“Not goin’ to happen, Malakai,” Slater mutters, his eyes a little glassy from one too many beers.

I haven’t seen him since our fight, I’ve done my best to avoid him. I went over a plan with Malakai and the guys, and then had a few drinks with Scarlett and Saskia before meeting back up with the guys to talk to Slater about what we’re going to do. Turns out Slater has been sitting in the sheds down the back, drinking this whole time.

I’m not sure it’s done anything to curb his anger.

“It’s happenin’, Slater. It ain’t your call. It’s Ellie’s.”

Slater looks to me. “You seriously goin’ to put yourself at risk?”

“I’m at risk every single second he’s breathing, Slater. So yes, I’m going to put myself at risk. I want this done. I need it to be over.”

“And if this goes wrong?” Slater growls.

“It won’t go wrong, we’ll have eyes on her and a tracker on her the whole time,” Maverick assures Slater.

“It’s fuckin’ playing with fire, that’s what it is,” Slater barks, walking past us all.

“It’s happenin’, Slater. Like it or not,” Malakai calls after him.

“Over my dead fuckin’ body will you take her away from me again,” Slater growls, stopping in his tracks and glaring at us all. His eyes zero on in Malakai.

“It’s our only option,” Malakai tells him, calmly.

“It isn’t! It’s the option that’s easiest for you, but it’s dangerous.”

“It’s happening.”

“Fuck!” he barks, and then disappears down the hall.

He’s got such a buildup of anger, and it seems to be spilling out a lot in the last few days. I feel for him, honestly, I do.

It must be hard.

“I’ll go and talk to him,” I offer, smiling at the guys and walking after Slater down the hall.

I find him in the room Scarlett took me to, staring out the window, fingers gripping the sill. He’s hurting, he’s scared, and he’s confused. I know exactly how all of those emotions feel. Everything in my body is screaming at me to go to him right now, to let him know everything is going to be okay. The urge is so strong, I start moving closer to him without thought.

“Not goin’ to lose you again, Ellie,” he murmurs, his voice ragged and raspy.

He knew it was me, without even turning around.

“I have to do this, Slater. It’s a good plan, and it’ll work. I need...I need to be free of him.”

Slater doesn’t move.

“I’m sorry I’m making things harder for you. And I’m sorry I ran out this morning...”

“Do you have any fuckin’ idea how that felt,” he says, his voice tired, broken. “It was like reliving the night I found out you got taken, all over again.”

My heart breaks, because...dammit. That sucks. And I never wanted him to feel any more pain than he already has.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“Every day in this world, is killin’ me, Ellie. I’ve forgotten how to breathe, how to just...be. I’m broken, and fucked up, and so damned scared of waking up one day, and you not being here again.”

Tears burst forth, and I move without thought, pressing my body against his back. I tip my head to the side and rest my cheek against him, sliding my arms around his huge body. I stand there like that, feeling so many things my body is having a hard time keeping up.

“It’s why I have to do this. So we can both learn how to breathe again.”

Slater turns, hand going down around my waist, and hauling me up against his big body. His eyes hold mine, and my tummy flutters with the soft wings of butterflies. He makes me giddy. He makes me feel things that I’ve not experienced. He makes the broken pieces of me come back together. My body knows this man, even if my mind has forgotten.

“I can’t lose you again,” he rasps.

“You won’t...”

“Last night, with you, was the best fuckin’ night of my life. It’s the first time in ten years I’ve been able to sleep right. Knowin’ you were with me, in my arms, hearing your breathing against my cheek, fuckin’ made me thankful for every day I kept fighting, even when I wanted to give up.”

“I’m so thankful you kept fighting for me, Slater. You’ll never understand just how much. It helps me to know that every day I was in there, someone was out here, fighting.”

He brings his hand down, stroking over my jaw. “That woman you saw me with. She’s a very good friend. Won’t lie to you, she did want a romance with me, and for a while I considered it. Nothing ever happened because...well...fuck, I just couldn’t. And so we became friends. Good friends. She was telling me this morning that she’s pregnant, and I was smiling because I was happy for her. She saved me when times got dark, but that’s all it was.”

“You don’t owe me any explanations, Slater,” I tell him, looking up into his eyes.

“Yeah, Ellie, I do. It’s because of me that you got taken...”

“And it can’t be undone,” I tell him. “Believe me, there are so many things I wish I could take back. But you can’t turn back time, you can only move forward.”

He stares at me, and the pain in his eyes almost hurts to look at.

“Look,” I tell him, taking a deep breath. “I don’t remember anything right now, and it frustrates me more than you’ll ever know. I do feel a connection with you, Slater. If I’m being honest, that connection terrifies me, because I’m scared that I’ll get close to you, and we’ll build something, and then my memories will come back. I’m scared of what they might reveal. So, I want you to tell me. I want you to tell me everything, and then, I don’t know, I guess I want to see what happens here. I can’t promise you anything, and I’m petrified I’ll hurt you, but I’m drawn to you, and you make me feel safe, which is something I’ve not felt before. At least, I don’t remember feeling.”

He gently guides a piece of hair from my forehead. “I’ll tell you everything. But before that,” he leans down, and his lips brush mine. He tastes so damned good, like Slater, and beer, and man. Pure, raw man. I want more.

I need him.

Like a damned drug.

I deepen the kiss, until we’re both panting. He spins me around, back against the window, leg up around his hip, kissing me like his life depends on it. I whimper, and clutch his biceps as his mouth moves down my neck, nibbling an erotic trail to my shoulder.

“If you don’t stop, I won’t be able to make you,” I whimper when his thumb grazes over my nipple.

“If you don’t want me to stop, I’m not goin’ to ask you to,” he murmurs into my ear, nipping at the lobe.

And dammit. I don’t want him to stop.

I know I should, at least until he’s told me everything. But right now, after everything that’s happened, after what he just told me, I want him. No, no, I need him.

More than air.

I hook my other leg around his hip and arch into him, his panting turns into a low growl as he rasps, “Can’t take my time with you here, baby. Gotta be hard. Gotta be fast. But later, when we’re alone, I’m goin’ to take my time to you. I’ve been waitin’ ten years to take my damned time with you. But right now, I’m goin’ to fuck you. That okay with you?”

My core tightens, it tightens so hard I whimper in response. Nobody has ever spoken those words to me before, but holy do I want to hear them every day for the rest of my life. Especially coming from a man like Slater.

“Okay,” I whimper when his thumb caresses my nipple again.

He shifts me slightly, then he lifts up my skirt and shifts my panties to the side, but not before letting his fingers glide through me, stroking and flicking just a little, making my body come alive.

“You’re fuckin’ wet,” he growls.

“Please,” I beg, looking up at him through hooded lashes.

He reaches down to his jeans, unbuckles them, and frees himself. I glance down, and my eyes widen at his huge erection. I knew he was big, I felt that when we made love, but seeing it, angry and red, and so swollen, has me licking my lips unknowingly. It’s incredible, as incredible and powerful as he is.

He guides it to me, hand gripping my ass, and he thrusts inside.

I gasp, and then moan, low and deep.

And then he does exactly what he said he’s going to do.

He fucks me.

He fucks me until I forget everything else but him.

He fucks me until I don’t remember my own name.

He fucks me until I know, deep down in my soul.

That I’m his.

And I always will be.

~*~*~*~