circling around it won’t make it go away. That’s the mistake I made back then. Instead of talking to you about it, I drew my own conclusions.”

“You tried to talk to me. I screwed that up. Remember?”

“Yeah, I remember. But in all honesty, nothing you said that day would have really registered. I was too hurt, too upset.”

“Sabrina, I could say I’m sorry a million times and it wouldn’t begin to convey how I feel.” I nodded, just to let Dan know I’d heard what he said. “Thank you for talking to me about this.”

I nodded again, tossing the question around in my mind. Did I dare ask it? Am I strong enough to face his answer? I guess I’ll never know if I don’t ask.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“I was wondering…” I let out a frustrated breath and started over. “The night of the prom, did you…did you go to someone else after you left me?”

Dan looked as unsettled by the question as I’d felt asking it. For a moment, I didn’t think he was going to answer, but slowly his features returned to normal, then softened. He inched closer to me and took my hand in his. “Is that what you thought?” Without waiting for an answer, he said, “No wonder you hated me so much.” I looked at him with confused eyes and saw the answer even before he said it. “No Sabrina, I never went to anyone after I left you. Not ever, but especially not that night. It was too special, too memorable to tarnish.”

“I just always wondered.”

Dan stroked my knuckles with his thumb and his smile turned nostalgic. “That night was amazing, Bri. Walking out of that room was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

“But you didn’t have to,” I pointed out. “You could’ve stayed. In fact, I seem to remember begging you to do just that.”

“I know.” He leaned closer and cupped my cheek in his big palm. “I know.” He kissed my forehead before pulling back and looking into my eyes once again. “That night has haunted my dreams for ten years. Sometimes we finish what we started, but most times I wake up so hard I feel like I’m gonna explode.”

His lips gently touched mine. It started as a comforting kiss between two friends, but the old feelings took hold too quickly for either of us to stop them. Dan kissed me once again, this time it was less comforting and more possessive, more complete. I thought I would melt into a puddle right there on the couch.

His hands circled my waist and pulled me closer, our mouths never losing contact. I wrapped my arms around his neck, putting my breasts in contact with his brick wall of a chest. I felt as well as heard his groan before he opened his mouth fully over mine and thrust his tongue inside.

No one kisses like Dan. There must be something addictive in his saliva, because one taste of him and I immediately want more. Dan leaned forward, pushing me against the arm of the couch. I slid my sandals off and put my right leg on the couch behind his back. And the kiss went on.

He settled between my widespread thighs and his erection brushed against my center. Sensation shot through me, then exploded as Dan cupped my breast, and rolled my distended nipple between his thumb and forefinger. I arched my back, telling him in the only way I could that I wanted more. He didn’t disappoint.

By slow degrees, he drove me wild. First one breast, then the other received attention. His hips danced a slow, easy rhythm between my thighs and our mouths only parted long enough to allow us to breathe.

I pulled his shirt out of his pants and allowed my hands to roam over the broad expanse of his back. His muscles bunched and flexed beneath my fingers, and I wanted more. I was so into things, it took me a moment to realize that Dan was slowing down, pulling away.

“No,” I screamed in my mind and only realized I’d said it out loud when Dan kissed my forehead and whispered reassurances.

“Not like this, Bri,” he panted. “Not on the couch like a couple of horny teenagers.” His crooked smile looked sexy and seductive, and somewhat evil. “I want to stretch you out on my bed and love every inch of you.” His eyes glowed in the darkness and I shivered in anticipation. “Will you let me?”

The word yes was barely out of my mouth before Dan was leading me up the stairs to his bedroom door. A lamp on the nightstand cast a soft glow over the room. The king-sized bed sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by masculine furniture. Family photos hung on the walls, in lieu of the sports awards and memorabilia I’d always imagined would be there.

Dan stepped in front of me, putting an end to my perusal. He placed his hands on either side of my face. “Are you sure?”

I didn’t have to ask what he was talking about. I also didn’t have to think about my answer. “I’m sure,” I said. “I’ve been wanting this forever.”

“Me too,” he said, before crushing his mouth to mine.

His hands moved down my body, then back up, dragging my dress with them. The kiss ended just long enough to allow him to pull the silky material over my head.

Dan laid me in the center of his bed and looked his fill. Thankfully, I’d worn my sexy underwear.

“You are so beautiful,” he said. “Perfect.” He stroked his hand across my abdomen. “Soft.”

Before he started touching the really good parts, I reached out and unbuttoned his shirt. My fingers itched to touch him, so I did. His skin felt smooth beneath the tawny hair, stretched over well-developed muscles. I leaned forward and placed a kiss just above his right nipple.

He sucked in a breath, then pulled my mouth back to his and proceeded to kiss me senseless. Somewhere in the back of my mind it registered that Dan had unhooked my bra, but it wasn’t until I felt his mouth on my naked breast, that I realized it was gone.

As promised, he loved every inch of me. He nuzzled my breasts before moving up to my neck and nibbling on a particularly sensitive spot he remembered. Then back to my breasts where he sucked my nipples into tight, aching points. His hot mouth skimmed down my stomach and nibbled at my belly button.

The man reduced me to a melting puddle of want, unable to do anything but pant, moan, and eagerly await his next touch.

He hooked his fingers beneath the waistband of my panties and pulled them slowly down my legs. He stared for several heartbeats, heating me with his gaze, before he leaned down and kissed my knee. Slowly, deliberately, he inched his way up my leg, alternately kissing and nibbling my skin.

When he settled between my thighs and placed a kiss at their juncture, I nearly jumped off the bed. Dan placed a restraining hand on my belly as his eyes met mine over the expanse of my body. He continued his sensuous torture, laving and nipping and sucking until I didn’t think I could take any more.

I closed my eyes as though blocking out the sight of what he was doing would help dull the sensation, giving me a modicum of control. It only intensified the feeling, and when Dan slipped a finger inside me, I shattered. When I came back to reality, he was beside me, naked, condom in hand.

“This time, I’m not leaving,” he muttered, before engaging me in a no-holds-barred, tongue-tangling, toe-curling kiss.

“I don’t want you to,” I panted, ripping the condom from his hand. I pushed him onto his back and proceeded to touch him as I’d wanted to for so long.

I ran my hands over his chest, while nibbling on his neck, behind his ear. Slowly, I moved down, suckling first one, then the other nipple. Moving lower, I nipped his navel, as he’d done to me and was rewarded with a moan. His reaction was probably more due to the fact that my chin had brushed the tip of his penis than belly button sensitivity.

I raised my head and looked down before meeting his gaze. His green eyes glowed, begging. How could I refuse? I leaned down and ran my tongue along the length of him before taking just the tip into my mouth and sucking on it like a lollypop.

“Shit. Bri,” Dan moaned. “That feels…” He lost whatever he was going to say when I lowered my mouth, taking in as much of him as I could. I lifted my head, changing my angle, and lowered again, sucking and licking along the way and repeated the process over and over. I moaned deep in my throat, dragging a groan out of Dan. While I have done this particular act before, I can’t say I’ve ever enjoyed it so much. And Dan’s reactions spurred me on even more. I was just getting into it when Dan’s fingers tangled through my hair, stopping my movements.

“Stop,” he gasped. “Fuck. Please stop.”

I looked up. His face was twisted with what looked like anguish. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was in pain.

“Come here,” he said as he pulled me up the length of his body. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he asked. I assumed it was a rhetorical question, so I remained silent. “It was almost over for a second there,” he admitted around a wry smile.

“We certainly don’t want that, do we?” I said, as I ripped the condom open. I rolled it down the length of him, caressing along the way. I was ready to play again, but Dan had other ideas. Before I knew what was happening, I was on my back with him leaning over me. His hands pinned mine to the mattress just beside my head.

“I can’t have those clever hands on me, or I might embarrass myself.” He kissed me and settled between my legs. As his therapist, I should have been concerned about his leg, but I only had one thing on my mind and that was getting Dan inside me. I wrapped my right leg around his left, urging him closer. He complied.

The tip of his penis teased me and I arched my back, wanting him closer still. Again he complied and slipped inside. I gasped at the same time Dan groaned. He moved his hips slightly, barely rubbing himself against me. I reached down and squeezed his rear end urging him on. He pulled back slightly, then pushed forward and went nowhere.

“Bend your knees,” he panted. I did as he asked then proceeded to wrap my legs around his waist. This time when he flexed his hips, he slipped all the way inside. “Oh man, Bri, you’re so tight. So good.”

He kissed me and started pumping. I nearly lost it at his first thrust, but figured if he could be strong, so could I.

Dan pulled back and looked into my eyes and I thanked God I wasn’t dreaming this time. I’m not going to wake up in a pool of sweat, with the covers tangled around my legs, an unfulfilled longing throbbing between them. There may be heat and tangled covers, but I definitely won’t be left unfulfilled.

Dan groaned and picked up the pace. “Sabrina, you drive me crazy,” he said, his voice a mere rasp in my ear.

He pumped in and out in a fast rhythm and I lifted my hips to meet his every thrust. It didn’t take much of that before I got sucked into a vortex of sensation. I let out a long, hoarse moan as a fierce orgasm racked through my entire body, shaking me. Some part of my brain registered the fact that Dan had let out his own shout just before he collapsed on top of me.

Dan’s weight should have felt oppressive, but I relished in its feel. When he tried to pull off me, I wrapped my arms around his back and wouldn’t let him.

“I’m crushing you,” he said.

“It feels wonderful. Don’t move just yet.”

He rested his head on my shoulder for a moment before pulling back slightly and looking me in the eye. “Please tell me this isn’t a dream.”

I smiled and kissed his chin. “It’s not a dream,” I reassured him.

“Thank you,” he said and settled his head on my shoulder once again.

I can’t say how much time passed before I had to allow Dan to move. He shifted onto his side, and after ridding himself of the condom, pulled me into the circle of his arms. I rested my head on his shoulder, trying not to think too much, because if I did, I’d probably regret what just happened. And I don’t want to do that…not yet, anyway.

I snuck a quick peek at his face and my heart skipped a beat. His eyes were closed and his mouth curved into a soft, contented smile. My heart swelled. I swear I actually felt it swell in my chest.

It wasn’t just good sex—okay, great sex—that put that look on his face, I knew. It was more than simple physical release that made him appear so satisfied. So many emotions were involved. The reason I’m so certain is because I’d bet anything that before the panic took over, I’d had the same exact expression on my face. And before the panic entered my heart, all those emotions had filled me too.

Dan must have felt my gaze, because his eyes shifted my way. He squeezed me closer to him and placed a kiss on my forehead. “Please don’t, Bri,” he whispered. “It was too special to ever regret.”

“I…” I started, but Dan placed his index finger on my mouth, stopping the words from spilling out.

“Sabrina, I saw your face. You looked like a deer caught in a pair of quickly approaching headlights.” His sweet smile calmed me a bit. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Now there’s a question. Do I want to talk about it?

Yes. No. Maybe.

Hell, I don’t know. I do know that I have to be honest with him if we’re going to have any kind of chance.

I stiffened. Where the hell did that thought come from? A chance? A chance at what? Just because we had sex doesn’t mean we’ll live happily ever after, no matter how bright the afterglow.

“Don’t shut me out,” Dan said. His fingers exerted pressure on my chin, bringing my eyes into contact with his. “Please talk to me.”

Between his pleading tone and his even more pleading gaze, how could I refuse? I cleared my throat then pulled away from the safe harbor of his embrace. His eyes are distracting enough. I don’t need his touch muddling my mind.

“I don’t regret this, Dan. I’m just…” I gestured vaguely. “Confused, I guess is as good a word as any.”

“What about?”

“You. My reaction to you.” I shrugged. “Everything.” I’m normally a very articulate person, but now I don’t have a clue how I can make him understand the turmoil I feel.

“Dan, for two years I loved you. You were as essential to me as air. I didn’t think I could live without you. But I had to, and I did. And then I hated you for ten years.” I averted my gaze and focused on the blue sheet covering our bodies. Anything was better than seeing his reaction to my words. But hey, he asked.

“In my mind, I recreated you as someone I could hate, someone horrible, someone I could never love. I blamed you for every bad experience and failed relationship I had, when in fact it was my own insecurities that were at fault.” I chuckled. “Though some of the guys were jerks.”

“I’m sure they were,” Dan agreed, humor lacing his words.

His voice relaxed me, and I wanted to open up to him. I wanted him to understand how I felt all these years, why I reacted to him like I did when I first arrived.

I met his eyes again, knowing he’d be able to read my feelings even as he heard my words. “After I broke up with you, I was shattered. Thank God it was the end of the semester because I was an absolute mess. I went home and holed up in my room for a month. Kevin dragged me out and made me go places, but my heart wasn’t in it.”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I pulled myself together in time to go back to school, but when I returned it was awful. Everything reminded me of you. That’s when I created mutant Dan in my mind. It helped me get through senior year, but did very little for my personal growth.”

“What do you mean?”

“I shut myself off. Not from my family or friends, but from men.” He probably didn’t want to hear this, but he was going to anyway. “I didn’t give them a chance. I mean, on the surface I did, but in the back of my mind, I was always waiting for them to screw up, or at the very least do something I could turn into a major screw up.” My laugh sounded humorless. “The poor soul I dated right after you must still think I’m a psycho.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I went from hot to cold and back again in the blink of an eye. I tried to convince myself I was going to be casual about relationships, but that’s just not me. So one minute I’d be telling him we didn’t have to spend every waking minute together and the next I’d be grilling him about his whereabouts. Do you know what happened when I decided to have sex with him?”

Dan flinched at the question, but nodded anyway.

“I practically jumped him, but once it was over, I cried like a baby. He tried to talk to me, find out what was wrong, but I tuned him out. He left and called me the next day and told me he thought it would be best if we took a break.” I snorted. “Of course, I twisted it into he got his and now he wants out.”

“Why did you cry?”

“What?”

“Why did you cry? Did he hurt you?” The last question was asked through gritted teeth.

“No, nothing like that.”

“Then why?”

“Because he wasn’t you.” My voice was a mere whisper.

Dan remained silent and I looked up to see if he’d heard me. Oh yeah, he had. His eyes glowed with emotion. Before I could sort through them all, he pulled me to him and engulfed me in his embrace.

“I am so sorry, Sabrina.” His voice sounded thick. “I never meant to hurt you like that. You have to believe me.” He pulled back just enough to look into my eyes. “Please say you believe me.”

“I believe you.” And I honestly do. He looks too tortured to be lying.

“Thank you,” he said against my lips.

The kiss that followed was so sweet I nearly burst into tears. The loving that followed so languorous and tender, I actually did.

Dan kissed each teardrop away and smiled. “You don’t have to cry Bri, it’s me. And I’ll never hurt you again. I promise.”

Dan

I listened to Sabrina’s slow, easy breathing and pulled her closer to my side. She let out a little snore and snuggled in closer.

When I asked her out to dinner, I never dreamed our night would end like this. Making love to Sabrina was better than I’d ever imagined…and Lord knows I’ve imagined. In my dreams, I’ve kissed and touched her entire body, had her in every position humanly possible. But even the basics with Sabrina far surpassed any kinky fantasy I could dream up.

She’s amazingly responsive and so goddamn tight, I nearly lost it with the first thrust. Thankfully I was able to hold on so I didn’t totally embarrass myself.

Sabrina snuggled closer still, wrapping her arm further across my waist. Her contented sigh tugged at my heart. I pulled her in tighter and kissed her forehead. She started and looked up at me.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” she said, rubbing her eyes then looking around. “I should probably get to my room anyway.”

“Why?”

She moved away from me, putting about an inch of space between us. In my opinion, that’s an inch too much, so I shifted toward her until our bodies touched again. I thought she was going to move away, and was happy when she settled her head down on her pillow. I willed her to look at me, but she stared at the wall across the room.

“Because.”

“That’s not really an answer.” I ran my index finger down her jawline and squeezed her chin, nudging her gaze up to mine. “Why do you think you should go to your room?”

“I don’t know.” She blinked. “I don’t usually…I didn’t think you’d want…” She shrugged and her voice trailed off.

I moved my hand back so it cupped her cheek.

“Let’s get a couple things straight right from the start here. First, forget about whatever you usually do. This is us, and what’s between us is so special you can’t compare it to anything else.” I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. Brushing my thumb against her cheek, I continued, “And second, I always want you with me. Being here in my bed with you in my arms is like a dream come true and I’d like for it to last as long as possible. So please don’t go to your room. Spend the night here with me.”

Her shy smile flashed before I heard her say, “Okay.”

Cupping her face in my hands, I touched my lips to hers. I’d meant for it to be an undemanding kiss, but good Lord, the woman is delicious. I dipped my tongue inside for a better taste. The kiss went from zero to sixty in two seconds and I’m lost…in her, in the moment, just lost. Sabrina twisted her hands into my hair and moved closer, wrapping her leg around my waist.

How can I turn down an invitation like that?

Sliding my hand down her back, I cupped her ass, pulling her against my hardening cock. I nuzzled her neck, and she tipped her head, offering me better access. Finding the sweet spot behind her left ear, I nibbled and licked, and she squirmed against me, rubbing her soft core against my now raging erection.

She’s already so wet, it wouldn’t take much to slip inside, but I resist the urge. As much as I’d love to feel Sabrina skin on skin, we haven’t had that discussion yet, and I won’t take advantage. Instead, I move my hand between us and slide it back and forth, stopping at her clit just long enough to give it a light pinch.

She arched her back, rubbing her hard nipples against my chest. I licked my way down and sucked a hard nub into my mouth as I thrust my middle finger inside her.

“Dan, please.”

“Tell me, Bri,” I said, as I continued to lick and stroke her. “Tell me what you want.”

“Dan.” The word was a mere gasp of air.

I chuckled and bit down on her nipple, then soothed it with my tongue.

“Do you want more of this?” I asked, then slid my finger up to circle her clit. “Or this?” Moving my hand, I slipped my middle finger inside, curling it slightly to hit her sweet spot.

Her answering groan ended on a desperate plea. I’d planned to draw this out, to make her tell me what she wants in explicit detail, but her hot little noises and the way her inner muscles clamped my finger changed my plans. I slowly withdrew and plunged two fingers inside, their tips stroking, stroking, stroking, until Sabrina’s hips began to rock along with my movements. I shifted slightly so my thumb rubbed against her clit, and I latched onto her nipple, sucking in time with the thrusting of my hand.

Sabrina panted my name, over and over again, until she screamed as her entire body stiffened and her walls clamped down on my fingers. I slowly withdrew, dragging her orgasm out as she sagged into the pillow, a contented smile on her face.

I shifted onto my back, grabbed a condom off my bedside table, opened it, and rolled it on in record time. Taking me by surprise, Sabrina took advantage of my prone position and straddled my hips. With her hands splayed on my chest, she sat back and looked down at me, her tight nipples peeking through her hair.

Grabbing her hips, I pulled her forward, dragging her wetness against my hard cock. She rose up on her knees just enough to allow me to slip into her tight, wet heat.

“God Bri,” I moaned. “You feel amazing.”

Just when I was getting used to the feel of her surrounding me, Sabrina rocked her hips back and forth, pulling me further inside. She leaned back, digging her fingertips into my thighs as she rode me. Her position thrust her breasts front and center, and I needed to get closer.

Without breaking her rhythm, I sat up and wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling myself deeper into her, while I latched onto one nipple with my mouth and pinched the other between my thumb and forefinger. She whimpered and moved faster.

“You are a fucking goddess,” I said before kissing my way across her chest and tasting her other nipple. I sucked her deeper into my mouth. “Mmmm. Delicious.”

Sabrina arched and twisted her fingers into my hair. Her movements became more frantic and I tightened my grip on her waist.

“Dan.”

My name turned into a throaty moan as she tightened around me.

It was my turn to moan. “Come for me, Bri.”

She pulled at my hair, tossed her head back, and let out a sexy-as-hell scream as she milked me to my own orgasm.

Wrapping her arms around my shoulders, Sabrina collapsed against my chest, her heart pounding in time with mine. I scooted down until she was laying on top of me, her legs straddling my hips, my cock semi-soft, but still buried inside her.

I stroked my hand from her shoulder to her ass and back again, catching my breath as our heartbeats slowed together. I kissed her forehead and sated blue eyes met mine. I’ll admit that a sense of male pride washed over me at the look of pure satisfaction on her face.

“Hey,”

“Hey yourself.”

“You okay?” I asked, caressing her cheek.

“Mmm, never been better.”

“Me neither.” I kissed her forehead, then rolled to the side, resting Sabrina on her pillow. “I’ll be right back.”

I walked to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. Sabrina’s sleepy gaze watched me walk back to the bed. I climbed back in, pulled her into my arms, and dragged the covers up over her shoulders. She rested her head on my chest, relaxed against me, and let out a sigh. Within minutes, her steady breathing let me know she’d drifted off to sleep.

I kissed the top of her head and swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. If I hadn’t been such an asshole, we could have been sleeping like this for the past ten years. Since I can’t change the past, I’ll just have to make sure things between us are perfect going forward from here.