“Ballsy,” Malakai murmurs.

We’re sitting at the clubhouse. After returning to the bakery, they decided I’d be safer at the club, where there is heaps of protection. So, we loaded up, they called Slater, and we all went to the compound. I feel safer here, but I’m starting to think Paul is going to go to any lengths to get to me, no matter the cost.

It feels weird calling him by a name. Even though it’s highly likely that isn’t actually his name.

“Fuckin’ ballsy alright, going into a café and sitting down with her. Anything could have happened,” Maverick mutters.

“He threatened to shoot the entire café up if you didn’t go with him,” Malakai continues, “How come you didn’t believe him?”

I shrug, still shaken up, eyes on the door just waiting for Slater to come in. I keep wondering how I’m going to face him. I focus back on Malakai. “He’s smart. I knew he wouldn’t want his face all over the news, then he’d never get hold of me, and he’d never get away with it. He isn’t going to risk everything, not in that way. I knew that. So, I made a call. It was the right one.”

“Fuckin’ oath it was,” Mason nods. “Took guts to take that risk, but we’re glad you did.”

“Lincoln is going in to see Shania, he’s goin’ to ask if we can have footage. If we can get a clear picture of his face, it’s goin’ to make things a shit load easier for all of us,” Maverick adds.

“Have you been able to find anything yet?” I ask, hopefully.

“Not yet. There isn’t anyone by the name of Paul, or Riley, in any of the churches we’ve looked up. Makes me think those names are not legitimate. Which we already knew, I suppose. It’s very hard to get a close on something, when we know nothing about it.”

I nod, “I knew it would be hard, I guess now, we just have to wait for him to stuff up...”

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Koda says, rubbing his chin.

“What?” Malakai asks.

“Instead of waiting for him to stuff up, what if we set it up for him to stuff up. Might make quick work of getting our hands on him.”

“Never goin’ to happen.”

We all turn at the sound of Slater’s voice. He’s walking into the room, and I can see right away he’s angry. I suspected as much. After all, I did run from him, not giving him a chance to explain. Anything could have happened to me. Seeing him, and his scowl, makes my heart burn. Because I remember what that smile looked like, and seeing him without it, seeing that I bring nothing but heartache to his life, makes me feel...empty.

“It ain’t a bad idea, Slater. It’s that or we sit here and wait for him to come in while we’re unprepared again...” Malakai mutters.

Slater looks to me, and I look away.

“It’s too big of a risk. If something goes wrong, she gets taken again...”

“And if we wait, there is still a huge chance of me getting taken again. He got close today,” I say, surprised at myself for speaking up so freely.

But it’s a good plan.

And I want to be free.

I’ll do nearly anything to find that freedom.

“Yeah, he got fuckin’ close alright, because of your stupidity,” Slater barks.

Everyone is surprised, I can tell by the looks on their faces. Slater doesn’t tend to speak past a certain tone, and he certainly doesn’t yell. Especially not at me. I swallow, and my heart starts racing as I hold his angry eyes.

“Don’t, Slater,” Malakai growls. “You’ll regret it.”

“Don’t you call me stupid!” I fire back, hurt, so hurt. “I don’t deserve that.”

“You don’t deserve it?” he yells, “do you have any fuckin’ idea how I felt when you ran out of that house, Ellie? Any fuckin’ idea what went through me?”

“I didn’t think you noticed, you were too busy with your girlfriend.”

The words come out before I can stop them, and everyone in the room goes silent.

That was a low blow. Even I know it.

“You fuckin’ ran out because you got jealous over something you didn’t know,” Slater roars, “and almost got killed!”

“I didn’t almost get killed,” I scream back, my blood pumping, fire ripping through my body. I haven’t been this angry since...since...ever. “And I’m not jealous. Screw you. None of this would be happening if it wasn’t for you!”

“You think I don’t fucking know that!” he barks, his voice an angry whip. “Fuck you, Ellie.”

“No,” I scream, standing up and throwing my hands into the air. “Fuck you, Slater Knight!”

He jerks. “What did you just say?”

I blink.

That came out of my mouth without thought, like an automatic button had been pressed. A flash of memory flitters through my brain of a fight, a big fight, and I can almost see it clearly. Standing here with Slater, hurting, heart falling to pieces, I can almost see it. I know, I just know, we’ve been here before.

“I...”

“You called me by my full name,” he says, his voice hoarse, “you haven’t done that...since...before...”

He’s right, I haven’t.

And I don’t know why now it decided to come back.

Was it the anger?

Me finally exploding?

“I need to be alone,” I say, rubbing my forehead with my palm and turning, walking out of the room.

“Ellie!” Slater calls.

“Let her be, brother,” Malakai says. “Let her be.”

I disappear down the hall, and run into Scarlett coming in through the back entrance. So grateful to have another female here, considering Erin had to keep working, makes me swell with relief.

“Hey,” Scarlett says. “Maverick called me and told me you might need some company. Are you okay?”

I shake my head. “No really. I’m...I don’t know.”

“Come on,” she says, taking my hand and leading me into a room off to the side, that’s filled with lounge chairs, and a big television. Nobody is in here, so I take a seat and exhale, glad to be able to breathe for a second.

“Tell me what’s happening?” Scarlett says, going over to the fridge in the corner and bringing back two bottles of beer.

I open the bottle, and take a sip. I’m not in love with beer, but it’s cold, and right now, I honestly need it.

“I slept with Slater...”

Her eyes widen. “Oh.”

“Yeah, it was after you all came over. I had a nightmare, and he was just there...at the time, I wanted it so badly. I couldn’t think straight, I needed him that severely.”

“And now?”

“I still want it, I still want him. But, that frustrates me because I’m constantly fighting against myself, and my lack of memories. I just want to wake up one day, and know exactly who I am, you know?”

Scarlett nods, “Yeah, that must be a hard thing to live with. But, honey, you might never get those memories back, and that really sucks, but you do have new ones, you do have now, and if you’re drawn to Slater, why would you try and fight that?”

“Because, what if I give in to what I want right now, only to wake up one day and remember everything, and it changes how I feel...”

She frowns. “I doubt that. I honestly doubt it. The way Slater loves you, tells me you two had something pretty amazing. If you’re wondering about it all, you need to sit and talk to him, get the good and the bad, so if those memories come back, you won’t be shocked. Then you can make a choice, for right now. Because honey, you’re living in the right now...”

“I know,” I admit, “I just feel like I can’t live, not with him around, you know? I feel like he’s going to take me back, and just as I’m getting happy again I’ll be-”

“That will never happen,” she cuts me off, “we will never let him get his hands on you again, Ellie. I promise you that.”

My heart warms.

And I’m so thankful for these people.

“Now, tell me what happened to cause you to run out of Slater’s house this morning. You two slept together, that’s not so bad. You’re a woman, and he’s a man, and you two have a connection that runs deep, so it isn’t surprising. But why did you run out?”

“There was another woman there when I went out this morning,” I tell her, feeling sheepish for reacting so badly. “And they were talking, and Scarlett, he smiled. A real smile. A true smile. He looked at her, and he smiled. And I don’t know, something inside me just snapped. I felt this stupid emotion I haven’t experienced before, and I couldn’t control it. Then I got frustrated with myself because I couldn’t understand it, either. I mean, I don’t even remember anything so why was I feeling so...”

“Jealous?” Scarlett offers.

“Yeah.”

“Because you care about him, I just don’t think you understand why. But you do. It’s clear. And you’ve been through a lot. And you gave a lot to him when you slept with him. And you felt an emotion that is completely natural, honey. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

“I could have been taken again, because I over reacted to a silly emotion...” I say, feeling ashamed.

“It isn’t a silly emotion. It’s powerful enough on a good day, with people who understand what it means. You don’t, or at least, you don’t remember feeling it, so therefore it would have hit you even harder. You overreacted, you did something silly, but you have learned a lesson and shouldn’t be punished for it.”

I nod, rubbing my face.

“Talk to Slater, honey,” she advises. “I know you might not want to, but the only way you two are ever going to get over this speed bump, is if you’re both open and honest with each other. He can’t help you with your fears, if he doesn’t know what they are. Tell him what you’re feeling, and let him help you. We’re family, now. We all want to be here for you.”

“Thank you,” I smile at her. “I really appreciate it.”

“Can we have a word to Ellie, darlin’.”

We both turn to see Malakai, Maverick and Boston standing in the doorway. I look to Scarlett, and she nods, smiling. “Come find me when you’re done, and we’ll keep drinking this little problem away.”

I smile at her and laugh softly. She stands and gives Maverick a kiss, long and deep, on her way out. My cheeks go pink, and I turn back to my beer as the three men come in and sit down with me.

“Been talkin’ it over, and while Slater ain’t happy with it, and is refusing to hear us out, it doesn’t come down to him. It comes down to you,” Malakai begins, and I meet his eyes. “Think the quickest and safest way to rid ourselves of this piece of shit, is to set it up and catch him out. Otherwise, could take months, even longer, of torment and you puttin’ your life on hold, and I’m sure you don’t want that.”

I shake my head. “No, I don’t want that. I just...I need to be free, Malakai. A huge portion of my life was snatched from me because of him, and I don’t want to live another second in fear. So, I’ll do whatever you think is right.”

Malakai nods. “We’ll make sure you’re safe, no matter what, understand? We’ll have eyes on him at all times, and we won’t let him get his hands on you again...”

I swallow, sick to my stomach with the idea. I also know it’s the best one we have. “Okay.”

“All we know so far,” Boston says, smiling at me, and making me feel at ease, “Is that he’s watchin’ you. That’s all we need to know. We recreate a situation like this morning, where you run out, or are distressed, and he believes you’re alone. We let him get close enough, then we take him down.”

Take him down.

“How...what are you going to do with him?”

Malakai’s eyes hold mine. “Not goin’ to answer questions like that. I can promise you, Ellie, that he’ll never bother you again.”

I know what that means.

I know it, and honestly...I’m okay with it.

I’m okay with his blood being on my hands.

I’m okay with ridding the world of a cruel, evil monster.

I’m most certainly okay with being free.

Finally.

~*~*~*~