Chapter 18 – I Settled
Grady –
After leading me through long hallways decorated with more Christmas shit, we finally reach the library. And it’s just that—a huge fucking library with books lining the walls from floor to ceiling. The minute we step through the double doors, Maya screams and tears her hand out of mine, running to her brother. She throws herself in his arms and he catches her, only stumbling back a step or two.
Joe is lanky and taller than Maya by a few inches. Even though his hair is darker than hers, they share the same light blue eyes, and it’s clear to see they’re related.
I lean back into the leather sofa as I watch her with her brother. She talks about Joe a lot. I can tell they’re close. I understand why she was so upset to find out he’s had multiple seizures in the last few months and needed to see him. I guess it was so serious, he withdrew from his classes at St. John’s in Brooklyn, where he’s in his junior year.
Joe’s seven years younger than her. Maya said he was probably an accident—as her mother isn’t the mothering type. It’s why she felt the need to see for herself that he was okay, especially after not talking to him for months.
We’ve been talking to Joe for almost two hours, and Maya has grilled him on everything from doctor appointments to his medication. Joe gave her the lowdown—how he had two episodes at school before their dad forced him to come home, and how he thought he was doing okay until he had another just last week. He wasn’t happy about leaving school, complaining about having to be home, but since he’s been back he’s been working with a medical response dog that will soon be with him full-time.
He finally puts a stop to her line of questioning, and leans back in his chair across from where we’re sitting. “Was it that bad? That you had to run away?”
She leans into my side since I have my arm thrown over the back of the sofa behind her. She looks down to her hands before back to her brother. “I left, didn’t I? I don’t want to get into it now. I can’t.”
He looks from his sister to me and tips his head curiously. “How did you meet my sister?”
I shrug my bum shoulder that’s feeling almost back to normal. “She’s my physical therapist.”
He narrows his eyes. “How long have you known each other?”
“A few—” Maya starts to answer, but I interrupt.
“A while.” I look down at Maya and I can tell she’s trying to hide the surprise in her eyes. “It’s hard to believe, huh?” I tighten my arm around her, pulling her to me and look back to Joe. “The days fly by.”
Joe nods and looks to his sister inquisitively, speaking directly to her. “Not that I mind, Weston’s an asshole. I’ve been trying to tell you that for the last couple years, but the jury’s still out on this guy. I know nothing about him.”
I hold up a conciliatory hand, and add, “I’m not perfect, but I’m also not his brand of asshole. That, you don’t have to worry about.”
She gives me a small smile before looking back to Joe. “We’re still new.”
“We’re not that new,” I counter.
She sighs, shaking her head and looks back to her brother. “You know mom invited all the MacLachlans for dinner?”
Joe shakes his head. “I’d ask why the fuck she’d do that, but I’m not surprised, and you shouldn’t be, either. She grilled me when I told her you were bringing someone. She wouldn’t give up, so I told her I know nothing about your new guy. Tonight should be fun.”
Maya brings her fingers to her temples, looking pained. “I can’t even think about it.”
“Hey,” I give her a squeeze. “It’ll be over soon.”
Joe looks at his watch. “Sorry, I have a meeting with my new dog and the K-9 trainer. She won’t be ready for a couple months, but having her means I can go back to school next year. And she’ll be a chick magnet, not that I have a problem in that department.” He grins before adding, “I guess I’ll see you at the dinner from hell.”
“Yeah, we’ll see you for cocktails,” Maya mocks her mother and gets up to hug Joe. When she lets him go, she adds, “Whatever you can do to divert the attention away from me tonight, I’d appreciate it.”
Joe grins, and by the look on his face, I’d say he’s looking forward to it. “Maybe tonight will be fun. I love a chance to piss off mom.” He looks from Maya to me and instantly loses his smile. “You’d better not be an asshole.”
“Stop it.” She says as he leaves.
I grab her hand and ask, “You feel better now that you saw him?”
“Yes,” she says, relieved. “He makes it sound as if having episodes isn’t a big deal, but after watching him go through many, it’s a huge deal and very dangerous. What he didn’t tell us, but I know from all the years he’s dealt with this, is if the meds don’t work, it could require surgery. I hope it doesn’t come to that.”
“I hope not, too.” We make our way back to the monster tree and I ask, “Since there’s no bowling alley, what do you want to do before the big event? We’ve got two hours.”
She pulls in a big breath. “I could use a run. Do you mind?”
I put my hand to the back of her head and pull her to me for a kiss. “I followed you all the way to Buffalo. You think I won’t go a few more miles?”
“Good.” She smiles. “I definitely need to work out my nervous energy.”
We head to the front door so we can get our bags.
“You know, there’re other ways to release your nervous energy.” I look back at her and she smirks at me.
I can’t wait for the day I can help work her nerves out in other ways.
*****
Maya –
My fucking mother.
She’s such a bitch.
Gah.
I need to settle down. If I don’t, I’m going to end up with an angry makeup application and that would be scary.
Grady and I ran six miles, but this wasn’t a race. This was me running and Grady keeping pace with me but two strides back. I think it was his way to be close but give me my space, and I needed it.
I’d say Grady is perfect, but he’s not. Ever since I threw myself at him in front of Weston, he’s done exactly what I needed, even when I didn’t know I needed it. He’s protected me, he’s stood by my side, and he’s never wavered. In that way, he’s more perfect than I deserve.
But he’s not proper, he’s not formal, and he makes inappropriate comments all the time. He makes bets that, no matter the outcome, I end up cooking for him and he gets his way. And he relentlessly teases me. These are not perfect qualities.
Or so I’ve been taught.
But Grady’s not perfect qualities are what makes me want him even more as our hours and days together add up. Having him meet Joe probably seemed like a non-event for everyone else, but not for me. I couldn’t wait for the most important person to me to meet the new man in my life, whose imperfect qualities make me weak.
Even though running usually helps when I’m tense, it didn’t help today. I’m more wound than I’ve been in a long time. I lean over the vanity toward the mirror to apply my mascara, and I see Grady standing in the doorway behind me.
I sound funny since I can only apply mascara with my mouth open. “Hey.”
“Hey, yourself.”
Freshly showered, Grady’s wearing suit pants in a gray so dark, they’re almost charcoal. His dress shirt is pressed to perfection, making me wonder how it traveled so well, but only for a second. Because all I see are his eyes, brighter than normal because of the deep blue of his shirt.
But his eyes don’t meet mine. They’re traveling my body, and if I’m correct, right now they’re on my ass.
Maybe I should’ve picked a more modest dress, but I’m attending a dinner in the house I grew up in with a new man. A man whom, at this point, I’m itching to impress. Not that he’s made me feel like I have to, but I want to.
It seems to have worked. I think he likes my dress.
And this does nothing to help my frazzled nerves.
Without taking his eyes off my back, he approaches until I feel his hands low on my hips. I finally get his eyes when they meet mine in the mirror.
“Beautiful.” His voice is lower than usual, even a bit rough. When the word beautiful passes his full lips, I feel his hands tense on me.
“You clean up well, too, Grady Cain,” I say and bite my lip, twisting my mascara shut and tossing it to the counter.
His hands start to move on my navy dress, a blue so dark, it resembles the color of the ocean at night. It’s stretchy and fits like a glove from my thighs to my collar bone, but only on one side. My left arm and shoulder are bare, the dress dipping under my arm, but my right has a full sleeve that flares just above my wrist.
I haven’t slipped on my shoes yet, so I feel smaller in front of Grady, his large frame surrounding me from behind.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, as his hand comes up and sweeps my hair over my shoulder, putting his lips at the base of my neck.
I can’t help but close my eyes. “I don’t think the run helped. I’m wound up. I still can’t believe my mother put me in this position when she knows I want nothing to do with him.”
“You need to calm,” he murmurs against my neck, his lips working their way up to my ear. His hands start to roam, traveling my body.
“Grady,” I breathe and lean my head back on his shoulder. “This isn’t helping my nerves.”
His left hand comes up to cup my breast, and I lose his lips on my neck, so I look up into the mirror. There, his blue eyes are heated—on fire.
“No baby,” his voice is soft and smooth this time. “You need to calm.”
His hand drops to the hem of my dress and pulls it up around my waist. Not wasting any time, he reaches and dips his hand inside the front of my panties. There he is—roaming, touching. And just like last night, it makes me melt, and is better than any dream. I give him all my weight, and the second I do, his arm tightens around me. It’s a good thing too, I otherwise might’ve fallen to the ground.
“Grady, we’re going to be late for dinner,” I breathe.
“We’ve got time.” His fingers work me lightly and I feel myself become instantly wet. “Look at me.”
I open my heavy lids and look at us in the mirror. Me, my dress hitched around my waist, with Grady wrapped around me, his big hand dipped in my panties.
“When I said this isn’t new, I meant it. Since the day I got back after I was captured, I’ve been watching you over the surveillance system.”
His fingers move slowly, roaming and exploring, almost like he’s trying to memorize me. But I don’t understand what he said. “What?”
“I wasn’t just fucked-up, baby, I was fucked up. Watching you come and go, run, sit outside and stare into the woods—it kept me from losing my mind. I didn’t even know you, but I was obsessed with you even then.” His words come at me softly, and learning that he was watching me should freak me out, but for some reason it doesn’t. “You didn’t even know it, but you saved me from some fucked-up demons. I didn’t want to be anywhere, talk to anyone, but when I watched you, I settled.”
His eyes, burning into mine, are open and honest, and even as he works me into a state of sexual frenzy, I ask, “What are you saying?”
He circles my clit harder and slips a finger inside me, making my breath catch.
“I’m saying we’re not new. You might not have known it, but I’ve been with you for months. I’m saying,” he adds more pressure, creating an ache between my legs, “that you took care of me all that time and you didn’t even know it. That made me want you even then, before I was in a place where I could make you mine. I’ve wanted you since the beginning, baby, before you even knew there was a beginning.”
I barely shake my head—stunned, turned on, and kind of freaked out, but all in a good way.
“Let me take care of you.” He puts more pressure on my clit and starts to finger fuck me. “Whatever happens tonight, if anyone upsets you, you let me handle it.”
I say nothing, but turn my face into his neck. I’m breathing so hard, I can’t respond.
His words keep coming. “I’ll handle your mom, that asshole, and whoever else decides to jump in the ring. No one’s gonna fuck with you, not with me standing in the way.”
He adds a second finger, and oh, it feels good.
“Maya?” he calls. When I open my eyes, he’s looking into mine. Just before he puts more pressure on my clit, he asks, “You gonna let me take care of you tonight?”
I nod, unable to talk.
Then I gasp, moan, and my body shudders in delicious shakes. The whole time, Grady holds me tight and milks my orgasm to a point where I feel so weak, I’m certain he’s the only thing holding me up.
“Fuck,” I hear him mutter and I lose his hand from between my legs.
The next thing I know, I’m turned around and he’s circled me in his strong arms, his mouth landing on mine. Kissing me deep with his hand tight in my hair, I have a feeling he’s showing me exactly how he’s going to take care of me. If it’s anything like this, there’s no way I can argue.
When he finally loosens his hold in my hair, his kiss turns soft, his lips barely brushing mine. He looks down at me, his gaze meaningful and sweet when he asks, “You better?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Did I freak you out?” he asks, his brows puckered, honestly concerned about what I’m thinking.
“Yes.” His frown deepens and even though I’m still catching my breath, I quickly add, “But not in a bad way. In a surprised and sort-of-pleased way that I could do something for you when you needed it. Even though I didn’t do anything.”
“You did.” He kisses me again softly before changing the subject. “You ready?”
“I think I’m going to need to touch up my hair and makeup.”
His eyes move over my face in a way I know he doesn’t want to go to dinner, and he pulls me tight with one arm but the other goes slack. When his hand comes around, he smirks as he puts his index and middle fingers in his mouth. I feel my eyes go big as he tastes me, sucking his fingers clean.
When he slides them out of his mouth, he licks his lips and leans down to kiss me quick before letting me go. “Hurry up, baby. I’m hungry.”
He gives me one more devilish grin before leaving me in the bathroom. When I finally turn to the mirror, I smooth my dress and groan at my hair. My makeup fared well, but I cannot go to a dinner in my mother’s house with my ex in attendance wearing sexed up hair.
But, I think I like the way I look being sexed-up by Grady, and we haven’t even had sex yet. I run my fingers through my loose, chunky curls turned away from my face, trying to piece them back together. Since I wore the dress for Grady, I’m thinking my half-sexed hair fits it well.
Although he might’ve relaxed me for a short time, it makes me ache to think about what he said. I don’t know much about what he went through when he was injured, but I do remember his anguished eyes and desolate demeanor during the weeks while I was a creeper. To know he found some sort of comfort in me during that time? That makes me feel funny, and not in a bad way.
I reach for my lipstick as my stomach twists and turns. Between learning that Grady considered me his lifeline before I even knew him, having dinner with Weston and his parents, and dealing with my mother, the night seems impossibly long. Grady did say he’d handle tonight, after all.
Knowing all the possible scenarios, I might just let him.