Pain bursts through my temple, and I clench my eyes shut. I wish he’d stop hurting me. I wish this monster would just let me be. He knows I’ll obey him. He knows I’ll do anything he asks. He knows because he’s abused me so many times I’m broken before him, on my knees and yet he still continues to hurt me. My mind is a foggy mess, a haze I can’t seem to lift myself out from. All I can see in my mind is a swirl of him. Him and only him.

I know I’ve been drugged.

Hell, I don’t even know my own name anymore.

My mind is ruined.

He calls me Raven, so I guess that must be it. Though something inside me tells me it isn’t.

“Are you listening to me now, sweet Raven?”

His voice is soft, gentle even.

It’s the kind of voice you’d trust, hell, people do trust him, it’s why he’s so good at what he does.

He’s a man of God, or so he tells everyone.

But down here, in this basement below the church, he is a man of pure evil.

But his voice is tricky, it’s a voice you’d believe in, if you went to him for help.

He’s as smart as he is evil.

“I’m always listening, Master,” I whisper, my fingers trembling.

I still don’t know why he wants me, or what he plans on doing with me. I’ve been here two years, and I still don’t know exactly what he wants.

He tells me he owns me, and that I’ll be whatever he needs me to be.

Some days, I don’t see him, others, he’s here every day tormenting me.

On the rare occasion, he’s nice, like a god damned trick.

“You’re going to wear your hair in a braid to the side from now on, do you understand?”

I nod.

“And you’ll call me Paul.”

“Is that your name, Master?”

A hard slap across my face. “Do not ever ask me questions, child. Not now. Not ever. You know this.”

I wince, and close my eyes.

His hands cups my face. “Sometimes, sometimes, I swear you want me to hurt you. Do you want me to hurt you, dear Raven?”

“No Master.”

“Paul.”

“No Paul.”

“Then do as you’re told.”

I run the brush through my hair, staring in the mirror. I had it over one shoulder, ready to braid, almost out of habit. Now I’m frantically running the brush through it to smooth it out evenly down my back. Not to one side. Never to one side. How can I remember his torment so clearly? So damned clearly?

But nothing else.

Frustration bubbles in my chest, and I stare at myself, I just stare.

I want a life. A world that doesn’t live in the grips of that monster. I want fun, and laughter, and adventure.

I want love.

But if I can’t remember, if I can’t let go of the chains around me, I’ll never have any of those things.

If I don’t stop living in fear, I’ll never free myself.

“Hi there.”

I glance over my shoulder and see Erin standing in the door way, looking gorgeous. She’s wearing a pair of dark wash jeans and an emerald tank. Her gorgeous locks are down flowing around her shoulders, and her eyes are sparkling beneath the gentle layer of mascara she’s wearing. She’s breathtaking.

Some man will be lucky to have her someday.

“Hey,” I smile, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

“You look worried, we don’t have to go if you don’t want.”

“It’s not that,” I admit. “It’s...well, do you think maybe it’s time to see a doctor about my memory loss?”

She glances at me, her eyes wide. It was mentioned back at the start, by both the police and my therapist, but I refused, terrified of what I’d remember, that maybe I’d safely locked away all the bad. I just wanted to leave it all behind me, and move forward, and without my consent, it couldn’t be forced upon me.

But then I met Slater, and his brothers, and part of me wants to know more. A huge part of me needs to know my story, to understand it, to know those pieces of myself that I’ve lost.

“You want to see a doctor?” Erin asks, still sounding rather surprised.

“Yes, I think I do. Maybe there is nothing they can do, but what if there is? Those people, they look at me like I truly matter to them. If that’s the case, I want to know why, I want to remember, I want to make clear decisions.”

Erin nods. “That’s a wonderful idea, and I’ll be with you every step of the way, but honey, have you considered how you might feel if they tell you the memory loss is permanent?”

I swallow, and nod, looking at her. “Yes, I have. But it’s worth the risk of at least trying to find out if I have options, right now, I live in constant frustration. Always trying to remember, getting angry that all I see are flashes of things. None of those things involve any of the Knight Brother’s.”

“Okay, well, we’ll book it in tomorrow, and go from there, okay?”

I nod.

“Are you sure about tonight?” she goes on to ask, walking in behind me and taking the brush, beginning to style my hair.

“Yes,” I say. “I’m actually looking forward to meeting some new people, maybe making some new friends.”

“Hey,” she laughs, jabbing me lightly with the brush. “Are you saying I’m not enough?”

I laugh softly. “Of course you are.”

She finishes fixing my hair and spins me around by the shoulders. “You’re incredible, and brave, and the best person I’ve ever met. Those girls will be lucky to be your friend, honey. So damned lucky.”

My heart expands, and I smile. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Just remember,” she says, grinning. “I’m the bestie!”

I giggle. “Always.”

“Good, now let’s get you dressed, and get to this biker party. I must admit, I’m more than a little curious.”

“Me too,” I admit. “Do you think it’ll be a problem, me being there?”

“With Slater?” she asks, gathering our bags and phones.

“Yeah.”

“No, I honestly don’t. But if you get uncomfortable, just let me know and we’ll leave. But try and have a good time. Remember, you’re safe there. Those people aren’t going to hurt you, and they’re not going to let anyone else hurt you, either.”

“Do you think we’ll find him, Erin?”

She stares at me, her eyes flashing with the kind of fury I’ve seen a few times. The kind that says she wants to rip him limb from limb. I fear that she’d inflict far more pain upon him, then any of those bikers every would.

“If we do, I’ll make sure he never hurts another human being again.”

I reach out and take her hand, curling my fingers around hers and squeezing. “I have no doubt.”

“Now,” she claps, shaking the rage from her eyes. “Let’s get going. I want to see what hot biker I might be able to make out with.”

I giggle. “Oh God. You’re insatiable.”

She laughs, flicking her hair. “I am a woman, you know. And those men are freaking hot. Any woman would be lucky to have a little taste of one.”

“Just a little taste?” I wiggle my brows.

“Just a tiny touch of the tongue.”

We both burst out laughing.

I don’t know where I’d be without her.

But I’m so damned grateful to whoever put her in my life.

She keeps me strong.

~*~*~*~