It is our second day back home with the twins, and Gabriel has reluctantly moved back into our bed, leaving the spare room for Adrianna and Danielle. Adrianna is insisting that the girls sleep in the bedroom with her, saying that while they’re staying we should make the most of them and get as much sleep as we can; and with her breastfeeding, I guess it made sense. At thirty-eight weeks pregnant Danielle is finding being woken up in the night hard to deal with, and said the double bed was uncomfortable. The first morning after they’d stayed the night I found her downstairs drinking tea at 6 o’clock in the morning. We chatted over breakfast; then, hearing cries from one of the twins, she left me to go upstairs and have a shower.
She came back into the lounge around half an hour later with a bag over her shoulder and her car keys in her hand. She’d spoken to Adrianna and said she thought it best that she went home. She’d pop in as and when, but as for sleeping over, she wanted her own bed. I was left with a guilty conscience, since Adrianna should be with her, not looking after babies I should be looking after myself.
With Iris-Mae cradled in his arms, Gabriel saunters into the kitchen. I can’t help but laugh seeing them together, him being over 6ft tall and sweet little Iris-Mae so tiny. His body seems crumpled around her, and his steps are much slower than usual, as if he’s trying to shield her from the world. But with the size of her, he only really needs one arm to hold her, since even with her head nestled into the crook of his arm, her feet barely reach his wrist.
His grin is so large, it looks almost painted on.
“I’ve gone and done it,” he says.
I frown, taking a bottle of water from the fridge.
“Done what?”
“I’ve fed her; I managed to get two ounces of milk down her.”
“I thought the twins were in the bedroom with Adrianna?”
“They were, but I grabbed Iris-Mae when she went to take a shower.”
“That’s great, but also impossible; the steriliser’s down here.” I look towards the window, where it sits unplugged on the sill.
He takes a step back and his brows draw together. “Oh shit, I totally forgot. I took the bottle out of its box and just gave the teat a wipe with a clean towel. He pushes out his chest and stands proud. “I figured out how to use the milk machine.”
“Hang on, you’re not telling me you’ve used an unsterilised bottle to feed her, are you? Everything is supposed to be sterilised for the first twelve months.”
“Adrianna’s nipples aren’t sterile, so are you seriously telling me one bottle’s going to hurt?”
I frown.
“Okay, I’m sorry, I just didn’t think. It was my first attempt at feeding our daughter and when she took the teat and began to suck, I was mesmerised.”
I catch the expression on his face; how can I be cross when he looks so proud?
“Are you kidding me?!”
My head shoots round, and I see Adrianna wrapped in a towel, standing in the open doorway, Harper’s head resting on her shoulder. My sister gives me an unsavoury stare.
“Haven’t you told him anything? Is he totally incompetent?”
“Hello,” Gabriel announces quite loudly, “I am here.”
Her attention leaves me. “All I can say is, it’s lucky for you the midwife isn’t here.”
Now Gabriel stares at me. “Are you seriously going to let her speak to me like that?”
“She’s bound to be concerned, they’re only just out of hospital.” It’s not an easy task trying to play mediator between my sister and my partner.
Adrianna’s shaking her head. “It’s obvious you don’t know the first thing about bringing up a child. Give Iris-Mae to me.”
He laughs. “You’re a fine one to talk; you couldn’t exactly call yourself a model parent.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Because I’m married to a woman? Or because my ex has taken off with my son?”
“You’re wrong on both counts. I was on about the time you came home from nursery without Logan and had to walk all the way back to get him with Natasha.”
“It was just one of those days … I had loads on my mind.”
“Exactly,” Gabriel huffs, “we’re all human and none of us is perfect, so my suggestion to you is to get off your high horse and stop being so damn touchy.”
Adrianna waltzes across the kitchen and one-handedly takes Iris-Mae out of his arms, then turns and walks out. Gabriel is standing with his mouth open, his arms hanging loosely at his side. I don’t think he quite believes what he’s just witnessed, and he looks extremely hurt. Blowing out, he rubs his hand through his hair and sucks in a breath.
He shakes his head. “This isn’t going to work. I put my hands up, I messed up, and you told me so, but I’ll be damned if every time I make a mistake I’ve got Adrianna breathing down my neck, taking over.”
He strides towards me and presses his palms against my shoulders.
“It’s no good, Natasha, she’s got to go.”
I glance up between my lashes, hoping I can change his mind.
“She can’t, not yet.”
“I’ve fed Iris-Mae, so I can feed Harper. And if I can do it, so can you; all it needs is a little time and patience. We’ll get there.”
I feel his thumbs stroking the top of my arms and quickly pull myself free.
“It’s not as simple as that.”
“Well, I think it is,” he contradicts, edging away and bowing his head over the sink. “Natasha, I’m not going to stand here arguing.” He turns on the tap and flicks cold water onto his face. “Guess it’s your decision.”
I’m left alone in the kitchen, mulling over his words. It will be nice when it’s just the two of us, but the twins have to come first.
It was coming up to 11 o’clock and Adrianna seemed to be keeping a low profile, so I went up to bath the twins. While I filled the small plastic baths and gathered the baby soap and shampoo, she kept out of my way and never even popped in to see if I needed a hand. When she did eventually come back into the bedroom, she was chatting on her phone to Danielle. I collected the dirty nappies and wipes, and threw them into the small wicker basket beneath my dressing table, then began drying Harper on the bed in a soft white towel. I decided to talk to Adrianna about her attitude towards Gabriel and told her she needed to back off, cut him some slack, but she seemed far too busy cooing over Iris-Mae to take much notice.
I thought I might catch Gabriel in a better mood and knew I’d find him in the conservatory. I decided to grab him a glass of orange juice with ice and join him. The twins were fast asleep, wrapped in their pink knitted blankets.
Adrianna had said she was feeling a little tired and was going to put her head down for an hour before Danielle came round with a change of clothes.
I smile in readiness to ease the mood and walk into the conservatory. Larry’s lying on the settee, but Gabriel is nowhere to be seen. I gaze out into the garden, thinking he might be pottering around or watering the plants, but I can’t see him.
When he eventually walked through the front door, I was sitting in the dining room with Adrianna, eating lunch. The twins had both been fed and were in their Winnie the Pooh bouncy chairs, the soft felt mobiles ringing out a Brahms lullaby. I follow Adrianna’s eyes, and think she’s waiting for him to say something, but his eyes stay focused on the floor. He blanks Adrianna and the twins, making damn sure it’s obvious that he’s doing so. I think he manages a low grunt when I ask him to boil the kettle, but I could have been mistaken.
Danielle came round as expected, and it was one of those awkward situations where nobody really spoke. Gabriel sat for over an hour with his head buried in the newspaper, mumbling under his breath when Danielle tried to make conversation, but apart from that I didn’t hear him utter a word.
Adrianna plugs her iPad in to charge and unpacks her clean clothes, then folds them and lays them on the arm of the settee. Danielle sits forward and crosses her legs.
“Have either of you had any thoughts on getting the twins christened?”
The newspaper rustles as Gabriel folds it in half.
“I don’t know what you’re asking me for, Natasha’s the one who makes all the decisions round here.”
I frown, but he doesn’t see as his face disappears again behind a wall of black and white print.
“Well?” Danielle asks again.
“To be honest, with Mum and Dad away I haven’t given it a second thought, and it wouldn’t seem right without Logan with us.”
Adrianna looks down into her lap. “Please, Tash, leave it. It hurts too much to talk about him.”
“Is there any news from Asim? Do you still hear from him?”
Her feet, which had been curled around her on the cushion, are now back on the floor.
“Didn’t you hear what I just said?”
“But I didn’t mention Logan,” I say, swiftly avoiding her eyes; “it was Asim I was asking after.”
“He’s Skyping me around 5 o’clock our time,” she says in a voice that’s barely audible, and shrugs her shoulders. “But it’ll be the same old bullshit I hear every night.”
“Surely Josh’s money will help you, you know, with extra publicity, more people on the case, the authorities trying to find him?”
She glances towards the twins. “I’m not being told much, so your guess is as good as mine.”
My already folded arms tighten across my chest.
“Anyway, you never answered Danielle’s question,” she says.
I can only imagine how Adrianna must be feeling; when I lie awake in bed at night it’s not only the twins I can hear crying. She doesn’t say a lot to me, and I think keeping everything inside is her way of coping; I suppose in that way we’re quite alike. The girls keeping her busy may be a good thing.
“Yes, I guess I do want them christened, but…” About to bring up Logan’s name, I pause, not wanting to upset Adrianna further. “It’ll be when the time is right, right for us all.” I grin. “At least I won’t have to look far to find my children’s godmothers.”
Danielle breaks into a smile, but when I look at Adrianna I can see that her mind is elsewhere, my guess hundreds of miles away from this small room in Matlock.
“You know what? Take me out of the equation. If anything were to happen to me,” I say, edging towards the front of the settee, “who else would I possibly want to take care of my girls?”
I think Adrianna is back with us, as she’s wearing a small, yet noticeable grin. I’m expecting Gabriel to second my wishes, but when I turn, the chair he was sitting in is empty. I saw Larry sniffing around his food bowl a few minutes ago, so Gabriel’s probably in the kitchen.
I feel like a third wheel. Danielle has rolled up her black and white Gucci top and Adrianna is now sitting at her side, her hand on Danielle’s protruding stomach. I feel left out of the conversation, which is all about her forthcoming birth. I gaze over at the twins, who seem quite content.
“I’m just popping upstairs, okay?” I say.
Adrianna turns, nods and smiles.
Where bottle feeding is concerned, Iris-Mae just got it; as soon as the teat touches her lips, her mouth opens and she’s sucking. I reach the landing, lean back against the bannister and stare into Adrianna’s bedroom. I think it might be a good time to move her Moses basket into our room. I’m bubbling with excitement at the thought of waking up and seeing her lying there. Sod it, it’s not going to move itself and I’m not going to wait. With the changing mat on top and a bag of nappies, I drag the Moses basket out of her bedroom, open the door to ours and drag it inside.
“Fucking hell, Natasha, shut the door! I’ve got nothing on!” Gabriel shouts as I enter.
I jump, gasp and grab my chest with my hand.
“Bloody hell! What are you doing sneaking around? I thought you were downstairs.”
“Well you thought wrong. I went out for a long walk this morning and felt like a hot shower.” He’s dithering, his hands placed strategically over his cock. “Natasha, if you intend to stand around talking, will you shut the damn door?”
“Do you really think you’ve got anything to worry about?” I giggle. “You’re in a house with two lesbians.”
I’m expecting a smile, but he just frowns. He’s made his point, so I turn round and start to close the door behind me. I turn back and my eyes widen.
“There’s only me here, you can let it go,” I emphasise.
My eyes lower as his hands slip away. I wouldn’t say his penis is erect, but it’s well on the way. My gaze wanders up his tanned body, which glistens as droplets of water run down his chest. My cheeks are heating up, and all sorts of things are happening below.
“Come on then,” I say, stepping towards him; “he hasn’t been out to play for a while.”
He lifts a towel from the bedroom floor and wraps it around his waist.
“I’m not really in the mood,” he says flippantly.
“Looking at that,” I say, pointing towards the large bulge growing beneath the towel, “I think he might kind of disagree.”
I step closer and run my finger between the hem of the towel and his waist. His skin feels cool and soft to the touch, making my fingers linger a while longer.
“Is this what you want?” he asks.
His minty breath washes down my neck as he takes my hand. The towel falls between us, coming to rest on my feet. I heat up as he curls my fingers around his growing shaft, and very slowly begins moving my wrist up and down. Not needing his assistance, I flick his hand away, quite happy doing this on my own. Breaths hitch in my throat, and I can feel my pants becoming damp as my excitement grows. I’m squirming out of my jeans, and Gabriel reaches down and drags them from my legs, leaving the stone-washed denim to loiter on the carpet.
I peer through my lashes, gazing up into those beautiful blue eyes, and gasp in a short breath as his fingers, strong and warm, cup around my arse, pulling me firmly against him. My thighs won’t stop shaking; it feels so good having him close for a bit of us time. I press my palm slightly harder against his thick erection and smile to myself, thinking where his moist head is going. Feeling the pull of his hands, I shimmy my hips as his fingers catch the black lace of my panties and edge them down past my knees. I point my toes, enabling gravity to do the rest. His tongue makes its way round and round his lips, my response being to bite down on my own. Training my eyes on his, which smile down at me, my hair rustles as I lean back, tilting my head, which frees up my neck and makes way for his lips. His heavy breaths come in waves as he sucks at my soft skin, teasing me with his tongue. I scrunch my shoulders and giggle; it’s ticklish but in a nice way.
“I’m going to fuck you,” he growls, pressing his knees between mine and forcing them apart.
His hands trail up between my breasts, circling past my nipples and on to my arms, which he grabs to lift me. Then he spins me round and sits my bare arse down onto the cool, smooth surface of the dressing table, swiping away unwanted ornaments, my brush and handheld mirror. I moan, arching my back as his fingers slip inside me. Letting out muffled groans, I lift my hips and press myself into him. I watch as he takes himself in hand, his free hand pulling my hips forward. His hair falls across his eyes, which I mess up with my fingers. Grabbing my inner thighs, he thrusts his hard length inside me, over and over again. I’m totally engulfed by my own satisfaction and enjoyment, and when his rhythmical thrusts change to short, sharp jerks, he wraps his arms around me as I feel his warm release.
Breathing deeply, I lie back on the bed. Gabriel picks up the towel that he dropped earlier, and I watch as he secures it around his waist. I laugh when he opens the bedroom door and looks both ways before crossing the landing; seconds later I hear the latch click on the bathroom door.
When he walks back into the bedroom, I’m gathering my clothes together and sorting through my drawers for a change of underwear. I push my arms through the sleeves of my dressing gown.
“Very sexy,” I snigger, seeing Gabriel step into a pair of red boxers, his arse stuck up in the air like a full moon.
I can’t resist, and whip out the belt from the waist of my dressing gown and across his cheeks. With his legs knotted up in his boxers, he turns round to grab me, but I’m far too quick. I’m out of the bedroom, across the landing and locked securely in the bathroom.
Showered and changed, I head back to our bedroom for a cuddle. I open the door, but he’s not here; all that’s left is his towel back on the floor and the lingering smell of his body spray. I’m quite surprised; it’s not like him. A cuddle after sex is something we both like, but with the twins downstairs and Danielle visiting, perhaps he thought it best he went downstairs.
Back in the lounge, Adrianna’s sprawled out on the pouffe between the bouncy chairs, slowly rocking the girls. I frown when she tells me Danielle’s left, as she never shouted up to say goodbye as she always does. I feel my cheeks redden as I wonder if they heard us.
Gabriel’s kneeling down by the coffee table, writing something on a piece of lined paper. I clear my throat, and he cocks his head and looks up briefly. I smile, but he doesn’t. He lowers his eyes, takes a sip of water from a glass and then continues to write.
“I’ve already asked Gabriel if it’s okay,” Adrianna pipes up. “It’s just Darcy text, saying she wants to pop in. She’s got cards and presents for the twins, and your birthday present and a bottle of something nice.”
She’s talking so fast I’m unable to process what she’s saying, so I just stand there open-mouthed.
“She asked,” she continues, “if it was okay to bring her new boyfriend.”
She turns over so that she’s lying on her stomach.
“I still can’t believe you and the twins share the same birthday…”
She waffles on, and to be honest I’m no longer listening. I notice Gabriel roll his eyes a couple of times, but I’m not sure if it’s her constant talking or the thought of Darcy and her boyfriend turning up in less than an hour.
Harper’s starting to stir, and I’m about to suggest getting her a bottle when I see that Adrianna’s already on her feet.
“Call me when Darcy turns up,” she says, unfastening the chair. “I’ll be down as quick as I can.”
The stairs creak. Gabriel pushes himself away from the coffee table and, crouching, looks up.
“Can’t see Adrianna ever moving out; not once have I seen her attempting to give Harper a bottle.”
He rips the page from the notebook, screws it up and drops it. He gets back to his feet.
“What are you doing?” I quiz.
“Taking Larry for a walk, that’s what,” he says, looking down. “It’s bad enough having to put up with your sister 24/7 without having to make small talk with Darcy and her newfound boyfriend.”
“Yeah, okay, she’s a pain, and hard work at times, but you’re forgetting that she’s been very good to us.”
“Yeah, so everybody keeps telling me.”
Gabriel is gone before I have time to reply. I bend down and pick up the crumpled ball of paper he dropped. I thought he had been writing, but as I flatten out the creases between my hands, my eyes are met by sketches of unknown faces, unappealing expressionless doodles that I could imagine doing myself if I was bored.
Adrianna has been a bit full-on since moving in, and I’m not denying Gabriel has a point, but then she has given us both such a wonderful gift, I can’t possibly risk upsetting her. Her hormones must be like unleashed charges of electricity. I sink down onto the arm of the settee, staring out of the window but not really seeing anything. Gabriel’s moodiness is pricking at my thoughts; it’s almost childish. I’m sitting here chewing the hell out of my lips, my head a contradiction of emotions.
Still pondering, I saunter into the kitchen. The bottle I was considering making for Harper I make up for Iris-Mae. Returning to the lounge, I punch a large hollow into the beanbag and, with Iris-Mae in my arms, lower myself down to place the teat between those pretty pink lips of hers. I’m close to tears; she’s so beautiful. In a matter of days she has managed to fill my heart, my whole being overcome with love.
As Adrianna ambled back downstairs, I couldn’t fault her timing; her foot touched the bottom step just as the doorbell rang.
To be honest, I really wasn’t in the right mind for visitors. When Darcy and her boyfriend first arrived it was a real struggle even to smile, but I did so purely out of politeness. With the introductions and small talk out of the way, James, her latest conquest, actually seemed nice and easy to talk to. I glanced across the room into an open face and warm brown hair that held a natural sheen and kept falling across his forehead. I noticed a small dimple sitting comfortably on his left cheek, and there was certainly no denying he was easy on the eye. From the glazed look in Darcy’s eyes I’d say she was pretty much smitten. I noticed she’d had a couple of inches cut off her hair, and I felt the shorter style complimented her face.
Kissing my cheeks, Darcy presented me with my favourite, a large bottle of Prosecco, which I took straight into the kitchen. I was gone for no more than a couple of minutes, just long enough to put the wine in the fridge to cool and to flick the switch on the kettle. When I walked back in, I didn’t mean to frown but I just couldn’t help the change of expression my face decided to take. I saw that in my brief absence, Adrianna had emptied the bag of presents Darcy had brought over for the girls, the gift-wrapping lying in shreds on the cushions around her. She was sat propped forward, rubbing the fur of a large pink teddy over Iris-Mae’s face and down under her chin. When I sat down at her side, she literally jumped up and grabbed Darcy by the hand, pulling her towards the staircase and telling her she would have to be quiet because Harper was sleeping. ‘Oi, I’m here,’ I felt like shouting, ‘you know, the babies, they are mine,’ but of course I didn’t. I just sat with my legs crossed and watched as Adrianna took all the limelight. I wanted that rush, that proud feeling that turned over and over in my belly as I showed off my girls, but it was Adrianna carrying Harper down the stairs, wrapped like a prize in her arms, and who introduced Iris-Mae to her first teddy.
Gabriel’s words rang in my mind about Adrianna never moving out, but I tried to snap myself out of thinking these ominous thoughts. Wake up, Natasha! This is all Gabriel putting doubt into your head. Adrianna was excited, nothing more; and she had carried and given birth to them, so didn’t she deserve some of the credit? Gabriel really needed to get a grip, and I needed to forget his childish rants and just enjoy the special moments that Adrianna had made possible.
An hour later, Darcy and James are still here. I heard Gabriel come in through the kitchen door, but he never said hello. I had hoped the walk might have cleared his head and he would join us, but I was left disappointed and realised I was beginning to feel quite lonely.