The future is everlasting, but the past is never-ending.
We composed ourselves by the time Blake’s mother, Grace, came to call us for dinner. She also brought me some spare clothes to wear, as well as a bag for my dress, which I was really grateful for. To my surprise, Ayden had become best friends with George, or so others told me, as they even went to venture those labyrinths together.
Almost everyone left the party except for the two of us and Ayden. Max and Melissa were already long gone, we were left with Blake’s family, Lucas excluded. He wasn’t around, and I was honestly glad for it. I was not sure how would my second meeting with him go. Blake, on the other hand, seemed overjoyed by the fact that man wasn’t with us and gladly ate with his family wearing a smile almost all the time. I, however, thought that he was creepy; anyone would if they saw Blake, who was usually frowning all the time, smiling for almost half an hour. That simply didn’t go well with me.
My mind, on the other hand, did what it knew the best: forget everything or push it aside until it came back at me ten times worse. Shaking my head, I focused on the conversation going on in front of the mansion as Blake’s mother tried to make us stay.
“Is it truly necessary to leave? You could’ve stayed for a few more days?” she spoke, and I understood that it was because she missed her son so much. Apparently, he rarely visited them and stayed the night. I studied his mother. She didn’t look older than thirty, yet I knew she was in her fifties. Her hair was black like Blake’s, but he didn’t get his looks from her but his father. I wondered if he didn’t like that. Why did he hate his father? Would he ever tell me?
“I know, but Kaley’s been feeling rather ill in the last few days, so we have to go home and make sure she’s taking her medicines,” Blake replied, throwing her an apologetic look, and she sighed. I almost elbowed him for putting the blame on me.
“Jesus, Blake. You can’t forget something so important. You should know better than anything how serious even an ordinary fly can get if unattended,” she scolded him. He frowned before shifting his gaze to me, avoiding his mother’s. My ears perked in interest. I could feel that her words had some deeper meaning, but I didn’t dare to ask.
“I know, mother. I know, but she’s okay. We already went to check on her, and it’s nothing too serious, just some stomach ache,” he mumbled, and she gasped.
“Blake!” He closed his eyes, knowing that he made a mistake. I regarded them with interest. Ayden became impatient from waiting and sad that George had to leave earlier to return Amy to Melissa who stayed to keep Ayden company. I was really happy that she cared for him and that Blake’s grandfather so easily accepted my little brother and me.
“I know, I know, mother. Which reminds me, we might need your help. The wedding is going to be in one month, and we…might not be able to pull it out ourselves.” He gave her a boyish grin. Her lips parted in surprise, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he said that the wedding was going to take place in a month or because he asked for help. I didn’t mind. I had no idea how to plan a wedding myself, and his mother seemed like a real lady and like she knew everything I didn’t—planning a wedding included.
“Isn’t that too soon?” she asked, and I could understand where that came from. Up until the previous day, they hadn’t even known about my relationship with Blake, and even I wasn’t sure of where we stood. And the first time they saw us together, they were suddenly faced with our plans for marriage—Blake’s actually—and were then asked to assist.
Even I wondered if we’re going too fast and still couldn’t get a proper answer. If my child were about to go through that, I would have been just as terrified and surprised. Guilt consumed me. What would she think if she found out that I was pregnant? I knew the first thought that would probably come up her mind is that I was using the baby as an excuse to make him marry me.
“Not really. I’ve known her for quite some time now.” Yeah, right. “And have already decided that she’s the one I’ll ever want to spend the rest of my life with.” He shrugged and glanced at me with admiration but with a hint of sadness as well.
I gulped. I knew that look I used to look Ayden with. He was still blaming himself for what happened. I was not Ayden. Ayden almost never saw me look like that, and when he did, he comforted me instead of blaming me. And I was not sure if I could handle to meet his look of pity whenever he took a glance at me. It would kill me all over again.
Ignore.
Listening to my inner self, I simply smiled at him as confusion passed through his eyes for an instant before it changed to relief. I could try to copy Ayden. He might’ve stopped if he came to believe that I didn’t blame him.
Did I? I was not sure if I actually blamed him or not. My mind was a chaos of conflicts whenever I was with Blake. Run or stay, everlasting ebb and flow I could not catch up to. Not until I managed to realize what were my true feelings and what I needed to adapt.
Shaking my head of those thoughts, I took his hand in mine, got on my tiptoes, then kissed his cheek, which made him blush a bit, stunned to say a word. My eyes widened.
Holy fucking cake, he just blushed! The tug on my lips soon turned to a giggle I couldn’t help, which made him do his usual smacking my head.
“Sorry, I just couldn’t resist. It was so cute,” I managed to blurt out, and not knowing what else to do, he stuck out his tongue at me, making his mother gasp. We both turned to her, his eyes looking already defeated for the scolding he was about to face.
“How dare you, Blake! That’s so barbaric,” she said, and he glared at me. What did I do? It was his fault, not mine. “I did not teach you to act like that toward this poor girl. Immediately apologize to Kaley,” she ordered, and he obeyed with a scowl on his face.
“Sorry for smacking your head…again.” He grinned, and I nodded in acceptance of his apology. A quiet sigh left my lips. Leave it to Blake not to apologize properly.
“Now, if you don’t mind, we shall get going,” he said, hugging his mother as she awkwardly patted his back, eyes wide. I could already say that he never acted this way toward her. Poor Grace looked like she hadn’t hugged her son in years.
“Have you also caught that fly?” she asked and frowned before she touched his forehead. He heartwarmingly laughed. He still wore the tuxedo from yesterday, making the sight of a full-grown businessman laughing without a care in the world seem even odder. I never knew when was the playful Blake going to pop out.
“From love, maybe,” he replied and then started hugging me out of nowhere. Talk about crazy hormones. I was the one that should’ve been an emotional wreck, not like I wasn’t at the moment. I couldn’t even sort out my own feelings.
“Kaley,” Grace called me, moving Blake aside who only lifted Ayden before going to the car. She hugged me. I didn’t know what else to do, so I allowed my arms to wrap around her as well. “Take care of my son.”
Care. She truly cared for Blake. I appreciated this woman. I didn’t know much of Blake’s relationship with his father, but his mother was something he should really be glad for having by his side.
“I will,” I replied in return, meaning it. As long as I was by his side, I’ll take care of him.
“Thank you…It’s been a while since I saw him smiling like this. You have a good influence on him,” she confessed as I glanced at smiling Blake who was bidding his goodbyes to everyone with Ayden on his shoulders. That was not true. If someone was leaving a good influence on someone, then it’s definitely Blake, not me. He changed me. I did nothing.
By the time I was about to enter the car, night had already fallen. Blake waited inside. Ayden tried his best to stay awake in the back seat but failed miserably as his eyes closed and opened all over again, and I smiled. Were we going to be like that with our own kid?
He glared at me. I frowned, wanting to torture him. Wait, where have those thoughts came from?
“It’s all your fault!” I said once I entered the car and put the safety belt on. Better safe than sorry. I bit my lip. My brain really had a way of toying with me.
“What?”
“You’re an evil creature. Now, I started thinking of all those evil and mean things like torturing you and…” I started rambling before he interrupted me, igniting the car.
“How is that my fault?”
“You’re taking out my evil alter ego!” I threw back. He raised his eyebrow questioningly for a second before he looked forward.
“How? Wait, what?” he asked in confusion as the car took off, his eyes never leaving the road. He automatically locked the doors, and I frowned. His driving paranoia…
“I was a good kid thinking about rainbows and same cra…cake, and now all I think about is how to kill you!” I exclaimed. He smiled and tried not to avert his eyes from the road. He seemed somewhat bothered, and it was then that I started assuming that something involving a car accident happened to him in the past.
Same. We were so different yet so similar.
“There’s nothing wrong with it. I think of killing you all the time when I’m with you…Except for this night, you were comfortable to sleep with. Want to join me tonight?” He shrugged it off while I only stared at him with my lips parted. Did he just…
“You…You…Well, you’re not bad yourself. You’re the most cuddlable creature ever.” I grinned, and he raised his eyebrow.
“Next time, I’m going to tickle you to death, and then we’ll see if I’m still the most cuddlable creature ever,” he said and frowned with mischief in his eyes. I jokingly gulped. Playful Blake knew to hit where it hurt.
“But you won’t prove your point if you kill me,” I said. Not really sure that it was going to work, but Blake usually went along everything I said. He pretended to gasp in surprise.
“I’ll think of something when the time comes.” He smiled as he glanced to his left before taking a turn. I only lay back in my seat with a comfortable sigh. How could he focus on driving and maintaining this crazy conversation of ours at the same time? I didn’t mind it, though. Conversation with him was pleasant and easygoing.
“You’re mean,” I mumbled and yawned.
“And you already said that,” I heard him say as I closed my eyes. I always thought that driving again was going to be scary, but with Blake and his ability to keep the conversation rolling, it was no longer like that. The first time I got closer to this car, I ran for miles. I was so concentrated on him that event with my parents never crossed my mind.
“And evil…”
“That too.” His voice was almost singing those comebacks to me. I didn’t open my eyes. Just enjoyed the moment.
“And…”
“Not a gentleman at all…Think of something better, sweetheart.” There’s it again: that word he put so much hatred in his voice back then when we met. Ignoring the sudden chills that crept up on me, I said the first thing that came up my mind.
“Shut up.” He laughed. I copied.
“Aye, aye, sir…I mean, madam.” Opening my eyes, I saw him wiggle his eyebrows, and I couldn’t help but honestly laugh at his childish behavior. Only Blake, only Blake…He did those things to me. He made me feel real. I couldn’t succumb to numbness anymore. I did things with joy because I actually wanted to do them.
“We should visit the store. Alfred went to visit his daughter because of the wedding, so no one was home for last two days. We need to get some food. I’ll cook,” he said, and I nodded. Pulling out on the parking, he unlocked the doors before turning off the cars. “Which reminds me, we should start getting ready with preparations for the baby, room and all. I want us both to pick everything on our own,” he said and smiled as he turned back to Ayden who was snoring silently. I wasn’t able to be with him for Christmas as I planned, but I think that he had so much fun to compensate for it. I felt guilty for abandoning him like that. I needed to be more around him. It was what I wanted after all. Free time to spend with my little brother.
“Sure, I’ll paint the room,” I said. I loved painting but stopped long ago, lacking the tools because I had no money. This was my chance to start all over again. As my attention was on those old happy days, I suddenly noticed Blake’s hand on my belly.
“Hurry up, kiddo. We can’t wait to meet you,” he whispered, and I placed my hands on his, getting comfortable and closing my eyes. It was the first time I closed my eyes after what happened that I didn’t even bother to think about the past. Instead, I focused my mind on our little family, on our future.
“What do you think it’s going to be? A boy or a girl?” I asked him as he leaned down to kiss my belly. There were no changes, maybe a slight bump so far, but nothing that would indicate that I was pregnant.
“I don’t know, but I don’t care either. I’m going to love it whatever it ends up being, though having a boy wouldn’t be so bad. I’d have someone to take on my business and take care of you and the rest of them when I’m not at home. Having a girl might make her life troublesome. Business is harsh on women nowadays, too many judgemental eyes,” he mumbled, and I fought the urge to gasp. How far in the future did he set his sights on? He was ready to accept our child. He wasn’t going to mistreat it or something.
He cared. He genuinely cared.
“The rest of them?” I asked about his first statement. What did he mean by that?
“Well, if you ask me, one is definitely not enough…But the choice is on you, it’s not like we’re…a normal couple,” he said and chuckled weakly. I nodded. Little by little, I came to warm up to this man. I always wanted a big family, now that I thought of it, but with Blake? Was I really ready for it to be with Blake? It’s just like he said, we were trying to start as friends.
Some friends we are, we kissed. Twice!
“That was pretty fast,” he suddenly said, and I followed his gaze to see him looking at sleeping Ayden. Our conversation already in the past, I knew that it was going to happen again, but then, I’ll hopefully be prepared to answer properly.
“He can fall asleep anywhere. It’s quite convenient actually,” I mumbled. He nodded before gripping his chin where beard started appearing. Three or four days old, I’d say.
“Do we leave or wake him up?” I asked, and he shrugged.
“I don’t have the heart to. Let’s just lock the car. It’s pretty safe inside,” he spoke, more to himself than me, and I nodded. I trusted Blake. At that moment, I realized that I trusted Blake enough to leave my little brother in his car, alone. That wasn’t my way of adapting; it was a genuine feeling.
Real trust.
It was nice having someone like that in my life. Ayden was one, I wouldn’t even think of doubting him, but Blake is someone I didn’t know since birth. He was someone I met and someone I decided to trust, someone I bonded with…Did it even make sense?
However, what I found out that night was that shopping with Blake could be oddly interesting and fun, and nothing to repeat under normal circumstances.
“Come to think of it, you’ll need some necessities for yourself,” he said and moved me to the part where I could find all I needed.
“I’ll buy what I need some next time,” I told him, but he was already looking at some Venus razors and took a few before I could even say something. Only Blake could do that nonchalantly, even I had problems buying razors and napkins for myself, especially if it was a guy who was the cashier. Blake, on the other hand, simply threw in the casket whatever he deemed necessary and moved on like it was a completely normal thing. Except he was the only person in a tuxedo in the entire convenience store. And it was a normal thing to shop. It was my problem for being shy. I needed to grow a pair.
Shopping ironically took longer than intended, and after some half an hour later, we got all we needed and went to pay, while elderly couples passing by were gawking at us and talking about how cute we looked. I blushed. Blake would hug me or kiss my head, giving them a show to watch while I could only shake my head at him.
He and his need to show off. And a few minutes later, we were finally on our way back home.
It was so strange to know that I now had a home I no longer had to worry about, the one I shared with someone other than Ayden. We were always having problems with rent; I won’t lie. I was always afraid that we’d get kicked out, but now I could enjoy knowing that we’re safe. But back to the shopping deal, Blake was impossible.
“I’m never going with you to shop for my necessities again, Blake! Ever.” I desperately sighed. He once again kept his eyes on the road as he drove. Ayden still didn’t wake even after all this time.
“Why?” Confusion lacing his words, he had a cute frown on his face I was already too familiar with.
“Why? That old woman was glaring at us for all the commotion we made. You wanted to attack her for a single deodorant!” Seriously, no over-exaggerating here.
“She could’ve picked any other. I liked the smell of that one for you.” He shrugged. I slammed my head into the seat, already giving up.
“Blake.” I sighed. There’s no point in arguing with him. I was not really angry at him or something, but he was such a child. To make the thing worse, there was only one of those deodorants left. I had to apologize to the old lady, drag Blake away, and make him shut up and not complain for the rest of our shopping, which was hard, meeting that woman again after every two minutes!
“You won’t win this one, and you know I’m right. We picked it first.” Actually, we picked it at the same time. “She didn’t want to let go of it on purpose!” he exclaimed, raising one of his arms, which terrified me, as he was still driving the car.
“Hands on the wheel, Blake! Both,” I said, gripping my chest, and he chuckled, taking it calmly. He was always careful about driving. Why was I even doubting him?
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I know what I’m doing. I would never be careless when driving.” It was the second time he said that word. I gulped. I couldn’t. It was too much.
“Blake, can you please not use that word?” I weakly mumbled, averting my gaze from him. My hands suddenly became an interesting thing to stare at.
“Which one?”
I opened my mouth to say something but couldn’t. Gulping, I tried again, knowing I had to. We wouldn’t be able to make any progress if I didn’t try as well. He was trying. He even apologized, asked me to move in, marry him, took me to the doctor, and brought me to meet his family. I need to try to be comfortable around him. He needed to know what I didn’t like about him.
“Swee-sweetheart…It’s giving me chills,” I mumbled as his eyes widened. He realized. He thought fast; that I learned about him. He was good at analyzing and had a way with words the way only he knew of.
“I’m sorry…I won’t use it again,” he said, and I nodded, leaning on the window, closing my eyes, and sighing in relief. Good, I could live with that. I was grateful he figured it out on his own. I don’t think that I would’ve been able to explain it myself.
“Munchkin?” he asked.
“Hmm?”
“Is ‘munchkin’ alright with you?”
“Sure.” I nodded, blushing. How the hell did he come up with that nickname, anyway?
“Then it’s a deal.” He gave me his pinky finger, eyes always on the road, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his childish behavior before locking it with my own. Playful Blake was my favorite. With him, I could live.
When we came home, Blake gave me the paper bags and keys of the house as he went to the back seat.
“Go inside. I’ll take care of him,” he told me as he picked him up. I nodded before exiting and heading inside first. “Let’s go, buddy,” he mumbled as Ade clutched into a ball in his arms.
“Thanks,” I told him, and he nodded.
“It’s fine. You go to the kitchen, and I’ll come after I put him in his bed, okay?” he asked and went with a smile as we parted our ways.
“Sure.” Since Ayden’s room was on the floor above, the two of them disappeared shortly after they climbed up the stairs as I headed to the kitchen.
However, nothing could’ve prepared me for the next thing I saw as I slowly entered inside.
A half-naked blonde was sitting on his kitchen counter, and her horrible voice ringed in my ears as she loudly exclaimed before even turning around.
“Blake, honey! I’ve come home. Shall we have some fun tonight?”
Who the fudge was that crazy witch?
Surprises are meant to be part of our lives. They weren’t really different than the future we know nothing about. Both can be pleasing and painful. But there was something so wrong and terrible with stumbling and messing with a surprise set for another.
And fuck my future for letting me face right that.