Chapter 18

Andrew

 

Monday morning has come way too soon. My heart is pounding as I hit my floor button and begin ascending in the elevator. I decided yesterday to take a hotel room close by my office for the time being. Logan asked if I wanted to stay with him, but I didn’t want to impose. I also want to keep him out of harm’s way as much as possible, at least until everything blows over.

I had to face Maria yesterday again. I didn’t want to go back there, but I had no choice because all of my work clothes were still there. She was her usual maniacal self, but I got in and out as quickly as I could and checked into the hotel last night.

Amanda looks up as I approach my office and her eyes widen. Uh oh. I can feel something is off so I ask her to come into my office and she follows me in.

“Does he know?” I ask as I tell her to have a seat.

Hesitantly, she replies, “Well, I’m not 100% sure, but he did ask me to tell you to go to his office as soon as you got in.”

I put my briefcase down and sit at my desk. I look at the stack of briefs and spiral notebooks of my upcoming cases and wonder if I’m going to be in any condition to work. I also begin to wonder even if I am able to work, will I even have a job to work at.

Then I look at Amanda. “Do you like working here?” I ask. She furrows her brows and doesn’t answer right away, but looks at me curiously.

She slowly answers, “And why do you want to know that?”

I sit back in my chair and turn to look out the window. Maybe I’m jumping ahead of myself, but I’m trying to imagine the way that different scenarios might play out today. If I did lose my job, I’d hate having to lose Amanda with it.

I decide to drop it. I don’t know what’s going to happen and besides, why would Amanda want to lose the security of a good job just for me? “Never mind,” I say and quickly try to change the subject.

I stand up. “Well, I may as well get this over with. Wish me luck.” That’s when Amanda gets up and embraces me.

She says, “I’m here for you, whatever happens. Stay strong.”

I thank her and begin to head to Wyatt’s office. Nothing seems too out of the ordinary as far as the other coworkers are concerned. Maybe I am blowing this out of proportion.

“Have a seat,” Wyatt says, “And shut the door.”

I sit. He folds his hands and uncomfortably stares at me.

“I got a call from your wife, Andrew. I’m sure you know what I’m about to say.”

But instead of shying away from him, I gather within myself a newfound confidence. I shake my head unknowingly and say in an innocent voice, “No Wyatt. Whatever do you mean?”

Wyatt looks perturbed. “The picture!!! You know, the one of you kissing another man!” His voice is suddenly louder, more aggressive, “Are you going to sit there and deny it are you? You’d better be straight with me Andrew.”

Was that a pun?

But I decide to play dumb. I lift up my hands in disbelief. “What picture Wyatt? Another man?”

I’m calling his bluff. A part of me doesn’t give a shit and just wants to fuck with him. But another side of me doesn’t want to go too overboard… to err on the side of caution. I don’t fully know yet if I want to lose my job.

I’ve put in so much effort… so many hours of hard work into this place that I don’t know if I want to just pick up and leave for good. For now, I decide to strike a balance between playing dumb and innocent with Wyatt but not go overboard by being too snarky.

Suddenly, Wyatt stands up. “Goddamn it Andrew. You know what I’m talking about. Quit sitting there acting like you don’t know what this is about.”

But I just smile at him and say, “You know that Maria is crazy? Right? There’s no picture. She’s just doing this to get back at me.”

That’s when he scowls at me, “Nice way to talk about your wife!”

“Listen Andrew, I don’t want any fags working here. It disgusts me to even think of it. And I think you are one of them.”

Suddenly I begin to wonder if Wyatt actually did see the picture. It wouldn’t surprise me given what Amanda thought she saw of Wyatt and Maria together. But, I can actually use this as a tactic if he pushes me too far.

He doesn’t know that I know he was spotted with Maria. Now that I suspect he’s already seen the pic, I decide to feel him out a bit. I say, “You’ve probably seen it already anyway.”

He looks at me shocked. “What??”

I repeat myself, “Yeah, you’ve seen it haven’t you?”

“So there is a picture. I knew it!!! And you just sit there all along with that smug look on your face. Denying, denying. You disgusting pervert. That’s it. I’m going to call a partner’s meeting and see what they have to say about this.”

OK, now that is a threat.

We’re both lawyers and I know Wyatt has been bluffing me since I walked in. We’ve been playing a verbal chess game with each other and now it’s time to pull out my ammunition. I say, “Yes, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit that you saw the picture….

Given the rumors I’ve been hearing about you and my wife.”

Wyatt suddenly turns pale and for a moment is speechless.

“Whaaa?” He fumbles for some words before finally gaining his composure. “What the hell are you talking about? Have you lost your mind?”

It looks like I’ve struck some sort of nerve.

It’s honestly hard for me to picture him and Maria together, but nothing would surprise me at this point. Maybe it wasn’t Maria that Amanda saw, or perhaps there’s an innocent explanation. Whatever the case, it appears that I’ve riled him up. But why would he appear this way if it were not true?

Suddenly flustered, he holds his arm up and points to the door. “Get the hell out of here. You are a sick man.”

I smile at him as I walk out and he slams the door behind my back. When I turn around, I can see him pick up his phone and begin dialing. Gee, who could he be calling?

I always did find it strange how Maria seemed to know everything that happened in the office before I even arrived home. But what would she see in him? Yes, the guy is loaded, but he’s also disgustingly gross. Naw, I just can’t picture it. Yuk!

But then again, Maria does love her money.

I head back to my office and Amanda looks eager to find out what has happened. I motion for her to come in. I explain to her everything I said to him.

“Noooo. Do you think you’re ok and he might not fire you then?” Amanda says.

“Probably not for now anyway. He was in utter shock when I brought up Maria.” Amanda giggles, then becomes more serious.

She gingerly asks me, “But do you really want to stay working in a place like this Andrew. Knowing what you do about him?”

I wish I knew the answer to that question. “Something is holding me back,” I start out, “I don’t know how easy it would be to get another job in the type of work that I do. Wyatt knows everyone in this town and God knows he wouldn’t give me a good recommendation.”

Amanda nods. “That’s for damn sure,” she says.

I continue, “And divorcing Maria is going to cost me a lot of money. How would I even afford to live here after that? I’d have to start over probably making half of my salary. If that. I’m already too old to begin starting over in this career.”

“Andrew,” Amanda starts, “Please. You’re not too old. I hear what you’re saying, but you’re a bright attorney. Any firm would be lucky to have you.”

I begin to think about a life with Logan. What that would look like if we were just scraping by. We wouldn’t be completely broke, but certainly nowhere near how I’m living now. Could we be happy that way? And God knows what my parents will do when they find out. Will they take me out of their will?

“Thanks sweetheart,” I say to her. I smile. “Why do you always know how to say the right thing to me?”

Amanda smiles back. “I don’t Andrew. I just go with my intuition. Besides, I’ve always been better about solving other people’s problems more than my own.”

I think to myself how Amanda never seems to have a care in the world. She has problems? Softly, I say to her, “I’m sorry Amanda. I don’t mean to be so caught up in myself all the time. What do you mean ‘your own’ problems? I hope it’s nothing serious.”

She turns and now she’s staring out the window, probably resting her eyes on the Chrysler Building which is directly across from us.

“No, no, nothing serious,” She begins saying. But I can see that something is on her mind.

Amanda has opened up to me before about the difficulties of dating, but that alone never seems to get her down. I wonder if that is what she’s thinking about now. Or is it something else?

She smiles. “And no, it’s not about dating this time Andrew.”

She was probably reading my thoughts.

“I’m no longer happy being a secretary. I want to go back to school, but I don’t know how I’d support myself living here. And the thought of all of those student loans…” she trails off.

This is the first time I’ve ever heard her mention anything like this.

I always took it for granted having parents who were wealthy enough to put me through school. I can’t even imagine how people are able to do it all on their own. And if they have to take out student loans, they’re saddled with debt for the next twenty years after graduating.

I ask Amanda, “What would you want to go to school for?” She turns her gaze towards me and looks more serious than before.

“That’s just it. I’m not sure. I don’t know if I like law that much. I almost want to try something totally different. Ever since I was a kid I’ve always wanted to be a veterinarian.”

Amanda quickly asks, “What did you want to be when you grew up?

I stop and think about her question but my mind goes blank. I wonder, did children ever have a choice about those things? If I ever did have thoughts about what I wanted to be, they were drummed out of me. My parent’s chose my career just like they did everything else.

I tell Amanda just that and add, “You’re lucky you have the option to do anything you want. Do what you really want to do and don’t worry about anything else like the money or what you think society or other people expect of you.”

Amanda nods knowingly. “I will Andrew. I’ll do that,” She pauses and thinks, before looking me in the eyes.

“And so should you Andrew.”

She’s 100% correct.

That is information I need to take to heart. I’m giving Amanda advice that I realize should apply to my own life. That is not a bad idea.

Not bad at all.