Friends are those who will make you laugh no matter what, especially when you’ve thought that you’d never smile again.
Should I really do it?
Was that the right thing to do?
Could I live with that decision if I did it?
So many questions were on my mind at that moment. Is having an abortion really the best option for me?
I mean, I was taking care of Ayden and all, but would I really be able to take care of a newborn baby without knowledge of how to raise one? Even if I couldn’t do it and end up giving it for adoption, I was sure that grief would eat me alive, but abortion would be much worse. Was I really capable of killing a baby?
My baby?
I know what most people would say: that thing is not even alive, it’s just an embryo. But I couldn’t agree to that. The moment it was created, it became a living thing, or so I wanted to think.
I know I was just an eighteen-year-old girl. I was supposed to be finishing my senior year at the moment, yet here I was, one month into my pregnancy. With a child of a man who was number one on my list of people I hated. My body shivered from it. It was the beginning of December, the winter and my most favorite part of the year. But I loathed it now. It was at times like this my parents died in the cold snow. Three months ago, I became an adult, but two years ago, on the very same date, I became an orphan.
Even so, I could raise my child, couldn’t I? I might not give him or her the best things in the world he or she deserves, but…I can give him or her love. I’m sure Ayden would love him or her too. Melissa will definitely be there for me and…That’s right, I still have a third of the money I got from him in the bank.
It wasn’t little. I could use it for the baby. Maybe find a better flat somewhere. I could even find another job if necessary if I decided to keep the baby.
But I was afraid.
The baby was going to grow up one day. What would I do if he or she asked me about his or her father? I couldn’t deal with it. It would be too painful for me, too agonizing to even think of that man and the circumstances under which was my future child made.
What would I do if someone else asked me about his or her father? Would I be able to stand the pressure?
My thoughts were shortly interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing; I saw it was Mel and so I answered it up.
“Hey, Kay-Kay, I need your—I mean can I ask you for something? A little favor for our long and beautiful friendship?” Her voice was sugar-coated, and I immediately knew that she wanted something from me. But what? She almost never needed anything from anyone.
“Sure, just say what you need,” I said, acting all innocent like I didn’t know about her hidden intentions.
Melissa was never a sweet-talker when it came to grown-ups, you see. She cursed a lot, yelled a lot, but was literally a fairy with children; the younger, the better.
“You are the only one that can save me now. I don’t have anyone else I could ask.” Of course, old, lil Mel, she could go on and on with her conversation until she managed to entangle you in her plans so deep that you just couldn’t get away unless you said yes.
“What is it so important that you need my genius mind?” That was the reason why I liked talking to her; she took my mind off any worries. It took one to hear just a sentence of some story she had to tell and became enraptured in listening to it until the very end. At times as such, one could forget everything.
“Well, are you free on Saturday night…and the day after, actually?” She trailed off, and I confirmed that I was wondering what was she scheming this time? I swear to Santa if she’s just trying to set me a date or something…
“Alright, the thing is…Were you just sobbing? Oh my God, you were, have you been? Of course, you’ve cried. What happened? Who do I kill? Is everything all right? Where are you?”
Shoot, I forgot about that. Stupid sniffles. Think, Kaley, think!
“Umm, it’s stupid. I tripped and hurt my leg, so I am at the hospital checking it out. Nothing serious, but it hurts so damn much.” I nervously laughed at the end and hoped that she would believe it.
She did. Pure luck.
“Damn it, woman. You are so clumsy that I’m afraid to take my eyes off you even for a second.” She sighed, and I almost did a victory dance then and there, celebrating my clumsiness and lying skills. I stopped. It was not a good thing to praise bad things about me. It was as if I were turning evil.
“Oh right, forget about that. You know my family? The one I said I loathed but fixed…Well, more or less, I’d rather marry Satan than sign a peace treaty with all of them…Oh fuck, I’m going to some stupid party my grandfather threw. I have to actually, and Amy will be all alone, so I’ve been wondering if you could come to babysit her? If I’m not mistaken, they’re letting Ayden go the same day, so you can bring him over!” she added, and it was my time to sigh.
What do I have to lose?
“Fine, fine, I will,” I said, and she went silent for a second, worrying me. Was she alright?
“Wow, that was fast. I didn’t even have to try,” she said, making me burst out laughing. Oh how I needed this in my life, especially now of all times.
“Go away before I change my mind.” I chuckled, and she only replied with a sarcastic laugh that made me shiver. I swear she was evil. Pure, pure evil.
“Right,” she finally said, and I could see her rolling her eyes at me. “But you are still coming, aren’t you?” How could I say no? She would anyway annoy me for the whole day until I said yes.
“Of course, it would be my pleasure” Not, never when it comes to you. Just my luck, she wouldn’t be there, just Amy and Ayden, so I would survive. Somehow.
“Great, I will come and pick you up. Take care,” she said and ended the call with that. She was overly cheerful for her age sometimes. How old was she? Oh yeah, twenty-five, but she acted more like a five-year-old, though.
Once again my internal battle was interrupted, this time by a knock on the door.
“Come in!” I said, and Max’s head popped in. Where did he go to, anyway?
“Ready to go?” he asked, and I nodded, standing up. I grabbed my belongings, which weren’t much, and started walking. He said nothing, had not even asked what was wrong to me, and I had a feeling that he knew, but I didn’t want to push my luck and make him find out in case he didn’t. I hugged my arms and rubbed them. I was still cold.
Freezing even.
Once we were in the elevator, he must have noticed that I was cold, so he took off his jacket and placed it around me to warm my body. I weakly mumbled thanks as I rubbed my nose, feeling like I could sneeze. His jacket was really warm and comfy.
And oddly enough, it made me feel safe. Relaxed.
After a short period of silence, he was the first one to speak.
“Look, I don’t know what happened, but if you need any help, just call me, and I will be there faster than Superman to come for you and make you feel better.”
His voice was stern and serious but had a cheerful ring to it. I glanced at him and smiled.
“Thanks,” I mumbled again as he grinned, noticing my reddened cheeks I was pretty sure was caused by the cold.
“Ooh, is that because of me?” He was mocking me, and it took all of my willpower to stop myself from killing him.
“Or rather because of your manliness, which is amusing to me because you suck at it.” There you go. I stuck my tongue out at him.
Max and I had our usual quarrels. We weren’t the closest of friends, but we could talk freely. I mocked him for being adorable; he mocked me for being boyish. Melissa usually just ate popcorn while enjoying the show, but seriously, those five times we argued she was munching on some popcorn from who knows where.
He placed his hands on his heart, pretending to be wounded and dying, and I just rolled my eyes.
“Don’t you die on me. You still have to beat Superman, remember? Now, get up. You are too cute for your own good.” I don’t think I had smiled like that in a long time, but his face was full of terror like he just saw a ghost.
“You did not just go there. But you did!” He was looking at me with disbelief on his face and speaking with terror in his voice, making me even more amused.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right…Cuteness and a little manliness.” I closed my right hand before putting it on my left palm like I just got two and two together. “There is a little of it, just a little…Yup, that’s it: you are adorable.” I hugged him out of nowhere, squishing him.
“I’m dying. You’re killing me! You’re seriously killing me.” He continued to fake dying, now acting like he was losing air.
“At least, be proud to die in the good arms of this amazing person. Not everyone has the chance to do that.” He was so easy to joke and talk with. I was truly glad to have him in my life. Both him and Melissa and everyone else that cared for me. I was just a fool for taking it for granted.
“Never start an argument with a woman who knows how to argue and states that you are cute, or she will make you look like a complete fool,” I repeated words Melissa would usually say which were actually true. Trust me. I had witnessed Mel doing so thousands of times with him, so I guess that was where I picked it up. He only snorted at me like I was no longer a human being. I grinned in return.
“Why, why did you become friends with her? She’s evil.”
On that, we both agreed.
“We are here. Where am I to drop you off?” he said once we heard the sound of the elevator doors opening.
“I still can’t believe I think of you as of my sister,” he grumbled. I couldn’t help but grin mischievously.
“I’m just doing what all younger sisters are supposed to do: annoy their older brothers until we feel satisfied.” I faked an evil laugh but failed as I end up coughing. Max only scowled once again and kept on grumbling under his breath as I followed after him.
“I hate you. You know that?” he said, and I faked being hurt by his words but couldn’t hold my facade and burst out laughing again.
“Nah, you actually do love me. Don’t deny it.” I rapidly blinked with what I called my puppy eyes, pouting my lips just a little.
“How can I say no to that face?” He face-palmed himself, and I grinned.
I was never close to Max like I could share secrets with him, but truth to be told, I felt more comfortable around him. He might have just become my new brother. I didn’t need to know much about him, now that I think of it. Secrets and past were one thing, but the Max I cared for was the Max I knew at the moment, and that was enough for me.
“Get in, or else, I’m leaving you to run home,” he said, entering his gray Mercedes-Benz, and I almost whistled at it. If I loved something, that was most definitely Mercedes.
“You wouldn’t!” I yelled, pretending to be like one of those overdramatic ladies in soap operas.
“Oh yes, I would.”
With that, I entered the car, believing him because he did it to some close friend of his before as he told me, and then he drove off toward my home.
It was the first time after everything that happened to me that I enjoyed a moment without thinking about the bad things that happened recently. I was truly enjoying my time with Max as he drove me home.
We sang along the radio, but our voices were those of two dying hyenas, so we couldn’t even get past the chorus without laughing like maniacs.
And then I decided. I didn’t care if I had to work two jobs to raise my baby. I didn’t care if I had to buy us a new place. I didn’t even care about the pain I had been put through.
Because I decided with my whole heart I would keep the baby and raise it the best way possible.
We people take hope and good times for granted. We only realize how precious things are to us once we have lost them, and I didn’t want to be like that. I didn’t want anything else taken from me. Therefore, I decided to protect what I had with my own two hands.
No matter how small they were.