It doesn’t matter how long you have been preparing for some moment. Once you come to it, you’re as good as a lost kitten. That’s when you’ll have to listen to your heart instead of your brain.
“Wifey, wakey wakey!” I heard a sing-song voice calling out for me, waking me from my peaceful slumber. What happened? Where was I? Who do I fight? Who was waking me up?
Opening my eyes, I came to realize one thing, and that’s I had been lying on Blake’s lap where I certainly fell asleep. Raising my head lazily, I glanced at him who was smiling adoringly at me, so I only sent him my best smile I had at the moment, hoping that I didn’t look like a monster or something.
“We’re about to land. Come. I have to tie you up,” he joked before helping me sit back in my seat, which was next to his. He put the safety belt for me.
We were traveling to Greece, as Blake had explained to me, to his beach house, and Blake wouldn’t be Blake if he didn’t have a private jet. Business stuff, as he said, perks of being a CEO. I didn’t even bother to complain about him misusing his position because I had the feeling that he was going to come out victorious out of that argument.
“We’re already there?” I asked nervously, and he nodded. One would’ve thought that I was nervous about being in a foreign land or excited for being married, but the truth was far more different than it.
I was actually nervous because of my sleep deal with Blake. Last time, it had been nothing but pain for me, but as far as I know and after Melissa’s five hours of “sex will be the activity where you’ll feel the most pleasure in your entire life” speech, I began to be cheerful. She was drunk, though. Girls’ night out is a terrifying thing, trust me. She even forgot that I have already done the deed with Blake.
And just like that, I was no longer so sure about it, not when it that was about to happen in a few minutes. I doubted that we were going to be driving for hours.
Too bad.
C’mon, Kaley. Bite that damn tongue of yours! Not everything in your marriage could be roses and peaches. You needed sex in it, dammit! Face the reality. He’s a man.
A man with an extremely yummy body and the mind of a genius and a witty personality, but nonetheless, a man that looks like a sex machine. And what did a man like him need? Banging! That’s right, banging! Which, tonight, you will give to him. Why? Because you’re a woman! His woman! And you don’t want him to do it with some other woman now, do you? Mel hadn’t packed all that silky lingerie for nothing, now. You will go in that room where you’ll stay, strip down, get in the damn bed, and do your job! It couldn’t be that hard.
Right?
Oh, for Spongebob’s sake, this isn’t your first time! You’re even pregnant, woman! What is so hard about being naked, skin to skin with Blake lying on the same mattress as he pierce—okay, it is going hurt. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t!
I didn’t have a pretty body. He had told me so on that night. He was going to be disgusted by me. Blake was probably just going to turn his head and go to sleep, and that was probably the same reason why he hadn’t tried anything with me yet, covering it with that “not trying to hurt me” act.
“Don’t worry. It’s a lovely place out there, and there won’t be many people. We have the beach for ourselves, munchkin.” He smiled at me, holding my hand reassuringly, and I nodded, hiding my real thoughts.
“Yeah, we can bathe…Hold on, it’s winter! We can’t bathe in there.” I suddenly remembered, and he only grinned.
“We have our own pool for that, but don’t worry. I heard that it’s so hot in Greece right now, so we can walk on the beach barefoot,” he winked at me, and I blushed, my thought shifting on other ideas we could do barefoot on that beach. That thought itself made me blush even harder. What have I gotten myself into?
“And don’t worry too much. If you catch a cold, I’ll nurture you all the time in our bed, until you’re healthy to run around again.”
Fuck.
Around an hour later, we were driving in some black BMW I didn’t know much about; maybe it was rented, or maybe it belonged to Blake. I was too busy focusing on what was to come to question his way of handling our honeymoon. It was around six or seven o’clock in the morning; I wasn’t sure. As we drove, I saw the beach house coming in our view and gasped.
The sky had become a canvas to a spectrum of pink and blue that fought and left their traces on it. A few stars were still visible, but my eyes were not able to catch them for longer than a few seconds before they disappeared, erasing every trace of their place in the limitless sky above. The clouds were almost gone when the sun started its wake. The sea reflected everything, making it hard for me to say where another started and one ended. The car came to a halt due to the traffic lights, giving me a chance to snuggle in my seat before I sneaked a look at Blake who stared at me. The intensity of his gaze hit me so hard that I had to remove my own from it and look back at that captivating view.
How could he do that to me in just a second?
How could he have that effect on me?
It was only when the car took the next turn that I was able to see a simple glass house with a pool in front of it. A few torches were around it. My breath stopped looking at it, then at Blake who nodded, confirming my thoughts—it was where we were going to stay at.
“Welcome to our beach house,” Blake exclaimed once he parked the car before he got out and came to my side, opening the door. He offered me his hand. I didn’t hesitate to take it. “We’ll be spending our next three weeks here, all alone.” He wiggled his eyebrows, and I only blinked as I got out before gulping at his proximity.
In one swift movement, he lifted me up as he headed toward the entrance where some guy stood, older than both of us I assumed. He looked like he worked in security. I couldn’t see the color of his eyes, but his hair was black, just like the bit of beard he had, matching his black clothes. I would’ve taken him for a robber if he hadn’t introduced himself.
“Mr. and Mrs. Blackburn, I’m Bryan, the one assigned for taking care of your house. Do you need anything?” he asked in a professional voice as he opened the doors for us, letting us come inside.
“Just take care of the car and bring the bags in. Leave them in the living room, and you’re free to go. We’ll be doing everything on our own for the next three weeks,” Blake answered in a voice that was also professional, making me fight my urge to roll my eyes. Fine, you alpha animals, have it your way.
“Yes, sir.” Bryan nodded before closing the doors and going to wherever he needed to, leaving me alone with Blake in the house.
How wonderful.
“I’m going to leave you in our room while I take care of our bags. You can take a shower in the meantime,” he said, and I nodded, liking the idea of being away from him for a while. I could use that opportunity to relax for a bit.
He gave me a quick peck on my lips, and then he was gone. At that moment, I knew that I wanted to do it, knowing that there was no more going back for me.
I went to the bathroom, got out of my dress, stepped into the shower, and embraced the warm water, careful not to wet my hair. I would’ve hated to deal with it later.
As I got out, I dried myself with a fluffy white towel and wrapped it around my body; then I headed back to our room so I could take one of the lingerie Mel packed for me. However, when I got out, there was Blake sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at the phone. Hearing me, he turned around, immediately leaving it on the nightstand once his eyes landed on me. My urge to smirk lost to the creeping blush on my cheeks as I came to fully understand my situation, taken by those lustful eyes of his. It was now or never, I told myself. With a loud inhale, I loosened the grip on my towel, letting it fall down to my feet. Air whistled through his clenched teeth, shattering the deaf silence in the room.
“Kaley…are you…are you sure?” he asked, not believing the situation he was in, and I nodded, biting my lip nervously. I wanted to tell him not to ask, to just come and do what he had to do instead. But my lips were sealed for long sentences, as I was only able to voice out two words.
“I am.” A simple response but enough for him to get up and head toward me. I barely stayed in place as my instincts told me to run back and hide from him, yet my soul told me to proceed further.
I chose to listen to the latter.
“Surely sure?” he repeated, and I nodded once again. The more this dragged on, the more I started to doubt myself and him wanting me.
“Good. Because I really want to take you in this bed, right here and right now.” And just like that, gone was doubt and fear that lurked around me. As he whispered those words seductively at me, he used his right hand to remove the tie around his neck, and for some reason, the whole order of events made my knees go weak. Getting in front of me, he bit his lip, looking like he was debating with himself. My fear came back. I thought it was because of my ugly body. I was about to run when his lips suddenly crashed on mine, making me gasp in surprise. In a second, he slipped his tongue in my mouth.
Where was fear at that moment to stop me? Where was doubt at that moment to make me run away? Call it fate or whatever you would, but at that moment, I knew I belonged in his arms. I knew that I was doing the right thing by staying by his side.
His hand trailed an alluring line on my leg as he pulled it upwards, which made me jump. He then moved to the bed, laying my body down on it as he towered above me. I bit my lip. It was really happening.
“So beautiful,” he murmured between his kisses he assaulted my chest with, and I shook my head. I wasn’t.
“What’s wrong? Do you want me to stop?” he asked, concerned. I simply shook my head again. Worrying Blake was panicked Blake.
“No, I’m not,” I said and sighed defeatedly.
“What?”
“I’m not beautiful…I have an ugly body.” I fought the tears in my eyes, but he gently gripped my face, making me look at his blue eyes.
“That’s not true. You are beautiful.” He said each word in between the kisses he planted on my lips, leaving me breathless again and again. My doubts now fogged, I focused on this man’s words, on the brighter picture, without caring even if he was lying.
“Why would you think of such a ridiculous thing?” he asked as he moved his lips to my neck, his hands long left my head as they roamed wherever they seemed fit. My breathing quickened. I was losing myself in his touch, in the way he caressed me, unable to lie to him as I told him what had been bothering me. I couldn’t make it with actions alone. With Blake, words were needed to grow stronger. To grow closer.
Together.
“You said so…” I did not mean to say it that way, so cold, so…straightforward. I averted my eyes as he suddenly stopped. His head left the crook of my neck. I sighed as I turned to stare at him. We were looking at each other eye–to–eye.
“What?” He glanced at me confusedly before something clicked in his eyes, recognition maybe. I gulped, suddenly not daring to look at his eyes. I turned my head, shielding my face from his gaze, not knowing what to expect.
His lips were back on mine. My eyes widened again. He moved my face so that I was looking back at him. His lips moved gently, tenderly, and lovingly against mine as if he was trying to explain to me how sorry he was, how much he cared for me. How much he loved me. And so I allowed my lips to move in synch with his, moaning as his hand found its way to my right breast, pinching it, making me squeal from surprise before he his lips moved away, leaving me needy and wanting more.
Pandemonium of sweet torture, everlasting bliss of passion he ignited in me.
He always did that to me. Igniting something, making me feel alive, making it seem like something good has finally started to happen to me as well.
“You are so fucking beautiful, and I was such a fucking retard for saying otherwise. You are not ugly. You are the most beautiful woman I ever laid my eyes on, Kaley…Blackburn,” he said and smiled, luring out the same movement from my lips. Romantic Blake or playful, which do I take him to be then?
I weakly nodded, forcing myself to believe in his words.
I am beautiful.
“What else did I say?” he asked, and I bit my lip, but he pinched my breast again, making me look at his serious stare with his eyebrow up. I gulped. I felt like I was on trial; he was a judge that wanted to know every single detail, daring and urging me to speak more, to confess the truth. The thing with Blake and me was that silence did nothing to us. The only progress we could make was with conversations. I wanted to progress. I wanted this relationship of ours to work. I just hoped my mouth didn’t ruin it.
“That I’m wor–wort–worthless.” I choked on my words, and before I even knew it, his lips were sucking the same breast he pinched a few minutes. He twirled his tongue around it, and the room was suddenly filled with my moans. Oh, what his tongue did to me. The way he bit my skin leaving it sensitive.
I couldn’t understand what was happening to me. The last time was far from being this…beautiful. I couldn’t even find the right words to describe it.
“You are not worthless. You are so smart, so good, such an innocent person,” he said before kissing my breast once again. “You took care of your brother—” he kissed it again “—and you finished your school earlier due to that smart little brain of yours. You taught me of love. You showed me things I didn’t know nor understand.” He licked my skin all the way to my left breast before looking at me with those eyes filled with…Lust? Care? Need? Love?
“What else did I say?” he asked before attacking it with his merciless mouth the same way he did with my right one. My back arched, but he used his hand to hold me down to the mattress. It was agonizing not being able to move while he gave me this pleasurable torture. I groaned in protest, which only made him chuckle.
“Shhh,” he said. “I want to feel every part of you and worship your body, wife.” He hissed seductively, if that was even possible, like all this waiting was painful for him, and I gulped. That didn’t help at all!
I just wanted him more.
“What else did I say?” he asked again as his hand trailed lower and lower down there. Oh, the feeling was intense. My body arched on its own, yet he held me down once again.
“Th–that I’m…selfish bi–bitch.” This time, a tear escaped from my eye, and in an instant, his face was in front of mine again as he kissed my eyes with a soothing hum.
It hurt.
It hurt so much. Every word from that night hurt—a twisting knife to my soul, tearing it apart, wounding me with invisible scars I had ignored until now. I didn’t want that. I wanted for words to become sweet, for the knife to be plugged out, for the scars to heal already.
I truly wanted to move on, not because of some ignorance, not because I hoped that he’ll get better and never hurt me again. Every single person is bound to keep hurting you until the day you die. You can only find someone who’s going to be worth that torture.
And to me, that someone was Blake.
I won’t say that what he did to me in the past was right because it most definitely wasn’t. I won’t justify it because there’s nothing to be justified. I was partially wrong back then, and so was he. What had happened was a consequence of both our faults, and it would be so unfair if I tried to blame only him.
I was going to be the bigger person.
For us.
I won’t destroy that which we came to have because it’s something I’ve wanted since I was just a child. A loving husband and a family. Home.
“Shh…If there truly are lies in this world, then the biggest one would be that I had spoken. You aren’t selfish. Look at all the things you have done for Ayden no matter how much it hurt you. And a bitch? If someone were a bitch, then it’s me.” He chuckled. “That word so described me. Look at how much of a jumping rabbit I was, like seriously, even Regina?” That made me giggle as well. “You are an angel, Kaley. Don’t let anyone tell you the otherwise. If they do, show them your middle finger. You’ll be an angel showing a middle finger.” He grinned. “C’mon, do it!” he said and smiled. Do what?
“Show me your middle finger. C’mon,” he said excitedly, and I shook my head. There’s no way I’d go for it! It was the oddest way things could’ve escalated to. How did we come to that from being beautiful? Or trying to do the deed.
“C’mon, I told you to show it to anyone who insults you. I did it and…Please?” I shook my head again. “Pretty please?” He raised his eyebrow, and I sighed in defeat. Fine!
Moving my hand reluctantly, I showed him what he wanted, making him laugh out loud with the silliest face in the world. Playful Blake knew of no limits, and I rolled my eyes at the things only he could think of. Or was this apologetic Blake?
“That’s my wife!” he exclaimed before crashing his lips with mine once again, and I knew that I was never going to get bored with kissing him. As his body moved next to mine, touching, calling, and assessing it like a predator, I felt him hard as he rubbed his member on mine. The thin fabric of his pants was the only thing that separated us from becoming one. I bit my lip as I moaned. I wanted him naked.
His hand was touching me provocatively down there, going lower and lower before penetrating me, earning a gasp from me. The feeling was…wild yet blissful, rough yet gentle. Intoxicating in its way.
Never in my life did I think I was going feel like it.
“So tight…” He groaned next to my ear before removing his head and going in between my legs. He wouldn’t…
“You so want me, don’t you, munchkin?” he spoke. I shook my head, trying to hide it, yet he only smirked before licking his lip. “Why? Your face says one thing, yet this wet kitten speaks of a completely different story.” My eyes widened. I had no idea what he just told me meant. I cursed my lack in the sexual field. I had not known this one fact since I never really had a need for it. I never even masturbated before!
“I want to taste you.” I saw him licking his lips again as I shook my head. What if didn’t taste right, what if…
Before my panic could rise more, his face had disappeared from my sight, and the next thing I was aware of was his tongue on me, licking my entrance as his finger went inside, twirling between my walls, going in and out. A loud, surprised yelp filled the silence of our room as he breathed out above my entrance, bringing goosebumps all over my body. My previously relaxed nipples hardened again. I threw my head back in the pillow as my back arched. This time he didn’t pin my body back to the bed. There simply aren’t words I can use to describe what was going on with my body, but truth to be told, I couldn’t think of anything else besides his name, in my head.
“Blake…” I hissed from the pleasure I was in, and that seemed to please him because he suddenly grinned as he added another finger inside of me.
“This is easily going to become my favorite treat,” were the only words he said, and just as I came back to my senses and was about to say something, he had returned his tongue back to his work, making me bite my own, trying to muffle the moan. I didn’t know which was better: those fingers or that tongue that relentlessly attacked my entrance. As that odd feeling started to build up in my core, I closed my eyes. No longer could my mouth hold in my desperate pleas and moans for him to throw me over the edge.
“B–Blake, I…” Oh God, I couldn’t form a single sentence from his actions.
“Let go,” was all he said at the moment he moved away before assaulting me again, and it was enough for me to be thrown over the edge. I forgot to breathe with the orgasm reaching every single pore of my body. I lost myself in a sea of pleasure, willingly letting myself sink deeper as he dragged me down from reality.
“Oh my…Blake!” I moaned his name from the top of my lungs, grateful for what he had just given me, my cheeks red from embarrassment for my actions and my moans.
After some time, he got back on the top of me, his hands both to my side, trying not to crush me with his body as I breathed heavily, trying to calm myself. Mel was right: best thing ever.
“Are you alright?” he asked me warily, and I nodded, way too drawn by the previous events to talk. I felt nice. I wouldn’t even care if the world was about to break down. I could literally roll myself in the blanket and stay like that until the next year.
“Are you ready for the next step? I can stop if you want,” he offered. But just by taking a glance at his eyes filled with lust, I simply shook my head, remembering my mantra: “Blake sex machine that needs sex, me his woman.”
“Please continue.” To which he only smiled before raising his body and getting rid of his shirt, making me lick my lips from the sight of his abs. Don’t blame me. I have a weakness for those godly creations.
“Needy little thing, aren’t you?” He chuckled.
“Take them off. My pants,” he told and grinned, and my hands moved on their own, untying his belt before pulling his pants down along with his boxers. I was once again met with him that I would never get used to seeing.
He moved his legs around, taking off the pants completely, and now we were just skin to skin with each other.
“No need for condoms, unless there’s a chance of impregnating you again.” He chuckled before his lips were back on mine again.
“It will hurt just a little, then you’ll be begging me to rock your world, Kaley,” he spoke. My lips parted. I wanted to run. I didn’t know what Blake horny edition was ready to do in bed. Beg? He’s not going to show mercy. Do I jump through the veranda now? Swim all the way to Africa? Do I even know how to swim that far? I do know how to swim, don’t I?
I had no freaking idea.
“But I’m going to be nice this time.” He bit my upper lip as he positioned himself at my entrance. He gently guided my legs around him as I gulped.
“I do apologize in advance for that little pain you’re going to feel,” he spoke, and I almost fainted. Put it in inside already, dammit! I was so not a fan of anticipation!
“Ready?” he asked, and I nodded without thinking about the consequences, and he proceeded, making me bite my lip and mutter numerous incoherent words in my head. Fear immediately took over me, and I tried to move and escape from him, but his palms gently cupped my face as he kissed my forehead before moving down there a bit. The pain weakened.
“Shh, it will pass. Relax, munchkin. It will pass,” he reassured me, and I calmed down a bit, but my look still stayed frantic as he looked warily at me. He retreated before going deeper again slowly, and I noticed that it didn’t hurt as much when he moved.
“I’m okay. Move. It hurts less,” I spoke. A blush found its way to my cheeks for the hundredth time that night. He smiled and obeyed before pressing his lips to mine. When I finally got used to having him inside of me, moving, it was like someone else took over my body, for I wrapped my legs tighter around him, my right hand on his back, while the left was on his butt. What a lecherous wife I was. I lusted him.
What was there not to lust about him, anyway?
“Better?” he had asked between his thrusts, still slow. With his unstoppable assaults on my lips as I moaned, shame was long forgotten. Pure need crawled up my skin.
“Sorry,” I apologized, and he only shook his head with a sad smile. I could hear his loud breathing as if he were screaming them. A huge part of me was satisfied that it was because of me.
“It’s alright.” He stopped. I almost wanted to roll us over and finish what he started on top of him. “I’m the one to blame for the last time. Ready to continue?” he asked hesitantly, and I nodded as he roughly pushed himself deeper. I simply bit my lip, once again throwing my head deep in the pillow. That one I had not expected but had surely enjoyed.
“So tight, so good,” he spoke so…satisfyingly that just the sound of it made me aroused all again as some type of pride swelled in my chest. Was it this big of a deal when you made someone you cared for happy, even in lovemaking?
He kissed me again, muffling my weakened yelps and moans. His hand held my cheek while the other caressed my chest, building up another sensation I so gladly awaited. Gone was the pain completely. Uncontrolled pleasure had me dangling on edge, ready to cross over, but something was missing.
Not yet.
“Faster please,” I found myself begging, just as he told me I will, as he moved my legs upper around his waist, which only resulted in him getting deeper inside, allowing him to speed up.
“So fucking tight! I could spend the entire night inside without getting bored!” he whispered in my ear, getting more and more speed with each single thrust, without a doubt from his limitless stamina. Those who said that sex is all about performance were so fucking wrong. His words did so many things to me I could not even explain. Maybe I had a thing for dirty words, who knew?
“Blake, I…” This time, the peak of orgasm hit me stronger. I think I clawed the skin on his back. My body could not stay in place as I had the need to writhe beneath him.
“Just a second, try to hold in,” he said before his thrust got harder, and I could no longer take it. I came. He followed shortly after.
When he had finished, he collapsed on top of me. Both our breaths were hard and rugged. He then lifted his head with a smile, his hair messy as always, a wild look in his blue eyes I so loved.
“That was…amazing. I reason that it was the best I ever had, wife,” he said and kissed the place between my chest before rolling next to me and hugging me. I weakly nodded before snuggling into his chest; despite his sweat, he smelled of his usual cologne whose name I still didn’t know. I had completely agreed with his words.
I yawned, and he kissed my forehead.
“Sleep,” he said before he pulled the blanket over our bodies. I embraced the warmth it brought despite my body previously being on fire.
Sated. Truly satisfied and sated.
“I love you, Kaley Blackburn,” he suddenly said, and I smiled. Those were his last words before I drifted to the world of slumber. They left me with a smile on my face.
“Why, I love you too…Blake Blackburn.”
Fate worked in funny ways. I had finally come to understand that. Because things I had at the moment could be lost in the future—either nearby or distant—I had accepted to appreciate every single second.
It wasn’t a wrong assumption in the end. I just shouldn’t have forgotten it when I needed to remember it the most—on that fated day.